“We can’t let you live,” Wood says.
The vampire closes his eyes and I force myself to not feel for a monster like him. “I know. Give me a quick death.”
I look at Wood and he nods, his lips pursed. Moving to the vamp, I pull the stake out of his stomach and lurch it into his heart. I scowl when the blood runs out of his mouth.
“This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” Wood says regretfully as the life…or undead life leaves the vampire’s body.
“It’s not. But he would have gone back to whomever he was getting his orders from and told him what we knew. We couldn’t let that happen.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, eyes somber.
“Let’s finish this. We need to call Dad.”
The smell of burning vampire corpses doesn’t bring me joy tonight. In fact, it smells a little like loss and not so much like a victory.
I’ve been returning to The Nest for about three weeks now, hoping to see her. I don’t go inside, I sit in my car and pray every time a car pulls up that it’s her. I torture myself with the possibility just to make sure she’s okay. Not that I’d talk to her. I just want to know she’s safe.
The flower shop is my first stop of each morning. I make an effort to keep tabs on her during the day, but that’s not really when it’s problematic.
I haven’t seen McKenna in days—nineteen…nineteen days. And I have to admit, I kind of miss her. I hate that I miss her. We didn’t spend much time together, but I miss the way her mouth quirked as we talked about something that interested her. But God help me, I even miss the way she looked at me when I told her goodbye, the certainty that we were never going to see each other again. She tried to mask it. She tried to look tough, but I saw the sorrow. And it was probably the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in a long time.
I’m beginning to wonder if she thinks I’ve abandoned her. I mean, I have. That was always my intention. I never planned on taking it too far. I know I told her I’d stay in touch and that we would find ways to see each other, but that was just my way of sparing her feelings. As a matter of fact—I didn’t even get the chance to get her number. Which probably for the best. No attachments, no burdens. Sure, I’d like to get to know her, but with the Leaders watching her every move, it’s best I try and steer clear of her.
It’s not prudent for her to know of my presence, honestly. I’m simply following orders.
I need to remember that, too. Maybe if I tell myself enough times, I’ll actually begin to believe it. I wanted to talk to her for purely selfish reasons, and until I could reevaluate, I needed to stay away.
Wood left a few days ago to track down another coven of witches and I was told, in a very firm voice, by my Dad, to contact McKenna and get the location of any other Strix. I was half-excited and half-annoyed. I’d set these boundaries with McKenna, and dad was practically dangling a juicy steak in front of a lion. Me being the hungry, gluttonous lion, that is.
“We need to put men with every single coven. I think this might be bigger than we imagined,” Dad had said.
I can’t fathom a time when it’s worse than it is now, but I don’t want to bring uncertainty into her and Candy’s world. So I stayed away. They have enough to deal with as it is. Plus, I might have been putting off seeing her. It’s much easier to be the distant asshole rather than be the douche-hole who she sees constantly.
Placing my hand on the ignition to start The Sting, I’m stunned when I spot her walking to the entrance. Her normally curly red hair is pin straight and she’s got tight black jeans on. Her top is a gold color that dances off the streetlights, and her heels look downright dangerous. Sexy as hell. I groan. Dammit. No, Declan, start your car, drive back to the hotel and leave her alone. She’s safe. There’s no obvious signs of trauma, and she looks more than fine. I watch as she pulls the heavy metal door open and walks inside. My mouth pulls to the side as my thumbs anxiously tap the steering wheel. What the hell should I do? I don’t want to be so enamored with her. I want to protect her and move on. Why can’t I? I know I said I at least want the option to maybe date her, but can I really do that? No, idiot. Go home. Staring at the big metal entrance, my jaw set, angry at myself, I sluggishly get out of The Sting, double-checking, as always, to make sure I have my gun.
When I’m inside, the place is packed with people. Wall to ceiling, practically. Which makes me breathe a little easier. I can keep an eye on McKenna, but I can also blend in with the crowd.
The Ackalades must be performing again.
Quick to appear normal, like I’m here to drink and not to see McKenna, I quickly order a beer from a new bartender and walk to an empty booth in the back. I’m more than a little thankful I didn’t have to stand with the crowd of people in front of the stage.
