Nina had been walking for a couple of hours when she saw the coffee shop. She could see the three old women through the window, chatting and laughing as if there weren’t any problems in the world. They looked as though they came from a different planet to the one Nina lived on. They probably had dogs and houses and grandchildren, she thought. Probably their grandchildren were successful and happy and went to university. Before she had thought about what she was doing or what she would say, Nina pushed the door of the café open.
Nina wasn’t sure about older people any more, but she felt she was out of choices. It was the old men who had put her off. The old men she had met in the brothel, although ‘met’ was hardly the right word. One of them had seemed kindly, like the old grandfather in Heidi. He’d arrived with sweets, and a lollipop he wanted her to suck. Nina had thought that maybe he would be her helper, maybe he would be the person who would aid her escape.
‘I’m not here by choice,’ she had said to him. ‘They’re keeping me here against my will.’
Nina realised her mistake as soon as the words were out of her mouth. He had been excited by the thought. This kindly-looking old grandfather had loved the fact that she was helpless. In fact he asked her to say it again, and again. Nina didn’t try the same thing with any of the other punters.
So old people were totally off the list of possible helpers for Nina until she met the three women, but she knew from the start that they were different. By the time she entered the café, Nina was sure she had seen the car, the big black one, out of the corner of her eye several times. She was freezing cold and she needed the toilet. It would be the easiest thing for him to stop the car, pull her in and then she would be back there again, inside her very own nightmare. Everyone knew that Londoners minded their own business. No one would say anything. Even if someone did notice, he would probably have an explanation ready. He’d say she was his daughter or his granddaughter or something, and no one would believe her. He had everything on his side and Nina had no choice but to trust the women in the café.
As soon as she stepped inside, Nina felt better. The women looked at her with kindness, as if they’d agreed between themselves that they would help her, as if they had been waiting for her. She felt as though she wasn’t on her own for nearly the first time that she could remember. These women were on her side, she believed that before they spoke. They were different. They all seemed to take charge of the situation, although none of them was jostling for the lead.
‘I totally want to be like you three, when I’m older,’ Nina said to Meg later, when they were safely inside her house and making tea together.
Meg had laughed. ‘Do you know,’ she said, ‘I think you could do better than that. Well, not better than Grace and Daphne, but better than me. Honestly.’
Nina could tell that Meg meant what she said, but she didn’t take any notice. Meg and the others couldn’t do anything wrong in her eyes.
‘You three are like my grandmas,’ Nina said to them. ‘I never had grandparents, but if I did, I’d want ones like you.’
She blushed as she said it, and hoped that it wasn’t a stupid thing to say.
Daphne and Meg had fluttered a bit, and Nina thought she saw a tear in Daphne’s eye. Grace didn’t flutter, though, that wasn’t her style. She stood straight and tall and smiled a smile that made Nina pleased that she had said how she felt. She felt safe with these women, and it was a great feeling. So safe that she lost her step, stopped looking for danger round every corner. Even when they got into the car to go to Margate that night, even though Nina could feel the fear coming off them in waves, she still felt secure. She was with the grown-ups, that’s how Nina felt. With the grown-ups, who could keep her safe. Who wouldn’t let anything happen. Even as she recognised That Car, even as she realised that Meg was crying and muttering something about a violin, Nina still felt that, on balance, things would turn out OK. She was totally unprepared for the violence of being dragged from the car. It seemed worse, somehow, than the first time she had been taken by toad. That time she hadn’t known what was waiting, this time she knew only too well. And this time she had Meg, Grace and Daphne to worry about too. They would think it was their fault, she knew they would. And she was so, so scared.
‘Do you realise,’ toad said, as soon as Nina had been bundled into the car, ‘how much trouble you’ve put me through?’
‘And me,’ Fiona said, turning round in the passenger seat to grab a handful of Nina’s hair. ‘I could have been at home, taking care of business. We’ve lost money tonight.’
