Give Me Hope

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Give Me Hope Page 8

by Zoey Derrick


  I sidestep the chair and the bed, walking around to come up on Dr. Alston’s right.

  “Look.” She holds out her hand. A couple of thick staples rest on her palm.

  I look at the area under the bandage. “What on earth? It’s practically gone.” In place of what was probably an angry red incision just yesterday is a faint, nearly perfectly healed line about an inch and a half long.

  “I’ve heard of - and even seen - some fast healers, but I’ll be damned if I’ve ever seen anything this fast.” She slowly pulls the rest of the gauze aside and rolls Vivienne forward just a bit.

  SERAPHINA! SERAPHINA! DAMN IT, WHERE ARE YOU?

  My skin is on fire as I take in what is across her back. Suddenly it all clicks into place.

  “Has that always been there?” I ask Dr. Alston.

  “Has what?”

  SERAPHINA!

  Damn it. No wonder. “Nothing. Thought I saw something.”

  No Goddamn wonder why my parents could never get anyone to do anything about my back when I was a kid.

  SERAPHINA!

  They couldn’t see it. I could see it. And Mom could see it, for reasons I now know. But Dad...did Dad ever see it? That would explain why he never asked to see my back after Mom died.

  SERAPHINA! Now is not the time to disappear on me. I’m gonna wring her damn neck. SERAPHINA! Damn it, where is she?

  “I’m going to order an x-ray of her arm and shoulder. See what is going on in there.” I just nod and move out her way. “Hey, you okay?”

  The excited pulsing has not calmed down one bit since I stood up a moment ago. “Yeah, why?”

  “You look very distracted.”

  “I’m a little jolted by the whole healing thing.”

  “So am I. But I doubt that there is a test in the world that can tell me how or why. All I know is that it has and...” She just shrugs.

  “You completely baffle me with your nonchalance. Most doctors would be thinking of a way to exploit a miracle like that.”

  She laughs. “Mikah, let me tell you something about that.”

  I sit gingerly on the side of the bed, giving her my full attention.

  “I didn’t go to medical school to be a doctor so that I could become rich and famous. I became a doctor because it gives me a great opportunity help those in need. I specialized in obstetrics because I love babies and I’m thoroughly fascinated by the way we grow and develop in the womb, but I don’t think that the little miracles we see everyday are cause for exploitation. I will just be amazed by it. And maybe do a little research about it,” she admits, “because eventually the curiosity will take over. But in the end, I will do nothing to take advantage of it. I’ve seen a lot in my time that I can’t explain, and I’d rather spend my time on something that I can explain or fix than something that is solving itself.” She smiles at me, warm and genuine.

  “I wish there were more doctors like you.”

  She chuckles a bit. “I love my job. And her. I fell in love with her when she was here a couple of months ago. She is an intelligent, gorgeous young lady who deserves to have her past wiped away and a future that is bright and full of prosperity, hope and love. Never forget that, Mikah.”

  She places her hand on my shoulder, squeezes briefly. “She’s an angel. She deserves to be treated like one,” she says as she leaves the room.

  “Oh, you have no idea how right you are,” I mumble.

  Then, in my loudest silent mental shout: SERAPHINA!

  Thirty-One

  Instantly my back is ablaze and the feeling of fullness has returned.

  What the hell took you so long?

  “What?”

  I’ve been screaming for you for at least the last five minutes. What took you so long?

  I can’t shake the image of Vivienne’s back from my mind.

  Seraphina catches on to what I’m thinking about. “Vivienne?” she asks.

  I turn back to the bed and pull back the covers, gently pushing her hip to move her forward.

  Peeking out between the gaps of the hospital gown are clear markings of wings that resemble my own.

  “Explain this to me?” I say aloud. “What on earth is going on with her?” How is this even possible?

  “Sit down, young one, and I will show you.”

  I’d rather stand up.

  “No, sit down and I will show you.”

  Reluctantly, I step back from the bed, walk back around to my chair and take a seat.

  “Get comfortable. Relax.”

