"I'm sorry I made you feel that way." He leaned his cheek on the top of my head. "I'll try not to freak out about stuff."
"And I promise to be more understanding about it and not storm off in a huff. I promise that I'll try to talk it out with you and work on a compromise."
Nathan squeezed me tight. His warm arms around my waist were reassuring, comforting. I had someone to look out for me. Someone I could rely on to care about me. If that meant I had to put up with a little smothering, I could deal with it.
"You're really good at this forgiveness thing," he said.
"There's nothing to forgive," I said. "I get where you were coming from." I pulled back into his arms. "But I don't know if I can forgive you for showing up on my doorstep like this. If my parents had seen you they would have flipped the hell out."
"I was discreet."
"You better have been. Otherwise they're going to call the cops and start pounding on the door, wondering who that creeper was, sneaking into their daughter's apartment."
"So I'm back to being a creeper again?" he teased.
"If the shoe fits…"
Nathan chuckled, then went quiet. He stared into my eyes.
"I really do care about you," he said softly.
"I care about you, too."
Nathan tipped my face up to meet his. I leaned up on my tiptoes. He dripped his head. I closed my eyes. He placed a kiss on my lips. I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss.
Nathan pulled back, I opened my eyes, confused.
"What?" I asked.
"Is that chocolate ice cream I taste?" he asked.
"Vanilla with chocolate syrup," I corrected. "I was sort of having a mope-fest before you showed up."
A slow, lazy smile crossed his face. "You've got chocolate syrup?"
"Yes…" I said. "What's with that tone?"
"Nothing," he said easily. "I can just think of a dozen uses for chocolate syrup that have nothing to do with ice cream."
A tingling feeling shot through me, going straight to my core. "Are we talking about sexy things?"
"Do you even need to ask?" he drawled, a wicked glint in his eyes.
"Give me a second." I left the circle of his arms and went to get the bottle of syrup, excitement beginning to pound in my chest. Another experience I never thought I'd have. Food sex? That was up there with public sex on my list of naughty fantasies.
Hm. Public sex. I wondered… Was Nathan into that?
But that was a question for another time.
Right now, we were going to cover each other in chocolate and lick it off. That was sexy as hell.
Probably messy as hell, too. Oh well. Maybe that would just lead to shower sex.
I grinned to myself. Nathan had turned me into a sex-fiend, just like him, and I had no regrets.
"Follow me," I said, leading him to my bedroom. I thanked god I'd recently washed the sheets and made the bed. I wasn't a slob, but Nathan's apartment was much more put together than mine usually was. I was glad I wasn't going to embarrass myself in front of him.
By the time we'd reached my bed, Nathan had tossed off his shirt and was unbuckling his belt. A bulge was already rising in his tight jeans.
My mouth watered at the thought of what was hidden inside.
Another naughty thought came to me. I'd been thinking about something for a while. Maybe this was my chance.
"Take off your jeans," I told Nathan.
He quirked an eyebrow, surprised at my domineering tone, but did as I asked. He was left in his boxers and nothing else.
"Those, too," I said. "Then sit on the edge of the bed."
A low, simmering heat fired up behind his eyes as he got an inkling of my intentions. He lowered his boxers, letting his stiff length spring out. I bit my lip. I'd forgotten how big he was. Damn. This was going to be a challenge.
But I was up for it.
I knelt in front of Nathan once he'd taken his place on the bed. I placed myself between his spread knees, widening them so I could get as close as possible.
I stared down at him, taking in the length and the breadth. He was even bigger up close.
Nathan cupped my jaw in his hand and lifted my chin.
"You sure?" he asked, his voice already rough with desire. "You don't have to."
"I want to."
"Fuck, gorgeous," he breathed. "I've been wanting to see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock for ages."
I flushed, both at the familiar endearment, and at his words.
I took him in one hand and gave an experimental stroke up and down. He hissed quietly. I rubbed my thumb against the weeping tip and he made a muffled sound. I lowered my head and breathed warm air over him. He inhaled sharply.
Then I took the bottle of chocolate sauce and drizzled it over one side of his cock.
"Shit," he half-yelped, half-laughed. "That's cold."
Holding him gently, I ran my tongue up in a line from root to tip, licking the sauce from his skin. He shuddered, hands fisting in the blankets at his side. I drizzled the sauce down the other side. I sucked and licked, savoring the firmness of him, the heat of him, until there was no trace of chocolate left.
Then I opened my lips and took him in my mouth, sucking him down as far as I could go.
"Fuck!" he cursed.
I pulled back and swirled at the head with my lips and tongue, and was rewarded with another low hiss. I dipped back down, taking him in again. I felt his thigh muscles tense up with the effort it took to keep his hips from thrusting up.
But that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to take him deeper. I wanted to consume him whole. I wanted him to forget everything and lose control. I wanted to give him as much pleasure as he'd given me.
I worked at him, pulling delicious sounds from his mouth, just as delicious as the cock I was devouring. I gripped him at the base and sucked at the tip, using the circle of my lips to drive him crazy.
Before too long, I felt his cock pulsing and throbbing, and I knew he was close.
Nathan rested a hand on the back of my head, urging me off him.
