by Jody Hedlund
Deep inside, though, Alex knew those were all excuses. The truth was, he’d seen something in Tessa’s eyes on a couple of occasions. He was afraid to call it love, yet he was convinced that she felt something for him. Too bad he’d spurned her and turned away from anything she might offer him so that Michael could have her.
And now he was afraid to approach her for fear that she’d reject him all over again. It would serve him right for having neglected to win her when he’d had the chance, though part of him knew he’d make the sacrifice for his brother again, if Michael showed even the slightest inclination toward her. But all week Michael hadn’t mentioned her name once. He’d poured out all of his attention on Ingrid and Gunnar, spending more time with them in one week than he had since before Rachel had died.
As another young man with a toothy grin called out his bid on Tessa’s box, Alex took a step away from the tree. Now was his time. He needed to capture her undivided attention and, while he had it, make his declaration of undying love.
He stuffed his hand in his pocket and fingered the wad of bills he’d brought with him. Twenty dollars. It was everything he’d saved from offering sled rides over the winter, plus the deposits some of the miners had put down on the pups.
It wasn’t enough to pay for Ingrid’s surgery, but they were getting closer to the goal. With the way Tessa had cleaned up the keeper’s cottage during her stay, they had a good chance of winning the superintendent’s Efficiency Star and the cash reward that came with it. Only another month’s wait. By summer’s end they should have enough money saved for the surgery.
He shoved the wad deeper in his pocket. He couldn’t spend any of it now, not when they were nearing the point of having enough.
“I’ll pay twenty-five dollars” came a voice Alex knew all too well.
Gasps arose from the crowd at the exorbitant amount. When most of the other boxes had sold for mere pennies, twenty-five dollars was a serious amount.
Alex jerked back under the tree and stared at the speaker—Michael. His brother was standing and handing an openmouthed Mr. Benney a roll of cash similar to the one Alex had in his pocket. Michael must have cleared his half out of the canister in the cottage and brought it today too.
The smile of delight that lit Michael’s face sent Alex’s pulse skittering on a wild downward spiral. Speechless, he could only watch as Michael took the elegantly decorated box from Mr. Benney and then made his way over to Tessa.
Tessa smiled at him with a relief that cut through Alex’s heart. He fell back against the tree trunk. He wanted to pull out his money and outbid his brother. On second thought, even if he’d had more than twenty-five, he wasn’t sure he could walk over and claim Tessa away from Michael. He longed to have her for himself. He loved her and needed her. But if Michael needed her more, how could he selfishly stand in his brother’s way?
Burying a cry of despair, Alex ducked away from the tree. And without a backward glance, he started down the path that led away from town.
“Father, you should have let someone else have a chance to bid on my box,” Victoria said with a smile.
Mr. Cole chuckled. “What, and give up the opportunity to enjoy lunch with the prettiest lady and the prettiest box here?”
Tessa was still too shocked to speak. Mr. Cole had bid one hundred dollars for Victoria’s box. One hundred dollars that would go toward a new house the community had agreed to build for the Eagle Harbor schoolteacher. In fact, they’d already drawn up plans and had a plot picked out for the house just a block away. All the proceeds from the box-lunch social would go to help defray the costs.
Her heart swelled with thankfulness at all that had happened over the past week. She gazed with satisfaction at the families seated on blankets all around the yard, then at the children playing Fox and Geese in front of the school. All of them had come out to support her and raise money for her new home.
Thank you, God. Again her heart whispered the prayer that had been ongoing all week.
Mr. Cole had given the miners several days as paid holiday, so that everyone would have the chance to speak their piece about Percival if they wanted. The line to meet with Mr. Cole had stretched out the front door of his house for three days straight.
Percival was locked up in prison, awaiting his transport downstate, which Mr. Cole had promised to personally oversee. She was sad to see Samuel readying himself to accompany his brother. He was confused and worried and certainly had no idea that he’d been the one to set the changes in motion with his simple confession about the oilcan.
Nevertheless, Tessa was proud of all her friends for finding the courage to come forward. She’d never cried, laughed, or hugged so much as she had that week with Nadine, Hannah, and all the others who’d finally been able to find forgiveness and release for all the hurt they’d experienced over the years.
Although they thanked her for bringing about Percival’s demise and for instituting some long overdue changes in their community, she thanked them for showing her the true meaning of grace. They’d accepted and loved her even when they’d known the worst about her. She realized she had as much to learn from them, perhaps even more, than they had to learn from her.
“Are you ready?” Michael asked as he stood patiently by her side, holding her boxed lunch. His smile was gentle, somehow different. Tessa could tell that the weeks in jail had changed him, had given him an inner strength that hadn’t been there before.
She nodded and tried to push down the disappointment before he could take note of it. She hadn’t expected Michael to bid. He’d seemed content on his blanket, talking with Hannah next to him. In fact, she’d even noticed Ingrid sitting on Hannah’s lap at one point and wondered if perhaps Hannah would ever consider trusting a man again. Certainly she’d find no one better than Michael.
Tessa had prayed and hoped for Alex to step forward and bid on her lunch. She’d noticed him hovering at the back of the crowd in the shade of a tree, watching the festivities with an amused smile.