‘That’s OK, Fee,’ toad said. ‘Nina’s very sorry and she knows we almost had to move to a new place because of her. We’ve spent every minute looking for the right place but it’s OK because now she’s back and she’s going to work very hard and pay us for all the trouble we’ve gone to on her account. Isn’t that right, Nina?’
Nina didn’t say anything. There was no point. Whatever she said, they’d get the better of her. They had all the advantages on their side.
‘All the advantages,’ said a voice in Nina’s head that sounded like Grace. ‘All the advantages except brains. That’s what you’ve got, girl, now use them.’
Nina had no time to dwell on how awful things were. Toad and Fiona were true to their word, and she was booked every half hour as soon as she got back. Some of the punters turned up more than once in that time and Nina realised that they were being offered freebies to keep her in line.
She didn’t see Ronnie until later that day, when Ronnie was brought out to sit with them in the waiting room. Nina was shocked at how awful she looked.
‘Ronnie,’ she said.
Fiona slapped her.
‘New rule,’ Fiona said. ‘No talking between girls. If you’re pissed off with that, blame Nina here. She’s the reason for it.’
A couple of the girls looked daggers at Nina but she didn’t notice. She couldn’t stop looking at Ronnie. Ronnie who now looked even thinner, who was visibly shaking, who looked cold in spite of the temperature in the room.
‘And in case anyone thought they might be clever and do what Ronnie has done,’ Fiona said, ‘I think she’d be the first to tell you not to bother. Or he’d be the first, I’m never sure which one is correct for a freak.’
Ronnie hung her head.
‘She’s right,’ she said, so quietly that Nina had to strain to hear her. ‘It’s not worth it.’
Ronnie was taken away after that, and Nina wasn’t sure where they had put her. It wasn’t a huge house but big enough for there to be several closed doors. It was a prison. Nina was never left alone.
When toad came to get her later, Nina realised that something else was happening, something that might give her another chance if she played her cards right.
‘Get dressed,’ toad said, pulling her off the sofa where she had been trying to rest for a few minutes between clients. ‘Put some clothes on, for God’s sake. You’re coming with me. If you’re lucky, you might get a glimpse of your beloved old ladies.’
‘I haven’t got any clothes,’ Nina said. ‘You took them away.’
‘Fucking mouthy bitch,’ Fiona said. She fumbled in a box by her bed and threw Nina some jeans and a T-shirt.
‘That’ll be enough,’ she said.
Nina was shaking so much she could hardly get her feet into the jeans. The ladies, trying to help her in some way. Maybe it would work. Or they could get hurt, and that would be the worst thing.
Toad didn’t speak to her on the short drive. He was furious, Nina could tell that. She thought she recognised some of the streets but she wasn’t sure. One street looked much like another in the dark. Something was happening, though, and that had to be better than nothing. There’s something more, that’s what she kept repeating in her head, there’s something more and I’m not going to give up.
The car stopped in the park. It looked like the countryside, but Nina knew they hadn’t travelled far enough to leave London. She wondered if they were g
oing to kill her here and bury the body.
‘Don’t try and get out, the car’s locked. Stay there nice and quiet like a good girl, so that your friends can see you,’ toad said.
Nina looked out of the window as he left the car, and sure enough, she could see them. Her heart leapt and she waved frantically but they were looking at him, and only at him. She saw Daphne step towards him and hold something out, and she saw him step forward to take it. A ransom, Nina realised, a ransom just like in the fairy tales. They were going to pay it to him, she was sure, and she felt proud, excited, full of hope and terrified that he would hurt them.
‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘Thank you, thank you. I will repay you one day, I promise I will.’
Nina couldn’t hear what was happening, so she didn’t hear the noise that made toad jump. She only knew things had changed when toad came running back towards the car, with Daphne and the other women and someone else at the back, she wasn’t sure who, in pursuit and shouting. Nina banged on the window, tried the locked door and waved her hands but toad was back behind the wheel in seconds and they were screeching round and leaving the women behind.
