by Laura Martin
Lady Whittaker had finished her speech and was standing to one side, talking with a couple of wealthy patrons. Now would be the best time to make her escape. She had come with her mother to the fundraiser, but it was only a couple of miles home, she would prefer to walk even in the light drizzle and freezing winds than wait for her mother to be ready to return in the carriage. A snowstorm would be preferable to spending another minute in Miss Preston’s company.
‘Please excuse me, Miss Preston, I have somewhere else to be.’ Before the debutante could say anything else Caroline stood and hurried away, moving as fast as she could without it looking as if she was fleeing.
Outside it was icy, the wind whipping freezing rain that hit her face like hundreds of tiny knives. She almost retreated back inside, but one glance at the crowd of people who’d spent most of the past week giving her pitying looks and whispering about her when they thought she was out of earshot decided her. Rain was better than that, whatever the temperature.
Pulling the hood of her cloak tighter around her, she dipped head as far as she safely could and still make out the pavement in front of her and then began walking briskly. She could feel every muscle in her body tense up with the cold and began fantasising about the warm bath she would slip into once she was back at home in front of a roaring fire.
In the freezing temperatures it seemed to take a lot longer to cover even a short distance and by the time she had walked a third of the way home she was regretting her decision. The cold was permeating everywhere and even though she was healthy she knew being this chilled wasn’t good for her.
‘Stupid, rash decision,’ she muttered to herself, repeating the words under her breath. If she’d been thinking clearly she would have just taken the carriage and sent it back later for her mother, but in her haste to get away from Miss Preston and the words that struck a little too close to the truth she’d fled without thinking through her actions.
‘Get in,’ a low voice called, the familiarity almost making her heart stop in her chest.
After taking a moment to summon her courage, she glanced up, seeing James’s face looking down at her from the carriage. Effortlessly he hopped down and held the door open for her.
She glanced around, weighing up her options. The rain was getting even heavier and the wind stronger. Really, she would need a very good reason to decline his offer of shelter.
‘Get in. You’ll catch a chill and be in bed for a week.’
Relenting, she stepped up to the carriage, trying to ignore the spark of energy between them as she took his hand and climbed up into the vehicle. James vaulted up behind her and closed the door before taking his seat and banging on the roof, signalling for the driver to depart.
For a long moment he didn’t say anything and Caroline found herself eyeing him nervously. She wasn’t sure if he had purposely sought her out or just been passing and seen her struggling on in the wind and rain.
‘You’re soaked,’ he said and absently Caroline put a hand to the top of her cloak, feeling the sodden material. Even in the relative warmth of the carriage she was shivering and as she relaxed a little into the plush material covering the seats, she began to realise how much of her was soaked to the bone. ‘Why on earth were you walking in this weather?’
‘To escape Miss Preston.’ She grimaced.
‘Ah. I see.’ He smiled at her then and Caroline felt the world shift beneath her. Even after everything they had been through just one smile was enough to rock her world. ‘I confess I probably would walk over molten lava to get away from Miss Preston, so I can understand why wind and rain would be a preferable alternative to her company.’
He didn’t look any different, still the same face and physique that made her heart clench and her stomach flip over inside.
‘She informed me you had fled to Italy.’
‘Clearly untrue,’ he said, spreading his arms. ‘And Miss Preston would be the last person to know of my movements.’
He took her hand, the gesture confident, without any hesitation. Even through her gloves Caroline could feel his warmth and for a moment she let her hand rest in his, before slowly trying to pull away. James gripped her tighter just for a fraction of a second, then released her fingers and waited until she looked up at him.
‘I’ve missed you, Cara.’
It was an admission that cut straight to her heart. She’d missed him every waking moment of every day. She’d spent hours obsessing over what he might be thinking, what he might be doing, even as she told herself she needed to begin to build a wall around her heart and move on.
‘It has only been a week,’ she said weakly, knowing you could miss a person in just a few hours. A week often felt like eternity.
‘Far too long.’
The carriage slowed to a stop and she glanced out the window. The journey hadn’t been long enough to cover the distance to her house and she frowned as she realised they were outside James’s residence instead.
‘What are we doing here?’
‘I need to talk to you, Cara, and I need to do it alone, without any interruptions.’
‘You know I can’t be here.’
‘Please, Cara. I’ll never ask anything of you again if you wish, just grant me a few minutes.’
Part of her was intrigued, curious to know what had made him seek her out after a week of no contact. The rest of her knew this was a bad idea. She might tell herself she was getting over James, but the reality was she was still head over heels in love with him and even being in a carriage with him for a few minutes was making her question every decision she’d made.
‘Five minutes,’ he said, ‘and then if you wish to leave I will arrange for the carriage to take you home.’
‘Five minutes,’ she agreed after a long pause. He grinned, threw open the door and bounded down, reaching back to steady her as she stepped back into the rain.
