He gently steered me toward his office off of his classroom. I stared down at his hand. I hadn’t noticed that it was still bandaged. Was it still healing from the fire? That and the scar that was still on my stomach were definite reminders of what had happened in France. It was not a dream but something altogether real. He caught me staring at his bandage and he put it behind his back.
“Now, Tristen, what did you need?”
I was taken aback by the indifference in his voice, as if I was just a regular student looking for extra credit. He was so confusing. My anger had subsided when I noticed his hand but it returned with a vengeance.
“I need you to take this away from me. This gift. I don’t want it. Take it back.”
Mr. Becker gave a deep and roaring laugh. This took me by surprise. I thought he would be angry or maybe pleading, or something, but not this. I took a step back and stared at him with hostility in my eyes.
“Please.” My voice betrayed the weakness I felt inside.
He stopped laughing and put his hand on my shoulder.
“Tristen,” he said, looking at me with gentleness in his eyes. I looked away; I did not want compassion even though tears were stinging my eyes.
“Tristen,” he repeated. “I wish I could help you with that. But I cannot. I have nothing to do with that. In the beginning, I didn’t have much of a choice either.”
“So, you’re saying that later on I will be able to make a choice about all this?” I asked.
His eyes darkened. “Well, yes, in a way. There will still be some things that you cannot control but you will always have a choice. Some choices will be much harder to make than others. But you have the option to do nothing. For instance: you could have run away from the barn that day and lived your life out in France with Isolda and Ailey, never to return home. You may not be able to change the circumstances you find yourself in, but you always have a choice in how you act within those circumstances.”
I thought about that, rolling his words around in my mind.
“Eventually you will come to see how minor a role I play in all this. But, for now, I am the one you will come to. Yes, you will come to me and we have many, many things that we need to talk about. So many things…” He was talking out of the corner of his mouth now and his words were making me nervous. He seemed to remember himself and focused on me.
“This ‘gift’ as I call it, it comes to you and there is no controlling that. I’m sorry, I know of no means to take it away from you. My role is purely in guidance, to help you through this. The fact that I call it a gift is misleading. I did not give this to you and I cannot take it away. It comes of its own volition and will never go away. I agree that it can be deeply aggravating that it will just take you away at its own accord, without your consent, to go off and save people from the evils that try to hurt and control them.”
I stared at him, unbelieving. He talked about it like this ‘gift’ as if it was a living thing.
“I know that this must seem very dramatic. But it is true. What you do is very serious. It means a lot to the people who live in ignorance of what you are even doing, although they don’t even know it. But I would like to show you a different way of seeing it. First of all, think of Jehanette and what you have done for her. I know that you don’t feel like you’ve done much for her, but you have done far more than you realize.”
“What about her? What did I do for her?”
He looked at me with mischievousness dancing in his eyes. “Come on Tristen. You don’t know who she is already? Where is my A+ student? I’m sure you can figure out who she is.”
He paused to let me think about it for a while.
I was too tired to really think about it. I knew that my brain had already figured it out. I would just have to bring it to my conscience later.
“And second,” he continued when he saw that I still wasn’t sure who she was, “your gift uses you, but you also can use your gift. The earth is an amazing place full of wonderful things and your gift can be a means of discovering it. It may take you away when you least expect it, but you can also determine when to leave. You are not able to go to the past unless it takes you there, but you can explore the world around you.” He looked at me meaningfully. He probably guessed why I had been out of school and why I came back sunburnt in the middle of the spring.
“But why me?” I pleaded. “Why do I have this gift?”
He looked at me patiently. “As I said before, this is a genetic gift. You got it from your true parents.”
“Who are they?”
He hesitated before saying, “I don’t have the privilege of having a lot of information about them. One thing that I can tell you is that they are very noble people.”
I waited for more information and when he gave me none I asked, “Is that all you know?”
“Yes. I’m sorry, that’s all I can tell you.”
“Can or will?” I responded.
“Can,” he replied, and with that he shut his mouth grimly; he wasn’t going to give me any more information about them.
“What about my parents? The ones I grew up with? Did they know about all this?”
He hesitated again. “I think that you should ask them, Tristen.”
“At least tell me if they knew who I was, or what I could become.”
He thought about it.
“Okay. Yes, they were told when they adopted you about your special potential but they promised that they would never tell you about it.”
“Why?” I exclaimed.
“Because this was something that you had to come into on your own. You would’ve never understood it without actually experiencing it and you would have been in a lot of danger if anyone found out about it and you never came into your gift. Also, can you imagine living your whole life with the knowledge that you might have the potential to be a Seeker and never realize it? You would feel like a disappointment. And we are never to explain this other world to those who are not a part of it. They cannot know. You cannot even talk to your parents about it. They know only what they need to know and nothing else.”
“What about Isolda? Is she part of my gift?”
His expression darkened.
