by Jayne Blue
“I need to get out of here at 2, got it? No later. If Slater can’t take me, someone else better be ready.”
“No sweat and thank you, Karen. Let’s not make it easy for Bane.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She didn’t like it, but I was pretty sure when it was time to leave for work, she’d let BP or one of us go with her.
“Thanks for that,” I said to Em. She’d helped me sell Karen on why Old Ladies needed an escort out of here.
We were alone in the hall. Em stepped closer and surprised me with a kiss.
She was sweet and soft, and shit, we were in the hall!
I gently removed her from me.
“What?”
“Your brother, he was in my face today. He suspects, maybe, or he was just flinging shit around. Anyway, we can’t do this here.”
“How long is this war or whatever it is going to go on? It’s like being under a microscope.”
“That I don’t know, doll.” As the word doll came out of my mouth, Brogan came around the corner.
Em jumped back like we had something to be guilty for. Shit, not too smooth!
“What the fuck is going on here?” Brogan had gone from zero to suspicious with one glance.
“Excuse me?” Em went right back at him.
“Is he touching you?” Brogan, my closest friend, was looking at me like I was dirt.
“Are you kidding me? Don’t be so stupid. He’s my friend as much as yours, and you’re acting like an ass. It’s the REASON I told him who attacked me, not you. You are a crazy person.”
“Oh, it’s crazy to want to protect my sister. It’s crazy to keep you out of the line of fire. It’s crazy to—” Brogan and Em were toe to toe. It was actually comical, her tiny self pitted against the bearlike Brogan.
“You aren’t the boss of me, and I’m tired of you thinking you are. I took care of the house and Momma all by myself. You were sewing your oats and acting like a fool and I was home with her!”
Brogan looked chastised, guilty, and well, Emlyn had won this round. Brogan put up his hands in surrender. Emlyn may be little, but she was as tough as Brogan, maybe tougher. I felt like I was intruding on a family thing and tried to sink into the wall.
“Fine, I give what do you want?”
“I want you to let me go back to the daycare. I got the all-clear from Rose. I can’t be away any longer. And the kids need me.”
Brogan thought about it. He looked from Em to me.
“Only if you promise to take Kase.”
“What?”
“I’m serious. I want Kase, or one of us, to have eyes on you and the kids.”
I was going to be at the daycare? Jesus. I wanted to be rolling with my brothers, kicking ass, taking names. Instead, I was going to be at the daycare?
“I can’t argue with that. If there’s danger, I want my kids safe.”
“I trust Kase,” Brogan said and looked at me. It was an apology. Ridge might still be sore over the shit I pulled, but Brogan and I were okay.
“I’m leaving in fifteen minutes. I’m going to get my stuff.”
Emlyn walked off in a huff. She’d succeeded in turning this whole thing around. Instead of Brogan being suspicious, he was contrite. I had to remember how smart Em was, that I’d likely never win if we were fighting.
I hoped we wouldn’t be fighting. I hoped the keep my distance plan would cool the two of us down. I didn’t want to be on Brogan’s bad side again. Though Brogan had just thrown a wrench into my plan, yet again, insisting that I stick to Em like glue.
He had no idea what this was doing to me! And he could never know.
“Sorry, man, I’m just being an ass. Make sure she gets to school, and Ridge is authorizing us to have three guys there, during the entire time the school is open.”
“The last thing we need is any of those kids hurt.”
“Exactly.”
“I wish I could help you more, though, man, have your back.”
“Ridge knows what he’s doing, and watching my sister is having my back.” We clasped arms.
“Is the crew going tonight?”
“Yep, we’re setting up a trap. Bane only has to walk into it.”
“Good, careful.”
“You too. No more going rogue and make sure she doesn’t either.”
“Got it.”
Brogan took off. I had an uneasy feeling, knowing that the club was headed out without me. I usually rode point. I handled shit. This time I was on the outside.
Em came and found me when she was ready to head back to the Friendly Forest.
“We have to cool it, Em. I hate lying to my brother.” It was the honest truth.
“You saw what I did, how I threw him off the trail.”
“I did, you’re devious as hell. I like it. And you scare me.”
“Good, we deserve the chance to figure out what we want without worry about Brogan.”
“I still think we need to cool down and—”
“Sure, Kase, we can cool down.” And as she said it, she gave me a look that said sex. Shit. I was in way over my head with this babe. Things were on her terms.
I was determined to do my job for the M.C., do what Brogan asked me, and never let another bad thing happen to Emlyn.
I was worried, though, that I was the bad thing that happened to Emlyn. And I was also worried that when she looked at me like that, I had zero ability to walk away.
She fucking melted me and didn’t break a sweat in the process.
Damned unfair.
We headed to the daycare. At least there, work would distract her from torturing me.
I hoped.
Sixteen
Emlyn
I had problems. Work problems, family problems, and boy problems. And there was also the problem of being out of the whatever crayon Troy needed today.
“This one isn’t orange; it’s peach. I not WANT peach.”
“Right, okay, let’s try this.”
