No matter how the next few years played out, Bethany knew the secrets would come out. She’d tried to live a lie and it had failed. She would not make that choice for the rest, but she knew it would eventually spill out. Oh, and what a mess it would make.
Arrago glanced at her. “You’re not wearing a coat. It’s a bit cold out here for your tastes, isn’t it?”
“I’ve acclimatized to the weather,” Bethany said with a small smile.
“I’m glad.”
Even now, as Bethany mustered her courage, he did not push. He simply joined her, mirroring her stance. He was only a hair shorter than her, so he could maintain the pose and still look her in the eye.
Arrago was special. Anyone else would just leave, or yell at her, or make demands. Not Arrago. He was patient. He could take her jabs and blows in his stride, giving back as much as she gave. He also knew when to be quiet and supportive.
“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m going to miss it here.”
Arrago looked at her. “You don’t have to leave.”
“I do.”
“But you could come back.”
“I could, couldn’t I?”
He reached up and touched her face. “Will you?”
Bethany drew in a deep breath. Arrago was now touched by Power, just like she was. Even if he developed no Power of his own, his lifespan was extended by decades, if not centuries. She had no idea how long she’d live; Apexia hadn’t even known. Everything had changed for him.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said, not removing his hand. “You’re thinking that my lifespan has been extended and would I want to be with you for a century or more. You’re wondering if the people will accept an Elorian as Queen. You’re worrying that you’ll have to start wearing dresses and corsets and give up being a soldier.”
Bethany smiled in spite of herself. “I must think very loud.”
His hands slipped to her shoulders. “I’ve done a great deal of thinking and I’ve talked to Edmund, and Lord Stanley, who doesn’t know the particulars. I will do everything I can to put Taftlin on the right path. When Henry is my age now, I’ll step aside for him to rule. As for the other stuff, well. That’s all up to you.”
“So much has changed.”
“No, it hasn’t. I still love you. I still want to fight for this. I can wait. Bethany; my love is here to stay. I’ve done everything possible and I can’t stop loving you. I don’t even want to. I want a future with you, on whatever terms you need.”
“The future is a lot longer for you now.”
He smiled. “So I have longer to love you.” His hands slid down to hers and their fingers intertwined. “Instead of Queen, I believe I’d make you Lady Bethany, Consort to the King, and Commander of the Royal Guard. That way, no one would expect you to wear a dress, not even to a ball.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course I would, silly.” He kissed her lips very gently. “And you can come back. You know the way.”
“I suppose I do.”
Arrago seemed to come to some kind of decision before he said, “Do you remember that last night before the battle at the temple?”
“What do you mean? A lot happened that night.”
“Do you remember when we were in bed and you asked me what I was thinking about.”
“And you said you’d tell me in the morning. Yeah, I remember.”
****
He smiled, a rather sad expression. “I knew that us being together bothered you.”
“I wanted to be there,” Bethany insisted.
“I know, but we were both raised by elves. You always seemed like you were feeling guilty every time we were…” He trailed his fingers up her strong, muscular arm, “together.”
A shy smile spread across Bethany’s mouth. She grabbed his hand and wrapped her lips around his thumb. Hot need and warm memories flooded his senses when she popped the digit out of her mouth. “I remember thinking the same thing about you a few times.”
Arrago smiled, remembering the first time he’d explored her entire body with his mouth. And then the little quirk of her mouth when she said she wanted to return the favour. They were embarrassed and didn’t have a clue what they were doing, but they…Arrago laughed to himself. They’d had a lot of fun that night.
“What?”
“I was remembering the night I traced my tongue along those blue veins on your breasts.”
The tension in Bethany’s face broke and a rich, melodious sound escaped her throat. Blessed Goddess, he loved this woman so much. “Funny. I was thinking about when I did that to a very specific one on you.”
He wanted to pick her up and carry her to his bed. He wanted to strip off her clothes and lay her bare for him to ravish again and again until they both fell asleep.
“We’re getting off track. You were telling me about that last night together.” Bethany turned away from him, looking out at the evening sky. “And I’d like to do anything to avoid the conversation I came here to have with you.”
“That’s the thing. I decided that night I was going to ask you to marry me in the morning.”
Arrago was rewarded with Bethany’s shocked expression, plus the stream of profanity that was uniquely hers. “What in fuck shit’s name were you thinking?”
He touched her face. “I was thinking that I was in love with you and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Thank Apexia for us being invaded that night and the temple being blown to sand.”
Arrago grinned. “I suspect the outcome would have been similar if circumstances had allowed me to ask.”
Bethany laughed. “You must have known I would have said no.”
“I had a plan, though. Would you like to hear it?”
“This I have to hear.”
“I was going to ask you that morning in bed. You, of course, would have immediately declared it insanity and would have ranted and raged about what a mess it all was. You would have yelled at me in a profanity-laced tirade that all of the monks on your floor would have heard.”
“That’s pretty accurate.”
