“Understood,” Bethany said. She smiled. “Look at you bossing me around.”
Kiner smiled. “You love it.”
“Maybe I do. All right, I’ll get my gear, stuff my face, and meet Erem in the stables in two hours.”
They nodded.
“Good luck, Beth,” Jovan said.
“Always,” Bethany said with a grin.
Kiner smiled too, since it was the first time he’d seen that particular glow on Bethany’s face. For all his doubts about this, she did love training and letting people make harmless mistakes in order to learn from them. Erem needed more experience, and Bethany was probably the best one to train him at this stage.
“Good luck.”
****
Even with the lingering soreness in her lungs from the coughing sickness, Bethany breathed easier as she hurried back to her room from the barracks wing. She’d stopped to load up a bowl with smoked oysters, more kippers, and bread.
She set the plate down on her bed, then pulled off the back scabbard that held her Blessed Blades and tugged off her tunic. Bethany pushed open her trunk and yanked out a silk tunic and a woolen overshirt. She also tossed a padded shirt on the pile on her bed and pulled out her padded leather trousers.
Around the castle, she didn’t wear her armour. For one thing, she spent all day at a desk. Neither mail nor plate were designed to be cozy on one’s buttocks. Secondly, there were tens of thousands of soldiers in the area surrounding the castle. That was a buffer between her and the enemy. She did carry her weapons with her, as did all of the knights who’d lived through the destruction of the temple.
Bethany wriggled out of her everyday trousers and into the thicker, padded ones. A delicate cough announced someone’s presence behind her; she snapped her head round, expecting Kiner or Allric—Jovan didn’t believe in pretending Bethany would be embarrassed at being caught half naked.
“Sorry. I didn’t realize you were dressing.”
Bethany grimaced at the sight of Arrago. She turned away to finish buttoning her trousers and cursed herself for having forgotten to close her door. She’d closed the study’s main door, and most people let that stop them.
She tugged the silk tunic over her head and turned to face Arrago, discovering he was turned away from her. “Relax, I’m decent.”
He smiled at her, ears flushed from embarrassment. He looked so worn these days. Her heart ached for his grief. She didn’t believe he’d been in love with Celeste, but he had married her. They’d spent a lot of time together. Of course Arrago would have cared about Celeste in some form, and it pained her to see him hurting.
“What can I do for you, Majesty?”
“I wanted to talk to you about Mother Aneese’s letter. I assume you’ve read yours.”
Bethany pulled the wool tunic over her head. She reached over to the plate and grabbed a chunk of bread. “Not yet.” She popped the morsel into her mouth.
“Why ever not?”
Bethany sighed and shoveled more food into her mouth. “I just didn’t want to. Look, I’m in a hurry. What did you need, Majesty?”
“Would you stop calling me that? Just this once, please.”
Bethany dropped the piece of bread she was holding back on the plate, her appetite vanishing. She was being unbelievably rude.
So Bethany did what she rarely did without coercion. She squared her shoulders: “I’m sorry, I’m in a hurry and I’m excited…and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I can only imagine what kind of time you’ve had.” She looked down at her feet, considered, and then looked back up at him. She forced a smile. “What about Aneese’s letter?”
It took Arrago a moment before his features relaxed. “That wool tunic is too big for you.”
Bethany looked down at herself and scoffed. “It fit when I got it.” She tugged on her padded over shirt and fumbled pushing the wooden toggles through the leather loops. “I’d have one of the seamstresses take it in, but I keep thinking I’ll grow back into it once the spring comes.”
“Why are you putting on your armour?”
“New assignment,” she said. She sat on the bed and shoved her feet into the tall leather boots with their reinforced steel strappings. “If this stuff sat here any longer, it would rust.”
She stood again and grabbed her helmet off the wooden stand in the corner of the room. She tossed it on the bed. She did the same with the coif and the belt.
