by Scott, D. D.
“Mr. Branson, these items were found on a body located early this morning that we believe to be Kit’s. Apparently, she was the victim of a random act of violence. Random, of course, unless you know of someone who would want to see her dead.”
Luke checked his watch then stood.
“No, Mr. McKinna, I know of no one who would wish to harm my dear Kit. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have dailies to attend to, and what you have told me has not put me in a very productive state of mind.”
He turned his attention to his four men-in-waiting.
“Gentlemen, if you’ll please show Mr. Branson and his lovely sister to the door and see to it that he is paid for his time.”
I was stunned. Actually, absolutely stunned beyond stunned. The bastard had just been told that his wife’s dead body had been found, and he was more worried about his precious dailies?
“I can find my own way to the door, and your money isn’t necessary.”
“Have it your way. But I’d be glad to pay you extra for expediting this case.”
Before the library door closed behind him, Wayne and I heard Luke punch his intercom in the hallway leading to the library.
“Lucille, please bring me a new tie at once. I am not happy with the one you put with this suit. There should be press today at the postproduction offices so I need something with a little more drama.”
Un. Fucking. Believable!
Oh, he was about to get drama all right.
Luke had made one fatal error.
No one screwed with my brother. Especially when they were also screwing with someone he cared about.
Actually, these days it didn’t pay to screw with me either.
Thanks to my Mom Squad training, I had a few techniques of my own. And I was so hoping to get the chance to use them.
* * * *
Before heading to the marina to board his Sundancer for Catalina, Wayne drove us back to Deville 1300 to gather up a few things he needed to execute the next stage of our plan.
Aunt Dodie was waiting for us.
Wayne sat down in Uncle Lewis’ chair and propped his feet up on the desk, doing his best to appear cool, calm and collected.
I’m not sure who he thought he was fooling.
“I was thinking, Auntie Do.”
“That could be dangerous, Dear. Right, Lil? I like to think of myself as the brains of the operation. You’re the brawn. And your Uncle Lewis, well, he’s something or other. I just haven’t figured it out yet.”
“What about me?” I asked, rather hurt I hadn’t been included.
“Oh, I have a feeling you’re about to surprise us all with your new talents,” she said, and then she winked at me.
I wondered if she’d had one of her déjà vu visions about my new role in the family biz?
“Do you suppose that this position of mine at Deville could become permanent? I’m starting to really get the feel for this job,” Wayne said, as an ornery smile formed across his lips.
“I’m way ahead of you. I’ve already ordered your business cards. In the meantime, I think our number one client may need your assistance. I understand that her fitting was cut short this morning.”
Wayne grabbed the hotel room keys that Aunt Dodie dangled from her fingers, kissed her on the cheek, and motioned for me to follow him.
We left Dodie at Deville 1300, plotting more adventures.
I knew she pushed his buttons, but luckily for him, she always seemed to know which ones needed pushing.
* * * *
The Sundancer radiated with light bouncing off the water from the late afternoon sun.
“So Roman and Zoey wiped Luke’s computer clean, right?” I asked while we sprinted down the dock to Wayne’s slip-space.
“Yes. It sounds like Zoey was able to subdue the thugs outside of Luke’s private office, and the rest was a piece of cake.”
“How did she subdue them?”
I thought I might have an idea as to how but was dying to know for sure.
“Some sort of shot in the arm, I think.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
“What’s so funny?”
“I would have loved to have seen that! Zoey’s been dying to try out those shots.”
Finally, my friend was the one giving those little gems instead of receiving them. Now that’s progress.
Wayne jumped aboard the Sundancer right in front of me and opened the cabin door.
He was immediately slammed to the deck by an unexpected blow to the back of his neck.
While he struggled to look up then shield his eyes from the sun’s harsh rays, trying to get a good glance at his attackers, I sprung into action.
I used a few of my new Jujitsu moves and dropped that bastard thug to the deck, right next to my brother.
While those two were probably only seeing black-and-white, star-filled blotches right now, I scanned the scene, seeking out my next opponent.
