by Liz Lee
“I hope you two had a good conversation.” Kacie Jo set the tray on the table and ignored the fact that neither her husband nor her father affirmed her words. Inside she seethed. She loved her daddy but he was butting in where he didn’t belong.
“Remind me to never leave you two alone again…” a knock sounded at the door interrupting her. Probably Grady. He’d probably seen the car and couldn’t stay away. Maybe Eliza would be with him.
Kacie Jo wasn’t sure she was ready to start talking to her brother again, but she did have him to thank for the most wonderful week of her life.
When she opened the door, it wasn’t Grady, and it wasn’t Eliza.
Instead, the man she knew had to be Sam was standing on her daddy’s porch along with another man she didn’t know.
So this was what the devil looked like? A sickening darkness washed over her as she took in the man’s easy smile, his outstretched hand.
“You must be Kacie Jo. Grady told us we’d find you and Tex here.”
Tex. He called Donovan Tex. How little he knew him.
For a second she considered closing the door. Not even answering him. She wasn’t ready for this reality. Wasn’t ready to see the life Donovan chose.
“Good ol’ Grady,” she said, trying for light and fun. She took the man’s hand and smiled. “Based on what Donovan’s told me, you must be Sam.”
The devil smiled. “That’s right.”
She opened the door to let them in. “And that would make you?”
She let the question hang in the air as both men stepped into her family home. Donovan’s footsteps sounded like drumbeats as he approached. Their short escape was really over.
When Donovan’s shadow approached, she stared pointedly at the man who stood inside her father’s house looking for all the world as if he owned it.
Sam finally realized she was waiting for an answer, but it was Donovan who gave it to her. And the answer left her terrified, not only for her newly discovered relationship with her husband but for Donovan himself.
When Donovan heard the knock, a cold chill passed over him. That knock belonged to one person. They’d developed the cadence in Pakistan on assignment. Telling Ike he’d be right back, he made his way to the front door determined to tell Sam to get the hell out of town. He’d made it clear in Mexico. He wasn’t going back. End of story.
He rounded the corner intent on saying the words and instead came face to face with his nightmare.
For a moment he quit breathing, the cold chill of a thousand ghosts crossed his back and invaded his heart. He closed his eyes, tried to get a grip on the emotions pounding through him one after another, and instead saw mental images of death. Black smoke billowed from the depths of his mind and tried to suffocate him.
Jesus, he could barely breathe. What the hell was wrong with him? He had to get over this, had to get a grip, had to before he scared the living shit out of Kacie Jo, before he lost it completely.
Taking a deep breath he tried to remember what the damn doctors had told him when he’d first come back. The idiots the networks made him see hoping he’d be okay one day and be able to go back and show the rest of the world what it looked like to die.
He tried to count, tried to imagine a dark, cold room as he slowly caught his breath. None of it worked.
When he opened his eyes, Ali was still going to be standing there. He had to stop. He had to get a goddamned grip before he ended up in some hospital where people would look at him like a sorry head case. Like the people of Caldale had looked at his mother the whole time he was growing up.
There. An image to grasp on to, something to bring him back, to make everything else disappear. The pink trailer with its ridiculous racing stripes.
Slowly his breathing returned to normal, and Donovan could hear Kacie Jo calling his name. Could feel her hand on his shoulder.
“Donovan, are you okay?” She asked the same question three times, and he had to remind himself her concern was normal. Had to force himself to stay still, to not jerk away from her hand and tell her to just leave him the hell alone.
He’d never felt like this. Not even that night he left B’en Ai.
This was so stupid. He should be happy to see Ali. The man had been like a brother. He needed to get his head screwed on straight.
Finally, he opened his eyes. The light seemed brighter, grated on his nerves, but he forced a tight smile he hoped appeared normal. Forced himself to speak, to act.
“Jesus, Sam. You brought Ali all the way to Texas.”
He walked forward and embraced his friend all the while hoping he could keep his mind from spinning off into insanity.