When the bidding had started for her box, she’d held her breath and waited for him to shout out his claim. She hadn’t wanted to share the lunch with anyone but him. Of course, he hadn’t made a peep. She shouldn’t have been surprised or disappointed that he’d let her go again. Not after the way he’d resisted her all week.
But she was disappointed anyway, even though she knew it was for the best. She’d have to give up her teaching job to be with him. And even at the present she missed him enough that she might just do it, she couldn’t keep from wondering if eventually she’d resent the sacrifice.
She stifled a sigh and forced a smile for Michael. At least Michael had given the highest bid. If she had to eat with anyone else, she much preferred Michael. After paying so much money for her boxed lunch, he deserved a nice meal with her, not one where she was distracted and thinking about Alex the whole time.
“Are you sure you don’t want Ingrid and Gunnar to join us?” she asked.
Michael glanced to where the children were running and playing games. Ingrid was hobbling on her crutch but was giggling along with the other girls. Tessa had never seen Ingrid so happy and carefree. A lump formed in Tessa’s throat. Michael’s love was the best medicine for his daughter. Even if she was never able to have surgery, she’d be happy as long as Michael was there showering his love on the little girl.
“I’d like a few minutes alone with you, Tessa,” Michael said. “If you don’t mind.”
Victoria’s smile widened knowingly. “Father and I will keep an eye on the children,” she offered with a wink at Tessa. “Now be on your way and enjoy yourselves.”
She wouldn’t dampen Michael’s or Victoria’s enthusiasm now by telling them she wasn’t interested in Michael. She couldn’t today, not with all the excitement and happiness that surrounded her. But she would need to break the news to Michael at some point, and soon.
It wasn’t that she resisted the idea of marrying a lightkeeper anymore. In some ways, she sensed that
God found some humor in taking her I won’t ever’s and turning them into I will’s. She wasn’t about to say no to God again. If He wanted her to be a lightkeeper’s wife, she’d do it. Just not with Michael, for she wasn’t in love with him.
Tessa took several steps after Michael, then stopped. “Wait,” she called to Victoria as she hurried to a supply basket she’d stashed under the table. She lifted the cover, and her fingers brushed against the rough grain of wood.
All week she’d thought about the cross and the startling revelation that Mr. Cole had been the one to carve it. Mr. Henry Cole had been the same Henry that Isabelle Thornton had fallen in love with, the man she thought she’d lost. In the end, Isabelle placed her hope in God rather than dwell on her circumstances and the frightening prospect that she might go blind someday just as her mother had. The letter had never explained whether she’d married Henry. And it had never explained what had become of her, whether she’d eventually become blind.
It was clear now that Isabelle had married Henry, and that they had a beautiful daughter as a result of their union. But had she gone blind?
Tessa caressed the cross one last time before straightening and walking back to Mr. Cole and Victoria. She handed it to Victoria. “I’d like you to have this.” Even though Tessa had debated giving the cross to Josie, somehow she felt the cross needed to go back to the Coles.
Victoria’s light brown eyes widened. She reached out to take the cross, but then hesitated and glanced at her father as though asking his permission before touching it.
Mr. Cole looked Tessa in the eyes. “You don’t have to give it to Victoria. It’s yours.”
Tessa shook her head. “No. It’s never been mine to keep. It’s given me hope when I needed it most, and now it’s time for me to pass it along.”
Mr. Cole nodded. “Thank you. I’d like to pass along that same hope to Victoria. Who knows, but maybe she’ll have need of it someday.”
As Victoria’s fingers closed around the wood cross, a look of wonder and delight filled her eyes.
Tessa had the urge to ask her more about Isabelle. But as Victoria smiled and bent to kiss her father’s forehead, Tessa knew with sudden clarity that it didn’t matter. Blind or not, Isabelle had shown them all how to make God their beacon of hope.
Tessa strolled off with Michael. She paused for only a moment at the thought of being alone with him. Perhaps it was time to stop worrying so much about what other people thought about her. God had forgiven her for her past, and now she was doing her best to live uprightly with integrity. That was all that mattered, all that she could do.
Michael led her down the road away from town, a blanket over one arm, her box in the other. A companionable silence surrounded them. With each step, Tessa breathed in the sweet scent of the budding leaves and grass and newly awakened bloodroots. The tiny white flowers poked between the withered leaves left on the ground from last fall. They were stout, hardy plants that had weathered the harsh winter. If they could flourish in this land, why couldn’t she?
She’d thought she would need to leave Eagle Harbor, that the long winter had defeated her, but perhaps she’d been wrong. She didn’t want to leave anymore.
As Michael directed her to a path that led uphill the sunshine streamed through the branches overhead, bleaching his hair. The color and texture was so much like Alex’s that longing for him swelled in her chest.
Michael glanced at her over his shoulder and smiled almost mysteriously. “Are you doing all right?”
Once again she tried to hide her disappointment. She forced a return smile and nodded. “Where are you taking me?”
“Copper Falls. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” She lightened her voice. “You paid twenty-five dollars for my lunch. I can’t complain in the least.” Except that he wasn’t Alex.