"Stop, stop," he groaned. "I don't want to come yet."
"Why not?" I asked, disappointed. I'd wanted to bring him to orgasm with my mouth, just as he had done with me.
"I want to fuck you and watch your pretty face when you come."
My inner muscles clenched down with a wet ache at his words.
"Shower sex?" I asked hopefully.
He gave me a crooked grin. "Hell yeah, shower sex."
I scrambled in my nightstand, thankful I'd thought to pick up some protection after that night when Nathan tied me up, and tossed it to him. I immediately undressed as he turned on the spray. The moment I was naked I jumped in along with him.
"Cold!" I yelped.
"It's warm," he laughed.
"It's lukewarm at best," I argued.
"Girls and their hot baths," he teased. "Why do you love scalding water so much?"
In response, I grabbed his shoulders and pressed my lips against his in a hot kiss. Our mouths moved together desperately as the water rained down on us. His fingers trailed down my belly to the valley between my legs. We moaned together as he pushed a finger into me.
"Fuck, you're so wet," he murmured.
"Fuck me," I demanded. I wrapped my legs around his waist, clamping down around his hips, letting him catch my weight as he pressed me back against the wall.
He didn't hesitate to grant my request. With one smooth move, he slid inside me, the both of us moaning again in unison. The throbbing ache inside me was slowly becoming satiated as Nathan moved into me, pushing in and out at a steady pace.
Soon, my legs began to ache and I squirmed until he put me down. I turned until my back was to his chest and my cheek was pressed to the wall.
"Like this," I breathed.
He wasted no time, grabbing my hips and thrusting into me from behind. His cock hit a different angle and I gasped loudly. I suddenly understood the appeal of being taken
from behind. It was an entirely new sensation. With every thrust, he hit that pleasure center inside me, giving me just what I needed, what I'd been craving.
Nathan reached around and used his fingers to play with me, rubbing at the aching nub between my legs. I clenched down around him as I neared my peak. He let out a muffled curse as I fluttered around him. He sped up his movement, going faster and faster, slamming inside me as his fingers circled my clit, bringing me higher and higher until—
I let out a cry as I came around him, shaking and trembling, barely able to keep on my feet, only his arms around my hips preventing me from falling to the shower floor.
Nathan let out a loud groan of his own, his cock pulsing inside me as he came. His hands squeezed my hips so tight I thought they might leave bruises, and I relished the thought of him marking me, of having some reminder of what we'd done together.
The last aftershocks hit our bodies, jerking and twitching against each other, breathing heavily. Nathan placed a sucking kiss to the back of my neck.
"We forgot to turn the fan on," he murmured. "The mirror's going to be fogged up."
"And who's fault is that, Mr. Eager?" I said through panted breaths.
"Me? I seem to recall a certain person dragging me into the bathroom."
I laughed, turning around to snuggle up to his wet chest, enjoying the firm muscles against my cheek.
"Let's just say we were both equally caught up in the heat of the moment," I replied.
We quickly washed up and stepped out of the shower. Nathan wrapped me in a fluffy bathrobe and placed a soft kiss on my lips.
"I'm glad this evening went well," he said. "I was really worried."
"About what?"
"That you'd still be upset with me. I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay."
"I told you, I understand."
"I promise I won't freak out again."
"Thank you."
But even as I accepted his words, I knew they were probably a lie. Eventually, something was going to happen. I was going to want to do something, or something would happen to me, and there was no telling whether or not he'd react the same as last time.
After all, the tiniest of things had set him off. What if something real actually went wrong? What if there was a serious risk to my health one day? Would he be able to handle it? Or would he freak out again?
I'd thought Nathan would be able to deal with the realities of my illness.
Maybe I had been wrong.
26
I smoothed down my navy dress and adjusted the lace collar for the tenth time. I hoped what I was wearing was appropriate, but who knew what kind of thing rock stars and their girlfriends wore?
My phone pinged and I knew without looking it was Nathan. I grabbed my bag and struggled to stuff my feet into a brand new pair of kitten heels I'd bought just for this. They were perhaps half a size too small and I hoped I wouldn't have to be on my feet for most of the evening.
I snuck out the door and around the side of the house, darting down the street to where Nathan was idling in his car.
"You really need to talk to your mom," Nathan said as I slid in. "We shouldn't have to sneak around."
I ran a soothing hand down his arm.
"Every time I've run into her in the past week she's tried to lecture me," I explained. "No apology in sight. I'm going to give her some more time to cool down and get used to the idea of her daughter dating before I rub you in her face."
Nathan wasn't wearing his usual jeans and t-shirt, and he wasn't in his leather rock star get up. He wore a pair of black dress pants and a white collared shirt, complete with black tie. His hair was slicked back away from his forehead, not falling into his eyes. It changed his look. He looked less like the cute boy from next door and more like a suave, debonair gentleman ready to sweep me off my feet.
Nathan noticed me staring.
"So what's your preference?" he asked. "Sexy rock star, casual creeper or James Bond?"
I unstuck my tongue from the roof of my dry mouth.
"Do I have to choose?" I asked.