Arrago didn’t speak, so she continued to dress, chatting on. They hadn’t talked in months, not in any real sense. She was nervous, but she didn’t berate herself for chattering. Arrago probably needed the normality as much as she did.
She struggled into her mail tunic, the back clasp snagging on her hair. She winced in pain as several hairs ripped from her head. “Ouch.”
“Let me help you,” Arrago said, annoyance in his voice. “You could’ve just asked me.”
He didn’t give Bethany a chance to reply. He helped tug the long piece of armour over her.
He stood back and smiled. “That’s new.”
“Celeste had it made for me. Didn’t she tell you?”
Arrago shook his head. “When?”
“Three months ago? She kept wanting me to see her corset maker and I refused. What would I do with a corset? So I gave in and let her mantua-maker measure me for some new tunics. She used them to have a set of armour made for me.” Bethany smiled. “What a character she was.”
“She never told me,” Arrago said, through a sad smile. “It fits well.”
Bethany looked down at the chain tunic that fell just above her knees. “It fits nicely. And it has the split in the back that I like, so I can ride a horse. That shitty one I wore the entire way here didn’t have one.”
“It didn’t?”
“Well,” Bethany hedged, “it eventually did when I took a pair of pliers to it.”
Arrago chuckled. He looked at her and shook his head. “You’ll need new armour again if you keep losing weight. Apexia’s mercy, Bethany, you need to eat more.”
“It’s not my fault there’s nothing decent to eat in this place.” Her tone was more light-hearted then she’d planned. “Just pass me the coif.”
Instead of passing it, Arrago tugged it over Bethany’s head. His hands lingered as he spread the metal hood down over the back of her neck. Bethany didn’t know how to respond, so she let him do it.
His cold fingers brushed against her bare throat as he took his time. He stood closer than necessary and his breath was hot on her skin. His thigh brushed against hers and a sinking feeling spread across her. A hot flash of memory—of when he’d pinned her against her old bedpost, when they’d kissed for the first time. And, later, when they did a whole lot of other first times.
Guilt filled Bethany for even remembering the intimacy they once shared. Celeste had been her friend. This was not how she should honour a friend, even if that friend had once given her blessing.
Arrago coughed and stepped away. “Can you manage the rest?”
“I’m sure I can dress myself,” she said ruefully.
She tugged on a long white-and-blue sleeveless tunic over everything, most of the left breast filled with embroidery depicting her rank, decades of service, her medals of honour, and a sword through a rose, showing she was Lady Champion.
“Show off,” Arrago said, smiling at her many honours.
Bethany chuckled, but she felt her cheeks heat up.
“Are you blushing?” Arrago said. Then he laughed. “Bethany!”
“It’s a bit excessive,” Bethany admitted as she ran her hand along the stitching. “And I’ve never understood why it’s white. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get the stains out? Belt?”
He handed it to her and Bethany sighed in relief as the main weight of the tunic was released from her shoulders and settled on her hips. He helped her slip into her back harness, moving the buckles to resize it to fit over the many layers. The Blessed Blades slid back into place.
&n
bsp; She took a deep breath. “Thank you for the rescue.”
Arrago smiled at her. “Anytime.” His voice was too husky, though, and too full of need and loneliness.
She wanted to fill that need because she had the same one. She understood some of his loneliness, but she hadn’t even adjusted yet to him and Celeste. Now, Celeste was gone. She needed time to sort through it all.
“I’ll be gone a couple of days, but if you need someone to talk to…” She exhaled deeply and hoped she was not making a mistake. “If you need someone to talk to, maybe we could go to the dining hall. You know the one, where the knights eat?”
“The dining hall?”
“Yeah. It’s a good spot. We’d be left alone, but, well…you know.”
A bitter sound escaped Arrago. “Do you have such a low opinion of me that you can’t even talk to me in your own study, that we need a nanny to chaperone us? I came here because I wanted to talk to someone who…you know? I don’t even know why I try with you. Why did I even come here? Help you put on your clothes. I should have called a servant.”
