Colin nodded. "We ate grouse this morn."
They made their way down to the great hall, where dozens of people were gathered to eat. Colin joined Neacal at the high table, then he met Cyrus's brother, Shamus, who had married Neacal's sister.
Though Colin was hungry, his stomach ached with worry for Kristina and he could not get his mind off her. He ate, but did not taste much of the food. Some of the MacDonalds and MacKenzies acted out their final confrontation with Holme, showing the rest of the clan how things had played out, and providing entertainment. As those playing Holme and his men fled like terrified rabbits, laughter filled the great hall. But Colin could not join in their merriment. Even though he was thankful Kristina was safe and behind castle walls, he was still highly concerned over her head injury and how hard Holme had struck her.
He was glad when Anna joined them for a few minutes and reported that Kristina was resting well. Tavia was having Kristina drink an herbal tea and was preparing a small poultice for the bruise on her face.
After they'd finished eating and Anna had returned to Kristina's room, Neacal asked, "How about some whisky?"
"Aye." Colin was tired of the noise in the great hall, where a multitude of people talked all at once. It amplified the chaos inside him.
In the solar, Neacal poured two small glasses of whisky and offered him one, the amber liquid glinting in the firelight. "To Lady Kristina's good health."
Colin lifted his glass. "I'll drink to that." When he swallowed, the liquid provided a nice burn all the way down his throat to his stomach. Then they took seats near the hearth.
"Are you well?" Neacal eyed him. "I see that bruise on your forehead."
"Aye, 'tis naught." His own scratches and bruises didn't bother him. "I simply wish I hadn't allowed Holme to take her from me and injure her." Colin explained what had happened in the cave, when he'd been knocked into the river and washed downstream.
"You're lucky to have survived that, and I'm certain she'll be well in no time. Have faith."
Colin nodded. "I'm trying but… greatly concerned." He didn't ken why he couldn't release his worry over her. Was it a bad omen? Nay, that was nonsense. Kristina had to recover. He would accept naught else.
"Do I detect something else going on here?" his friend asked.
Colin shrugged, truly not wanting to discuss something he didn't understand and didn't want to feel.
Staring into the fire, Neacal sipped his whisky. "You can trust me, you know. I'll tell no one."
"I… have developed a fondness for her," Colin admitted, his heart thudding harder. "Although 'tis not something I wanted or expected to feel."
"I ken how that is."
"She's remarkable." Colin shook his head. "For someone so small, vulnerable and blind, she has an incredible strength of spirit. She's so bright, canny and resourceful."
Neacal sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, still staring absently at the fire. "She and Anna must be alike in many ways."
Colin nodded and took another swallow of peaty whisky. "Kristina has been through hell already, and then for her to sustain this head injury… I blame myself."
Neacal turned to him, frowning. "Nay, you should not. You rescued her from Holme, Blackburn and the battle. If not for your actions, where would she be now? Probably dead. You must give yourself credit."
Colin tried to make himself believe Neacal was right. He had likely saved her life, though he had no way of knowing if she truly would've been killed in the battle. With two brutes like Blackburn and Holme in charge of her, she would've had little hope of survival without his intervention. Maybe if he told himself that over and over, he would start believing it. Now, if only she would recover quickly.
"Cyrus said Blackburn was killed," Colin said.
"Aye."
"'Tis a relief that he can never hurt Kristina or Anna again."
Neacal nodded. "He got what he asked for."
"I'm furious that Holme got away." Rage burning in his chest, Colin ground his teeth.
"Do you think he will be back?"
"I'm sure he still wants revenge against me."
"Why?"
Colin realized he hadn't yet told Neacal of Holme's real identity; he'd told his own men and Cyrus. "His true name is MacKillican."
"What?" The intensity of Neacal's blue eyes bored into him. "The same clan of traitors the Camerons defeated many years ago?"
"Aye."
"He has a strong motive for revenge."
