by Jayne Blue
Brogan found me again.
“Shit, man, that was fun,” he said. Brogan and fun were not always words that went together.
“It was fun and effective,” I added, as I wiped off a little blood from my knuckle.
“Let’s make sure A.C. has a proper escort to the police department.” It was as close to a smile as Brogan got.
Ridge came up and delivered a little bad news.
“Looks like we’re missing the head of the snake. He’s fucking nowhere.”
“Son of a bitch,” Brogan spat.
“From what I can see, he wasn’t even fucking here.” Titus had joined the conversation.
“How does he get out when a shit ton of his crew is here?” I asked, but there was no answer.
“We stick to this part of the plan. Let’s make sure this truck gets exactly where it’s going,” Ridge said.
We got rolling. There was a Wolf on every corner of the truck as it rolled back to Chicago.
The final destination was the parking lot of South Mercy Hospital.
As we pulled in, Ridge made the call to Hayden Parker. Parker was a good cop. He cared about the neighborhood—hell, he’d have married Frankie if she wasn’t so in love with Ridge. Ridge had saved Parker’s life, and that, plus how much they both respected Frankie, put Parker on our side. Our side was also on the side of a safe Stickney Forest, even though our methods were as different as night and day.
We cut the engines and waited for the last phase of the operation.
The dozen members of Bane were beat up, bikeless, and for now, leaderless. This was us serving them up to the cops on a silver platter.
“Yep, we’re going to seal it off, make sure your guys come in on the North Side. No, no firearms. We took care of that. They’re only armed with stupidity.”
Ridge finished the call and motioned to us to finish the job.
I opened the back of the truck and cut the bastards loose one at a time.
None ran out. They may be stupid, but they knew there were Great Wolves everywhere.
“You’re free to go.”
Slowly, they all filed out of the truck.
“What the actual fuck is your game?” asked Gooch, who had been hauled in by Titus. They were beat. And our game was getting them off the streets of Stickney Forest.
“I’m assuming that’s rhetorical.”
I hopped down, closed up the truck and hit it, so A.C. knew it was time to roll.
Headlights dotted the perimeter at regular intervals. In that moment, it really did look like a pack of fucking wolves, hovering in a circle around this group of fucking weaker losers.
I didn’t look back. I made my way to my own bike with a high degree of fucking swagger. Any one of them could have rushed me. But I fucking dared them to try.
I got on my bike and joined the line of my brothers. We were far enough away to be out of the fray, but close enough for Bane to understand what would happen if they bolted.
“Kill the engines and the lights.” We did as instructed, and the rumble of the Harleys stopped abruptly. For a moment, it was silence. There was confusion up ahead where the scrum of Bane members wrestled with indecision on what we were going to do.
I heard one of them yell that they should run, that we were going to shoot them all.
That wasn’t our fucking style, not one bit.
In the distance, there was a new sound, the sound of sirens.
We watched as the red and blue lights got closer and closer.
“Let’s go,” Ridge said, and we revved up again, and followed him. We drove away from the South Mercy and back into the neighborhood.
I felt a major satisfaction in what we’d just done.
I was back in the fold. I was there to be sure the Great Wolves were strong. I was there to be sure to deal with it if anyone was stupid enough to mess with Brogan.
And, I hoped, I’d earned back Ridge’s trust.
We’d done some headbanging, sure, but not one member of Bane was really hurt.
Ridge had played a longer game. He’d gotten evidence against Bane. He’d handled the frustration when the evidence didn’t produce an arrest.
And he’d led us in a plan to make sure the police could finish the job.
Bane was gutted in Stickney Forest, again. And they’d paid for the bullshit they’d been causing.
And I had learned my fucking lesson. Going off for my individual revenge because of what Gooch had done to Emlyn felt like something I had to do at the time. But I should have trusted that the club was going to make sure the revenge would last a lot longer than my kicking the shit out of him.
Trust. That was what I was risking, every single time I kissed Em.
I was ruining the trust with Brogan.
My life was at the club. And I’d been putting that on the back burner.
I fucking didn’t know how to quit Emlyn.
But I knew I could never quit the Great Wolves.
The cops had most of Bane.
And Emlyn had all of my heart.
It had to end.
I had to stop thinking of what I wanted first. It always led to trouble.
As we rode back to the club, the selfish part of me receded. And the part that knew I was only good in the M.C. and no good for Em solidified.
Brogan road beside me. I realized he was right about his sister.
I couldn’t make her happy. And, ultimately, I hadn’t kept her safe.
A black spot in my heart grew. But tough shit.
Em deserved a better life, a rich boyfriend, and whatever Brogan wanted for her.
I wanted that too.
Eighteen
Emlyn
The word spread fast throughout the gigantic HQ building.
The lockdown was lifted! That was the best news in the world. I was going to be able to go back to my adorable little bungalow!
A lot of the Old Ladies, family, girlfriends, and such had broken out the drinks for the return of the bikers.
I was glad that they were coming back. But part of me wondered about Brogan and Kase. What had they done?