Three black shadows loomed above Wayne and Turd Number One.
I remained in my next “combat stance”, ready to go totally Kill Bill on any other turds who even thought about daring me to a duel. Oh, I mean spar, it’s called sparring.
“I take it Luke changed his mind?” Wayne managed to squeeze the words out between shallow breaths as he fought to recapture the wind that Turd Number One had taken from him.
One of the three remaining turds pulled Wayne to his feet by the collar of his shirt.
“Listen up, Wise Ass. Mr. B sent us to give you one final piece of info.”
“And what would that be?”
“Let’s just say he don’t buy it for one minute that Mrs. B is dead. What’s more, and what should be most important to you McKinna, and your sister here, is that Mr. B doesn’t want Kit to be found. In fact, it’ll be good for your health if you make sure she never has a reason to be found.”
“So, in other words, Biff, your boss will let us walk if we make sure Kit never finds her way back into his life. Do I have it straight?”
While asking the question, Wayne fixed his collar and jerked his neck at an awkward angle, probably trying to pop it back into position in the center of his shoulders.
A second hulk came forward and buried the broad tip of his index finger into Wayne’s chest.
“Yeah, Man, I’d say you pretty much got it. We don’t want to ever hear from you, your sister or the Mrs. again.”
“If we do,” Turd Number Three ventured, as he lifted up Wayne’s chin to even the level of their eyes, “life won’t be happily ever after for any of yous.”
Wayne pushed away from the three of them and found himself square in the path of Turd Number One, who’d now recovered from my beatdown.
“I suppose you want a second shot?”
“You got that right, Waynie. They always save the best for last.”
“I can’t wait,” my brother said.
“Me neither,” I echoed.
And with what I took as an open invitation for some serious ass kicking, I stepped forward and went Lucy Liu on all four of the turds.
“Where the hell did you learn that?!”
Wayne rubbed his jaw which was now developing a nice sea-blue bruise.
“I’m a Mom Squad Member now. And each of us has our own specialty.”
“I see,” Wayne said, a hint of amusement twinkling in his eyes, although I knew he was damn glad I’d decided to try out my new skills.
“That last behemoth is the one whose most often checked up on me in the coffee shop over the past few weeks. But for all his tough guy surliness, there was something else behind his threat that indicated another agenda,” Wayne said, using the toe of his boot to nudge Turd Number One to see if he’d come to yet.
The turd grunted, then motioned for Wayne and I to bend down so he could tell us something. Something he obviously didn’t want his cohorts to hear.
In a low drawl, that left only our ears in an advantageous position, he bore down on Wayne’s neck which was now c
aught in his vice-grip.
Damn if Wayne wasn’t going to have one sore neck and jaw.
“You better take damn good care of my sister.”
Oops, I thought to myself.
Oh well.
If you look like a turd, smell like a turd and act like a turd, you’re messin’ with the wrong Mom Squad Member.
What a way to meet your future brother-in-law, I thought, feeling a little sorry for Wayne.
Wayne grimaced.
After a few minutes, they were all back on their feet and walking away.
As we watched the turds leave, I stood guard. Wayne and I stood together, facing our future…a future I’m sure he hoped would include Kit, but not necessarily her brother.
He started the Sundancer’s engine and steered it out of the marina and into the sun that had just set over Avalon.
Meanwhile, I assumed child’s pose and prepared for my evening meditations.
Kickin’ some serious ass had never felt quite so good.
Too bad I didn’t know those kinds of moves while I was still married to Roxy’s dad. I could have put a major damper on Steven Vaughn’s gigolo lifestyle.
Oh well, tomorrow’s another day. And it’s never too late to die, I thought, thinking of one of my favorite Bond films Tomorrow Never Dies. A tiny giggle escaped my throat as I transitioned into downward dog.
“What’s so funny now?” Wayne asked.
“Oh nothing. Just imagining how delightful my future could be,” I said, then I took a deep breath and began reciting my mantras.