Colin nodded. "When he saw me, he must have remembered my face. He confronted me and revealed his identity when we fought in the outer cave."
"Why did he not go back to Rhodie Castle and attempt revenge years ago?"
"I've wondered. Mayhap because he knew he would be severely outnumbered. Or because the king declared him and his few remaining clansmen outlaws when they fled. As for now, I'm thinking he was seizing an opportunity upon finding me out in the wood without many men around."
"With that sort of motive, he will not give up easily."
Chapter Nine
Pain drummed within Kristina's head, tensing every muscle in her body. She pressed her fist against her forehead, tears burning her eyes. "The tea is not helping!" she sobbed.
"Shh, my sweet sister, you must relax back and let me bathe your face in cold water," Anna whispered.
"We need more cold cloths to put on her head," Tavia said.
Kristina heard water splashing and then another cool cloth was draped across the top of her head.
As she relaxed and held perfectly still, the pain lessened a tiny amount. It was not quite so excruciating now. She willed it away and told herself she felt better. The thought of Colin drifted into her mind—his deep, soothing voice. She wished he were here now.
"The second cup of willow bark and poppy tea is steeped and cool enough." Tavia's voice moved closer.
"I'll help her drink it. Lean up a wee bit." Anna touched her shoulder.
Kristina did not want to move but she leaned up. The pain throbbed harder. She forced herself to drink as much of the honey-sweetened herbal tea as she could, then lay back again.
After the pain simmered down, Kristina took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're well, Anna. I worried Blackburn would hurt you."
"Blackburn is dead," Anna said with cold finality. "You never have to worry over him again."
Kristina had never been glad to hear of anyone's death before, but Blackburn was the exception. He had near destroyed her life and Anna's. They were safe now.
Kristina relaxed, her mind drifting, as if on a cloud, away from the pain.
She did not even realize she was sleeping until she awoke to the sound of Anna's voice. "Looks like she's waking."
Someone placed a fresh, cool compress on her forehead and eyes again.
"Anna?" she whispered, wishing the pounding in her head would cease, though thankfully it had improved.
"Aye, dear sister. How are you feeling?" Anna rubbed her shoulder.
"My head still aches but not as bad."
"You can sleep more if you wish. I'll stay here with you." Anna held her hand and stroked it. Although Kristina wanted to argue about sleeping more, she found she could not resist drifting off again.
Later, a sound awoke her. She sensed someone nearby. The room was warm and cozy and smelled of food, which did not appeal.
"Oh, good. You're awake again. Are you hungry?" Anna asked.
"Nay." Her stomach ached with queasiness.
"Colin told me it has been a long while since you've eaten much more than a piece of roasted grouse, so you need to eat something. At least a few sips of this broth."
Oh, she truly did not want it, but she knew she would have to force it down in order to recover. "Very well."
"Colin is very concerned about you. He asks about you every half hour."
"Indeed?" Kristina's face heated, and her heart rate sped up. Was he truly that worried about her? "He's a kind man."
Anna helped
her lean up to drink a sip of the warm and salty chicken broth. "And—in case you're wondering—Colin is handsome."
Kristina almost choked but forced herself to swallow, then coughed.
"Careful." Anna helped her to lie on her side.
Kristina had known Colin was gorgeous, maybe from the impressions she'd gotten when her fingers had taken the measure of his facial bone structure, or maybe she knew from instinct. Regardless, she did not wish Anna to know of her intense feelings for him. It was all too new and unfamiliar. She had already accepted, ages ago, that no man would ever be interested in her, and now she found it hard to believe Colin might be. Surely it was just a side effect of their being in a dangerous and frightening situation together.
"Did you hear what I said?" Anna asked.
"Aye, but since I cannot see Colin, his looks are of little importance. What of Neacal?" she asked, hoping to get the conversation off herself and Colin.
"Neacal is extremely handsome and I love him. He's such a caring man," she said softly, with much emotion. "He saved my life, more than once."