I showed Troy how to use a little white and orange and that distracted him. He’d be working on color combos for at least thirty seconds while I dealt with the fifty-million messages into the center about expansion.
“Wanda, the bank isn’t going to give me a loan. And yet look, there is such demand. I have to come up with a solution.”
“Honey, I didn’t want to tell you this, but, well, I’m selling the whole thing.”
“What?”
I’m working myself sick trying to come up with a way to get more kids, more space, more programming, and she was throwing in the towel?
I was panicked, sad, shocked, and trying to watch Troy closely, so he didn’t hit Greer in frustration over who got to hold the Lego box.
“I know you’re working hard. It’s just time for me to step down. I need to close it all down. I need to get out while I still can. My son, in Florida, says we’re heading for another bad patch with real estate. We’re going to get a flood of kids who can’t pay. I don’t do it for the money, you know that. But I just can’t be sure how much strength I have for any of it anymore.”
“But we should be doing the opposite. The neighborhood needs us.”
“You’re a wonderful teacher, honey. The kids love you; the parents love you. Go to a rich neighborhood, get a job at one of the chichi places on The Gold Coast. Don’t say here, I mean, you nearly got killed the other day.” Wanda lifted her hand to my cheek and looked at it with worry in her eyes.
“When? How much time do I have?”
“It’s going to go fast. I hope. Maybe a month or so.” Wanda was done talking.
Here I was trying to find ways for us to expand. Trying to maybe buy into the business or find a grant. And Wanda was ready for it all to end. The banker had said no, but it really didn’t matter. Wanda was done.
I had been on fire with ways to give this business a new life. I had been excited to make Friendly Forest the sanctuary that the neighborhood needed. I tried with the bank and had been shot down. I had hoped that, s
omehow, Wanda and I would figure it out, but she didn’t have the energy for it. Or passion.
The last few days of violence had taken a toll on everyone, but I didn’t think it was going to derail my entire dream. It couldn’t.
I didn’t see an option. Where was the road that would expand Friendly Forest? I couldn’t find it.
I tried to focus on the kiddos. That was one thing about working with littles: no matter what was pre-occupying me, they were first. Their sweet faces, their sticky hands, their dramatic reactions to some things, and thoughtful musings on others pushed the bad thoughts from my mind. I didn’t have the luxury of crying in my coffee today, not when a dozen kids have a million different concerns.
I worked on meeting each one. I stopped thinking about Wanda, or Brogan, or Kase.
I focused on what my little students needed.
I remembered why I’d worked so hard getting my degree. They didn’t care that I had financial problems. And they shouldn’t.
That was the hell of it. While I focused on them, I feared that all this could be over. And then who would do this for the kids when the parents had to work?
I knew Kase was outside, circling, walking, making sure that no one scared my kids. I also knew there were several Great Wolves, probies, or whatever, helping to keep an eye on us.
But honestly, I also forgot about all that in the flow of the day. In this bubble of Friendly Forest, with the demands of each second, I found my center.
I was able to fix things, make the kids smile, and I was fully me.
I tried Wanda one more time before my shift was over.
“Are you sure, isn’t there some way we can do this? You can’t close too.”
“I’m sorry, honey. You’re great with these kids, but it’s time for me to retire. Maybe ten years ago...heck, who am I kidding? More like fifteen.” She squeezed my arm.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. I mean, if there’s a place to come to tomorrow.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, this is going to take a few weeks to iron out.”
“Great.”
“But Emlyn, we do need to start notifying the parents. That’s only fair. The Head Start people only told their families the week of the closures.”
“That’s not right.”
“I know. So that means, probably next week, I’m going to have to start breaking the news.”
“I hate this.”
“Honey, you’re young. You’ve got a lot of time for a lot of dreams to happen.”
“Or for them to be crushed.”
“Okay, yeah, go home. See you tomorrow.” Wanda was done holding my hand. I couldn’t blame her. I was asking for too much from her. She’d given a lot to our neighborhood her entire life.
Who was I to push her to give more?
“You ready?” Kase was at the back door, and he started me. I was lost in my own disappointment.
“Yeah, sure.” I grabbed my bag and walked out with him.
“You sure keep moving in that job,” Kase said and I nodded yes. “That little Greer is so cute, it’s like he’s Baby Yoda or something.”
“Yes, totes,” I said offhandedly.
“Your hair turned purple at work today.”
“Yes, uh, hunh,” I said as we walked on the sidewalk.
“Hey.” Kase stopped us and put a hand on my arm.
“What?”
“You’re not listening. Something has you staring off into space. Is it Gooch? I promise that you’re safe, he won’t hurt you again.”
“No, uh, sorry.”
And then I looked Kase in the eye.
“I can’t stay here, if there’s no Friendly Forest, I just can’t stay here.”
“What?”
“This place is going to close.”
“Wait, I thought you were going to figure out how to expand it?”
“I was trying, but a no from the bank, and now Wanda has had it. She’s ready to close the doors and retire, like now.”
“But what will the kids do?”
“I really don’t know. There are zero affordable childcare options in this part of town now.”
“And you’re telling me you want to leave too?”
