by Amy Vansant
“The less I make him dress up, the less he pretends to get a stomach ache before the party,” said Mariska.
“Wait…” Declan touched Charlotte’s arm. “Is that guy with Stephanie…”
Charlotte realized what she thought had been one of the tent poles was actually a very tall, thin man in a flesh-colored body suit. He wore boxers covered in leaves, his ribs and boney chest clearly visible beneath his giant leotard.
“Rocky! Looks like Eve brought Adam with her.”
“Who’s Rocky?’ asked Mariska.
Charlotte waved her away. “I’ll tell you later. Have you seen Jackie?”
Mariska shook her head. A woman behind her called her name and she, Darla, Frank and Bob wandered over to her to say hi.
“Are you sure Seamus said he was coming?” Charlotte asked Declan.
“Yes—in fact, there he is…Jackie is with him,” Declan stood on his toes to peer over the heads in the crowd. “I’ll go warn them Rocky’s here.”
“Okay. I’ll stay put and keep an eye on him.”
Declan touched her arm and then slipped into the crowd. She stood a moment longer, and was about to look for Mariska and Darla when she heard a voice beside her.
“Hey, I know you.”
Charlotte turned to find Jason the fireman standing beside her, dressed in his fire gear.
“Jason! Gosh, you look exactly the same.”
He grinned. “Makes for an easy costume.”
“What are you doing here? You seem a little young.”
“I could say the same to you, but you’re famous.”
She laughed with nervous confusion. “Famous?”
“You’re the girl who grew up in a retirement community.”
“Did I tell you that?”
“No. I may have asked around a little.”
“You did?”
“Just now. I saw you a little bit ago and figured you were somebody’s granddaughter. I asked a lady over there who you were before I worked up the nerve to come over. So…decide if you have a boyfriend or not yet?”
She smiled, embarrassed. “I do. He’s here actually. Somewhere…” She turned and looked in the direction she’d last seen Declan retreating, but couldn’t find him.
“Sure he is. I’m starting to think he’s one of those imaginary boyfriends.”
“No, I swear.”
He grinned. “I’m just kidding. I saw him. Anyone else with you?”
“Anyone else?”
“I mean…did you come with a fun group of people or something?”
“Oh, no. What brings you to the party? Do you know someone in the retirement communities?”
“Uh, yeah. And you know, I should probably get back to her. I gotta get going.”
“Oh, okay. Well, it was nice to see you again.”
“You too.” He flashed a smile and wove his way through the crowd.
She wandered to the punch bowl and scooped a plastic cupful. Declan found her there and Seamus and Jackie arrived beside him.
“Couldn’t get the box, Char,” said Seamus, clapping her on the back. His entire costume was composed of one empty tool belt wrapped loosely around his waist.
“And I thought for sure you had it,” said Declan. “Where were you all day?”
Seamus rubbed his wrist and stared at his hand as if deep in thought. “I…er…I got tied up.”
Charlotte sighed. “Gloria’s idea for luring Diana out of her house with dogs is starting to sound like our best option, which is scary.”
“One bit of good news—” said Seamus, perking. “Her husband left her, so we don’t have to worry about two people watching over the box.”
“How’d you find that out?”
“Uh…neighborhood gossip. The usual.”
“Are you sure you should be here with Rocky lurking nearby?”
Seamus scoffed. “I’m not concerned about him.”
“This is all so stressful,” said Jackie, dressed as a flapper from the Roaring Twenties. “How’s your other case going?”
Charlotte shrugged. “The only new clue is that I found out kids did blow up Gloria’s mailbox, so if I take that out of the timeline…the threats could still fit my flag theory.”
“My parrot flag?” asked Jackie. “So my trouble became her trouble after all.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Seamus.
“Jackie and Gloria’s flags were switched. I mentioned to Jackie it was possible someone meant to threaten her with that note, but ended up giving it to Gloria by accident. Same with the fire.”
“So you think they confused Jackie and Gloria’s houses because of the flags?”