“Don’t blame this one on me, Tex. Ali here showed up on his own last week.”
Sam forced a careless laugh, but Donovan could see the concern, could tell they didn’t think he was okay, could tell Kacie Jo wanted to throw herself in front of him—to protect him from unknown enemies.
He almost laughed. Almost.
But if he did, he’d never stop.
Jesus, Nelson, get yourself together. Stop acting like some psycho.
Donovan turned to Ali and threw an arm over Kacie Jo’s shoulder to pull her to his side. Trying to reassure her, trying to let her see he was perfectly fine.
“Kacie Jo, let me introduce you to the sorriest member of the B’en Ai royal family. The man standing before you is Prince Ali Sahrain. His ancestors actually traded spices with Marco Polo. His grandfather had a harem and married the first time at twelve. Last I heard, Ali had avoided the marriage market mommas, but he’s highly sought after by women world wide. Something about billions of dollars in oil refineries and a Bedouin heritage does that for a man.”
Donovan laughed as he spoke. Forced himself to play the part of Tex Nelson, super reporter. Forced an ease he’d never again feel into his words.
As he spoke, he realized Kacie Jo wasn’t fooled. But he didn’t rightly care. As long as she didn’t ask him if he was okay again, he could get through this.
Behind him Ike’s footsteps sounded on the floor, and Donovan hoped like hell the man hadn’t seen his reaction. The last thing he needed was someone else who thought they knew what was wrong with him trying to get him to talk, to relive the experiences, to try to come to terms with what he’d seen. He had news for all those sadists. He’d lived through it. Lived through it live and in color. He didn’t need to try and relive it. He needed to forget.
But that wasn’t happening as long as Ali was standing in Caldale. Once the prince said what he needed to say and went back home, Donovan would be okay. Because Kacie Jo helped him forget. She was his cure.
“The man standing next to the prince looking all miffed at being left out is Sam Jackson.” He smiled at Kacie Jo, tried to act as if they were sharing some secret joke. “He’s the one I told you about.”
He pulled Kacie Jo tighter while making introductions ensuring Sam knew where things stood. He’d started a new life in Caldale.
Everyone shook hands, and Donovan could tell they were trying to act normal, as if nothing were wrong with him.
Nothing. Nothing was wrong with him. He’d burned out. That’s all it was. He’d burned out, and now he was in Caldale with Kacie Jo, the woman he loved. The woman who carried his child.
He was fine, dammit. Fine and dandy.
He just needed to get…. He stopped himself. Getting away wasn’t an option. And he’d be fine once he got through this. Once Sam left him alone. Once Ali left period.
He turned back to Ali, ready to act as if he wanted to see his old friend. Ready to pretend everything was normal, ready to be the gracious Texas host even as his world continued to spin out of control.
Thankfully, his father-in-law saved him. “Well, gentlemen, welcome to Caldale. Let’s move this into the den where you all can talk.”
And as they walked back to Ike Jenkins’ domain, Donovan wondered if the man hadn’t invited the visitors inside to help him get away from the door, away fr
om his biggest temptation. Running.
Chapter Twelve
Kacie Jo stayed by Donovan’s side as they followed her father into the den. Ike asked Sam what he thought of Caldale, asked Ali if he’d been to the states before. Ali laughed and said he’d graduated with honors from an American university.
But if someone asked her which school the man had attended, she couldn’t tell them. All she was concerned with right then was Donovan. His eyes were blank, as if he’d withdrawn, as if he were lost inside his mind.
It wasn’t the first time she’d seen the emptiness. He’d looked similar the night she’d tempted fate and ended up pregnant. But this time was different. This time it scared her to death.
She wanted Donovan to quit with the fake accent and laugh that sounded like he was entertaining guests at the State Fair or trying out for the remake of Dallas.
At least she could see the speculative look in Sam’s face, could tell the man knew something was wrong. Ali didn’t seem all that comfortable, either.