  Instinct has me on edge because I don’t know what to expect. But I lean forward to rest my head on the bed. My right hand plays with a strand of Vivienne’s hair while the other one is rests along her arm.

  “Close your eyes.”

  I do as she tells me, but I can feel the anxiety rising.

  “Relax, young angel. I will not harm you. You’ve already seen most of this.”

  The dreams? I relax almost instantly; this is something I’ve wanted to see since Red woke me up this morning. I take a deep breath, filling my lungs, and then slowly exhale.

  Suddenly I’m back in the white room on my knees – I can feel the hard floor digging into them. I open my eyes.

  Standing behind me is a beautiful, pale-faced Vivienne, her red hair curling down her back, bright against all this white. Atop her head is a tiara, resting right along her hairline. In the center of the circlet is a shiny white opal surrounded by a beautiful silver Celtic design that extends into her hair.

  My heart melts. She is simply stunning.

  Her dress is white, with silver accents along the bodice. The design is flowery, with a beaded band directly below her breasts. Two thin straps, accented with the same style of beadwork, go up and over her shoulders. Coming off the straps is sheer chiffon that extends down beyond my line of sight.

  Looking a little closer, I see that she looks healthier, filled out in her face, and her arms look well toned.

  “You look beautiful, A chuid den tsaol.” My voice is not what I expect to hear; it has an echoing quality.

  She smiles back at me in the mirror. “Close your eyes.”

  I close my eyes and can feel her moving around me. Her hand trails feather-light along my wing; the pleasure it brings is breathtaking. She caresses my wing from where it comes out of my back all the way to the tip, and by the time she reaches the tip, I’m on the verge of losing control. But yet I feel rooted in my spot.

  I feel the air shift as she comes to stand on my right. “Turn toward me.”

  With the sensation of her touch still pulsing through my body, it is hard to coordinate my movements and turn. I let my shoulders drop slightly, and I feel a rush of air as my wings fold inward. I lift my face but keep my eyes closed as I feel a finger trace lightly along the bridge of my nose down to the tip. Then her finger presses against my lip and I kiss the pad.

  She gently lays her palm against my cheek. I lean into her touch, desperate to open my eyes, but I keep them closed, relishing the sensation of her warm touch against my skin. I raise my right hand and hold hers against my face, weaving my fingers in between hers.

  “Keep your eyes closed and give me your hand,” she says, the sound of bells in her voice.

  I lift my hand slowly, remembering the way she’s flinched before, but my caution proves unnecessary. I can feel her other hand shift, and then her knees rub along mine as she kneels.

  She gently takes my other hand in hers and says, “Open your hand flat.”

  I do as she asks and she tugs on my arm. I feel her warmth beneath my fingers, and at my fingertips I can feel the cool metal of her circlet and her cheek pressing into my palm.

  She leans into my touch.

  My heart soars and warm tears stream down my cheeks as I take in the magnitude of the gesture: She’s just allowed me to touch her face. I feel her fingers along the back of mine as she press my hand to her.

  “Do not cry.” I can hear the emotion in her voice, and a moment later I
feel her own tears.

  I release her hand against my cheek and bring it up to meet her other cheek. Eyes still shut, cupping her face in my hands, I rise up onto my knees.

  I feel a soft nudge against my stomach and then feel her press into me. My body becomes a live wire as our bodies draw closer to each other.

  She lifts her chin.

  I slowly lower my mouth, seeking hers.

  When we connect, a surge of pleasure and hope courses through my body; it is almost uncontrollable.

  She presses her hands against mine for a moment, holding them against her cheeks, and her fingers weave in between my own. I can feel her tug slightly as I kiss her again, lingering longer this time. Then she pulls my arms past her shoulders until they bump into something behind her. She slowly lowers my hands onto an object. The surge of desire flies through me once again as I come in contact with something hard surrounded by soft velvet.

  My eyes fly open and I gasp. “Vivienne.”

  “Don’t stop,” she says breathily, and I gently slide my hands along the pure white feathers of her wings.