Alarmed that her sister had been in danger, Kristina frowned. "What happened? Were you hurt?"
"Nay, I'm fine. I'll tell you about it later, once you're well. For now, you must focus on getting your strength back."
"Very well. Will you marry Neacal?"
"Aye. Now that you're back, we can proceed with the wedding plans." The joy in Anna's voice was evident and it increased Kristina's own good cheer.
"I'm so happy for you. I have not even met him yet, really. Although I did hear him shouting from the battlements when first I arrived here. He sounds like a strong, commanding chief."
"He is, and he helped Colin by carrying you up here to this room when you first arrived. Do you remember?"
"Nay. I must thank him, then."
"When you're ready, I'll bring him in so you can talk to him."
"I can tell much about a person by their voice. And, at the moment, I can tell you're happier than you've been in over two years."
"'Tis true. Neacal brings me great joy and peace."
Kristina felt comfort and satisfaction for her sister. "After all you've been through, you deserve someone wonderful. You are indeed fortunate and blessed."
"As are you," Anna returned quickly.
"To have been rescued from the brigands, aye."
"And to have such an attractive and wonderful man as Colin Cameron looking at you the way he does." Anna's voice was teasing and playful.
Although delight brightened Kristina's emotions for a moment, some dark part of her squashed it down. "Since I cannot see, I'll never know, will I?"
"But you will find out about the feelings behind those looks."
Or mayhap she already had, if his kiss was any indication. Still, she missed her sight and missed seeing people's facial expressions. Her curiosity got the best of her. "How does he look at me?" she asked quietly.
"As no man has ever gazed at you before, sister—at least, no man I have observed. As if… you are a star-filled night sky, or a heather-swathed glen in summer. Or a bright rainbow over a loch."
When Kristina imagined a man looking at her thusly, as if she were beautiful, her heart ached. How could he possibly? She had felt the scar on her face many times. It was rough and jagged and people had told her it was a harsh ruddy color. "'Haps your eyes are playing tricks on you. Besides, it matters not." Kristina had to make sure it didn't matter. She had to protect herself from heartbreak. If she let herself believe Colin truly was smitten with her, and then he changed his mind and decided he couldn't tolerate her looks or deal with her blindness, she would be devastated.
Anna blew out an annoyed puff of air. "How can you say that? Do you not like Colin?"
"I like him well enough." 'Twas a grand understatement but Anna did not need to know of her feelings.
"Well enough?" Anna asked doubtfully.
"I only just met him."
"We shall see, won't we?"
"You will." Kristina found it slightly irritating how many sight expressions people used which she could no longer relate to.
"You ken what I mean. We will find out what happens. Mayhap he will want to marry you."
To counteract the sudden leap of her heart, Kristina snorted. "Come now, Anna. Surely 'tis not so dark in this room that you cannot see I still possess the scar upon my face. I hold no illusions that a handsome man would want to marry me."
"Do you think a scar matters? Neacal has many scars, as well. A larger one on his face than you have. And many scars on his body. I find him gorgeous beyond measure."
"We both ken 'tis acceptable and even admirable for a warrior to have scars. But for a woman, 'tis different."
"Regardless, you are a beautiful lass."
"Colin told me he will become a chief one day. He will want a beautiful and perfect wife, one who can see and attend to the duties of lady of the castle. One his people will admire, not ridicule."
"Nonsense. Someone can easily be hired to help with running the castle. And everyone I know admires you."
"I don't wish to speak of this." 'Twas too painful to think about, for she knew, no matter how much she would love to be Colin's wife, neither he nor his clan would find her suitable, with her many flaws and incapacities. She had been a great burden to him out in the wilds of the Highlands. It mortified her that he'd had to wait on her hand and foot. He would want a strong, capable wife.
"Very well." Anna sounded subdued. "Would you allow me to feed you this broth?"
"Mayhap in a little while." Kristina turned over and pulled the covers up to her ears.