“You would have grabbed your clothes and stormed out. Then I’d show up for work and you’d ignore me all day until you couldn’t handle the tension anymore.” Arrago pushed himself up from the edge to stand directly in front of her. “I would have said I had no expectations, only that I wanted you to know how much I loved you.”
“I would have said you hadn’t known me long enough to be in love with me.”
“And I would have called you a liar and said I knew my own heart.” He pressed two fingers, very gently, over where her heart rested. “And that I knew yours. You see, Bethany, you wear your heart on the outside. I would have said I would wait for as long as you needed.”
“Arrago,” Bethany said, “I couldn’t have married you. What a mess that would have been.”
He smiled at her and leaned forward to whisper, “But what fun it would have been.”
Arrago stood back and walked away, leaving her to sputter and stumble over her words. After all, why should Bethany always get the last word?
****
Bethany stared incredulously at Arrago. He was walking away from her. He’d said that, and just walked away. After he wrote that damned letter proposing marriage. After he just told her he’d planned to ask her last year.
And he was just walking away?
“What are you doing?” Bethany demanded, jogging after him.
He spun to face her. Bethany was a strong woman and didn’t flinch from roughhousing, but she didn’t expect Arrago to grab her. Bethany stumbled when he slammed her body up against the door frame, and she winced.
“Stop playing word games and ask me to my face,” she demanded.
“When this is all over, come back and be my wife.”
Any other woman in Taftlin would have been honoured and thrilled to have been asked to be Queen. All of those women were idiots. Bethany understo
od the gravity of what he was asking. She’d been weighing the options for days, and she still couldn’t get off the fence.
“What about Celeste?”
“She was my friend and I loved her the way you can only love a friend. She was my wife in title only. Every time I looked at her, I was reminded that I chose my duty over my heart. I miss her and I mourn her. And I promised her I would tell you I loved you and wanted to share my life with you. That has not changed. That will never change.”
She stared at him, unable to form words around her thoughts.
He took advantage of the silence and pressed his hand to her cheek. “I know you have to go back. You need to file your reports and justify your actions. When it’s all over, come back to me.”
“I will always be a soldier, Arrago.”
“I know. So be one here, with me. I love you with every fiber of my existence. Nothing can make me complete if you’re not by my side.”
She’d come to tell him yes, but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. Yes. It was a simple word. She wanted so badly to tell him that she would marry him, no matter the cost. She loved the idea of training a royal guard for Arrago, Celeste’s few remaining family members, and little Henry. Until this moment, she didn’t even realize this was truly what she wanted: peace.
She wanted peace. All of this time she’d been fighting and assuming she fought for war and destruction. She was the battering ram against the gates. But she was more than that, and she’d never realized it.
Lady Champion Bethany was a beacon of hope. Myra had said it, the first time they met. Myra had become an apprentice knight because she wanted to be like Bethany. Did Myra want to be a killer? A drunk? A husk of who she once was? No, of course not. She said, I think you are the most amazing woman.
For all of Bethany’s doubts and hurts, for all the pain she’d both inflicted and suffered, she was still someone a little girl could look up to.
Bethany’s heart raced in her chest and she feared she would black out, as spots filled her vision. She wanted to be with Arrago more than she’d wanted anything in her life, including being a knight. Including being normal. Arrago was an obsession that she couldn’t walk away from. She’d tried walking away. Every single time she’d encountered him, she tried to walk away. How could it have been only a couple of years ago that she’d never even known his name?
Now she couldn’t imagine her life without ever seeing him again. She’d tried it. It had nearly eaten her soul.
“I can’t make a decision now,” she insisted, even though her heart screamed that she’d already made her choice.
“Stop listening to the voices of your elders that are spinning around in your head. Tell me what you want.”
She let out a long exhalation and whispered, “You. It’s only ever been you.”
Arrago kissed her, hard, and she returned the kiss with equal heat and pressure. He pressed his body against hers and she ignored the pain of the wooden fixtures digging into her back.
“I’m not answering your question,” Bethany said between breaths.
“Say yes,” Arrago urged between kisses. “Say you love me.”
Bethany tugged at the clasp at his throat and his cloak fell to the balcony floor in a puddle. “Shut up, Arrago.”
“Yes, milady,” Arrago groaned. “Whatever you say, as long as I get you into my bed tonight.”
“Better,” she said.
She pushed him away from her and grinned. He walked backwards, hands spread out. She approached him, tugging off her tunic. A satisfied sound escaped his lips when his gaze perused her body. She untied the end of her binding, and Arrago took the edge of the cloth. Strong hands ran up and down her back before he unraveled the protective cloth.
Her own hands found employment pressed against his hardness, which elicited several hungry sounds from Arrago.
Layer upon layer of clothing peeled off in their private game of equal give-and-take. They kissed and suckled and touched every part of each other’s body, all the while stepping back further through the royal suite to Arrago’s bedroom.
“Say yes,” he urged.
“Shut up,” she growled.
“Say yes,” he urged, now smiling.
She grabbed his cock and squeezed. “Shut up.”
Arrago laughed when he grabbed her by the fine strands of hair. “You need to grow your hair out.”
