She turned away, red in the face and furious, and walked off.
I just stood there in shock, watching her leave. As she walked further and further away she became more and more transparent and eventually became a ghost that disappeared right before she turned the corner. I stood there for what felt like hours, while students and teachers and administrators walked past me, their dramas playing out completely oblivious to me. And then I became the ghost, invisible to everyone around me.
I willed my mind to move my feet to go somewhere else — anywhere else — besides here in this awful spot, but I could not. Roots had grown there instead. They had grown out from my toes and barreled into the earth digging deeper and deeper until they firmly rooted me to the spot.
What just happened?
I had just become the most insignificant thing in the world. Without Isolda, I was nothing. I was the rubble that had washed up to shore, only to be tossed back into the ocean by some curious passerby who had lost interest after inspection; left to be tossed to and fro along the waves until eventually I would sink to the bottom.
❦
Finally, the roots turned back into feet and I ran into the bathroom to splash water on my face, happy that Ailey wasn’t here to see me. Was Isolda right? Was jealousy my motivator to speak up?
No, it was when I knew about the rumors being spread about Ailey and me; rumors that probably began with Greg. Anger, jealous rage burned inside me and the thick roots of the tree again appeared, but instead they grew inside of me; slithering and sliding around my internal organs squeezing knots around my stomach and heart. A storm raged in my mind and all I could think of was the vision of Isolda walking off, clouded by dark storms of hate for Greg. And for myself for waiting for so long before talking to Isolda about how I felt. I laughed at the thought. I had not even done that. I still had not told Isolda my true feelings for her; of the ultimate surrender of my heart and will to her. I didn’t know when it had happened, but there it lay, open before me, leaving me feeling venerable and exposed.
She was the only one who could distract me from the connection I felt with Ailey. She was the only one who could move my heart from the stony path I had reserved exclusively for my family and Ailey, to beat wildly and passionately for this woman who had captivated me from the moment I saw her standing over me like an Angel. And now I felt as if I had fallen from the Garden of Eden, where life and beauty was plentiful, over a steep cliff into a barren desert where only brush and prickly bushes grew.
I stared at myself in the mirror, ashamed of my conversation with Isolda. Why had I rambled on about Greg instead of coming out with my true feelings? As I tried to convince myself that it was because I was shy or insecure, I realized that I was only lying to myself.
Deep inside, I knew the truth: my absolute fear of rejection.
I stared at myself in the mirror in disgust and self-loathing. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe deeply. I could feel my hands shaking. I wasn’t sure I could hang on anymore. Something had to give.
I turned on the hot water and waited for it to warm my hands and then threw it on my face, hoping to wash away my self-loathing. The water hit my face like pellets as it turned to ice in the air.
You have got to be kidding me!
Anger seethed inside me and I looked in the mirror, expecting to see the strange priest. Instead, all I saw was a frightened little boy looking back at me.
‘Looking for something?’ I heard in my mind. I looked around to see the stone priest staring at me with his evil smile. He was so real standing in front of me.
“What do you want?!” I screamed at him.
His smile abruptly disappeared. “You!” he bellowed into my mind.
A tearing pain filled my head. I fell to the bathroom’s dirty floor, bracing my head protectively. It felt like my head was going to split apart. I groaned in agony and heard a booming laughter inside my head.
Suddenly, the pain subsided and the stone priest disappeared in a swirl of smoke. The door to the bathroom opened and Mr. Becker walked inside and immediately started coughing.
“What is going on here, Tristen?” he demanded. “It stinks. Have you been smoking in here?” He made a strangling noise and hacked, then looked at me incredulously while he tapped his foot. When he saw me on the floor he grabbed my arm and jerked me onto my feet. “What are you hiding there?”
I stood there slumped as he looked for any hidden cigarette. Since I didn’t have anything on me, he went to the stalls to check the toilet. Finding nothing, he stared at me suspiciously.