“Maybe… Oh…no…” Charlotte’s gaze turned to the door of the tent.
“What is it?” asked Jackie.
Charlotte closed her eyes. “It’s a Pegacorn.”
“It’s a what?” asked Declan.
“A Pegacorn. It’s a unicorn with wings, half unicorn, half Pegasus.”
“Oh, no,” said Jackie. “They stole your costume!”
“And raised it! We can’t beat a Pegacorn with a unicorn. That’s like trying to beat a manticore with a plain old sphinx.”
Declan nodded. “Right, I was just about to say that.”
“You were?”
Declan peered down his nose at her and she realized he was teasing.
“Oh. Sorry. A manticore is like a sphinx but with a scorpion’s tail.”
“Duh.”
“What are we going to do? We can’t just trot up as a unicorn. It’s an instant fail.”
Charlotte swept her gaze across the room, her mind whirring as she searched for possible solutions. The Pegacorn had combined two creatures. Maybe she…
She spotted Stephanie standing beside Rocky with her oversized handbag in her hand and wondered why Declan’s ex would lug such a ridiculous bag to a party.
That’s when she had an idea.
“Seamus, you stole Declan’s napkin contract out of Stephanie’s bag, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“Why do you think it was in there?”
He shrugged. “She wants to keep things close to her I suppose.”
“What about the will?”
“Oh that’s in there too,” said Declan. “She pulled it out and waved it at me.”
Charlotte smiled. “I was hoping you’d say that.” She stood on her toes and waved. “Hey Stephanie! Come here!”
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Well, fancy meeting you here,” said Stephanie approaching the group, trademark smirk on her lips. “Declan, you remember Rocky.”
Rocky thrust out his hand and Declan scowled. “Really?”
The tall man scratched his cheek as if that had always been his intention and looked away.
Stephanie scowled at Charlotte. “Why are you looking at me like that?” She looked at Declan. “What’s wrong with her?”
“How would you like to win the costume contest?”
Charlotte watched a parade of emotions cross Stephanie’s face. Confusion, glee, triumph—yes! She was enamored with the idea of winning. Her eyes had lit beneath her knitted brow.
This just might work.
“Me?” said Stephanie, placing her hand on her chest. “I mean… I’m looking pretty good, but there are cleverer costumes here.”
“But as a pair…”
She glanced at Rocky. “Adam and Eve? Still not enough. Maybe if we’d thought to bring a live snake…”
“No, I mean with us.” Charlotte snapped the unicorn horn off her horse head and dropped it to the ground.
“What are you doing?’ asked Declan. “You’ve downgraded us from unicorn to horse!”
“Not just a horse. We’re Lady Godiva’s horse.”
Declan followed her gaze to Stephanie and began to shake his head. “Oh no… No, no, no. She is not sitting on my back.”
“What’s a horse have to do with chocolate?’ asked Rocky.
“Not
Godiva the chocolate, Godiva the lady who rode naked,” said Stephanie, rolling her eyes at him.
He shrugged.
“So you want me to ride him?” asked Stephanie, her gaze never wavering from Declan. “Naked?”
Declan dropped his head into his hand. “Charlotte, please make this stop. We’ll win next year.”
Charlotte leaned towards him and hissed “Go with it - Trust me” in his ear.
Stephanie glanced at the competing Pegacorn costume and pursed her lips. “I could win this.”
“How naked are you without the strategically placed leaves?” asked Charlotte.
“Believably so. I’m wearing a flesh thong and pasties.”
Rocky’s already large eyes bugged and he swallowed hard.
“Seriously?” asked Declan. “Who owns pasties? Do you jump out of cakes on the weekends?”
Stephanie glared at him. “It’s a costume.”
“Perfect!” said Charlotte clapping them both on their shoulders to distract them from their quarrel. “Time to assume the position, Declan!”
He set his jaw. “I hope you know I’m only doing this for you.”
Charlotte grinned. “I know.”