Inside the house felt wonderfully warm and as she slipped off her sodden cloak, she slowly felt some of the muscles that she’d been holding tense in the cold begin to relax. James led her along to his study, closing the door firmly behind him and directing her towards the fire.
Caroline stood as close as she dared, holding her fingers out to the flames.
‘We should get you warm and dry,’ James said quietly as he came up behind her. She had a vision of slipping out of her heavy dress and sinking to the floor in front of the fire entwined in James’s arms.
‘I can change when I get home.’ Her voice was stiff, her posture closed and formal. James reached out and ran a finger up her arm and she almost relented there and then.
‘I won’t be responsible for you catching pneumonia.’
‘What do you propose I change into?’
He didn’t have an answer for that and at her sharp tone he took a step back and motioned for her to sit in one of the armchairs angled towards the fire.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Looking at her a few feet away, James felt the gulf between them, a gulf that had never existed before. It was entirely of his making and he just hoped he could mend it. As he watched, Caroline wrapped her arms around herself in a protective gesture and then shivered, although whether from the cold or discomfort from the situation she was in, he couldn’t tell.
‘Cara...’ he began, speaking slowly and choosing each word he said next carefully, knowing it would be his only chance. ‘Do you think you can ever forgive me?’
Her head snapped up and for an instant her eyes met his before flicking back down to focus on her hands again.
‘Perhaps,’ she murmured quietly, ‘but not yet.’
It was a very Caroline answer, honest even when the reply was detrimental to her cause.
He slipped off the chair and knelt in front of her, taking one cold hand in his. ‘I’ve been a fool, Cara, a complete and utter fool.’
She didn’t sa
y anything, although this time her gaze did linger on his face as if searching for his meaning.
‘I’ve been so caught up in the idea of love and fate and experiencing the same things my parents said was key to their happiness that I didn’t realise that I was letting my own happiness slip away from me.’ He watched as her eyes widened and she shook her head in disbelief.
‘Don’t say something you don’t mean.’
‘I mean every single word. I was so obsessed with replicating what my parents had that I didn’t realise we could have something better.’
He could see the tension in her body, the way every muscle looked poised to help her flee should the need arise.
‘I love you, Cara.’
‘No, you don’t.’
He smiled, ‘I do. I think I’ve loved you for a long time, but I was too idiotic to see it.’
‘You don’t. You can’t.’ She had turned pale and was gripping the arms of the chair as if needing to anchor herself to something solid.
‘I can and I do. I love you, Cara. I love your smile and your humour. I love your patience and how much you care about the people you love. I love you.’
She was still shaking her head, her brow furrowed with disbelief, and James felt his certainty rock. He didn’t doubt his feelings for Caroline, now he’d realised how much he cared for her that would never change, but he began to doubt his certainty that everything was going to fall into place. Perhaps he’d hurt her one too many times, had left his declaration too late.
The idea of losing her for good sent a spike of pain ripping through his chest. He couldn’t, he just couldn’t.
‘Cara, look at me.’ He waited for her eyes to stop flitting around the room and rest on his. ‘You know me, you know my every expression, my every tone. You know when I’m lying and you know when I’m telling the truth.’ He let his words sink in, for her to realise that he was right before continuing. ‘I love you and I can’t bear to imagine my life without you.’
She searched his face, her breathing becoming more rapid, but James could see this time his words had got through to her.
‘But you said...’
‘I was a blind fool. Too slow to realise what we could have together.’
‘How can your feelings just change like that?’
‘They haven’t. I’ve loved you all along, I was just too idiotic to see it.’
‘What if...?’ She took a deep breath in, then pushed on. ‘What if we’re together, then someone else comes along, someone you have that instant connection with?’
He reached up and stroke her cheek. ‘I love you, Cara, I wouldn’t notice anyone else.’
She stood abruptly and for a moment he thought she was going to flee the room, but after a second she just took a step towards the fire, angling her body away from him. He knew she was working through every argument as to why they shouldn’t be together in her head, that he just needed to give her time to see they were all nonsense, irrelevant nonsense, but it was so hard not to reach out and pull her to him. James knew he could seduce her, but he wanted her to come to him freely with her decision made by the rational part of her brain.
A minute passed and then another before eventually she turned around.
‘Say it again,’ she said quietly.
Stepping forward so their bodies were almost touching, he reached around and placed a hand in the small of her back. He took his time, his eyes taking in every detail of her face, his fingers caressing the soft material of her dress.
‘I love you,’ he said quietly.
There was a pause, only a second or two, then she smiled tentatively. ‘I love you, too.’
* * *
Caroline closed her eyes as he kissed her, feeling the heat rise up from her core as it always did whenever he was near. The man she loved. The man who loved her. Even as he kissed her she couldn’t help smiling. Deep inside she could feel the flutter of nerves in her stomach and she wondered if it would always be like this or if one day they would settle into comfortable familiarity.