“It was already in here,” I managed to choke out. Tears streamed from my eyes as the smoke burned them.
“Uh huh,” he mumbled, thinking. He stared at me for a couple of seconds and then searched me with his eyes, looking for something he might have missed. For a couple of seconds his eyes paused on the dead spot on my face where that Thing had touched me, but then, eyeing me wearily, he went into a stall and locked the door. I didn’t wait but bolted for the door and rushed out to my bike. I wished that Ailey was here to take me home; I really didn’t feel like being alone. I rode my bike as fast as I could to take me home.
When I got home, I rushed to my mom’s room to see her sleeping soundly in her bed. I took off my shoes and eased into her bed softly so that I wouldn’t wake her. I put her arm around me to snuggle up to her, like when I was a kid. Her warmth eased into me and I relaxed. I stared at the wall, thinking about the man — the thing — that I had seen in the bathroom. I didn’t know what to do and was completely exhausted. I closed my eyes and soon found myself asleep in my mothers’ arms.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Isolda, A Few Days Later
I watched him eating in the cafeteria and my heart raced. I felt a hand on my knee but I ignored it.
He seemed to be sad. Almost… lost. It was like he couldn’t even see anything that existed beyond his plate as he stared blankly at it.
‘Do I really mean a lot to him? Does he honestly feel deeply for me?’
Tristen hadn’t admitted it but possibly I could feel the way he truly felt. Sometimes I felt like I could decipher people’s true feelings by the colors I could see around them, but I was never really sure. Although I was pretty confident I could read this guy sitting next to me; his intentions were more obvious.
I turned to watch a group of girls sitting at the table next to him. Some were whispering and giggling as they snuck glances at him out of the corner of their eyes. I felt a pang of jealousy that I knew was ridiculous.
I could see Piper sitting at the far end of their table. She faced him directly and I could see that she was watching him too. There was something sad in her eyes also but as soon as her friends spoke to her she leaned in with faux interest. As soon as they began to laugh she chimed in a little late but the humor never reached her eyes.
“Isolda, are you supposed to be in lunch at this hour?”
I jumped when I heard my name.
Greg’s hand tightened on my knee. I looked up at the assistant football coach staring down at me.
“No,” I said meekly. “I’m sorry, I’m just late.”
I shoved the rest of my roll into my mouth.
“Iall goth whenth I’mm dunth… rollth.” I smiled brightly up at him.
He rolled his eyes but smiled in return.
“Fine. Just hurry up, ‘kay?”
I nodded and he turned to Greg, satisfied with my answer. “Awesome job the other day.”
Greg smiled and nodded at him. “Yeah, thanks for the advice on that last play. I think you struck gold on that one,” he responded.
The coach beamed at him. “Yeah sure, no problem.” He then looked around the rest of the cafeteria and then looked at his watch. “All right. Well, I’ll see you guys later.”
He walked off but then turned around and walked backwards as he looked at me. “Five more minutes and you’d better be in your next class,” he said as he tapped his watch.
I nodded and
grabbed my milk to finish it off.
Greg looked at me intensely.
“Don’t go,” he said.
Inwardly I grimaced as I stood up.
“Sorry, I should go.” He looked disappointed. “Hey, I need to talk to you later, okay?” I said.
He grinned confidently. “All right. Sounds good.” He tilted his face up to kiss me and I leaned over and brushed my lips against his.
“See you later,” I said as I rushed off to class.
❦
I absolutely could not get the image of that thing out of my mind. Memories of it flashed in my head at random moments and it was hard to focus. Then, the feeling of loneliness — and with no one to talk to about everything I was seeing — as well as the loss of Isolda stayed with me for days. It restricted my breathing and hollowed out my heart. At night my heart hammered and my breathing increased as I ran from the smoke and fire of a burning barn. The couple I had seen in the first dream returned; sometimes they were happy and sometimes my heart broke as I saw the sobbing woman holding her child in hopeless despair. Then, the day broke and I woke again to the reality of sadness and my new invisibility.