She grabbed his long tail of hair. “You need to cut yours.”
“Never.”
They were both naked by the time they collapsed into bed. Arrago left her mouth, smiling as he did, and planted a trail of kisses down the length of her body. He traced the kisses back up and smiled at her. “You are so beautiful.”
A soft smile stretched across her face. “You still look like a farmer.”
He laughed. “Maybe someday I’ll get to be that farmer you’ve always wanted me to be.”
“Nah,” Bethany said. “As long as you’re with me, there’ll always be trouble.”
“Good.”
Bethany let out a long, contented sigh and let go of everything. She dug her heels into the small of his back and guided him to her. “I never thought I’d get to do this again.”
A groan escaped him as he sunk himself deep into her. “I know how you feel.”
“I love you,” Bethany whispered.
Arrago pushed her arms above her head. “If you’re not going to give an answer, you don’t get to speak.”
“Shut up, Arrago.”
“Yes, milady,” Arrago said as he picked up the pace. “Whatever you want.”
“I want you to go faster.”
He slowed down until Bethany laughed. All of her worries and grief were pushed aside. She was alive, and she wanted to celebrate that simple, joyous fact with the man she wanted to spend her very long life with.
Even if she wasn’t ready to let the words slip from her mouth.
CHAPTER 29
Bethany stood on the docks near Castle Gree for the last time. It had taken three weeks, but she was ready to return Lendra to Wyllow and file her reports. Arrago was also sending with her about a million requests and letters, including a repeat of his formal request to have Lendra permanently assigned to Taftlin as the Elven Council’s official ambassador and emissary. He wanted to open official diplomatic relations and wanted Lendra to lead them. Little Lendra. All grown up now.
The harbor was thick with fog, as it always was this early in the morning. All of her remaining friends were on the dock to say good bye.
“I’m going to miss you,” Amber said as she hugged Bethany.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come back with me?” Bethany asked.
Amber shook her head. “Both Duchesses have fallen in love with Opal and won’t hear of me leaving. I’ll be fine, especially with Allric’s pension. Assuming Lord Jud lets me have it.”
“You’ll get it,” Bethany said sternly. “One way or another, I promise you will never want for anything.”
“I’ve written to Allric’s sister, Paverly. If she wishes to come, can you please help arrange transportation? I mean, if you aren’t too busy, of course.”
“Anything for you,” Bethany said. The women shared another embrace.
“I guess it’s my turn,” Kiner said, and he hugged Bethany. “Are you sure I can stay?”
She nodded. “Absolutely. We need some knights to stay behind to help Arrago with stability. You should stay.”
Kiner smiled. “Thank you.”
She shrugged. “I’ll fend off the Wyllow wolves.”
“You’re the best.”
“I really am.”
“All right, all right, break this shit up,” Jovan said. “Do you have everything?”
“Yes,” Bethany said with exaggerated annoyance.
“It’s going to be two months before I can get to Orchard Park. We have a lot of soldiers to coordinate here.”
“Jovan, I know,” Bethany said, laughing. “I can handle the Counci
l.”
“You have our story straight, right?”
She nodded. “Jovan, I lied for over a century. I can lie for the rest of you.”
“Okay. Okay.” He smiled and gave her a tight hug. “All right. Get out of here.”
Edmund Greyfeather shook Bethany’s hand and said, “Good luck.”
She smiled and said, “Look after Arrago for me.”
Arrago glowered at her, which was made rather adorable by the giggling Henry he bounced in his arms. “Did you see that, Henry? Bethany is being a brat. Yes she is.” Henry giggled more. “Even Henry agrees with his Daddy, doesn’t he? Yes, he does!”
Bethany made a disgusted sound.
“I promise,” Edmund said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be the one running the country while Daddy Arrago over there spoils the future monarch of our country.”
“Oh! Did you hear Uncle Edmund?” Arrago made a gasping sound that sent Henry into more giggle fits.
“Ugh,” Bethany said. “Lord Stanley, I believe we part ways here.”
“Lady Bethany,” Lord Stanley said, shaking her hand. “It has been a singular pleasure to meet you.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Please do. The Queen always spoke highly of you. I can see why.”
Bethany smiled. “Thank you, Lord Stanley.”
Lord Rayner, likewise, shook her hand. “May Apexia guide you safely.”
A stab of sadness pierced Bethany’s heart, but she smiled and bowed her head. The story was going to get out. No matter what, all the lies and obfuscations were little more than delay tactics. But the others needed time to adjust, and she was happy to provide a distraction.
The others stepped back to give her and Arrago a moment’s privacy. He handed Henry to Edmund and stood next to her. He took her hand and she let him. They’d given up all pretense of being friends and had been sharing each other’s bed for weeks.
The time had been good for them, and they had grown closer. Arrago told her his plans for the Queen’s Highway, an ambitious project to connect all of Celeste’s properties across the country and thereby provide safe and faster travel for merchants, farmers, and ordinary people. She loved the idea, and it would deflect attention away from her a little, she thought.
Fury (Tranquility Book 3) Page 27