‘There was someone there,’ toad said. ‘Your fucking stupid friends brought someone with them, I could hear them. They can’t fool me.’
‘I couldn’t see anyone,’ Nina said, ‘are you sure?’
Toad slammed the brakes on and pulled in to the side of the road. It was a residential street but there were no lights on in the houses, no one to help Nina.
‘You can shut the fuck up,’ toad said, ‘or God help me, I’ll do the job for you. You have caused me more trouble than the rest of my girls put together, do you realise that?’
Thanks, ladies, Nina thought. I know it didn’t work but thank you. Please try again.
The excitement Nina felt at seeing them disappeared as soon as she was back at the house. Toad made sure that her life was unbearable. It was the lack of hope that was the hardest to deal with, living a life without a plan B. There wasn’t even a way to commit suicide that she could think of. No belts, no rope, no pills, no razors. No matches, even. Nina wondered what her ladies would do. She imagined Grace kicking toad to the floor, and the others joining in to beat him to a pulp.
Nina was so preoccupied the next day that she almost missed the fact that toad was going out. He usually stayed, him and Fiona, in order to keep an eye on everything, like jailers. For one of them to go out was a big deal. Nina thought it was the best chance she might have of finding Ronnie. That’s what Grace, Daphne and Meg would do in her position, Nina was sure. Her ladies would find Ronnie and help her in some way, regardless of the consequences.
‘Don’t go thinking you can try anything funny,’ Fiona said, ‘because believe me, I have got your number. You stay right here close to me until your next Mr Right comes along.’
‘Of course,’ Nina said.
She waited until the next client was through with her, then instead of going to the bathroom, Nina tiptoed downstairs to the closed room she had noticed next to the front door. She didn’t know why she thought that was the one, it was just a feeling. Nina felt sure that they would want to keep Ronnie as far away from everyone else as possible. Nina turned the handle as slowly and quietly as she could. It was locked. Of course it was locked. Nina decided to give up and go back upstairs but as she turned to leave, she noticed the bolt. A big, heavy bolt at the top of the door. Nina pulled it back and tried again. The door opened and Nina stepped into a darkened room.
‘Nina, go away, I’m OK, if they catch you here…’
‘Ronnie. Ronnie, I’ve been so worried about you. Are you OK? No, that’s a stupid question, I want to help you, that’s all.’ Nina took her cue from Ronnie and spoke as quietly as she could.
‘Bless you, love,’ Ronnie said. ‘Away with you now. I’m OK. I’m sorry you didn’t get away. Try again, don’t give up.’
Nina held Ronnie’s hand for a moment.
‘I can’t leave you here,’ she said. ‘Come with me. Let’s try and run again.’
‘Maybe soon,’ Ronnie said. ‘Shoo, go on. It’ll be worse if they find you here.’
Nina left, remembering to bolt the door behind her. She went back upstairs before she was missed. For the rest of the day, Nina thought about Ronnie. About how she might be able to rescue her, get her away from this place before it was too late.
Chapter Twenty
Grace
Thursday, 28 February
My lovely Daphne is a hero. No other word for it. There’s something about her, especially at night, she’s like superwoman. She’s amazing, there’s no other word for it. That toad man was standing there in the dark park, and he wasn’t worried about us at all. He looked as though he was laughing. I’ve seen that look on kids who know they’re trouble. The ones who know straight away that there’s nothing you can do that will bother them. Dean, I thought. I could smell the trouble so strongly I could almost touch it and I was thinking, if I had a little gun right now I would shoot that toad man right between the eyes. I’d forgotten the code word, the gosh that we were supposed to say to activate the Shoe people, I’d forgotten everything except for how much I hated him. And Eleanor, I thought of her, and I thought, I won’t let you down again, child, which was insane because my Ellie had been dead for more than fifty years. Way more. She’d be almost an old lady like me if she was here now, we’d be growing old together. That’s one of the odd things about having a child when you’re still a child yourself. They nearly catch you up. I don’t know how I had time to think all of that while he stood there, waiting for what we were going to do next. I really don’t, but I swear all those thoughts went through my head, one after the other as if they’d been queuing up.