❦
Ailey eventually returned to school and the minute she saw me she stopped in her tracks and made a beeline for me, leaving Brooks with his mouth hanging open mid-sentence. As soon as she was by my side my airways opened up and I exhaled slowly; I could breathe again.
“Tristen, what happened?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, pretending everything was normal.
She took a step back, regarding me. “You look like death warmed over. Is it Isolda? What’s wrong?”
I looked at her. She was intensely studying me, and I tried to hold back the emotions that threatened to burst from me.
“Maybe.” I shrugged, hoping to seem nonchalant.
She grabbed my arm, stopping me from walking, and my books fell to the ground.
“Tell me what happened,” she demanded. “You do not look good,” she continued softly.
When I bent over to pick up my books I remained squatting, looking at the ground. I debated whether or not I should tell her about my dream and that crazy — scary — thing.
“Look, I did. I tried to talk to her. But she wants to stay with Greg.”
Bile burned my throat when I said his name. I couldn’t find the strength to tell her the rest.
I really am a coward.
I stood up as Brooks showed up. “Dude, what’s wrong? You look like crap.” Ailey elbowed him softly.
I tried to smile at him. “Thanks, bro. I just didn’t sleep well last night.”
I turned away and walked off.
Then I turned back around. “Hey, glad you’re back. I’ll see you in class later?”
They both nodded as I turned around, and for a second, I thought I saw a flash of fear in Ailey’s eyes.
When I saw Ailey later on in class, she didn’t say much but gave me an empathetic smile and occasionally patted my arm in comfort. Being around Ailey felt like being in the eye of a hurricane. The world around me was insanely crazy but here in this moment, things were still. I felt a sliver of peace.
❦
At the end of the day I ran to my locker, grabbed my homework and left to bike home as soon as possible, ignoring everyone in my path. When I got home, my mom was waiting for me at the door. She was looking better every day. Maybe all that sleep was helping her heal.
She had opened the living room’s shades and was letting the sunlight in. I put my backpack on the back porch so I could do my homework there later, and plastered a smile on my face as I approached her. She sat down on the couch and patted it, wanting me to sit next to her.
When I sat down she put her arm around me and just sat there. Whether she could tell how I felt or if needed the comfort herself I couldn’t tell. We sat in silence for a long time until I got up to make dinner. It was nice to be around her besides sitting beside her bed. A small part of me began to hope that she would completely heal, although I knew it was best not to speculate further than today.
My dad came home and we all sat at dinner together. The home phone didn’t ring and I put my phone on silent. It had been a while since I felt any semblance of happiness; we sat and talked for a while even after we were done eating. My mom and dad looked so happy. They smiled and winked at each other and exchanged secret looks that only they knew the meaning. I felt calm, as if for now I could forget everything. Or rather, I felt hope that things would work out in the end.
❦
The next morning, I groaned as my clock alarm went off and I hit snooze. Then I hit it over and over; I never slept well anymore because I was afraid to fall asleep. I eventually turned the alarm off and crawled back under the covers. I wanted to run away from my pain. I couldn’t bear to see Isolda or anyone else today. I just wanted to lie in bed all day and pretend that the inevitable wasn’t happening.
My mom came in to check on me.
“Tristen, you look a little pale,” she said in a worried tone.
I groaned. “Didn’t sleep well.” She frowned and stroked my hair, like she used to do when I was a kid.
I settled in and could feel myself floating back into dreamland.
“Go back to sleep, you’ll feel better when you wake up,” she said as she kissed my forehead.
I wasn’t so sure about that.
“It’s nice to be mom again,” she whispered as she walked out and softly closed the door.
A few hours later I was awoken by a knock on my door. I looked out from under my covers to see Ailey peeking in at the doorway.