Nathan laughed and shifted the car into gear. "If it was up to me, I'd stick to casual creeper. I hate ties."
"That's a shame. You look very handsome in one."
"Handsome?" Nathan mocked a disappointed pout. "You're supposed to think I'm a hot as fuck rock star god."
"You're that, too. Not to mention, you can also be sexy and cute."
"Aww, you're making me blush," he teased. "Tell me more."
"I don't need to add to that swelled head of yours." I pulled the hem of my dress down. "Is this okay?"
"Your dress? Yeah, why?"
I fidgeted with the lace on my collar. "I didn't know what to wear."
"It's just a gallery showing," he explained. "There's going to be dozens of people wearing all kinds of clothes, from creative artist types to snobby rich art collectors. You'll fit in just fine, I promise."
"I hope so," I murmured.
This was the first time I was going to meet all of Nathan's band members and friends, and it was all at the same time in one small, contained place.
One of Nathan's music colleagues, August Summers, the drummer from Darkest Days, had a photographer girlfriend. We were on our way to some sort of exhibit showing off her work. She had apparently become something of a big deal in the art community.
Nathan had also told me about some of the others who were going to be there. A concert musician who'd produced a cello-and-violin duet with her multi-talented rock star boyfriend and reached number one on the music charts. One of the youngest women in the music industry to reach the position of Vice President of something or other. The owner and co-founder of a popular music magazine. An events manager who worked with celebrities to raise money for charities.
And me. A part-time pet shop worker.
I slunk down into my seat and clutched the strap of my purse.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Nathan asked.
I sat back up. "Nothing. Just…"
I didn't want to lie to Nathan about my feelings, the way I lied to my parents. I didn't want that to be the kind of relationship we had.
"I'm feeling a little outclassed," I confessed.
I explained what I'd been thinking while he nodded silently.
"Everyone who's going to be there is so…" I trailed off, not able to find the words to explain what I was thinking. "And I'm just…"
"You're not just anything," Nathan said firmly. "You're Becca Miller, and you're special and unique in your own right."
"Because I've got a busted heart."
"Because you've been dealt a shit hand in life and you've managed to rise above it all and live the life you want. You're amazing. You're a wonder. I'm in awe of how strong you are, Becca."
Warmth spread through my cheeks at his words. Nathan really did think the world of me.
"We're here," he announced as he pulled into a parking lot.
I'd spent so much of the car ride worrying, I hadn't even noticed us arriving.
Nerves hit me right in the gut. My fingers went cold.
Nathan took my hand and squeezed.
"It'll be okay," he said.
I wobbled a bit on my heels as I exited the car. Nathan let me cling to his arm while I got used to walking in them. I probably should have worn flats.
A well-built security guard stood in front of the entrance's glass double doors. He held them open for us to walk through with a nod of his head.
The art gallery was one vast room with pure white walls, dotted with large black and white photo prints. Servers were going around with platters of drinks and hors d'oeuvres in their hands. The place was full of people milling around. Nathan had been right. Some women were wearing designer dresses and dripping with expensive jewels, while others were wearing paint-splattered jeans and sneakers. I relaxed a bit, feeling better about my wardrobe choice.
A dark-haired man in an exquisitely-tailored black suit and skinny tie parted through
the crowd with a blond girl on his arm. They were coming toward us with a wave of their hands.
Nathan nodded his chin at them in greeting.
"That's the bassist of Feral Silence and his girlfriend," Nathan murmured to me. "Ren and Ivy."
My eyes went wide. "Ivy Derrick, the concert cellist?"
"That's the one."
Nathan seemed amused I was more impressed by a classical musician than a rock star. But I'd hung around Nathan enough to realize rock stars were normal people. A world-renowned concert cellist, though… that was pretty high-class and fancy.
But the young woman approaching us didn't look snobby or stuck up in the slightest. She had a sweet smile on her face and a simple but elegant cocktail dress with a flared skirt.
"Hey Ren, Ivy." Nathan slapped Ren on the back and gave Ivy a grin and a nod. "Good to see you. Are you here just to support Cassie's art or are you going to put on a show for us?"
Ivy nodded. "Cassie asked Ren and I to play a duet later on as some entertainment."
"And what are you doing at a sophisticated event like this?" the guy, Ren, asked Nathan in a friendly, teasing tone. "Isn't this kind of thing a little too cultured for your tastes?"
"Can't just have the girlfriends always coming to gigs," Nathan said. "Sometimes you need to put on a nice suit and support them in return."
My heart jumped at the word girlfriend. He hadn't meant us, surely. He was talking about the others, his rock star friends who had girlfriends.
Still, hearing the word on his lips sent a flutter through my stomach.
"You're here with Nathan?" Ivy asked me politely.
"Yes, I'm Becca Miller." I held out a hand to shake Ivy's. "Nice to meet you."
I shook her hand first, and then Ren's.
Neither of them asked how I knew Nathan or whether we were together. I assumed they knew better than to ask someone like him if the girl he was with was a one-time thing or not.
"I came over here to warn you," Ren told Nathan. "Security has done their best to keep out the rabid fans, but some have managed to sneak in."
"I can handle fans," Nathan said easily.
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