by Tawny Taylor
“I don’t know where to begin.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m safe. For now.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I...” She swallowed. Hard. “I tried to commit suicide.”
“Why?” Rin shouted. “Lei, ohmygod.”
“It’s a long story. And you only know part of it. I don’t want to hash it out now.”
“Does it have anything to do with ... you know?”
“In part.”
Rin didn’t speak for several seconds. “I wish you’d come to Spain.”
“A small part of me wishes I had, too.” Her hand skimmed over her flat stomach. “But another doesn’t.”
“Malek?”
“Malek.” Lei could feel the smile pulling at her lips. “We were married.”
“Oh, Lei! Are you okay?”
“I’m better than okay, though I don’t know what’s going to happen from this point on. He went back to where those men had been holding us all hostage.
Whoops.
“Hostage? What?”
“No need to panic. I’m okay. I swear. But Malek ... he said he had to try to get Talen. I don’t really want to think about what might be going on right now.” Her voice trembled. She cleared her throat. “Some of the best moments of my life have been with that man since you left. If I’d gone with you ...”
“I get it. You love him, don’t you?”
“Yes, but...” Lei blinked and fought the wave of tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “Dammit, why couldn’t he have just been a writer?”
“I know. It’s hell having to live like this.”
“Do you have any regrets?”
“No, Drako is my soul mate. He’s the only man for me. I can’t even imagine being married to anyone else.”
“I feel the same way about Malek. I trust him. Only him. I doubt that’ll ever change.”
“Then we live with the rest and take each minute at a time.”
“Yeah.” Lei heard a low rumbling voice in the background.
Rin giggled. “I gotta go, Lei. But before I hang up, tell me you’re okay, that you won’t try hurting yourself again.”
“I promise.” Her hand stroked over her belly. As long as there was even the slightest chance she might be carrying Malek’s child, she wouldn’t even consider it.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I promise,” Lei repeated. “Malek risked his life to save me. I won’t ever forget that. And I couldn’t throw away what he’s done for me. That’s exactly what I’d be doing if I killed myself now.”
“Then I thank God for Malek.”
“So do I.”
The minute the call ended, Lei was in hell. With nobody to talk to, time dragged. Minutes felt like hours. Hours like days. She fought through wave upon wave of panic. Despair followed. Then anger. And then she was back to panic again. She paced. She cried. She prayed. She promised. Still, she heard nothing from Malek.
Dawn came, and still Lei was alone. How long had he been gone? How many hours? Surely she’d have heard something from him by now, if he was okay.
A tiny voice in her head whispered something she wasn’t ready to hear, and she grabbed the TV remote and powered up the TV. The room filled with the news anchor’s voice, drowning out that irritating little voice that she hated.
She paced back and forth as the TV news reported on local traffic, weather. They reported a few school closings, then moved on to some local news. There was no mention of an arrest. No talk of a big CIA takedown. No word on Malek.
By ten, she was sitting on the bed, frozen by fear. He wasn’t coming back. She could feel it in her gut. Something had gone wrong. He was gone.
She glanced at the bag of money. Fifty thousand wasn’t much to start a new life with. Where would she go? How would she face even one day without her husband? One hour? One minute?
I can’t.
You must.
What if he’s gone?
She ran to the door and yanked it open. “Malek, where are you? I need you.”
Her gaze scanned the parking lot. The field beyond. No Malek. “I need you!” She slammed the door. Her head was pounding. She felt sick. Exhausted. Petrified. She forced herself to cut off the TV and shut off all the lights. Then, all hope lost, she buried herself in the bedding, where she could at least catch the scent of him on the pillow, and closed her eyes.
She had just started to doze off when the door lock rattled. Instantly, she was awake. She scrambled from the bed and charged at the door. In her head, she screamed, Let it be him! Let it be him!
She reached the door at the exact same time as it swung open. Her gaze jerked up.
Malek.
He was alive.
A sob tore up her throat and she threw herself into his arms.
He scooped her up, cradling her in his arms. “Lei, it’s okay ...” He murmured soothing words to her as he carried her across the room. But she was so overwhelmed with relief, she didn’t hear what he was saying. The voice in her head was too loud. He’s safe. Thank God, he’s safe. Alive! Thankgodthankgod-thankgod.
He sat on the edge of the bed, still holding her. He cupped her chin, lifting it. “Baby, do you hear me?”
“You’re okay?” Feeling something wet, sticky on his arm, she looked at her hand. “You’re bleeding?”
“I’m fine. It’s just a small scratch.”
Another sob cut off the next question sitting on the tip of her tongue.
“Everything’s okay now,” he said, smoothing her hair back from her face. “Do you hear me? We’re going to be okay.”
“Talen?”
“Safe.”
“Are you hurt anywhere else?” She studied his face, what little of his body she could see.
“No, I’m okay.”