“And you…” he turned to Stephanie who had removed her leaves and now stood as close to naked as she could in a sheer bodysuit. “You’re going to have to sit back toward the butt. I can’t support your weight on my shoulders bent over.”
“That’s not how I remember it.”
“That…that doesn’t even make sense.”
“I’m trying to picture it…” said Rocky.
Declan shot him a glance. “You are a weird dude.”
He shrugged again.
Declan looked at Charlotte. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
She nodded. “This is a winner. Do it for Pineapple Port!”
He huffed and bent over, pulling the covering over his head and resting his hands on Charlotte’s hips. “Rocky, help her up.”
Grunting, Rocky lifted Stephanie and placed her on Declan’s lower back. She wrapped her legs around his waist.
“Ah, just like old times,” she said.
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” said Charlotte.
“You and me both,” mumbled Rocky.
“You can’t carry your bag with you!” said Charlotte. “Lady Godiva didn’t have a purse.”
“Sure she did,” said Stephanie, clutching it tighter.
“Come on. We have to do this right if we—I mean, if you’re going to win.”
Stephanie grimaced. “Fine.” She thrust the bag at Rocky. “Hold this.”
He took it.
Charlotte looked at Seamus and widened her eyes before using them to point toward the bag in Rocky’s arms. Seamus returned with one almost imperceptible nod of his head.
“Last call for the costume contest!” said a voice over the loudspeaker.
“Wait,” said Stephanie, her eyes on her bag. “I—”
Charlotte pulled Declan toward center stage and put on her horse head. “Let’s go!”
They trotted toward the line of costume trophy hopefuls, nearly knocking over a woman dressed as a cat.
“Watch it, lady,” snapped Stephanie. The woman glanced at her and scurried away.
“I’m not going to be able to walk for a week,” said Declan, grunting.
“Usually, it was me saying that,” said Stephanie. Her voice seemed louder, as if she’d leaned forward to be sure Charlotte heard the comment. In her horse head, Charlotte growled.
They found their place in line, careful not to stand too close to the Pegacorn. “I hope Pineapple Port appreciates what I’m doing for them here,” said Charlotte.
“What you’re doing?” said Declan. “I have a she-demon on my back and I don’t even live in Pineapple Port.”
“I’m having a wonderful time,” said Stephanie, slapping her horse’s rump and waving at the receptive crowd like a pageant queen.
“First we’re going to narrow it down to six,” said the contest announcer.
The three judges weeded out the weaker witches, pirates and other costumes. When they finished six contestants remained. An extremely scary spider-like alien, Darla and Frank as email and attachment, a convincing zombie, a seventy-year old French maid, the Pegacorn and Lady Godiva.
“What happened to your horn?” whispered Darla, shuffling toward Charlotte. “And don’t look now but Declan’s ex has mounted him.”
Charlotte sighed. “The Pegacorn.”
“Popping corn?”
“The Pegacorn. See down the other end? It’s a unicorn with wings. We didn’t stand a chance as a unicorn; we had to improvise.”
Darla gave Stephanie a dubious once over and grunted her disapproval. “By the looks of her you should have dressed like a pole.”
“She’s Lady Godiva.”
“Oh that girl is no lady anything.”
“It’s time to announce the winners!” said the announcer and Darla took a step back toward Frank to be judged.
“For scariest costume and the winner of a twenty-five dollar gift certificate to Chuckie’s Grub Haus…the alien!”
The spider creature stepped forward and took the coupon, waving to the crowd as three fake arms followed in unison below his topmost.
“For funniest costume and winner of another twenty-five dollar gift certificate to Chuckie’s Grub Haus…email and attachment!”
Darla whooped and ran forward to claim her prize.
“I’d like to thank the academy…” she said holding it over her head, and a ripple of laughter ran through the crowd.
“And for best overall costume and the winner of a fifty dollar gift certificate to Chuckie’s Grub Haus…”
“Sounds like the real winner is Chuckie’s Grub Haus,” mumbled Declan.
“…Lady Godiva!”
