by Melle Amade
“Doubts about the bloodline?” Dad mutters, but no one else hears him. I’m glad. The last thing I need is my parents finding out I’m a nuvervel.
“What the Order decides isn’t usually very good.” Aiden pulls at his sleeve. “We’re giving you a chance.”
“A chance to run away?” Mom’s pacing stops. She looks at Callum like he’s crazy. “To leave my child here and not protect her?”
“We’re asking you to protect Henry,” Aiden grips his hands on the table. “You can trust us to take care of Shae.”
“It’s easier if we only have one to worry about,” Callum explains. “We will be able to focus on Shae and not worry about sending Ravensgaard to protect the three of you.”
“I thought the Ravensgaard served the Order.” Dad’s been leaning against the wall. His hand wrapped around the handle of his Bowie knife. “So, how are they going to protect us or Shae against them; the group you serve?”
“We serve Lord Van Arend,” Callum says.
“And my father’s primary goal is to protect the shifters in his Muiderkring from anybody that would harm them, including the Order.” Aiden offers the words slowly, like a secret.
“We just need to leave.” Mom gazes at Dad. “You, me, and the kids. Both of them.”
Dad stands in the silence of the room. “No.” The word sinks like a stone into the quiet.
There are few times when Dad makes the final decisions in our family, but this is one of those times. We hold our breaths not sure what he’s decided. Everyone stares at him, but his gaze is on Mom.
“Kathy, you’re going to take Henry and go. Period.”
“But th—”
“Don’t.” He holds up his hand as Mom’s gapes. “We have two parents and we have two children, and you’re going to take Henry and follow Zan’s instructions. These kids have always done what was necessary to protect Shae, and I don’t think they’re about to stop now.
“We can’t—” Mom’s eyes bulge, her voice shrill.
In two strides, Dad’s in front of her, one hand on her arm, the other on her chin, lifting her face to his. “It’s the only option. Shae must stand before the Order. Once she debuts, they’ll leave her alone.” Zan and I exchange a look. How does Dad suddenly sound like an expert on the Order? He must have been listening closely to everything we’ve been saying for the last month. “But while she’s going through this,” Dad continues, “I’m not going to let you and Henry endanger yourselves. You need to go.”
“But without you...” Mom’s words tremble and fade in the air. She doesn’t know what to do without him.
I stare in dumb silence, completely caught off guard. My family is about to be split up. I want everybody safe, but I want us together. And that’s not possible. Not right now.
“I think it’s a good solution,” I murmur.
“Shae will do the presentation,” Dad says. “I will be there to help in case anything goes wrong.”
“I don’t–” Callum starts to protest, but Dad cuts him off.
“I will be at the Debut or Shae won’t be there.”
“What can you do?” Mom asks. “You’re not even a shifter.”
Dad takes a step back, a twitch pressing into the corner of his jaw. His hands press together as he cracks his knuckles. “I can look after my daughter.” His words are slow and quiet. It’s probably the closest I’ve ever come to seeing my father angry. “We’re going to manage this my way.” He directs the words to Aiden and Callum. “I will listen to your advice, because I don’t have experience with the Order like you do, but I won’t have any arguments. This is my family.”
“We understand,” says Aiden. “We’re with you on this.”
“So, you understand I’m staying with Shae,” Dad cocks an eyebrow at Aiden.
“Yes,” says Aiden, pushing himself off the counter and moving towards the door.
“Looking after two will be easier than four,” says Callum.
“Where are you taking them?” Dad turns to Zan.
“We won’t be taking them,” Callum explains. “It’d be too obvious. They just need to get in the car and go.”
“Where?” asks Mom.
“North,” says Zan moving next towards Aiden.
“What?” Mom and I ask in unison.
“You drive north,” Callum says. “They have your number, Mrs. Bradfield, and will text you directions. You follow those directions and don’t tell anyone where you’re going. Not even Mr. Bradfield or Shae. None of us can know.”
“We won’t know where they are?” I ask.