She flung her arms around his neck again and squeezed as hard as she could. “I was so scared. It took you such a long time.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I got back here as soon as I could. I wanted to make sure Talen was safe before I left him.” He cupped her cheek. “It’s all over now. I have a car, and we’re all set to hit the road. After we get some rest.” He stood up again, carried her around the end of the bed, and set her down once again. Then he stripped off his clothes and lay with her, pulling her into his arms.
She felt nothing but absolute joy and peace as she snuggled up to his warm, hard body. He had done exactly what he’d set out to do. He’d healed her broken soul and made her whole again. And now, as long as he was at her side, she knew her nightmares were over.
26
Beautiful.
Exquisite.
Thoroughly, utterly, intoxicatingly sexy.
As deadly as a cottonmouth.
And as fiercely protective and powerful as a lion.
That was her husband, summed up in twenty concise words.
Lei couldn’t believe she was actually about to do this. Such a short time ago, it would have been impossible. She wouldn’t have been able to even consider it. But slowly, gradually, Malek had helped her work through her fears. The walls around her heart had come tumbling down. And she was free at last.
Free to love.
Free to belong.
Free to submit.
Free to become Mrs. Malek Alexandre in all ways.
She smoothed her hand over her stomach and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. The start of a baby bump was just beginning to show. Their child was growing inside of her.
And that was just one of the changes that had happened lately.
To sum things up succinctly, everything was different.
The shadows in her eyes were gone. The scars had faded, and even though the memories of the dangers they had faced were still fresh, she wasn’t afraid anymore. She had a new name. She had a new home.
But it went deeper than just a name and address. She was a new woman, a strong, intelligent, capable woman who knew what she wanted, what she needed, and was able to accept
it. She could finally be the wife Malek deserved, and the mother their child would need.
Dressed in nothing but the flowing, translucent silk gown her husband had given her for Valentine’s Day, she padded barefoot down the staircases to their private dungeon where he waited.
Outside the door, she took a final deep breath.
This was it. The time had come. She was ready to give him her most precious gift: her submission.
In she went.
The room was dimly lit, flickering candlelight creating just the right ambiance. The room smelled sweet, like vanilla and leather, and she couldn’t help inhaling deeply, especially when a set of hungry male eyes settled on her.
Lei’s gaze wandered up and down his body, taking in the full glory of his heavily muscled form. Just as he had been when she’d watched him at the public dungeon, he was wearing a black knit shirt and tailored trousers. And just like that day, he mesmerized her like no other man had ever done.
This man was not just any dom. He was the dom. Her master. Only hers. Always hers.
Primal heat sparked in Malek’s gaze, igniting a fission of erotic need inside her. Heat blazed through her body in response. How she wanted to just throw herself into Malek’s arms and beg him to take her! And yet, she couldn’t. Not until she had submitted fully.
This was the first time. She’d waited so long for this moment. She couldn’t let a little impatience ruin it.
Feeling the corners of her mouth lifting in a soft smile, she walked to the center of the room. Her gown fluttered about her as she moved, the gentle currents carrying the whisper-thin fabric fluttering around her legs.
She gave Malek one final look, took a few deep breaths, and bowed her head.
She was about to do the one thing she’d sworn she’d never be able to do. And she wasn’t nervous or scared or hesitant at all.
She eased herself down onto her knees.
There.
At last.
She’d knelt before her master. Her husband.
Eyes closed, she felt at peace. Completely and utterly calm.
Malek stepped forward. “Lei, before we begin, I need to ask you one final time. Are you certain you’re ready for this? Are you sure you can relinquish control to me? Can you trust me fully?”
“Yes, there’s not a doubt in my mind. I trust you completely. I’m ready.”
“Very good.” He circled around her, making a full three-sixty. “You look more beautiful today than I’ve ever seen you.”
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you. For trusting me when it wasn’t easy. For fighting so hard for us.”
“I needed you as much as you did me.” Breaking protocol, Lei lifted her gaze. She was glad she had. Their gazes tangled, and she was overwhelmed by the love she saw in Malek’s eyes. There could never have been any doubt that he loved her. He would protect her. He would cherish her. He would always think of her needs first, before his own.
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. “Look at me, I’m getting emotional already.”
Malek squatted down. His eyes were a little pink and watery, too. “You’re not the only one,” he whispered. He cupped her cheek. “My wife. Forever mine.”
She laid her hand over his. “Forever yours.” She pulled his hand from her face and kissed his palm. “I’m proud and eager to serve you. As master. As husband. I trust you with my body. My heart. My soul. My life.”
He returned the favor, adding a line of soft kisses up her wrist. Instantly, little tingles of pleasure prickled her skin. “And I’m proud and eager to worship you, my wife, my soul mate.” He set her hand in her lap and straightened up. “Now we begin a new journey together.” Once again, he walked around her. But this time, he stopped directly behind her. Her back warmed, as if his gaze heated it.
She arched her spine and waited, breathless and excited and impatient.
What would he do next? What pleasures would her husband, her master, show her today? Tomorrow?
She couldn’t wait to find out.
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1
1826, London, England
“Are you all right, ma’am? May I help you?”
