by Zoe Matthews
“Pa…,” Jess said, dragging out his name, but he could hear the smile in her voice. “I like Miss Carter.” Her voice was soft.
Austin didn’t like what he was hearing. He knew Jess missed having a mother, even though she didn’t have many memories of her own mother. He hoped she wouldn’t become close to Miss Carter. Jess was only going to be hurt when she left in two months.
“She’s very pretty.”
“Yes, she is, but is she tough?” Austin asked as he encouraged his horse to go a bit faster. He had to help Jess face the facts. “How many times have I told you that there isn’t any use in being pretty?”
“Yes, Pa, I know. A person has to be strong to survive on this land.”
Austin was glad she understood what he was trying to teach her. They turned towards their property. He loved this farm. He would do anything to keep this place going and he would teach Jess how to handle the hard things in life. “Why don’t you go into the house? I need to unsaddle Cash.”
A few minutes later, he went into the house, wanting to grab a snack before heading out to finish his work in the fields. He noticed that his daughter was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of milk. She had taken off her cowboy hat and she looked at him as if asking him if he noticed anything.
And he did notice that his daughter had her hair done up in two braids with red ribbons at each end. For the first time, even though Jess was only nine years old, he could see hints of beauty given to her by her mother.
“Hair ribbons. Where did you get them?” he asked her.
“Miss Carter gave them to me. She gave some ribbons to all the girls. Helen braided my hair.”
“Do you like your hair braided?”
Jess nodded. “They help keep my hair out of my face.”
“I’m sorry, Jess, but tomorrow you need to give the hair ribbons back.” His heart dropped when Jess’s face fell in disappointment.
“Do I have to?”
“How many times do I have to tell you? You will only survive out here if you are strong. Don’t you want to be strong?”
“Yes, Pa.”
“We are going to succeed out here, you and I.”
“Yes, Pa.”
Now put those ribbons with your school books so they don’t get dirty. Hurry and do your chores.”
He watched as she ran out the door, her eyes telling him that she was determined to be strong, just as he was teaching her.
“Hold on, Jess,” he called out to her as he followed her. “I have to finish the crops in the far field. Uncle Chris is going to be coming any day now to help. I won’t be in until dark. Will you be okay by yourself?”
“Of course, Pa,” Jess scoffed as if offended that he would ask that question.
“Good.” Austin reached out and hugged her.
“Just remember to tell me good night, even if I am already sleeping,” she reminded him.
“I won’t forget. Remember to bang on the old tin pan if you need me.”
“I know, Pa,” she scoffed again at the daily reminder, but she smiled up at him, shading her eyes from the sunshine.
He hated leaving her for so long, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped. He had so much to do before winter hit. He watched as Jess walked towards the hen house to gather eggs. He felt very blessed that he had Jess in his life.
Late that evening, after dark had covered the entire valley, he went into the house. Jess had already gone to bed. He shook her awake to tell her good night as promised. She smiled at him, then snuggled back under the covers. Her hair was still in the braids. He pulled the covers up around her and looked around her room.
Dirty clothes were strewn on the floor. Most likely the clothes she had worn today had been dirty before she even put them on that morning. He knew his own room looked the same. He just didn’t have time to do laundry. It would have to wait until after the crops were in. The house was a mess. From what he could tell, Jess had eaten some bread and an apple for dinner. He wondered if a neighboring woman would be willing to teach Jess a few things about cooking and bread baking. After all, she was nine years old, old enough to learn a few things about keeping a house and making meals.
***
Right before school started the following day, Lizzie saw Jess and her father ride into the school yard again. He rode right up to her and helped Jess drop to the ground. Lizzie noticed that she still had her braids in from the day before, although the ribbons were not tied to the ends.
“Give them back to her, Jess,” he gruffly ordered his daughter.
She watched as Jessica stuck her hand into her pants pocket and pulled out the ribbons. She held them out to Lizzie. “Here are your ribbons. Thanks for letting me borrow them.” Jessica said the words softly and glanced at Lizzie as if hoping she would understand.
Lizzie didn’t take them from Jessica, but she did look up at her father. “I gave them to Jessica. I gave ribbons to all the girls yesterday. “
“Jess doesn’t need ribbons. Ribbons aren’t needed in mountain country. Not if she wants to be strong.”
Lizzie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “How does ribbons in a girl’s hair make her weak?” she challenged him.
“It’s what they mean, what they represent.”
“I am not sure what you are saying,” Lizzie admitted.
“Ribbons are useless things.”
“Ribbons are pretty. They aren’t useless. They make someone feel beautiful, like a rainbow or a flower.”
Mr. Perry looked confused, as if trying to figure out how a rainbow could be useful. “You can’t eat ribbons.” He nodded to Jessica. “Give her the ribbons, Jess, and go on and play.”