“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that. To be honest, I didn’t expect her to go with you. Of course, I knew that Ailey might because she is your twin and therefore is connected to you, but Isolda is a different story. I’m going to have to look into that.”
I thought I knew why. If Ailey went with me because of my connection then the fact that Isolda went with me only confirmed my feelings for her.
There were a million questions going through my mind all at once, and I was having a hard time determining which questions to ask him first.
“Okay, in France you said I was a Seeker. You even used the word ’warrior’. What does that mean? And who are all these people? What is this other world that you were talking about, and who is controlling it?”
“Whoa, whoa, one question at a time.” He looked at his watch.
“Look, class starts soon, but I’ll try to answer as much as I can right now. Okay. From the beginning of time there have always been two sides to everything, right?” He didn’t wait for me to answer but continued on, “To save time, let’s call it good versus evil. Well, that still continues to this day, but evil has gotten much more subtle. And advanced. Sure, you see evil men every day on the news, but I’m talking about all-consuming powerful evil. These men no longer declare themselves from mountaintops but hide in the dark obscure parts of the world; they find it’s easier to do what they want that way. And they have gifts; the Giver of the gifts is not prejudiced to intent. So both good and evil have gifts. And so the evil and the good alike use their gifts to either destroy or protect. Evil will always seek to destroy so that they can have power over others, and the good will always seek to protect the innocent from that control.”
“What about this?” I eagerly indicated my midsection, where I had healed so quickly
.
“That’s still an unknown. I don’t know if it’s part of your gift or what. If so, it’s something new to the Seekers. I’ve never heard of a Seeker having that ability before, although it is a lucky and much needed gift. I will not deny that you were dying in that barn. I’m grateful about it, no doubt. I don’t know what I would have done if you had died that day. I’m extremely sorry about that.” He looked away painfully.
“I’ll continue to search for more information about your healing but we must begin your training so that that will never happen in the future. I’m not so sure that we will be as lucky again,” he added grimly, almost to himself.
“What about Ailey? Can she travel through books, too? She is, after all, my twin sister.”
The bell rang and I jumped. I was so intrigued by his information that I’d forgotten that we were even in school.
“We must go to class. We can talk more later.”
He turned to leave but I grabbed his arm, careful to avoid his burn.
“Tell me one more thing,” I pleaded. “How many Seekers are there? Besides me.”
He stopped mid-stride and closed his eyes, thinking. Seeming to come to a decision, he looked me direct in the eyes.
“One.”
“One? Only one other than me? How can that be? How can I defend the whole world with only one other person to help me?”
He swallowed hard. “There is even a possibility that you are the last-born. The last Seeker born in our time.”
“What?” I cried.
“Tristen, I cannot change this for you. So, you will have to manage.”
Anger and despair began to fill me again and I felt as if the only thing I could manage to do was fold into myself.
Then Mr. Becker grabbed my shoulders and looked at me determinedly. “You are only one of two Seekers, but I did not say that you were the only ones fighting. There will always be plenty of help.”
“What about the stone pri — I mean, what about that guy? Azaz.” I swallowed hard when I said his name.
“He’s taken care of. He’s been… contained. For now, anyway.”
“What was he doing? What did he want?”
“You, of course,” he said without hesitation.
I stood there stunned. Me. He wanted me.
“If they can get to you when you are weak, then they will have won a big battle. But don’t worry, you are protected.” He stared intently into my eyes, as if trying to bestow the gift of confidence.
With that he walked off, but then he abruptly turned on his heel. “We will talk about things in more detail in the future when I have more information and when you are in a better…” he hesitated, “when your dad is better and you’ll be better able to focus. And I would not want to take your attention away from him.”
I nodded, agreeing.
“One more thing, Tristen. I’ve been meaning to tell you earlier, but with the given circumstances I’ve held off. I must tell you now that I will be leaving soon.”
“Leaving?”
“Yes. I’ll be leaving for an extended period of time. It has to do with all this. I need to find more information. Part of it has to do with your healing, but there are other things that I need to attend to as well. I don’t know how long I will be gone. It may be a couple of days, or it might be much longer than that. But I promise that I will return as soon as I possibly can.”
Seeing the disbelieving look on my face he added, “I know that this is really hard for you. Believe me, if I could change things for you I would. But I know that you are strong, Tristen. Whether you like it or not, you are a Seeker and I have yet to learn of a weak Seeker.”
He could hear the class growing restless and he walked off to get their attention, leaving me alone in his office.
I breathed deeply to gain control over my despair and the hollowness in me and then walked to my desk. Once Ailey and Isolda saw me, they exchanged a glance. I avoided their eyes, sat at my desk and put my head on the table.
❦
After school, I walked my bike home. Ailey offered me a ride but I needed to be by myself for a little while. I was feeling completely stressed and overwhelmed after my conversation with Mr. Becker.
A deep red Hummer with raised monster tires passed by me on the road and came very close to brushing me; I felt like it might have been on purpose. Then it stopped, reversed itself and pulled up beside me. Greg was driving with Devin in the passenger seat.