“I am the kick ass Mom Squad member…I am the kick ass Mom Squad member. I am Kill Steve…I mean Bill. Kill Bill. Kill Bill…”
THE END
ABOUT D. D. SCOTT
D. D. Scott is an Amazon and Barnes & Noble Top 100 Bestselling Romantic Comedy and Humorous Mystery Author. She’s a Writer’s Go-To-Gal for Muse Therapy, plus the #1 Amazon Bestselling Author of Muse Therapy: Unleashing Your Inner Sybil and the Co-Founder of The WG2E – The Writer’s Guide to E-Publishing - your destination site for Everything E-Publishing, and Founder of The RG2E – The Reader’s Guide to Epublishing – the destination site for all-things Ereading. You can get all the scoop on her, her books, her Muse Therapy Online Classes and Live Workshops, plus juicy tidbits too from her website D. D. Scott-ville.
Full Bio:
D. D. Scott’s bestselling romantic comedies are all about sexy, sassy, smart, career-driven women and the men who complete them. They’re a bit chick lit with a gone-country twist…and now a humorous mystery, comedic caper twist too. Her Bootscootin’ Books - think Sex and The City meets Urban Cowboy – debuted August 2010, on Amazon’s Kindle, Barnes & Noble’s Nook and at Smashwords, with BOOTSCOOTIN’ BLAHNIKS, followed by STOMPIN’ ON STETSONS and BUCKLES ME BABY. Now, The Bootscootin’ Characters are gettin’ “cozy”…as in Comedic Caper cozy, with the release of THUG GUARD, LIP GLOCK and CARATS & COCONUTS, Books One, Two and Three of her new, Cozy Cash Mysteries, featuring all of your faveBootscootin’ characters plus tons of quirky new characters too.
She’s a two-time Amazon Movers & Shakers List Author (making it all the way to #2 on that prestigious list) and has been both a featured author and her books have been top picks – including one of the Top 10 Books for Mother’s Day 2011 - for such superfabEreader-centric Blogs as Ereader News Today (ENT), Kindle Nation Daily, Cheap e-Reads, Pixel of Ink, The Frugal eReader, Indie Books List, Only Romance, and Bargain eBooks. Her blog posts on the Indie Epub World have been picked-up by fantabulous blogs like Bufo Calvin’s I Love My Kindle. She can be spotted all-week long on her one-million-hits-per-month grog The WG2E, a writer’s destination site for all-things-Epublishing. She often can also be found hangin’ on both the Kindle and Nook Boards, her new site The RG2E, a reader’s destination site for all-things Ereading, and has an active blog of her own on her website.
Also a Writer’s Go-to-Gal for Muse Therapy and now the Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of MUSE THERAPY: UNLEASHING YOUR INNER SYBIL, D. D. debuted her Muse Therapy Online Classes in 2009 and her Live Workshops in 2010. Thanks to the fabulous endorsement of Stephen Windwalker’s Kindle Nation Daily, there’s a ton more fun and fascinating MUSE THERAPY adventures in development.
D. D.’s first two short stories - The Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mysteries – FLUID FULFILLMENT and LICENSED FOR LOVE – released in October 2011, and a D. D. Scott Special Edition Ebook Boxed Set followed in December 2011, which included all three Bootscootin’ Books plus the first two Cozy Cash Mysteries. Her brand new Serial Novels THE STUCK WITH A SERIES released in March 2012, with STUCK WITH A SCHMUCK and STUCK WITH A STIFF, along with a total of 14 additional releases throughout 2012.
Declaring 2011 to be “The Year of the E-Book & Cross-Pollination”, D. D. co-founded and launched The Writer’s Guide to E-Publishing, your destination site for Everything E-Publishing. Whatever you want to know and/or cuss and discuss about E-publishing, it’s right there at The WG2E waiting for you as well as in her latest bestselling non-fiction book 10 YEARS AND 24 HOURS TO INDIE EPUBLISHING SUCCESS.
Declaring 2012 “The Year of the Reader”, she founded The RG2E – The Reader’s Guide to Epublishing – a sister site to The WG2E, which launched February 1, 2012 and is “the” new destination site for the Best in Ereading, Ebook Gifting and Ereader Giveaways too.