Why hadn’t either one of them said a word to me about it?
Brogan had kept me away from the M.C., but it was the opposite now. I was in the heart of it. They should have told me something. I hated not knowing. And at the same time, I was relieved that they’d finished the job. I was relieved for all of them.
I knew most of the members. I loved one.
Crap, yes, I loved Kase.
I smiled to myself. I had committed the ultimate sister violation. I crossed Brogan’s line with Kase and now I was doing a dance on it.
The bikers filed in and were greeted by hugs, beer, cheers, and a full-blown party.
Though the party was underway in the club, I stayed on the outskirts a bit. Waiting to see with my own eyes that my brother and my secret boyfriend were okay.
I saw Kase first, and my heart leaped. It was amazing the way admitting to myself what I really felt for him had freed me even more.
Brogan showed up next, and the two of them received a lot of pats on the arm. There were congratulations and the music was pumping.
Frankie had supplied the place with a perfect post Bane ass-kicking party. Who knew there was proper food and drink pairings for such an occasion?
I was uneasy about the violence and being in the dark about what had gone down, but that was going to have to be a part of it going forward with Kase.
I would learn to live with that.
Brogan came up to me and gave me a hug. He wasn’t a hugger, so I took them when I could.
“So, I hear you took care of the situation. Bane is banished?” I asked and handed him a beer.
He cracked it open and took a swig.
“Banished, or at least cut off at the knees. They’re done terrorizing this neighborhood. Most of ‘em will be locked up again for a good long time.”
“Can I go back home?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course.”
“Great. I’m all packed.”
“Thanks for being patient about this. I know it’s not your scene.”
“No, it was, okay. Surprisingly okay.”
“Hey, you should have seen this guy. He kicked ass,” Brogan said, and he grabbed Kase around the neck. Kase looked embarrassed or distracted. Something was off. If we could only get away from Brogan and the rest of the M.C., I could find out what.
“Aw shucks,” Kase said and he laughed with Brogan. They really were a pair. They were bonded. It made me feel good to know that Kase and Brogan were out there, keeping each other safe. They were the most important people in the world to me.
“Uh, so, as much fun as this is, can I get on home?”
“Yeah, actually, I’ll drive you,” Brogan said, and I tried not to let the disappointment show on my face. I wanted Kase to take me, but I guess, if Bane wasn’t an issue anymore, I didn’t need a bodyguard.
“Brogan, over here! Question for you,” Ridge called to him across the room. Brogan did what Ridge needed when Ridge needed it.
“Uh, oh, sorry, duty calls.”
“It’s cool. I’ll drive her.” Kase stepped in, casually like it was almost a chore. I laughed inside and his darn fine acting job.
“Okay, catch you later, Kase. And make sure she locks up.”
Brogan left Kase and me alone.
“We can take the car in the shop.”
“Let’s not, let’s take your bike. I like holding on to you.” I did, and we were Brogan-approved for this trip. No need to sneak around.
“Fine,” Kase said. Maybe something happened out there that rattled him?
We went out to his bike and he helped me get on.
During the short ride home, I put my head on his back. I inhaled all the masculine smells of him, the solid feel of him. He was my perfect fit somehow.
We got to the house and it made me smile.
“Home sweet home!” I said and jumped off the bike. I looked behind me. Kase wasn’t there. He was lingering on the bike. I worried that maybe he’d been physically hurt when they were out rounding up Bane.
“Hey, baby, you okay?” I dropped my bag and walked back to him on the bike.
“No, not really. I need to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
In the moonlight, Kase’s expression made it seem like he was in pain. It would be like him and my brother to hide an injury. I studied him from head to toe, and I waited.
“We’re done,” he said. No preamble, no explanation, no nothing. Just, we’re done.
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t know how else to say it. You’re not right for me. And I’m not right for you.”
“Wait. I mean, we don’t have to tell Brogan yet. I know I was pushing but, we can take it slow, tell him when we’re both ready.”
“I’m not my best with you. I’m a shit heel. I lie to my brothers. I go off and do shit that puts us all in danger. I’m selfish.”
“I make you a bad person, is that what you’re telling me?” I was offended, hurt, and part of me was a little panicked. He was breaking up with me? I had just given him my heart.
“No, well, yes. You’re not cut out for this.”
“What makes you say that? I haven’t flinched. I got beat up, didn’t call the police. I handled it. I understand the biker life. I mean, I live with Brogan.”
“Fine. I’m not right for you then. I’m not the best person to have at your side with whatever it is you’re doing at the preschool.”
“Whatever it is I’m doing? I’m trying to save Friendly Forest. I’m trying to make a life for the kids here. Same as you.”
“Sorry I lead you on. It was nice. You’re nice. Too nice. Find someone like that banker or some shit.” He started his bike up. The engine roared. He was in a hurry to get away from me.
The bike engine made it too loud for any more of my questions or whatever pathetic arguments I was grasping at.
I had been blindsided. I had been kicked in the gut. It was worse than when I’d actually been kicked in the gut.