“I’m trying to be kind.”
“This is you being kind?”
“Yes, Arrago. This is as kind as I am capable of. I’m leaving and here I am getting ready and trying to stuff as much food into my mouth as I can, since I don’t know when I’ll get to eat a hot meal again. And I’m trying not to tell you to go away because I know you need…” Bethany closed her eyes and sucked in a breath. “Arrago, this is not the time to hash it out.”
“Oh, no, feel free to hash away. Chop, chop, chop,” he said. “I should have gone to Jovan. At least I would have known what I was getting when I showed up.”
“Why are you yelling at me?” Bethany demanded. “I’m trying, Arrago. I’m sorry about Celeste—”
“This isn’t about Celeste!” Arrago screamed at her. “This is about me and you!”
“There is no me and you.”
The door to Bethany’s office swung open and Erem walked in. “Hey Bethany—” He stopped when he looked at Arrago and Bethany’s faces. “Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?”
“Yes,” Bethany said.
“No,” Arrago said. “Come on in, Erem. Lady Bethany”—he spat her title—”was explaining to me how kind she can be.”
Bethany clamped down hard on the hot comment that popped into her head. She gritted her teeth and said, “Arrago, just wait a minute. Erem, get out.”
“I’m not your aide anymore. I don’t obey your little demands and orders,” Arrago said. “I came here to talk to you, thinking you might actually behave like a normal person.”
“For fuck’s sake, Arrago. Stop being such a…a…”
“Go on, say it. Say it, Bethany!”
“Fucking asshole!” she screamed. Her heart pounded in her throat and she regretted losing her temper as soon as the words escaped her. “Are you happy now?”
“Right,” Erem said. She’d forgotten he was still standing there. “I’ll head down to the stables myself. I’ll let them know you’ll be a few minutes.”
Bethany didn’t respond. What was the point at this stage? She turned her attention to Arrago. She mustered all of her patience and said, “Arrago, I have to go. They’re waiting for me. Can we please yell at each other when I get back?”
“Where are you going?” he demanded.
Bethany gritted her teeth. “That is what I’ve been trying to tell you. We got word there’s a small group of Magi a half day’s ride from here.”
“And you’re going?”
“Yes,” Bethany said. “I’m going. I’m training Erem on how to command field missions.”
“Why?” Again, he demanded. “Why you?”
“Arrago, please. I’m begging you now. This is me begging. I don’t want to argue before I leave. We can scream at each other to your heart’s content when I get back, but not before I leave. Please.”
****
“Answer my question first. Why are you going?”
He knew it was irrational, but he couldn’t control the storm of emotions. He should have never come to see her. He should have gone to Jovan. Or Amber. Or Eve. Or a damn horse. Anyone but Bethany.
“I asked to do this.”
“But why? Bethany, you’re sick. The only place you should be is in front of a fire.”
She frowned. Her eyes were full of pity for him. She so rarely showed that kind of emotion that it upset him to have brought it out in her. “Listen to me. I am not a helpless little girl. I am an experienced soldier who is going to train a potential successor, in case anything ever happens to me. I’m not going to die anytime soon. Not from a straightforward field mission and not from a cough. I’ll be back in a few days.”
“But why are you hunting Magi? There are other people who can do that. Can’t you train Erem on something else?”
Bethany actually laughed at him, though she kept her tone soft and gentle. “There are a couple dozen Magi out there who are going to hurt civilians. Erem needs practice running missions. I have decades of experience. Why not go after them and train him at the same time? Besides, I asked for field duty. I begged for it, in fact, so Jovan is sending me on this.”
“Does Allric know?”
“Of course.”
“And he approved?” Arrago tried to keep his own temper in check after the last explosion, but it was a struggle.
“Yes.”
“Well, I don’t,” he said, and the words came out sullen.
Bethany laughed. “You have no say in this.”