I just kept walking. I couldn’t care less what either one had to say to me.
“Hey Tristen,” Greg said. He kept driving, rolling his car alongside me.
I sighed.
“Hi, Greg,” I answered without any emotion. When he saw that I wasn’t going to stop walking, he pulled his car over to the side of the road and got out. Devin followed behind him. Greg reached out and pulled on my shoulder.
“Hey, man. I just wanted to talk to you for a second.”
I stopped. “I just wanted to know if you were okay,” he said.
I stared blankly at him, unsure if I understood him correctly.
“I heard about your dad. Is he okay?” he asked.
My emotions threatened to burst out. I gritted my teeth to keep them inside. “They’re not sure. He’s still in a coma,” I said.
There was a silence.
“Actually, no, he’s not okay,” I continued. “If he wakes up out of his coma he’ll need extensive therapy.”
“Oh, man, I didn’t know it was that bad. I’m sorry.”
I stared at the gravel at my feet. I didn’t feel the need to respond.
“Well, I hope that things work out, okay? Let me know if there’s anything that I can do,” he said. I was surprised.
“Yea, okay, sure,” I replied. They walked back toward his car and I heard their doors slam before I continued walking. They rolled slowly toward me again, and when he was next to me he called out, “Oh hey, Tristen. What’s going on with you and Isolda? You’re not going out with her, are you?”
“Umm, no. I’m not really sure. I mean, I don’t think so,” I replied.
“Yeah, okay. I didn’t think so,” he stared at me intensely as he said this. He then knocked my bike to the ground with his car. I could hear them laughing as he ran over the front wheel before he sped off.
I stared at the bent wheel long after he was gone. The road was empty and there were no sounds for miles. Finally, I kneeled beside the bike and leaned forward until my head touched the ground, waiting for the world to swallow me.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I took what I saw as Mr. Becker’s advice and I began escaping into my books regularly. Even though I still resented my gift I began using it to get away from the immediate world whenever I could. I went nowhere in particular, and definitely nowhere I would have to talk to anyone. I would go where no one could look at me in sympathy or have any expectations of me; I would just sit and be still, desperately wishing for the peace that I had once felt in what seemed like ages ago. The peace I felt sitting in a garden where the world was what I wanted it to be, not the spinning uncontrollable world in which I now existed. And hoping, but not succeeding, to escape The Hole inside me.
❦
One day when I returned from school I heard my mom calling me from her bed. She lay on Dad’s side of the bed curled up in a ball. She was pale, with dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn’t slept for years. She motioned for me to lay down with her in the bed. I crawled under the covers and snuggled with my back into her. She laid her arm across me; her touch felt cold on my arms.
“Did you go see Dad?” I asked.
She nodded. “Just got back. I wanted to be here when you got home.” She could hear the hope in my voice and hesitated to answer because she knew that it would crush me again.
“He’s still the same.”
I stilled, trying to pretend that it didn’t affect me as much as it did. It’s sad how you never really know how much someone means to you until they are gone. My br
ain knew that my dad was still here on this earth – I could see his body lying in the hospital with tubes and wires going every which way. My brain screamed that there was hope, he was still alive. He could still recover. But I still suppressed my every emotion, not wanting to hope too much, and I was left in a world that was so cold and empty. Some days I couldn’t face him, and I knew I was a coward. Some days I had to stay away, literally lost in my books.
“Tristen, you smell like you haven’t showered in ages,” she said. I thought about it. I couldn’t remember the last time I had showered.
I wrinkled my nose. “You don’t smell so good either. When was the last time you got out of this stink hole and did something fun?” She chuckled, her laughter only an echo of what it used to be.
“You are just like your father.”
I sighed at the mention of him. “I hope so,” I said, sad again.
We laid in silence, lost in our memories.
After a while I thought about when she had seen us return. She acted kinda like she knew where we’d been. I mean, I knew now that I was adopted, but did she know about my gift? About what had happened to us?
“Mom, you know when you saw us the day of the accident, when we were in the field? Did you know where we’d been? Or rather, that we’d gone far away…” I trailed off.
She was quiet for a moment and ruffled my hair.
Finally she said, “You know, even though you were never my son, I always felt like you were. It didn’t matter that you didn’t grow in my belly. You were always mine.”
I turned to look at her. “How did you know I knew?” I asked.
“Mr. Becker came by one night while you were… gone.”
“Oh,” I said simply.
She sighed a deep, sorrowful sigh.
“I wasn’t able to conceive and so we were looking to adopt. They found out about us and explained everything from the beginning. In fact, they picked us specifically because they felt that we were a good match for you. No one really knew if you would come into your gift, so, we just had to wait and see. But, yes, when I saw how much you had changed in just a couple of hours, I figured that you’d finally come into your gift.”
The Last Seeker: Book 1: a teen & YA magical, fantasy, paranormal, & adventure novel (TRISTEN) Page 22