‘Open the car door now, and give me the girl,’ Daphne said. Her voice was clear as if she was on stage, and if she had been, you could have heard her in the rear stalls. She held the money up so that he could see it without actually holding it out towards him.
I could see he was wavering. He took one step towards her and there was a noise, a scuffling noise from behind the café. The Shoe people said afterwards that it wasn’t them, it must have been a fox or something, but I’m not sure. There’s lots of things that make noises in the dark. Eleanor used to be scared of the noise the tree frogs made in Jamaica and we made up stories about them to make them less frightening. It wasn’t a tree frog I could hear in that night-time park in Brockley but I thought I heard a cough from behind the café. A human cough, not a fox. Whatever it was, the toad man was well and truly spooked. He lost his composure in the blink of an eye. He leapt back towards the car and at the same time Nina tried to open the door from the inside but of course he’d locked it so we could see her scared little face as she banged on the window while he jumped in and revved up.
‘Open it, Nina,’ Daphne shouted, ‘try again.’
I guess she thought that when he got in the lock on the back door might have been taken off but it wasn’t, Nina was still locked in, and he swung the car round so hard she fell back against the seat. Meg rushed at the car, moving her hands through the air as though she was pulling at the door handle. For one moment I thought he might knock her down but Daphne pulled her out of the way at the very last moment and he drove off down the hill and out of the park. Much too fast.
‘Shit,’ Daphne said. ‘Shit, shit, shit, we nearly had him, did you see that? We could have got her.’
Daphne was beside herself. I could see she thought the whole thing was her fault.
‘You were great,’ I said. ‘Come on, we’re so close, he had the upper hand that time but we can try again, it’s OK.’
Nonsense words really, but I didn’t want Daphne to blame herself, and I didn’t want to give up. We still had a job to do.
‘I’m sorry about that, ladies,’ Des said, coming out from behind the café. ‘It may have been me who coughed, I think it was nerves.’
He was trying to take the blame, but I didn’t beli
eve him.
‘You’re supposed to be good at this sort of thing,’ Meg said.
Daphne and I both stepped forward, ready to remonstrate with her, but Des held his hand up.
‘Fair enough, fair enough,’ he said. ‘I have to admit that I have never been cut out for a life of crime. I’m sorry.’
‘I believe that Des is right,’ said the male half of the small hired killing duo. I hadn’t noticed that he was there until he started speaking. ‘He’s not cut out for it, most people aren’t. It’s a circumstantial thing. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time. And if anything,’ he went on, ‘I’d like to say that you ladies are actually better suited to it in many ways. I was impressed there. By the way, the name’s Greg. Like the pie shop. Vegan sausage rolls.’
He held his hand out to shake first Daphne’s, then mine, then Meg’s. I could tell he was unsure of what to do next, and I wondered if he was going to cry. He looked very emotional.
‘Cut that out, Greg,’ Clara said. ‘We screwed up good and proper and I think what my brother means is that he’s sorry about that.’
The situation was getting out of control. Everyone, including me, was trying to take the blame for the non-death of the toad man, and somebody needed to pull things together. I stepped forward. It’s a teacher thing. I missed my chance once with Dean, and I’ll live with that for ever.
‘Come on, everyone,’ I said. ‘Let’s go back. Meg, can we come to yours for a debrief?’
‘Phone me,’ said Clara. ‘This unit is still in play. Phones still active.’
The Shoe people went silently back the way they had come. Greg looked back once and waved.
By the time we are all settled into Meg’s sitting room with a cup of tea and a biscuit it’s one o’clock in the morning.
A Beginner’s Guide to Murder Page 19