“You were going to tell us what brought you to Caldale, Ali.” Donovan’s voice sounded different, and it wasn’t just the heavier southern accent. Kacie Jo reached for his hand as he spoke. “Let me guess. Sam found you and asked you to come out and try to convince me I’m needed in your part of the world.”
Sam shook his head. “Can’t blame this one on me, Tex. Ali showed up on my doorstep. I’m just extra baggage. I figured as long as the prince here was coming out to see you, I might as well tag along, see what or who tempted you back to Caldale.”
Sam tipped his head in Kacie Jo’s direction. “I think we both see why you came home.”
Donovan pulled Kacie Jo to his side, and she tried not to frown.
Ali looked once more in Donovan’s direction, obvious concern on his face. “I’m happy to see you found someone, Donovan.” He turned to Kacie Jo. “I heard much about you over the years. I have to say I’m a little surprised you’re not a child.”
Donovan laughed. “You should’ve seen me when she walked in her brother’s house the first night I was back. Surprise doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
Kacie Jo wanted the small talk to stop. She wanted someone to acknowledge something very wrong was going on with her husband.
She looked over to her father and found concern on his face. When he met her eyes, he shook his head slightly as if to reassure her, as if to say let it go for now.
“So, what did bring you here?” She was surprised by how normal her voice sounded.
Ali’s eyes were filled with kindness, and Kacie Jo figured she’d like the man at any other time. But right now, he was a threat to Donovan.
“I had some news to share with your husband. But now that I see he’s a happily married man, I’ll keep the news to myself.”
Donovan laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Ali. Married or not, news is news. You came all the way from B’en Ai to tell me something. Might as well spit it out.”
Sam stood. “I think we better get going. I’ll look you up tomorrow, Nelson."
Kacie Jo wanted to cry. She didn’t know what had caused her husband so much pain, but these men obviously did. They knew, and they were just as afraid for him as she was.
“Wait just a damn second, Sam. Let Ali tell me why he’s here.”
When Sam and Ali looked at each other in concern, Kacie Jo wished they’d leave without answering.
“You better sit down, my friend.”
Placing her warm hand in his ice cold one, Kacie Jo followed Donovan to the couch and held on for all she was worth.
“Ahmad has been arrested. His trial starts next week. I’d hoped you would tell the rest of the world. But I’m sure there’s someone else….” He let his words trail off.
Beside her, Kacie Jo could feel Donovan shaking. He ran a trembling hand through his hair. “They’re trying her husband?”
He sounded torn, completely off balance.
Ali nodded. “It won’t be the first time a trial like this has taken place. But he’s a powerful man. You know they called it an accident.”
“We know it wasn’t.” Donovan’s anger was so powerful, she could feel it rolling off him in waves.
Kacie Jo wished one of these men would tell the whole story. Would tell so she could somehow help Donovan through this. Whatever it was had to be horrible beyond her imagination.
“So you came to ask me to cover the story?”
Ali nodded. “I came to ask the man I knew could preserve my sister’s memory, could make sure her life’s work continued. You’re the best, and you loved B’en Ai.”
For a moment, Kacie Jo’s breath caught in her throat. She’d honestly believed the man was going to say Donovan had loved his sister.
Donovan turned to Sam. “Who will cover it?” His question came out sharp. Angry.
“Don’t worry, Donovan.” Sam shook his head. “There are plenty of others who will jump at the chance. You’re practically on your honeymoon.”
Kacie Jo narrowed her eyes at the older man. He sounded concerned. Sounded like he cared. But it also sounded like a dare of sorts. She wanted to rip the man’s eyes out.
Donovan stood and took his hand from hers. Kacie Jo didn’t like the look in his eyes.
“How long are you here?” Donovan directed the question to Ali.
For a second, the prince didn’t answer. Instead, his eyes searched those of his friend. And then he turned to her, and Kacie Jo knew he was going to answer. “I’ll stay through tomorrow afternoon. But I have to return soon. The country’s still in upheaval after the war.”