“I don’t want to leave, but there isn’t a way out. If there’s no place for me to work if the options keep dwindling? I mean, I have to work.”
“There has to be a way.”
“I tried Kase, I really did. Everyone else is leaving Stickney Forest all of a sudden. Maybe I just need to follow their lead.”
“The people who can’t leave are the ones who need you the most.”
“Yeah, well, I have one-thousand bucks in my bank account. My brother is off, what, fighting Bane, that’s just insane by the way, and you and I, well, what are we?”
Kase blinked. I had just dumped a lot on him.
“We’re something. I mean, I don’t have an answer for you, but we’re something.”
“I think so too. I think we’re something more than a booty call.”
“Yeah, I agree.”
“So, heck with it, let’s tell Brogan. Let’s come out of hiding and let the chips fall where they may.”
“I, uh.” His stammer was not a good sign.
“What’s he going to do? Ground me?”
“Brogan is your brother, your blood. He’s always going to be that.”
“You all say you’re brothers too.” I was mad, and honestly, taking it out on Kase. Like taking it out MAJOR.
“Yes, but that’s based on trust and choice. And I’ve chosen to break that trust.”
“With me, am I not worth it?”
“Where is all this coming from? I’m trying to keep up with you here.” Kase was confused, and I’d backed him into a corner.
“I need a win,” I said to him. That was the honest truth. In the last few days, I’d been beaten up, rejected by the bank, and now, about to be unemployed. The only good thing, and it was a spectacular thing, was Kase. I wanted him to make it better. And I swear, I know that was selfish, I know that was old fashioned, but it was what I felt in that moment.
“Telling your brother right now, it’s bad timing, and it won’t be a win. It will be a huge fight. One that will get me kicked out of the M.C. most likely.”
“So, we know where we stand then.”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“I think it is.” I turned and stopped the conversation. I went to walk away, but Kase grabbed my arm.
“Em, don’t walk away. I just need a little time.”
“I need more.” And I ripped my arm out of his grip.
“I still have to escort you back to the M.C. It’s dangerous right now.”
“Yeah yeah, Bane, whatever. You do you!”
I didn’t turn back. I knew Kase was behind me. I knew I’d picked a fight.
But I also knew that I felt more for them than just a fling.
And maybe that’s where I’d been wrong. Maybe Brogan had been right all along. Great Wolves bikers had flings. They were sexy and dangerous, but they didn’t amount to full-time commitments.
I knew that was a lie. I knew there was someone in Kase that I could trust and lean on. I knew there was more. That we could have more.
I just bungled it. I wrapped my anger at what was happening in my relationship with Kase.
And to hell with it, if he didn’t have the balls to stand up to my brother, what were we doing?
But with each step I took to distance myself from Kase, the negative thoughts grew. And without the kiddos to distract me, I was headed for a bad night.
Unfortunately, it was going to have to be at the M.C. because, of course, it was.
Kase didn’t try to stop me or walk with me after my outburst. In fact, he actually saw me into the M.C. and left me.
A part of me wanted a knock down drag out fight. I couldn’t fight the bank or argue that Wanda could put off her decision, but I could fight Kase.
But Kase was done with my crap. That much was clear.
He’d gotten out of my way after I had my meltdown.
I didn’t know if I was happy about that, or sad, but sad was winning. All the bad things were winning, it seemed.
Seventeen
Kase
Fuck. She’d challenged me and I’d failed.
Watching her work, seeing her with her classes, it was beauty in motion. It was sweetness and light combined with humor.
She comforted the kids with one hand and guided them with the other. All the while, making sure none of them were running with scissors. I was in awe of how she did what she did. And I wanted to tell her.
And instead, I’d pissed her off. Major.
I let her have some space. I knew it was bad enough that Brogan—or Ridge for that matter—wanted all our family to be here, in the H.Q. but worse, I was making her angrier because I was an idiot.
Well, the least I could do was get out of her way, let her cool off. I hope she did cool off.
In the last few days, I’d neglected the repair shop I was trying to get opened on the east side of the building. Ridge had bought the space, I was supposed to be outfitting it, and we’d be open for business in a few months. But with Bane, Emlyn, Brogan, and all of it, I’d pushed that to the back burner. I made sure BP knew that Emlyn was not to leave the H.Q. and I went out to the shop.
I needed to think, or maybe not think. I wasn’t the poetry in motion with the youth of America like Emlyn, but a little grease, a motor, the smell of gasoline? That could at least keep me out of fucking trouble for a hot second or two.
I wasn’t ready to tell Brogan, that was the bottom fucking line. I was on thin ice with the M.C. as it was. I knew staying here, keeping this place on lockdown was important. But I wasn’t an officer. Ridge had warned me I was one fuck up away from getting bounced. I thought back over the last few weeks and it was easy to see that my judgment was fucked up.
It was also easy to see the difference between me on the outs with the M.C. and me flying right with the M.C. It was Emlyn. I had been thinking with my cock.
I shook it off. I had to stop letting her invade my fucking thoughts. I would kick the shit out of anyone who hurt her. A million times, I’d make that choice.