Mom looks at Callum, Roman, Aiden, and Zan. “None of you actually know where I’m going do you?” she asks.
Zan’s curls bob as she shakes her head. “That’s the point,” Callum says.
I think of Henry and Mom disappearing into the unknown. “I can’t know at all?” I ask, my voice catching.
Zan’s curls sway over her shoulders like snakes hissing at me. “No,” she says. “It’s a shifter safe house. If anyone knows, it’s not considered safe.”
“It’s just for a short time.” Dad’s voice is like steel.
“Are you sure it’s necessary?” I ask Callum, trying to quell the rising panic that’s moving into my throat. Mom and Henry are going somewhere out there in the world, and I won’t know where they are.
Zan reaches over and clutches my hand. Her fingers are smooth and cool.
“This is a precaution,” Aiden says. “We are just trying to play it safe.”
“What’s going to happen,” Callum says, “is that your mom and brother are going to leave, the Order will arrive shortly, we’ll do the debut. You’ll shift into a raven, the Order will leave, your mom and brother will come back, and everything will be fine.”
My lip curls and fingers clench into balls. “If they’re just going to go and come back, then why do they need to go at all?”
“Stop, Shae.” Aiden uses his alpha voice. It works completely on eagles, but not on other species. But, when I hear it, I know it’s a command. It makes my teeth grind.
“We’ll make it through this, Shae,” Dad says. I whip my head around to look at him. There’s something odd in his voice that I don’t quite understand. His blue eyes are big, bright, and calm. “We’ve decided what we’re going to do, and this is how it’s going to be.”
“Since when are you with them?” I toss my head towards Aiden and Callum, who have moved into the living room.
“I’m with our family,” Dad says.
The Order will be here soon.
“We have to go,” Zan says, touching my elbow and leading me towards the front door. Her eyes nod towards Mom who stands at the bottom of the stairs to her room. “They have to go.”
“You mean, n-now?” I falter, hands clenching and unclenching.
Zan nods.
“We need you up athte fairgrounds for the formal arrival of the Order,” Aiden says.
“Okay,” Dad says. “Shae, go to Henry’s room and help him pack a small bag.”
A chill shudders through me as a thought, deep and primordial, spills out of my mouth. “But what if we never see them again? What if—”
“Shae!” Dad’s voice is sharp, like a nail in my back. I snap to attention. “Go,” he says.
“It’s going to be okay,” Callum pulls open the front door and light pours into our home. “Shae, you have to trust us. There are things in place that are older than we are. Things we will use to protect your family. Just have faith.”
Callum and I stare at each other for a moment. Every part of me wants to fight all of them. I can’t lose Mom and Henry. I need them with me. Mom was in the room when I was on trial. She’s the one who helped save my life. She helped me become a raven. Without my mother—but Henry… He’ll be safe, away from the danger that is rapidly approaching Topanga.
“Okay.” I blink. “I’ll get his bags packed. He’ll be ready to go in about ten minutes.”
Henry’s lying on his bed, kic
king his legs around as his fingers scan over the pages of A Horse and His Boy. He’s so engrossed in the pages, he doesn’t even here me open the door.
I walk up behind him and grab his dark hair, curling my fingers into it and giving him a small shake. He looks up and smiles. My hand falls away, dangling awkwardly at my side.
“Wanna read to me?” He sits up and pats the bed next to him.
I shake my head, standing there. My arms itch to grip him, hold on to him, and keep him safe. But I can’t. Let’s hope Mom can.
“Are you okay, sis?”
“You need a haircut,” I smile.
He tosses his head so his brown hair flicks back from his face. “Don’t you think it makes me look dashing?”
Laughter erupts from my throat. “You’re eight! You’re not allowed to be dashing.” But as I gaze down on him, I can see a hint of the young man he’s going to grow into. And, yeah, my little brother is going to be dashing.
If he makes it.
I swallow the lump in my throat and shove the thought somewhere else. “C’mon.” I smile stiffly. “Gotta get you packed.” The words choke on their way out.