  Looking down at her, reality becomes clear. This is the future. Our future.

  “She will be our banphrionsa.” The voice that comes now is not Vivienne’s but a different female voice that comes with some sense of recognition, but yet not familiar.

  “Princess?” How is this even...

  I let the thought trail away and close my eyes. When I open them again, Vivienne has vanished. I turn quickly, looking for her, and realize that my wings have also gone.

  I spin back around. In the spot where Vivienne stood just a moment ago is another woman. A familiar woman.

  I stumble backwards.

  “Mom?”

  “Yes, baby.” Her voice radiates with emotion.

  I can’t speak as I steady myself, looking again at the beautiful woman standing before me. She looks amazing. Her gorgeous blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and soft features are warm and inviting. She looks years younger than the pictures I have, almost like a teenager.

  “How?” I finally manage to breathe.

  In answer, she spreads her wings. “I am like you, my son. I too am an angel. Which is how you have become one.”

  “But...” I have no words, and I crumple to the floor on my knees and sit back on my feet, my hands balling into fists against my thighs.

  “There is much to learn, A leanbh, but your love is in danger, and you are the only one who can save her. The child she caries is the key to restoring the natural order bestowed upon us as aingeal. There is an imbalance among our kind, made worse by the foinse olc, the source of evil, as Satan too will breed with one that will stand by his side no matter what.

  “Your need for her is strong, your hope for her burns bright and hot. She needs you to help her, to guide her. She is pure. Despite the life she’s led, she is pure of heart. Never doubt that.”

  The breath moving in and out of my lungs is thick. “She gives me hope.”

  “As she should, my son. She should give you reason to be whole and pure yourself. You, too, know hardship. Your father did all he could for you and our family, but raising children was not his strength in life. You were forced to do it alone. Without me.”

  I snort a laugh. This is all too much to handle.

  “There is much more to learn, but know that we are here, we will help you, and when you return home, I will see to it that you have our histories at your disposal. It will help you understand your purpose. And ours...”

  Her voice trails off at the end and I look up.

  She’s gone once again.

  Thirty-Two

  I put my head in my hands. This is too much. All this angel stuff is too much to understand all at once. I don’t know how I’m going to handle all of this without going crazy. It’s surreal.

  Cool fingers on my cheek bring a zing of pleasure. Once again I put my hand over hers, only this time it’s not the soft, warm touch of before. Her fingers are almost cold, and there is something hard and rough pressing into my cheek.

  I let out a rushed breath and pull back, my eyes flying open. Bright, ice-blue eyes and a mess of beautiful red hair.

  I stand up, stumble and fall back into the chair.

  Her lips turn upwards in a smile behind the ventilator hose.

  “Is that funny to you?” I laugh and smile at her.

  She nods. Then tries to pull on the hose.

  “Don’t.” I reach for her hands to pull them back. She doesn’t flinch at my quick movements, and my heart swells once again. I take her hands in one of mine and pull the chair up close to her bed.

  A hum of hope and life and undeniable pleasure radiates through me. “I missed you.” The words are out before I can stop them.

  A faint trace of a blush kisses her cheeks.

  I notice that the natural light in the room has faded significantly. It’s later than I would have thought possible.

  “Are you in pain?”

  She shakes her head slightly.

  “I’m going to push the button for Amanda to come, okay?”

  Her eyes widen in recognition.

  “Yes, Dr. Alston and Amanda have been taking care of you.”

  She nods again, and I reach for the call button. As soon as I touch the button, there’s a commotion outside the room and the door clicks open.

  Dr. Alston comes in first, followed by Amanda.

  “Hello, Vivienne. Pleasure to see you again. Are you in any pain?”

  I watch Vivienne shake her head. I can’t take my eyes off of her. An overwhelming sense of joy is taking control of my body at the fact that she’s awake.

  She is looking at me, too.

  Dr. Alston has gone to the fetal monitor again, looking over the last foot or so of tape. “How long has she been up?”

  “I don’t know, I was sleeping against her bed. She woke me up.”