Charlotte took a step toward the judge, but not before Stephanie slid from Declan’s back and ran forward to snatch the gift certificate from the judge’s hand. She held it aloft and raised her other fist in victory, bobbing on her toes enough to make her pasties bounce. The crowd exchanged glances with one another as they clapped; some sharing disapproval, some other thoughts.
Declan stood from beneath his drape and helped Charlotte pull off her horse head.
“Unbelievable,” he said.
“I just hope it took long enough,” Charlotte muttered. “I’m going to try and keep her tied up here a bit. Go check on Seamus.”
“Seamus?”
“If he gives you a thumbs up, let me know.”
“Wait—what?”
“The purse,” she said from the side of her mouth.
“The—” Declan gasped. “The will!”
“Yes! Go!”
He grinned and nodded. “Going!”
Darla walked over to Charlotte and turned to stare at the bouncing Godiva with her. “She took the prize?”
“Not for long.”
As the dance music began and the crowd filled in, Charlotte stepped forward and yanked the gift certificate from Stephanie’s hand.
Stephanie spun and put her hands on her hips. “Hey! They said the winner was Lady Godiva. That’s me.”
Charlotte shook her head. “Sorry. Mariska and Darla spent months on this costume. This is going to them.”
Stephanie set her jaw. “We’ll see about that.” She tried to grab for the certificate and Charlotte jerked it away from her.
“Hey now ladies,” said Seamus, stepping between them. “Am I going to have to get that vat of Jello after all?”
Stephanie glared at him. “Chuckie’s Grub Haus is disgusting anyway,” she spat before storming towards Rocky, who stood waving at her from fifteen feet away, a goofy grin on his face.
Charlotte sighed and leaned toward Seamus. “I take it your presence means mission accomplished?”
He nodded. “Easy as a summer breeze. The boy never knew what hit him. Declan is already on his way to the car with the tube.”
An angry scream echoed through the tent and Charlotte looked up in time to see Stephanie, her fists raised in the air. Rocky appeared even paler than usual.
“We better get out of here too,” she suggested.
Seamus nodded.
They ducked and jogged from the tent until they found Declan just sliding into his car. Charlotte jumped in the passenger seat and Seamus slid into the back.
“You’re a genius!” Declan told her.
“Hey, I did all the hard work,” said Seamus.
Charlotte couldn’t hide her giddiness. “Let me see!”
Declan slid the will out of the plastic tube and rolled it open. His face fell and Charlotte felt a rush of dread.
“It isn’t the will?”
“It’s the will,” said Declan. “But a real will would be on file somewhere, wouldn’t it? Stealing it doesn’t do me any good. I was hoping it wouldn’t be real at all.”
“It looks real,” said Seamus, peering over his shoulder.
“Let me see,” said Charlotte.
He handed it to her and she flipped to the last page. She smiled.
“What is it?” asked Declan. “Did he forget to sign it?”
“Oh no, it’s signed. But take a close look.” She held up the sheet so both could see.
“What?” said Seamus. “It says Bonehead O’Malley…”
The corner of Declan’s lips began to curl. “It says Bonehead…”
“Exactly. He wouldn’t have signed a will with his nickname.”
“She must have forgotten his real name!”
She nodded. “Keep this. If she tries to make another it will be nice proof that she’s up to no good.”
“If she figures out you arranged the distraction, she’s going to be furious,” said Seamus.
“Oh I hope she figures out that I planned it,” said Charlotte, grinning. “I hope so!”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“Have you heard from Frank yet?” asked Gloria as they crossed the street heading for Silver Lake.
Charlotte shook her head. “His deputies haven’t found the Rutter boys yet. They’re going to try and grab them tonight. Looks like you should stay another night, just to be safe.”
Gloria’s case was coming to an end, but for a few loose ends. Charlotte wanted the Rutter boys to admit to the threatening letter and the fire. If they didn’t, she’d have to ask Rocky if one of his people had confused the two houses. Either option would rule out someone actually trying to harm Gloria.