Kase rode away and I stood there like an idiot. I turned and went into the house.
And promptly cried for two days.
I did not, however, call him or casually drive by the M.C.
I did not stalk him, though I have to admit, I wanted to.
I got up, got dressed, and got to work.
It was just in time for me to help Wanda inform parents that Friendly Forest was closing, just like all the other local childcare centers.
The devastation of the families mirrored the devastation of my soul right now.
“This can’t be, how can you do this?”
“You’ve been here for decades, now that we need you most you’re leaving?”
“Wanda, we’re going to miss you so much.”
Over and over again, parents swung between anger and sadness. The same emotions that I was feeling too.
“We’re going to be fully closed in one more month.”
One more month and I’d be out of a job.
“Why don’t you go into the city, or move somewhere? Why do you have to stay here?” Wanda asked me one afternoon when I was probably looking as depressed as the parents.
“I don’t know, to be honest with you.”
Slowly, little by little, we were taking down artwork, emptying cubbies, and packing up all the things that make this place special.
Days turned into weeks and went through the motions of losing two dreams at once.
With days left to go before we closed, we were nearly packed up, and my phone buzzed at the end of one of my last shifts at Friendly Forest.
I saw the message, and I had to go.
“Wanda, it’s Mom, I have to go to the facility.”
“Go on, then, see you tomorrow.”
I didn’t want to miss one minute at Friendly Forest since they were dwindling down to nothing, but the Hickory Acres never called me unless there was an emergency with my mom. I took a quick “L” ride to her facility. It was the closest and nicest we could find. It usually took me less than fifteen minutes to get there if the trains were on time.
I ran to the nurse’s desk and gave my name.
“Oh, yes, you are going to be happy. Your mom’s asking for you today!”
“What?”
“Yes, she’s just having a great day, and we wanted you to enjoy it.”
I had a hard time believing she was lucid. It had been over a year since she’d remembered my name. Recently, whenever I told her, she was mad that I wasn’t a little girl. It was easier to just tell her I was a visitor.
I ran back to her room but slowed up when I got to her door. I reminded myself that this could be another tragic encounter. That there was no guarantee that she would remember me.
I walked in, and to my surprise, there she was, with Brogan!
“Oh, wonderful. Both my babies here!” There was a light in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in literally years.
“Mom!” I rushed forward and hugged her. She hugged me and I tried not to cry. I didn’t want her to know how long it had been.
“Brogan was telling me how well he is doing! Do you know he’s an officer in that motorcycle club, and that he’s making good money on his investments? I always knew you were smart, Brogan; people see your muscles and that intimidating outer package. You look like your dad, but you’re not him.” Brogan reached out and put a hand to my mother’s cheek. I’d never realized how much it scared him to think that he could be like our abusive father who abandoned our mother and us. He did look just like our dad, a dad that scared us. Brogan scared a lot of people. I wondered how much that did a number on him. He wasn’t one to share the soft stuff.
“And how is school?” Mom asked me, a big smile on her face.
“Good, Mom, it’s good.” I didn’t tell her that nothing about school was good right now.
“Those little ones are so lucky to have you.” She kissed my hand and I tried
not to break down and cry.
“How about we go to the cafeteria? I hear they made some fresh chocolate chip cookies!”
“Whatever you want, Mom.” Brogan stood up and put out his hand for our Mom. He was so big, so powerful, and yet so damn sweet with her.
“I hope they have cold milk too,” I said and the three of us made our way to the cafeteria.
We spent an hour chatting, laughing, and just reveling in the sunshine that had beamed down in a sliver to warm all of us.
When it was time to go back to her room, Mom was tired but happy.
“I’ll be back soon, okay?” I told my mom and she wasn’t scared or worried. She trusted me that I would be back soon.
“Me too, okay?”
“I know you’re both here, even when I don’t know. You know?”
“Yep.”
She dozed off with a smile on her face.
Outside her room, the nurse told us the doctor had prescribed a new medication and that it had really done well for our Mom. Clearly.
Brogan and I walked out to the parking lot and, for a moment, neither one of us talked.
We just basked in the fact that Mom was okay, at least for today.
“Wow,” Brogan said and that was really the only word for it.
“Yeah.”
My heart was full and the sadness I’d felt since Kase had dumped me lifted a bit.
Brogan looked at me and he looked lighter too.
“You know sis, you can go, I’m here now. You handled Mom when I couldn’t and it’s my turn, more than my turn.”
“Go?”
“The daycare’s closing, you’re going to be out of a job. There’s no job in your field in our old neighborhood. I got Mom. Go spread your wings, little sister.”
This was the second time today I had been told to leave Stickney Forest. Maybe I should. I had put in my time taking care of Mom when Brogan couldn’t.
“Maybe, I will. I guess I have a lot to think about.”
Brogan wrapped me in a near smothering hug and we went our separate ways.
Him, on some mission for the Great Wolves; me, back to an empty house and a lot of decisions that needed to be made.
Nineteen
Kase