Donovan nodded. “I’ll let you know something by noon.”
At the words Kacie Jo wanted to protest. Wanted to tell Sam and Ali to leave town tonight before they could add to his pain.
But she didn’t. Instead, she watched her husband walk his friends to the door. Sometime in the last few minutes, Donovan had come back to himself. He sounded the same. Looked the same. But something had changed.
And that something scared her almost as much as the idea that he might go back to B’en Ai. He could come back from B’en Ai. She wasn’t sure he’d ever escape what left him so shaken.
Donovan wished Kacie Jo would talk to him. But ever since they’d left Ike’s she’d spent most of her time avoiding him.
They had to talk about this. Someone had to tell the story or the world would ignore it. He needed to hear her say she understood if he had to go. Needed to hear her say she believed in him. Believed he’d be back even if he did leave. Needed to hear her say he could do this. That he wasn’t on the edge just thinking about it.
He didn’t need to hear her doing laundry and making space for him in her closet.
“Kacie Jo.”
“Hmm?”
That little hmm was packed with unspoken words. He heard everyone of them. Why was she so angry with him? He hadn’t said he was leaving.
“Kacie Jo, we need to talk.” He should go to her and make her listen, but he didn’t trust himself to stand there watching her make room for him in her life.
“Go ahead and talk, Donovan. I’m all ears.” She threw something across the room and it slammed next to the door.
Nope. She wasn’t interested in listening. He knocked on the bedroom door.
“What?” She answered, but she didn’t really want him in the room. The last time he’d walked through this door everything had changed.
He pushed it open, stepped into the room. “You okay?”
She held a floral cotton dress still on its hanger to her chest and shrugged. “They want you to go.”
He nodded. “I’m not hiding that from you, Kacie Jo. You heard them, so you know why they’re here.” Even as he said the words his brain screamed no. Only the reasons for no were jacked up. They had nothing to do with Kacie Jo. What kind of man was he?
“They’re just using you for ratings.”
She’d taken his argument and made it her own. This he could talk about. Make it about the
job and not his personal failure. “I figure that’s true about Sam. The man’s a barracuda. But Ali wants justice. He thinks I’m the man to get the job done.”
Kacie Jo tossed the dress on the bed. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you hurt.”
She knew. He balked at the word hurt. He should have never let her see his weakness. The last thing he needed was for his wife to see him as broken. Anger simmered inside him and he tried to push it away.
“What do you want, Kacie Jo?”
For a few seconds, she just stood there. Finally she answered. “I want you to tell me why a prince would cross an ocean to ask you to cover a story. I want to know what happened, Donovan.”
More than anything he wished he could forget. “No you don’t. You think you do, but you don’t. Suffice it to say Anaj’s husband should rot in jail. Hopefully, Ali’s family can ensure that ending.”
“He must think he needs you.”
The media vultures knew stories worked both ways. Viewers equaled ad revenue. War, controversy, innocent blood equaled more viewers. Anaj’s story and the subsequent war had made-for-TV written all over them. For Ali it was far more personal. He didn’t say any of that, though.
“And Sam must think you’ll go back,” Kacie Jo continued. “He thought Ali was the magic bullet, the sure thing.”
She’d pegged Sam right off. But it didn’t matter. Sam and Ali didn’t matter. The only person who mattered was standing in front of her closet throwing an old softball mitt into a bag of keepsakes.
Donovan crossed the room and pulled her to him. The hug as much for him as for her. “Sam’s clueless, Kacie Jo. He doesn’t know about us. He doesn’t know how I feel about you.”
As she relaxed against his chest, the tension eased from her.
“I wish you could tell me, Donovan. And not about what happened to Anaj. I saw the news. I heard the stories. I’m talking about you. What happened to you?”
Donovan wondered if he’d ever find the words that explained what happened to him. He fully believed he’d lost his soul. But Kacie Jo had given it back. Kacie Jo and the baby.