“Where we going?” he asks.
“North.” I dig his duffel bag out of the bottom of his closet and start throwing clothes into it. Three pairs of clean underwear. No five, just in case. Four pairs of pants. I count them out slowly.
“Don’t forget these.” He’s at his bookshelf and grabbing down an armful of his novels, comic books, and magazines.
“You don’t need all those,” I say.
“I’m not leaving my ‘to be read’ pile,” he says. “No way.”
I roll my eyes. “Can’t you at least go digital?! You’re from 2008, not 1968.”
“I know.” His face scrunches a bit. “Kids at school think it’s dumb, too.”
“I don’t think it’s dumb!” I backtrack quickly. “Pick a couple of each, but not all of them.”
“I just love the way books smell and feel.” He closes his eyes, hugging one to his chest and inhaling.
Man, I’m going to miss him.
“Bring however many you want. Doesn’t matter if you’ve got a few extra books. Mom’s driving.” I hold out my hand for his books. “But you’re not going to be gone that long,” I say, as he starts to stack up his arms with books again.
Shirts. I need shirts. I open the drawer of his dresser. It’s empty. “Where are your shirts?”
He shrugs as he sorts through his stacks of books. “Clothes hamper?”
I start to grab a few sweaters and long-sleeve shirts. North. It’s October. Finally, I have enough. Henry throws in his books and I zip up the bag. It weighs a ton, and I need both hands to carry it. I’m halfway out the door when he stops me.
“Shae?” he asks.
I drop the bag of clothes and books because even in those few steps, I’m tired of carrying it. “What?” It sounds abrupt and loud, irritation grating under my skin. It’s not his fault that I want to get this done as soon as possible. He and Mom need to leave quickly because I don’t know how else I’m going to let them go.
“Shouldn’t you be getting your bag?” he asks.
“No.” I shake my head, lurch his bag onto my shoulder, and turn away. “I’m not going.” My lips barely move.
When he was younger Henry would’ve thrown himself on the floor and wailed loudly. But I don’t hear a sound as I walk away. My fingers tremble, and I bite hard on my lower lip to stop from crying. What if I never see him again? Why does the Order have to come tear my world apart?
The living room is empty, so I keep going out the front door, through the gate and to the street. Dad is there lifting Mom’s bag into the back of her beaten up Volvo. He grabs the ton of books effortlessly from my aching shoulder.
“Where’s everyone else?” I ask.
“They headed out to the fairgrounds,” he says.
“The Order.” I take a deep breath.
Dad nods. “They said you should be there, soon.”
Henry comes up next to me and slips his hand in mine. We stand there silently as Mom comes out of the house. She walks over to Dad and leans up against him. He rests his lips against her forehead, and wraps his arm around her.
“Take care of our boy,” he says.
Mom just nods, her eyes closed, face pinched and worried. Dad has always been her rock. He’s been the one protecting us from her, protecting her from herself.
I slip my hand out of Henry’s and put it on her back as she steps away from Dad. “You’ll be great, Mom.” I smile encouragement.
“Oh, Shae,” she murmurs. Her arms wind around me, and she smothers me in a massive hug.
I squeeze her back just as hard. “You’ll be with me every step of the way.”
She pulls out of our embrace, tucking loose hair behind my ears. “I’m supposed to tell you that,” she says, her eyes misting up.
“You can tell me, too.” I blink furiously.
“Everything is going to be fine.” She laughs, but it’s choked as it tries to escape. Mom turns towards the driver’s side of the car. “C’mon, Henry, let’s go.”
Henry launches himself at my waist, and I pull him up into my arms. He’s getting so big I can barely lift him, but he still behaves like he did when he was five, wrapping his legs around me and burying his face in my neck. All I can smell is his little boy, bubble gum, and sweat scent. His body shakes slightly, so I start to twirl him around until he’s laughing and I nearly fall over.
“Stop it!” I laugh as I lower him into the car, tickling his belly. “Stop laughing!”
“I–I–” He dissolves into fits of giggles.