  Vivienne pulls her hand from mine and holds up five fingers.

  “Five minutes?” Dr. Alston asks. Vivienne nods, and Dr. Alston goes back to reviewing the tape.

  I look up at the baby’s monitor; the heart rate is around one-fifty. Curious, I look at Vivienne’s monitor. Sure enough, captured about five minutes ago, there is the now-familiar pattern of Vivienne’s heartbeat when I’m around. I can’t help but smile.

  Vivienne’s head moves in the same direction. I look at her and watch her roll her eyes. I laugh and she squeezes my hand. Her other hand goes back to the tube in her mouth.

  “Not just yet,” Dr. Alston says. “How do your ribs feel? Do they hurt?”

  She wiggles in the bed just a little bit, then she shakes her head.

  “What about your wrist, does it hurt?”

  She flexes her fingers, rotates her wrist and shakes her head again.

  “Is it really possible that she is healed already?”

  “Yes.” This time the voice is in my head. Seraphina again.

  You know, you could make yourself known before answering my questions.

  She laughs. “I was here when you went to sleep, remember? Not my fault if you forgot.”

  Fair enough.

  “Viv, how does your neck feel? Does it hurt?”

  She scowls at the question then she shakes her head. I’d forgotten all about the bruises around her neck. Had I remembered those, then I’d have seen, like I do now, that the marks are much fainter than they were yesterday.

  “Is she still on pain meds?” I ask, and Vivienne’s eyes meet mine again.

  “She’s on a light dose of pain meds. But I’d be able to tell if she was giving me the runaround so I’d take out the tubes. She didn’t even flinch.” She turns to Vivienne. “Alright, Vivienne, we will take out the tubes. On one condition?”

  She nods at Dr. Alston but is still looking in my direction.

  “You don’t go running a marathon at least for a few days.”

  I laugh out loud and see Vivienne’s eyes scrunch up and her shoulders shake with laughter, though sh
e doesn’t make a sound.

  “Mikah, I need you to move so Amanda can get in over there.”

  I watch Vivienne scowl at Dr. Alston, and I laugh again at her expression.

  Dr. Alston laughs in return. “He’s not going anywhere. We just need the room, okay?”

  She nods reluctantly.

  I stand up and sidestep Amanda’s approach, taking a seat at the end of the bed near Vivienne’s calves.

  Amanda has gone to work pulling back some of the tape holding the tubes in place.

  “Alright, Vivienne. Go ahead and breathe through your nose.”

  Amanda reaches over and turns off the machine.

  “Now I need you to take a big, deep breath through your nose and hold it, and then on the count of three, I want you to exhale as hard and fast as you can. Are you ready?”

  Vivienne nods.

  “Okay, breathe in.”

  With the machine off the room is silent, and I hear the air enter though her nose, past the pipe. She scowls a little at the fullness of her lungs.

  “One, two, three.”

  Thirty-Three

  On three I hear Vivienne’s rushed exhale. At the same time, Amanda holds down Viv’s shoulders and Dr. Alston pulls on the tube.

  Then Vivienne starts coughing and wincing slightly. The coughing lasts for a few moments.

  “Water?” Vivienne says in a raspy voice when she’s recovered.

  Amanda is quick to grab the cup she brought in a few moments ago.

  “Ice chips,” she says as I take the cup from her, and then she presses the button on the side of the bed to raise Vivienne to a sitting position.

  “Hi, there,” I say, handing Vivienne the ice chips.

  “Hi,” she says, still raspy.

  “How you doing?”

  She nods and puts a couple of pieces of ice into her mouth. “I’m okay.”

  “Vivienne, how are you feeling? Any pain?”

  She shakes her head. “No, but I’m really hungry.”

  I smile.

  So does Dr. Alston. “We can work on that.”

  “How long...?” She trails off, clears her throat.

  “It’s Saturday.” Dr. Alston pauses to look at her watch. “Seven twenty in the evening. You’ve been out since you came in yesterday morning.”

 

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