I don’t scan the room for her. Keeping my eyes trained on the stage, I pretend to be interested about what’s to come. I spot McKenna’s sister, Candy, standing backstage, her arms crossed as she watches someone I can’t see. She licks her lips and Jared, the lead singer from the band, pulls her close, slamming his mouth to hers. My head quirks and I’m oddly fascinated; I can’t pull my eyes away. When Jared lets Candy free of his vice, she walks dreamily off the stage and down the aisle of booths toward me. I do my best to turn away from her, looking toward the wall so she won’t see my face. I force myself to be overly engrossed in a signed album just above my head when she stops and twirls around, backing up a few steps.
“You.” She points and narrows her eyes.
“Me?” I lamely attempt to act aloof.
“McKenna told me about you.”
I clear my throat, heat rising to my face. “Did she?”
Candy crosses her feet and smiles. “Hmm, you’re exactly like she described.” She sticks her hand out at me. “Declan, right?”
I look behind her, really not wanting to talk. “Uh, yeah, that’s me. You’re Candy.”
She smiles, pleased I know who she is, and sits on the other side of the booth, taking a swig of my beer. “So what’s the deal? You show up, sweep my sister off her feet, and then don’t call her.”
My eyebrows shoot up and I cough into my hand. She’s a straight shooter. I decide to go with the least dick-like answer. “I guess I forgot to get her number.” Candy shrugs, not impressed with my reasoning. Even I know it’s a lame excuse. I decide to finally listen to my dad. “I’m glad I ran into you, though.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
I guess if she’s going to be a straight shooter, I probably should be, too. “There are some things we need to talk about.”
“Pursuer duty?” A ghost of a smile crosses her face and I wrinkle my forehead. Why is she smiling? This is strictly Pursuer business. Everything else is just…not a good idea.
“What the?” McKenna stops in front of the table looking confused and a bit baffled. “Declan? What are you doing here? I thought you left.”
Candy swiftly slides out of the booth and shoves McKenna in her spot. “See you later, big sister. Have fun.” She looks to me, pointing. “Be good.”
I breathe an annoyed sigh watching Candy walk away and clasp my hands together on the table.
McKenna fidgets with her top, pulling it up. When she’s satisfied, her gold eyes look to me. Like some sort of shield, she wraps her arms around her middle.“Hi,” she finally says.
I don’t say anything, my jaw twitching. I drag my eyes away from her, forcing myself to look down at the table. I can feel the red anger rushing up my neck to my face. I’m mad at myself for coming in here and I’m even more pissed that seeing her makes me happy. I shake my head, rubbing the back of my head irritably.
She sighs, her lips pursed. Making my eyes leave the tattered table, we stare at each other. Her confused eyes and my heated ones. They refuse to look away. And oddly, in any other circumstances, the silence would be far too loud, but with her, I kind of like it. Sure, I’m moody as hell and want to walk out of the bar, but it also feels good to be around her again.
The crowd around
us begins to rumble and scream when the band takes the stage. McKenna winces and I worry if the skittish look in her eyes is because of me or because that’s just who she is. I don’t know her well enough to know the difference.
Seeing her like that, jumpy and a little scared, it breaks down a couple of bricks in my walls. I shake my head and attempt to talk myself out of doing something stupid. Tell her you need to talk to her and Candy, and that’s it. Do your job.
Unable to help myself, I get up from my seat and walk around to her side, offering my hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
Oh, there’s stupid. Hey there, old friend.
Her eyes skirt to the side like a wild animal, and I can tell in her stance she isn’t sure. Not that I blame her. I’m not even sure. I probably mirror her anxiety.
She chews on her lip.
I shake off my uncertainty, if I’m going to do something, I’m sure as hell going to do it right. The chips are falling. Might as well let them fall wherever they want now. “Do you trust me, McKenna?” I ask loudly over the bustle.
The drums pound and Jared’s voice pours into the background, making McKenna blink at the noise. “I probably shouldn’t.”
She totally shouldn’t.