“Promise to look after Mom?” I ask, my fingers dancing along his neck.
“Yes! Yes!” He gasps. “Just stop!”
“Okay!” I grin and go in for one more nuzzle, pulling the seat belt around him. “Don’t tell Mom,” I whisper, “but you’re in charge.”
“Duh.” He scoffs at me.
“Let me know what happens on page one hundred and five.” I grab the Horse and His Boy off the seat and hand it to him.
“You got it.” He grins, already opening the book as I shut the door.
Dad and I stand alone in front of our house as Mom starts the old Volvo. I hope that car even makes it. What if they don’t get the text? What if they don’t have signal? What if her phone battery dies? My head reels with possible glitches in the plan that will destroy their chance at safety. Mom releases the parking break, steps on the gas, and slowly drives off into the dappled shadows of the cool afternoon.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” Dad murmurs. But his usual joviality is gone, and there is a grim set to his chin that I’ve never seen before.
It’s like I’ve just heard the biggest lie of my life.
8
“Can’t you come in?” I ask when Dad and I pull up in front of the faded, wooden sign that proclaims we’re at the front of the Topanga Fairgrounds.
Dad shakes his head. “It’s best if I don’t. You know I don’t fit in. But Callum said he’d wait at the gate for you. I’ll be here ‘til I see you give me the thumbs up.”
“Okay,” I murmur stepping out of the truck.
It feels like a storm’s coming in. The wind is brisk against my face and brings the sweet smell of fresh cut alfalfa hay mingled with the heavy, fermented fumes of horse poop. I walk briskly into the fairgrounds, my black Ravensgaard gear keeping me warm.
I can’t believe Mom and Henry have just left, and I don’t even know where they’ve gone, too. They’ve just disappeared, and I’m trusting I’ll see them again. In this new world I’ve fallen into, anything can happen to anyone.
Shifters and their loved ones die.
Even if I make it through the debut, I still must find a way to bind myself to the raven or, regardless, I’ll be dead in two weeks.
As promised, Callum is just inside the gates, eyeing the perimeter. The wind lifts his black hair and blows it forwa
rd, covering his eyes. He brushes it aside as he turns to me, and for the briefest second I can see the rip in his heart. We’re all so busy rearranging our lives. It’s like we’ve forgotten Callum’s just lost his brother. It’s barely been a month.
I reach forward to give him a reassuring touch, but he steps back from me. My hand floats through the air and back down to my side. Okay. Maybe you don’t touch the Ridder. I don’t know, and I don’t even know how to ask. Then I see Iona and Shanahan standing under the massive oak tree on the center of the grounds. They’re watching us and Iona says something to Shanahan. He bends down to respond, but we’re way too far away for me to hear what they’re saying.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” I ask.
“Tell you what?” Callum twists his raven claw ring around on his finger.
I nod towards the oak tree. If they’re standing there talking about us, well I have no problem with her knowing that we’re standing here talking about her. “That Murtagh’s daughter is in town and going to be living here. Kind of a useful piece of information.”
“It’s not that big of a deal,” Callum says.
“He tried to kill me.”
“He tried to kill a few people, Shae.”
“Exactly!”
“That’s not Iona’s fault,” Callum glances at me sideways.
“I’m not sure I feel safe with her around.” I hug my arms around myself. It’s better if he thinks I’m feeling endangered rather than jealous.
“It’s not a big deal. It’s normal for families to draw together after a disruption. Murtagh was an anomaly. Iona doesn’t have his agenda.”
“If she did, I bet she wouldn’t tell you.” I retort, poking him for some clear sign that he doesn’t like her.
“Probably not,” Callum shrugs. “Iona wants something, that’s for sure, but I don’t think it’s Aiden’s High Seat.”
I press my lips together to avoid the squeak that is rising inside me. Iona wants something. Callum. That’s my guess. There is no way I can compete with her. Even if I wasn’t on the highly endangered list, I don’t see that he’d chose me over a hot badass girl like that.