Almost as if Alex had heard her, he came bounding down the trail in front of them. His footsteps were heavy, sending dried leaves and twigs cascading along the path.
Michael stopped so quickly that Tessa almost bumped into him.
“Don’t go a step farther,” Alex boomed, closing the distance like a charging bull. He didn’t halt his rapid descent until he was mere inches from Michael. His face was flushed, his hair mussed, and his eyes flashed wildly.
Michael didn’t move.
“I have a few things I need to say to you.” Alex towered over his brother. Although his expression was grave, his strong features appeared more striking than ever. He nodded to the upward path. “In private.”
Michael shook his head. “Whatever you have to say to me, I’m sure Tessa needs to hear it too.”
Alex glanced at her briefly, but it was enough for her to see the agony in his eyes.
“Fine,” he ground out. “If that’s the way you want to do this.”
“Yes, it is.”
Alex sucked in a breath. He jammed his fingers into his hair and stared at the canopy of leaves above them. For a moment he didn’t say anything. Finally he blurted, “You can’t have Tessa. I love her. I always have. And I can’t sacrifice her for you, no matter how much I want to. I’m sorry. I just can’t do it.”
Tessa’s heartbeat tapered to a halt. He loved her? He wasn’t giving her up after all?
Michael shrugged. “I know that already.”
Alex’s lips stalled around the response he’d had ready to sling back. Instead he stammered, “Then why did you pay half of our savings to have lunch with her?”
“Because you weren’t bidding, you dolt,” Michael said wryly. “And I didn’t want any other man to monopolize her.”
“So why are you coming out here with her?”
“I saw that you headed out this way and figured you’d hiked up to the falls to pout.” Michael’s tone was laced with humor. “I was bringing her out here to be with you.”
For long seconds neither of the brothers said anything. Tessa couldn’t think. Her muscles wouldn’t move. Only her heart seemed to be working, and at twice the normal speed.
Then Alex’s lips cracked into a lopsided grin. “You mean to tell me you used half our savings to get me together with Tessa?”
“That’s right.”
Alex gave Michael a playful punch in the arm. “You’re crazy.”
“No, you’re the crazy one,” Michael said, punching Alex back. “You keep trying to make me happy, and I told you that you need to stop it.”
“I am stopping. I can sacrifice many things for you, brother. But I can’t sacrifice the woman I love. I won’t do it. I’ll fight you for her if necessary.” Alex’s eyes met hers above Michael’s shoulder. The love within them shone as brightly as the lighthouse beam on the darkest, stormiest night. It broke through her confusion and heartache and filled her with a warm glow. He’d come back for her. He hadn’t given her up. And he’d been willing to fight for her.
“You don’t have to fight me,” Michael said. “Although once I get back from Detroit, you may fight me when I insist that you leave the lighthouse.”
“Back from Detroit?”
Michael nodded. “Mr. Cole is paying for Ingrid’s surgery.” His voice broke as he shared the news.
“He’s what?”
“He knows a specialist in Detroit, and he’s making arrangements to have the surgery done. He wants to cover the entire bill, including the steamer passage and housing while we’re in Detroit.”
Tessa’s throat clogged with emotion. No wonder Michael had been willing to spend his savings to bid on her boxed lunch.
Alex’s Adam’s apple rose up and down, and he wiped his hand across his eyes.
“I need you to stay here and run the lighthouse while I’m gone,” Michael continued. “And I’d like to name Tessa as your assistant keeper.”
Alex glanced at Tessa and started to shake his head. Michael cut him off. “Just until we return. Then I’m firing you both.”
Tears welled in Tessa’s eyes, and she had to blink them back before she embarrassed herself
. She could see that Michael wanted to protect her from the lighthouse, and she loved him for it. But she’d have time later to explain that she didn’t mind anymore, for God had helped her overcome her fears.
“You can’t fire me,” Alex said, though rather weakly.
“You’ve helped me long enough,” Michael said with a tender smile. “In fact, I’ve taken advantage of your kindness, and it’s time for that to stop as well. Ingrid and Gunnar need me to be a strong father. They need a man who can stand on his own two feet. And I won’t be able to do that if I’m always relying on you.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to kick me out,” Alex said, attempting to add mirth to his voice.
“It’s time for you to be free to pursue your dreams, to start the dog-breeding business you’ve always wanted.”
Alex didn’t respond except to swallow hard again.
Michael only smiled.
“I guess that means Alex will be free to take my evening class,” Tessa said with a laugh.
Alex shook his head. “No way. I’m not taking your evening class.”
Tessa tilted her head and studied him, seeing past his teasing. “You know that I admire you for who you are, not for what you can or cannot do.” She hoped he could see that she’d come to respect the mining community. While she still believed education was important, she’d grown to realize it didn’t define a person.
Alex grinned. “What I mean is that I’m not taking an evening class with a bunch of other men when I can have private lessons. Very private.”
Heat speared her stomach. The dimple in his chin combined with his strong jaw and perfect nose made her think again as she had when she’d first met him that he was much too attractive for any one man. “I only give private lessons to good scholars,” she teased. “Not naughty ones.”