I sit down, getting as close to her as possible. The proximity to her body sets mine ablaze and I hate it does that. All I want to do is tell her to go home so I can forget about wanting to know more about her. Instead, I shrug a shoulder. “Probably not, but I’m really hoping that won’t stop you.”
She looks down, attempting to hide her frown.
“Come with me, Mighty. Let’s go. Let’s just drive. Roll the windows down and find a place where even the radio doesn’t work.” Maybe it’ll be good to get her alone. Really try and figure out what’s going on.
Liar, I chastise myself, you want her and you just won’t admit it.
She sighs, shaking her head. Her eyes flutter closed for a few seconds and when she opens them to look at me, they appear dejected. “Why?”
Why? Christ, that’s a loaded question.
Neither of us wanted this or asked for it. I don’t want to burden her with my constant absence. My intention was never to make her life worse.
So, why? Because it’s the only thing I want for myself at this very moment.
“McKenna…” I start, ready to plead my case.
“No, Declan.” She tries to move farther from me, scooting toward the wall. “No.”
My hand immediately goes to her face, and I caress her cheek with my thumb. I’m crossing all lines I had put up with myself. I should pull away, it’s wrong, yet, there my hand stays, stroking her soft skin. “My Mighty.” Her eyes soften. “Come with me.”
She takes a deep breath, her eyes less wild now. She pushes her face into my hand. “How are you able to do that? Make me feel so at ease? It’s not fair.” She taps on the table with her fingers. “I can’t allow myself to be the spontaneous girl, Declan. I can’t. That’s not who I am. Going to Greece? It was—incredible.” She smiles, but her expression is quickly replaced with her frown. “But I’ve known you a couple weeks and I already feel something. I’m constantly second guessing myself. One minute you seem into me and then the next you’re looking like you want to haul ass out of here.” She pulls away from my hand. “I’m a masochist.”
I exhale. “You’re not a masochist.” I’m just an asshole.
“Look at us, Declan. What are we doing? We don’t even really know each other. We had one great day together. That’s it. And now I’m trusting you and going with you wherever you go at the drop of a hat? That’s not me. I don’t just kiss guys. Ever. I’m too old for this crap. I have the Leaders breathing down my back and my Spirit Guide is nothing short of confusing. You’re asking me to leave with you to do who knows what…it’s too much. Declan, I don’t want to be your friend. Don’t ask me to do that.”
I lick my lips. “Everything you said is true. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what can happen. I’m living moment to moment at this point. One second I think I can allow you to just be a client and then the next I can’t stop myself from imagining the taste of your lips. What we’re doing is screwed up and I’m just as confused as you are. But maybe two uncertain people can somehow find something meaningful within each other. There’s one thing for certain, I have no intention of starting any sort of friendship with you, Mighty. I’m not asking for forever, either. I just want to drive.”
She doesn’t speak for what feels like days. Instead, her pupils dilate and her breathing becomes heavier. “That’s it?” she questions wearily. “Just drive.”
I nod.
She blushes and looks down at where my leg is touching hers. How it got there, I have no idea. “You don’t want forever?” She sounds so vulnerable.
Do I want forever? Not if I can help it. Forever is subjective for Pursuers. Forever is too much of a commitment. It’s a foreign word, brought on by repulsed expressions and rolling eyes.
I shake my head, willing her to understand this isn’t going to lead to a relationship. If anything, I’m only good for a couple of romps in the sack and an empty side of the bed.
Thoughtful, she nods. “Forever is a long time. Driving sounds pretty good right about now.”
I laugh for the first time since I walked into this bar. “It does, doesn’t it?”
She smiles.
I can’t give her forever, but I can give her tonight.
“And that’s all? No more?” she questions, her voice little--vulnerable.
“For now, at least.”
I just did it again.
Dammit, Declan.
The air smells different at night. It’s crisper and light, and maybe even a little fairy-tale like. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
I know the real reason why it feels unusual.
It’s Declan. Though we agreed nothing major would come out of our little excursion, I’m excited nonetheless.