When she’s not writing, she’s busy luuuvin’ on her real-life hero “Sweet Man” and their beloved shelter-rescued dog Buckley and his new playmate Siggy the Affenpinscher.
For updates on her books, her sexy, sassy, smart neurotic writer’s life blog, and for a schedule of her appearances, including Muse Therapy and Indie Epublishing Sessions, visit her website D. D. Scott-ville.
Turnabout Twist
By Lois Lavrisa
“Really Ted? Just because I have red hair you want me to play dress up? You’ve got to be kidding.” Victoria twisted her mouth and shook a finger at me. “I’m a little too old for that.”
“Yeah eighteen is so old. You might as well get a walker and dentures now.”
“Right.” She smiled and punched me in the arm.
She stood five six – half a foot shorter than me – and had the lean muscular build of a dancer. We waited outside the movie theater. It was early summer in Savannah, Georgia and the heat and humidity already blanketed the city. My dark hair clung to the back of my neck, and my shirt stuck to my chest, accentuating my boniness.
“But it’d be cool. You really do look like Black Widow.” I tried to put on a big smile. The Avengers was also playing at the same theater and many waiting in line were dressed like superheroes from the movie.
“You’re an idiot. A cute idiot. But an idiot all the same.”
“I mean you’re prettier than Scarlett Johansson and all. And you’d look really hot in that skin tight costume thing she wears.” I moved along with the line.
“And you’d look hot as a vampire. Sparkles and fangs would suit you.”
“No way.” That wimpy vampire was so lame.
“Plus you kind of look like Edward. Tall, thin and handsome.” She tilted her head. “He’s so romantic. When we saw Twilight, I just melted when he snuck into the window of Bella’s bedroom. You don’t do anything like that. When we first dated you’d bring me flowers and do my literature homework.”
“You still need all of that kind stuff after dating three years? And you aced lit, so you don’t need my help anymore. And flowers? Tomorrow I’m giving you a flower prom thing for your wrist. Don’t you know that I love you by now?”
“Sometimes, I feel like you’re taking me for granted.”
“Not true. I’m here now with you. Doesn’t that mean anything?” Two girls dressed like Black Widow walked near us. I couldn’t help staring at them.
“Eyes over here Ted.” Vicky tugged my shirt.
“What?” Busted. Rats.
“You’re such a guy. Hopeless.” She brushed the hair from my face.
“You have to admit that i
s hot.” I pointed to the girls dressed as Black Widow.
“Don’t point.” She slapped down my hand. “We are here for my movie, not The Avengers.”
My body slumped. “I know.” And how I wished I could see the other movie instead.
“You look like you’re being tortured. Your face is all pulled down in that weird expression you have when you don’t like something.”
“Nothing is wrong. The vampire movie is going to be a blast.” My voice sort of rose to a near soprano, belying my usual alto.
“Liar.” Vicky flipped her hair. “Shoot. I forgot my team Edward shirt.”
“Yeah I forgot my team get me the hell out of here shirt.” Shoot. I just said that out loud.
“Heh.” Vicky flicked me in the arm.
“I mean, I’m team Edward too because I am a closeted vampire lover. Bet you didn’t know that. “I planted a kiss on the top of her head. She was so adorable. “So now that I proclaimed my love of vampires, will you’ll wear the Black Widow costume to prom?” I rubbed her back.
She crossed her arms and tapped her foot.
“That’s a no, huh?” I asked.
She scrunched her eyebrows and pursed her lips. The definite look of no.
“I mean, I’m just saying. It’s our last prom. Why not go out with a bang? Make it memorable,” I said.
It was our turn at the ticket window.
“Since you’re paying for prom, I’ll get the popcorn,” Vicki offered.
“Then I’ll get the tickets.” I pulled out money I had borrowed from my twin Timothy and slid it under the glass. “Two tickets to the vampire movie.”
“This is last of these horrible movies, isn’t it? I mean after today, I won’t have to go to anymore right?” I said wishfully to Vicky. I loathed the first couple and was sure this was more of the same.