Lady Lucinda Haymore flinched as the tall soldier came toward her, his hand outstretched and his voice full of concern. She clutched the torn muslin of her bodice against her bosom, and wondered desperately how much he could see of her in the dark shadows of the garden.
“I’m fine, sir, please ...” She struggled to force any more words out and stared blindly at the elaborate gold buttons of his dress uniform. “I’m afraid I slipped and fell on the steps and have ripped my gown.”
He paused, and she realized that he had positioned his body to shield her from the bright lights of the house and the other guests at the ball.
“If you do not require my help, may I fetch someone for you, then?”
His question was softly spoken as if he feared she might flee.
“Could you find Miss Emily Ross for me?”
“Indeed I can. I have a slight acquaintance with her.” He hesitated. “But first, may I suggest you sit down? You look as if you might swoon.”
Even as he spoke, the ground tilted alarmingly, and Lucinda started to sway. Before her knees gave way, the soldier caught her by the elbows and deftly maneuvered her backward to a stone bench framed by climbing roses. Even as she shrank from his direct gaze, she managed to get a fleeting impression of his face. His eyes were deep set and a very light gray, his cheekbones impossibly high, and his hair quite white, despite his apparent youth.
She could only pray he didn’t recognize her. No unmarried lady should be loitering in the gardens without a chaperone. Somehow she doubted he was a gossip. He just didn’t seem to be the type; all his concern was centered on her, rather than making a grand fuss and alerting others to her plight. He released her and moved back, as if he sensed his presence made her uneasy.
“I’ll fetch Miss Ross for you.”
“Thank you,” Lucinda whispered, and he was gone, disappearing toward the lights of the ballroom and the sounds of the orchestra playing a waltz. She licked her lips and tasted her own blood, and the brutal sting of rejection. How could she have been so foolish as to believe Jeremy loved her? He’d hurt her and called her a tease. Had she encouraged him as he had claimed? Did she really deserve what he had done to her?
Panic engulfed her and she started to shiver. It became increasingly difficult to breathe and she struggled to pull in air. Suddenly the white-haired stranger was there again, crouched down in front of her. He took her clenched fist in his hand and slowly stroked her fingers. She noticed his accent was slightly foreign.
“It’s all right. Miss Emily is coming. I took the liberty of hiring a hackney cab, which will be waiting for you at the bottom of the garden.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m glad I was able to be of service.”
With that, he moved away, and Lucinda saw Emily behind him and reached blindly for her hand.
“I told my aunt I was coming home with you, and I told your mother the opposite, so I think we are safe to leave,” Emily murmured.
“Good.”
Emily’s grip tightened. “Lucinda, what happened?”
She shook her head. “I can’t accompany you home, Emily. Where else can we go?”
Emily frowned. “I’ll take you to my stepmother’s. You’ll be safe there. Can you walk?”
“I’ll have to.” Lucinda struggled to her feet.
“Oh, my goodness, Lucinda,” Emily whispered. “There is blood on your gown.”
“I fell. Just help me leave this place.” Lucinda grabbed hold of Emily’s arm and started toward the bottom of the garden. She could only hope that Jeremy had returned to the ball and would not see how low he had brought he
r. She would never let him see that, never. With Emily’s help, she managed to climb into the cab and leaned heavily against the side. Her whole body hurt; especially between her legs where he had ... She pushed that thought away and forced her eyes open.
It seemed only a moment before Emily was opening the door of the cab and calling for someone named Ambrose to help her. Lucinda gasped as an unknown man carefully picked her up and carried her into the large mansion. Emily ran ahead, issuing instructions as she led the way up the stairs to a large, well-appointed bedchamber. The man gently deposited Lucinda on the bed and went to light some of the candles and the fire.
Lucinda curled up into a tight ball and closed her eyes, shutting out Emily and everything that had happened to her. It was impossible not to remember. She started to shake again.
A cool hand touched her forehead, and she reluctantly focused on her unknown visitor.
“I’m Helene, Emily’s stepmother. Everyone else has left, including Emily. Will you let me help you?”
Lucinda stared into the beautiful face of Madame Helene Delornay, one of London’s most notorious women, and saw only compassion and understanding in her clear blue eyes.
Helene smiled. “I know this is difficult for you, my dear, but I need to see how badly he hurt you.”
“No one hurt me. I slipped on the steps and...”
Helene gently placed her finger over Lucinda’s mouth. “You can tell everyone else whatever tale you want, but I know what has happened to you, and I want to help you.”
“How do you know?” Lucinda whispered.
“Because it happened to me.” Helene sat back. “Now, let’s get you out of that gown and into bed.”
She talked gently to Lucinda while she helped her remove her torn gown and undergarments, brought her warm water to wash with, and ignored the flow of tears Lucinda seemed unable to stop.
When she was finally tucked in under the covers, Helene sat next to her on the bed.
“Thank you,” Lucinda whispered.
Helene took her hand. “It was the least I could do.” She paused. “Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”