Lizzie accepted the ribbons, knowing Jessica was being put in the middle of their argument, and she didn’t want the child to be put in that uncomfortable position. After Jessica left, she looked at Austin square in the eyes. “Are you saying a rainbow, which is a creation from God, is useless?”
Mr. Perry looked squarely back at her. “Me and Jess, we are survivors.” He turned his horse and galloped off towards his home.
Lizzie watched as he left, her fists clenched at her sides. Survivors! Is that why he treated Jessica like a boy? She made a vow to herself she would help Jessica as much as she could while she was in her classroom. She would do her best to teach Jessica, among all her academic subjects, that it was a joy to be a girl.
For the rest of the week, Mr. Perry brought Jessica to school and picked her up afterwards. Every time he picked her up, he would look at Lizzie as if warning her to not interfere with the raising of his daughter. But it only made her more determined to help Jessica any way she could. Every morning when Lizzie said her prayers, she asked for an opening, knowing that God would provide one in His own time.
On Friday, that opening happened. After school was over, Lizzie stayed late and cleaned the school house. After sweeping it and wiping down the chalkboard, she gathered her things and locked the door until Monday. When she started towards Hannah’s place, she noticed a small form sitting under a tree. Lizzie saw that it was Jessica, with her arms wrapped around her legs as if trying to make herself as small as she could.
“Jessica, why are you still here? Isn’t your father picking you up today?” she asked the child.
Jessica shook her head. “Pa said I should walk home today.”
“Where do you live?” Lizzie asked her.
“A ways past the Fosters’ farm.”
Lizzie smiled. “Well, you are in luck. I live at the Atkins’ farm.”
“Really?” Jessica asked curiously.
“Yes, I am friends with Hannah and Chase.” She held out her hand. “So, since I am heading that direction, we can walk together.”
Jessica’s face split into a large grin. They started down the dirt road.
“Are you enjoying school this year?” Lizzie asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Yes, I think I like math the best.” Jessica had dropped Lizzie’s hand an
d was skipping beside her.
“You are a good worker.”
“Pa says everyone has to pull their weight and do what they can in these mountains.”
“I guess that is true in most of the places people live in,” Lizzie commented. She wanted to know how Jessica felt about the fact that she was a girl, so Lizzie added, “It doesn’t matter whether you are a boy or a girl. You can always do your part.”
“Pa says women have to be strong out here, that weak women won’t make it.”
Lizzie did her best to push down her disgust for the man. Didn’t he know that women exhibited strength in different ways? She wanted to be the one to show him that, but she knew she needed to do her best to avoid him. He reminded her too much of her own pa.
“Tell me, why you didn’t leave to go home with the other children?” Lizzie asked the girl, changing the subject.
Jessica stopped her skipping and almost slowed to a stop. Lizzie took the child’s hand again and squeezed it.
“It’s okay, Jessica. You can tell me.” She waited patiently while Jessica made up her mind.
“I don’t like to walk home,” she whispered, her chin hanging to her chest as if ashamed.
“Why? Haven’t you done it before?”
Jessica nodded but pulled her hand out of Lizzie’s. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I can tell something is wrong. Why don’t you tell me what it is, and maybe I can fix it.”
“You won’t be able to do anything.”
Lizzie stayed silent and just waited.
“It’s the Fosters’ dog. He’s real mean and barks a lot,” Jessica finally admitted. She said the words very soft and Lizzie almost didn’t hear them.
“I know the Fosters,” Lizzie started to walk again and was glad when Jessica followed. “I don’t like their dog very much either. They live between the Atkins’ place and yours, don’t they?”
Jessica nodded but then looked at her with a strong determination in her eyes. “I’m not afraid of him.”
Lizzie instantly made up her mind and changed her plans for the afternoon. “I am planning on visiting all of my students at their homes. Why don’t I come to your home today? This would be a good time for me to visit.”
Jessica looked at Lizzie as if she was making sure Lizzie was serious. “I would like that.”
They continued to walk along the dusty road. There was a nice breeze in the air that cooled the heat of the sun that shone down on them. It was a very pleasant day. Lizzie had only been in Montana for a short while, but already she was learning to love her new home. She loved to watch the mountains nearby. The colors on them changed according to the time of day. Sometimes she could see individual trees. At dusk, they looked almost purple. When it stormed, the clouds would cover the tips which made them look mysterious.
Jessica chattered while they walked. They passed Hannah’s farm and continued down the road. Suddenly, Jessica stopped her talking and started to walk very slowly.
“This is where the Fosters live, isn’t it?” Lizzie asked her.
Lizzie had seen the dog Jessica talked about before, but he was always tied to the barn by a rope. The dog would lunge and bark like crazy and she knew that if he was off the rope, he would be scary if he approached her. He was a very large dog, almost as big as Jessica.