He loved her.
Caroline couldn’t quite believe it, even though she knew it was the truth. James had been right when he’d said she knew his every expression, knew when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. Every day for the past five years she’d dreamed of this moment and now it was finally here.
James pulled away just a fraction and looked at her, a smile lighting up his face.
‘I have a question for you, Cara.’
Nodding, she felt her heart begin to thump even harder in her chest. He’d asked her three times before, but this time she was ready to say yes.
‘Will you marry me?’
‘Yes.’
He swooped her up into his arms and spun her round, smiling as she laughed with the exhilaration. When he set he back on her feet there was happiness in his eyes and also something else.
‘You’re not going to want a long engagement, are you?’ He leaned in and trailed his lips across her cheek until he caught her earlobe between his teeth.
‘Six months?’ She tried her hardest to suppress the moan of pleasure that wanted to break free.
‘No.’ He kissed her neck, pushing the fabric of her dress down to access her collarbone, and left a trail of heat behind him as he moved his lips across her skin.
‘Five?’
‘No.’ Spinning her round, he began tugging at the fastenings of her dress, just loosening them enough to allow him to push the stiff fabric from her shoulders. Underneath she wore a thin chemise, but James deftly slipped that from her top half, letting the material of her dress and chemise pool around her hips. Despite the warmth of the fire Caroline shivered, feeling her skin pucker under his gaze.
‘Four?’ she offered.
‘No.’ His lips were back on her skin, kissing and nipping, driving every thought but him from her mind. He caught one nipple between his fingers, the other in his mouth and teased her until breathlessly she whispered, ‘Three?’
‘No.’
Quickly he went back to work on her dress, loosening it some more until it fell from her hips, then he grasped the hem of her chemise and lifted it up over her head. Now she was clad only in her stockings and boots, but she couldn’t feel the cold any more. Her skin felt as though it were on fire, eagerly awaiting his next touch.
She almost cried out as he stepped away, briskly walking over to the door. He turned the key in the lock and then was back at her side in an instant.
‘Three is far too long,’ he murmured in her ear and then lifted her up and lowered her into one of the armchairs. ‘Perhaps I need to remind you why.’
James knelt down in front of her and ran his fingers along the border of her stockings just where the fabric stopped and the skin began. She gasped as he bent his head and kissed her on the delicate skin of her thighs, feeling the warmth of his breath moving further and further up.
‘Two?’ she managed to gasp just before his mouth trailed over her most private place and she lost all ability to think. A hot tension began to build deep inside her as his mouth did wonderful things to her and Caroline felt as though she were floating out of the chair. She cried out as the tension burst and the waves of pleasure swelled through her body, her thighs clenching and gripping James in place.
‘Two is far too long,’ he said as he sat back, watching with a satisfied smile as Caroline nodded. She would agree to anything right now.
He reached out and took her hand, pulling her to her feet, and then tenderly laid her down on the plush rug in front of the fire. She watched as he stripped off his clothes, wondering how she could be so lucky to have this man as her future husband. Within half a minute he had joined her on the rug, his body taut over hers.
She reached out, feeling his hardness, and pulled him in towards her.
He hovered just outside, looking at her wi
th a raised eyebrow.
‘One?’ she said eventually.
James pressed inside her and Caroline pushed her hips up to meet him. Again and again they came together and Caroline felt the pleasure begin to build, but also a wonderful happiness alongside it. James was going to be her husband and once they were married they would be able to fall into bed together whenever they wanted.
Swept away by the mounting heat inside her, Caroline closed her eyes and let her body soar, crying out as she climaxed and feeling James stiffen inside her.
‘One month,’ James said as he tucked his body behind hers, laying an arm across her waist. ‘One month is acceptable, I suppose.’
Epilogue
Eight months later
Caroline stared up in wonder at the magnificent structure in front of her. She had to lift her parasol a little higher to see the ragged line of stones at the very top.
‘How did they build something so impressive all those years ago?’ She took a moment to take in the splendor, then looked questioningly at James. ‘It puts our modern architecture to shame.’
‘I don’t know, some of the palaces in Venice are not all that old and they are beautiful in a different way.’
She couldn’t argue with that. They’d spent much longer in Venice than they had first planned, enjoying a leisurely life of strolling around the streets and across the bridges, sitting back in the little boats that whizzed along the canals and drinking coffee in the coffee houses that commanded beautiful views of the city. It had been the first proper stop on their honeymoon trip and originally they had planned to spend a week in the city. In the end they’d reluctantly left after three.
On the way to Rome they’d marvelled at the Duomo in Florence and the strange leaning tower in Pisa. They’d enjoyed a leisurely few weeks exploring Tuscany and visiting the vineyards James had told her about almost a year ago. And now they were in Rome, the city Caroline had dreamed of ever since James had started telling her stories of his travels.