Maybe it’s his hypnotizing eyes and the slight curl in his hair. The way he looks so youthful when he lets his guard down. Like now when he’s doing one of the things he loves most. Driving his car down a long, empty highway. It could be the way he walks with such purpose—even if he doesn’t know it. He commands a room without saying a word. The quiet power he exudes.
Something within him ignited something fierce inside me. I don’t need forever, but I want right now. I want it so bad.
When he left a few weeks ago, we didn’t exchange numbers. We didn’t do the proper first date things. He left with an air of uncertainty.
I guess on some level; I was okay with that. For as into him as I was, maybe watching him leave showed me something important. I could like someone enough to see a future. Even if that meant just being friends with the one I’d like to explore more with.
In this bizarre way, I feel as if I’ve known him my entire life. Hell, for all I know, maybe I knew him in past life. He almost speaks to a part of me I thought was dead—or dormant. It scares me, but it’s also kind of thrilling.
“What are you thinking over there, Mighty?” Declan inquires, keeping his eyes trained on the road, the wind blowing through his thick hair.
“Nothing,” I say. “Where are we going?”
He looks at me with a skeptical expression and licks his lips. “I told you. We’re going to drive.”
I level my eyes. “That’s all you’re going to give me?”
“Listen, I’d like to take you somewhere where you can be you. Somewhere where I can…”
“Murder me?” I laugh and he takes a firm grasp on my thigh, squeezing hard.
“Not even close. I just want to go someplace quiet. Somewhere where we can talk.”
I move my eyes to him, skeptical. “Just like that?”
His forehead creases. “Just like what?”
“How do you do it? How do you come and go from people’s lives and not get attached?”
“It’s usually pretty easy.”
With my e
yes trained on my leg, I smile. Usually? Taking hold of the handle, rolling my window down, I revel in the carefree feeling coming from deep within me.
Nothing more needed to be said, the wind blows inside the cab, putting me at ease. I can’t stop my head from falling back onto the seat and closing my eyes.
There’s something oddly beautiful about an open highway and a cool night. Not to mention, a fast car and a gorgeous boy.
I chance a quick peek at him. I’m so in for it.
My inner-teenager is baffled. Why is he so pretty?
An hour passes, maybe two. We fly down deserted roads and little stretches of highway, chatting whenever we feel like talking. He asks questions about my past.
Where I went to school. Hobbies I have. The first car I had when I turned sixteen. That particular answer made him laugh out loud. Apparently a brown Ford Probe was funny to him. And I guess for the mind of a boy, it totally would be. I found myself cracking up along with him. He asked about my parents and what kind of people they were. And as I told how kind and loving they’d been and how they pushed me to be the person I was most comfortable being. I couldn’t help but feel their absence all over again. Washing over me like a cocoon of sorrow. They’d be so interested in Declan and the work he does to keep our world safe. We also delved into my job at the flower shop and my duties as a Strix. He found it so interesting and went as far as to say that I was somehow doing more for souls than he was. In which, I told him he was crazy. I simply gave the options, while he was out fighting the bad, rescuing people. After long deliberations, we decided to agree to disagree.
Oddly enough, it was enjoyable to talk about myself a little bit. I’m fairly quick to turn a conversation around, but with Declan, I wanted him to know more. I was okay with oversharing.
Though I liked allowing Declan to see new sides of me, I think the most important thing that occurred along those sections of highways, was the things I learned about him. Little things. Things other people wouldn’t care about but I found endearing. Like how he accidentally flipped his dad’s truck in the driveway of his house just a day after he got his drivers license. And the remorse he felt for totaling his dad’s favorite vehicle. Or how he loved his childhood dog, Angus, so much, he cried when he passed away. The intense protectiveness he has for Wood humbled me more than I could have ever imagined. It was easy to see myself in him in that aspect. The way his love overflowed for his family and his self-promise that he’d always put them first. No matter the case. It left me in awe. And more than anything, I felt for him and the life he was shoved in to. The constant training and endless hours of research in order to be a Pursuer, it didn’t sound like the easiest profession. But even with the struggles that came along with it, I could tell in his eyes, the way he got so animated when he talked about cases he’d solved or families he’d helped, he loved his job and wouldn’t want to do anything else in life.
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