She was thankful to be safe behind these castle walls. But now what? All she thought about was Colin, and she couldn't have him. He might think he wanted her now, but he would change his mind once he realized how difficult she would make his life. Tears dripped from her eyes into the pillow. She craved sleep, so she could briefly escape the hand she'd been dealt, the blindness. For when she slept, she had visual dreams. Even though some of them were frightening, she still treasured being able to see inside her dreams.
When the rumble of masculine voices awoke her, she did not know how long she'd been sleeping. She lay perfectly still and listened.
"She is sleeping," Anna said softly.
"I can sit with her for a while," Colin said, his voice rough and sensual. "You and Neacal get some rest."
"Maybe for a few minutes, but I don't wish to go to bed right now."
"Very well."
"A quarter hour," Anna said.
"Aye."
My, wasn't Anna being motherly, Kristina thought. But her main concern right now was that she likely looked even worse than usual. Her hair had not been brushed in days. Her face was swollen… but what did she care? Colin had already seen her at her worst. Still, mortification burned over her, for she did not feel attractive before a man she was incredibly drawn to.
Anna's footsteps receded, and the door closed.
Although it was clear Colin was trying to be quiet, his boots clomped across the floor behind her. A heated tension burned over her. She recalled what Anna had said about the way he looked at her. Was he gazing at her thusly now? She would give anything to have her sight back so she might see him. Her heart pounded hard at his nearness. The chair beside the bed squeaked as he sat down.
"You're not asleep," he murmured, slightly amused. "Are you?"
How did he know? She frowned and turned over to face him. "Your clunking boots awakened me."
He blew out a short breath, almost as if he might be smiling. "How do you feel?"
"My head still pains me."
"I'm sorry." His voice darkened. "I blame myself for your injuries."
The guilt in his voice dug at her heart. "Nay. 'Twas not your fault."
"I should've protected you better."
He was so kind and heroic, he wriggled his way into her soul. "You did protect me, Colin. You saved my life. Without you… I wouldn't be here." Sh
e closed her eyes against the burning tears that flooded them. "I cannot express my gratitude enough." Her voice caught.
He lifted her hand and kissed the back.
"Why would you risk your life in such a way?" she asked. "You didn't even know me when first you took me from Holme."
Colin was silent for a long moment. "When Anna and Neacal spoke of you… when they told me what had happened to you in the past, about your injuries and what Blackburn had done to you, I simply wanted to help."
"You pitied me as everyone else does."
"Nay. 'Twas the opposite, in fact. I admired your mettle. A lesser woman would not have survived what you have. You have amazing strength of spirit."
"No more amazing than you. Look at what you risked for me."
The door opened and the footsteps of two people entered.
"I've returned," Anna said in a bright tone. "And I've brought Neacal with me. You said you wished to meet him, officially."
"Aye." Kristina's face burned, for she looked so disheveled. Surely she should be upright and composed when meeting a chief.
"'Tis a pleasure to meet you, Lady Kristina." Neacal took her hand into his roughened one and kissed the back. "Are you feeling better?" he asked in a deep voice with a Western Highlands accent much like Colin's.
"Wonderful to meet you, chief. I still have pain but 'tis not as bad."
"I'm glad. And please call me Neacal."
"I will, if you will call me Kristina. I understand we will soon be family… when you marry my sister."
"Indeed, and I look forward to it."
"Why do you wish to marry her?"
In the moment of silence, Kristina realized her question must have startled Neacal. But in the absence of their parents or any other family member, she was the only one left to make certain he would be a good husband to her sister.
"Truth be told, Anna first enchanted me and drew me under her spell with her song," Neacal said. "And now… she is my life. I know not if I could survive without her."
Kristina heard the adoration in his deep, soulful voice and it touched her profoundly. Neacal's love for Anna was palpable and obvious within the room's atmosphere. She had never realized she could feel such a thing before, between others.
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