Arrago stared at her and saw all of the mistakes he’d made. He shouldn’t have married Celeste. He shouldn’t have let himself be made king. Edmund would have been far better at it. Apexia’s mercy, now he thought of it, he should have stuck Celeste on the throne and been done with it. Sure, women couldn’t rule by themselves in Taftlin, but commoners without royal bloodlines weren’t allowed to, either.
He’d promised Apexia he would lead his little group of rebels to this, but now he had to wonder if Apexia really meant this for him. Or had she been punishing him for all he’d done to Bethany?
How could one year change a man’s life so much? Two years ago, he was still living at the monastery, planning how best to serve Apexia. Now he was leading a nation and sleeping on purple silk sheets. He didn’t even like purple. Ugly colour.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he said. “It’s been a horrible couple of weeks. And I had to send Henry away on top of everything because everyone is sick.” Arrago sighed. “I’m sorry. I just…I just miss you.”
Bethany said, in a rough voice, “Say whatever it is that is stopping us from being friends.”
Arrago turned to face her. “What do you want, Lady Champion Bethany, daughter of Apexia?”
“What do you want, King Arrago Cedar?” Bethany snapped.
He took two steps towards her and met her eyes. “What I want, it seems I can never have, and it is driving me insane.”
Bethany closed her eyes.
He took another couple of steps and was standing close enough that he could smell the vanilla rose tea.
Bethany sighed. “Arrago, you know I’m no good at this stuff.”
“I know.”
“I promise we’ll talk when I get back.” She gulped. “Alone.”
“The dining hall is fine,” he said, weary now. “Good luck.”
She smiled and it transformed her face. She was so intimidating in her full armour. A tall, proud, dangerous woman. Even without her Power, Bethany was still one of the best fighters they had. It was a risk sending her, but she was suited to hunting and killing far more than sitting in this musty castle rotting away. He knew that, but he hated her going. “Please be careful.”
She snorted. “I’m never careful.” She grabbed her helmet and began to walk out of the room. Then she stopped. Without turning around, she said, “I loved the tea.”
And then she kept walking, never turning to see the smile on his face.
CHAPTER 10
Three Weeks Earlier
Blood dripped off Bethany’s sword in the pre-dawn light. Her stomach growled and her eyes were heavy from a night of dodging Magi. They’d gotten their break twenty minutes ago and taken out one of the pockets of Magi. They didn’t get them all, but they got some.
She kicked the still bodies around her with her heavy boots. One body moaned and Bethany hoisted her pike and sank it through the dying woman’s throat. A final guttural sound and then silence.
She examined her bloody but necessary work and nodded to herself, pleased it was over. She raised her hand and said, “Clear.”
Jackson raised his hand and shouted, “Clear!”
Bethany walked in her scarred apprentice’s direction. He was a middle-aged human, horrifically scarred from being set aflame during the Siege of Kershaw, as it had become known. When Jackson saw her wave, he approached, carrying his own pike and a sword. He weaved his way around the bodies, some still lying on their bedrolls.
“That’s all of them, Lady Bethany. I’m guessing twenty Magi in total.”
“Losses?”
“We lost six of our own. Four Taftlin militia, two regulars.”
Bethany grunted. Against this many Magi, she was impressed they’d only lost six. Bethany’s team was supposed to be a basic fact-finding hunt. Check out a couple of farms and homesteads, speak to the people in the nearby hamlet and report back. Instead they’d been running from these bastards for days, unable to match their strength. Bethany decided enough was enough and managed to ambush their night camp, take out the sentries and kill them all in their sleep. It didn’t work perfectly—six of her men did die—but the world was short twenty Magic users. That was a win and she happily took it.
She chuckled that Erem had purposely given her the easiest job imaginable and yet she ended up stumbling on the entire damned Magi mess anyway.
“What’s so funny?” Jackson demanded.
“Erem. He thought this was a simple job. Fool is probably shitting his pants right now wondering what happened to us.”
Fury (Tranquility Book 3) Page 11