Jessica started to walk very softly, almost as if she was tiptoeing. “If we are very quiet, maybe he won’t know we are here,” she whispered quietly.
Lizzie followed her, making sure her body was between the child and the Fosters’ farm. Suddenly, a large black dog ran towards them, snarling and barking. It was not tied up. Lizzie knew Jessica had a good reason to be scared of this dog, for she felt fear jump to her throat as well.
“There he is! He’s going to bite us!” Jessica hid behind Lizzie’s skirts.
Suddenly, Lizzie became angry. She wasn’t going to let this dog hurt Jessica or herself. “Stop!” She yelled, waving her hands. “Go away!”
A whistle pierced the air. “Buster, get back here right now!” Mr. Foster was standing on his porch yelling at the dog. He whistled again. The dog stopped in its tracks only about six feet away from them, still growling, but then turned and ran to his owner. Lizzie breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn’t breathe or speak. She did her best to not let Jessica know how frightened she was. She needed to be strong for the child.
“Does that dog run at you every time you walk by?” she was finally able to ask, trying to keep her voice steady.
Jessica shook her head. “Sometimes he’s tied up.”
Lizzie made up her mind to talk to Jessica’s father. It was obvious she was very afraid of the dog. In her opinion, no child should have to be afraid of walking home from school. They continued walking, although Jessica was very subdued.
“There’s my farm,” Jessica said with pride in her voice, pointing to a well-kept house.
The house was larger than Lizzie had expected, although it was smaller than Hannah’s home, especially since they had just added onto their house. She was glad to see Jessica wasn’t living in a shack or even a sod home. As they walked closer, she could see a hen house and a fenced area that she guessed was a garden, although all she could see growing were weeds. She noticed a fenced field with a few horses in it, with a smaller field nearby that had a couple cows. She could tell that the farm had potential.
Seeing Jessica’s farm brought back memories of her past. She remembered following her brother around on their farm in Ohio, and Debbie following her. Her father’s farm was larger than this one. She remembered as a child avoiding her father as much as possible because she knew he didn’t want her or Debbie around. After all, they weren’t boys and couldn’t grow up to do work on the farm. But she watched her father constantly, hoping that he would smile at her like he had before her mother died, that he would somehow say something to let her know he still loved her and Debbie, even though they were girls. She quickly pushed away the past. What good does it do, remembering what couldn’t be changed?
“Why don’t you show me your house?” Lizzie suggested to Jessica. The child smiled at her, grabbed her hand and started to run, leaving Lizzie no choice but to run quickly after her.
When they entered the house, Lizzie did her best to stifle a gasp at the mess she saw before her. The house was small in size. The largest room seemed to be the living, kitchen, and dining area all in one. Dirty dishes covered every space of the table and counters. The stove had various pots and pans that were blackened with burnt food. In the living area, clothing was draped over the sofa and floor surfaces. She could see overalls and plaid shirts that were Jessica’s size, along with a large winter coat and dirty boots in the corner.
Lizzie wondered how they were even managing to live in such a mess. How did they prepare meals? At the back of the large room, she saw a small hallway that had two doors which she assumed opened into bedrooms. Even though she couldn’t see inside the rooms, she would bet that the bedrooms were as messy as the rest of the small house.
Lizzie immediately wanted to start cleaning up the mess. One thing that she had been taught by “The Sisters” was “cleanliness is next to Godliness.” Their boarding house had been extremely clean at all times. Dust was never allowed to settle longer than a few hours and a dirty dish was washed almost immediately after use. Maybe she could show Jessica how to do a few things, especially how to cook a simple meal. She knew without asking that Jessica’s father would object if she started to clean up the mess without his permission.
“Jess,” she heard a deep voice calling from the yard outside.
“Remember, don’t tell Pa about the dog,” Jessica whispered as she grabbed Lizzie’s hand. Lizzie didn’t say anything for she felt Austin needed to be aware of what was going on with the neighbor’s dog.
“You need to tell him, Jessica, so he can do something about it,” Lizzie told her.
“I can’t. Pa says I need to be strong. If I tell him, I won’t be strong
. Promise me you won’t tell.”
Lizzie shook her head. “I promise I won’t tell him if you promise you will. I really think he needs to know.”
Jessica fiercely shook her head, but then slowly nodded when she could tell Lizzie wasn’t going to give in. “Okay, I’ll tell him.”
Austin came into the house almost at a run. “Why are you so late? Where have you been?” he asked Jessica but he looked at Lizzie as if accusing her that Jessica being late was her fault. “Why are you here?”
“She wants to visit all the families of the children who go to school. I get to be first,” Jessica announced proudly.
Austin looked suspicious at his daughter’s words. “That still doesn’t explain why Jess is late.”