“Hey!” she said. “I’m sorry if I woke you, but your mom said it’d be okay.”
I sat up. “Oh yeah. It’s okay, I just, I just wasn’t feeling well. What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I ditched school. Or rather, we ditched school.” She opened the door wider and I could see Isolda standing awkwardly behind her; Isolda looked as if she didn’t really want to be there.
“You?” I asked plainly, trying to ignore Isolda. “You ditched school? For what?”
“Well, for you, of course. I wanted to know where you were. I tried calling your cell, but it just kept going to voicemail.”
“Oh yeah, sorry. I had it on silent.”
She looked at me questioningly, but I just ignored it.
“And…?” I asked.
I looked at Isolda. She still stood at the door with a smile plastered on her face and her hands folded in front of her.
“Oh well,” Ailey answered for her, “I brought her with me.”
“Oh-kay,” was all I could say. “Wait, what?”
“Okay fine,” she answered. “Mr. Becker gave me permission to leave cuz all we were doing today was working on our project since it’s almost due. And since you had a lot of the stuff we needed at your house, he told me that I should come here, as long as I came back for the next period.”
I looked at Isolda.
“And Isolda insisted on coming with me.”
Ailey grinned when Isolda hit her on the arm.
“I mean, I asked Isolda to come with me. Since she was late for class anyway and she is part of our group.” I just looked at both of them and suddenly realized that they were waiting for me to invite them in or something.
“Umm, okay. Can you guys hold on a sec? I need to… I need to umm… you know, put on some clothes.”
Isolda blushed red, but Ailey shrugged and said, “Sure. Just call out when you’re done,” and shut the door.
I jumped up and ran to the bathroom connected to my bedroom, happy that we had added this bathroom when we fixed up the house. I frantically brushed my teeth while I waited for the water to get warm. Seven minutes later I left my bedroom, my hair still dripping wet, with jeans and a T-shirt on, and went to find them. Ailey was talking to my mom. They were laughing at something, but Isolda stood apart from them.
All three looked up when I walked into the room. Isolda quickly l
ooked away, but my mom went to the kitchen where she was cooking eggs and bacon.
“Hungry?” she asked.
My stomach growled and she laughed. “Well, I guess that answers that.” She went to the cupboard and pulled out four plates, handing them to me. “Isolda, I know that you said you weren’t hungry, but I made you some just in case.”
“Oh,” she said and finally looked up from the spot on the floor, “thanks.” She sat down at the table while I set the table.
While we ate Ailey and my mom chatted the whole time. My mom completely opened up to her while she reminisced on the past, telling Ailey how she had met my dad, embarrassing stories of me when I was a kid, how we used to vacation every summer in a beach house down on the gulf.
Isolda only managed to scrape the food around her plate and I ate quickly. When I was finished, I washed my dishes in the sink, put them on the rack and told them I’d go get the stuff for our project. Ailey called out that they’d meet me in a minute and I could hear them clearing off their plates.
I couldn’t find my backpack and then remembered that I left it on the back porch. Once I found it there, I rummaged through it. There was a light breeze, the sun was shining and the weather felt amazing. I walked toward the field, if only for a moment to feel the air on my face and to clear my thoughts.
I noticed that it was utterly quiet. There were no birds chirping, no squirrels chattering, no noises from the house. An immense pressure pushed down on my consciousness and pulled me to my knees. Suddenly a bright light flashed before my eyes and then I felt a soft pop and a whoosh, and then I could hear the birds again. When I looked up I saw a girl not far from me down the field. She had dark hair that trailed down her back. She too was on her knees and had her head bowed, as if in prayer. Then I noticed that the field looked different somehow. It was less wild and looked more like a garden. My mind tried to make sense of what was happening; I knew that I couldn’t be dreaming because I had just woken up. Could I?
The Last Seeker: Book 1: a teen & YA magical, fantasy, paranormal, & adventure novel (TRISTEN) Page 12