by Scott, D. D.
She laughed, a harsh, bitter sound he’d never heard from her before and hoped never to hear again. “Farley Smith took that from me, too. Because of him it’s unlikely Richard will marry Gwen.”
Rafe took her hands in his. “I’m sorry.”
She snatched her hands away. “I don’t want your pity.”
He reached for her hands again. She trembled but she let him take them. It felt so good to have her small, cold hands surrounded by his big warm ones. If he could only transfer some of his warmth to her heart. He’d never give up wanting her, needing her, loving her. To start he’d get her to trust him. Love would come later.
“I don’t pity you. I’m angry for you. I pity Smith because when I find him he’s a dead man.”
He heard her sharp intake of breath and felt her soft, sweet breath on his cheek. “You truly feel that way? You’re not shamed by me?”
“Why would I be shamed by you? What happened was not your fault. Surely you know that, don’t you?”
“I do. But I was afraid–”
“Don’t be. Nothing you could do would ever shame me. And you should not feel any shame for what happened, regardless of what your brother may think or say.I’m sorry he wasn’t man enough to protect you, to demand the justice you deserve. I’m sorry he blamed you for something that was clearly not your fault.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything except, yes. Yes, you’ll let me court you. Please Jenny, I want you for my wife. Let me prove that to you.”
She shook her head. “I can’t be your wife. I don’t deserve you. Even if I said yes, Richard would never approve. I told you he’s going to sell me to the highest bidder and you can’t afford to buy me. He’s got Earl Wasson dangling and who knows who else.”
“Earl Wasson! That man’s old enough to be your father. Hell, your grandfather. He’s got to be nearing seventy!”
Jenny nodded. “I know.”
“How in good conscience could he…”
She snorted. “Who said anything about conscience? Richard doesn’t have one. He doesn’t have a heart either. Just greed. Dollar signs where his heart should be.”
“Let me talk to him. Let me convince him I’d be a good choice for a husband for you.”
She blew out a sigh. “Don’t you understand? It can never be.”
His mouth formed a grim line. “I won’t give up, Jenny. Not on you and not on us.”
Jenny rose from the swing and Rafe followed. She took his beloved face in her hands. “Let it go, Rafe. Thank you for wanting to marry me, but let it go. I’ll only bring you heartache.”
“I’m willing to take that chance.”
She shook her head. “I’m not.” She turned and walked into the house.
* * * *
Every night the nightmare was the same. She relived the assault. Smelled his fetid breath on her cheek as she turned away from his descending mouth. Felt the cold, hard bench beneath her as she struggled against Smith. All of it real again every night.
More than once she awoke drenched in cold sweat and had to use the towel she kept on the commode chest next to the pitcher and basin. After cleaning herself off, she still felt his dirty hands upon her and slumber was no longer possible.
Each day she worked as hard as her body would let her. Hoping to tire herself enough so the dreams wouldn’t come. She begged Alice for chores. Took over as many of Catherine’s as possible while she was away on her honeymoon. She cleaned everything in the house from top to bottom and then started again.
She got a reprieve from the nightmares after she’d started talking with Rafe. They didn’t come every night now. He was so easy to talk to. Even when she told him why she couldn’t marry him, he still persisted. As kind and patient as he was she couldn’t make herself trust him. Not completely. He was a man and although she knew that putting all men in the same class as Smith and Richard was wrong, there was a part of her that did it just the same.
CHAPTER 3
Jenny workedeverydayto not shy away from Rafe. It was hard but getting easier. Even though she knew he wasn’t anything like Smith, there were only two men she trusted completely. Catherine’s husband Duncan and herfather James. James had been like a father to Jenny. Treated her far better than her own father ever did.When she was with them, he talked to her. Asked about her day. During the summers when she and Richard came down from Chicago, James would have her over for weekend visits as often as Richard would allow. Which, luckily for her,was often.Richard considered Catherine and her father “good stock” and association with them was a good for appearances. Her father was just like Richard, a mean, cruel, greedy man who walked over everyone to get what he wanted. Like father, like son. She was glad her father was dead. One less man to tell her what to do.
Duncan was a friend before he’d gone away ten years ago and was still a friend now. He was more of a brother to her and treated her better than Richard ever did.
Richard would come for her eventually. She still tasted bile and got nauseous every time she thought of going back. When he decided he needed her, he’d come. She wasn’t going back. Not now. Not ever. She only had to hold out for a year. A year!
She’d have her inheritance, if she could just hold out. At least her mother had seen to it that Richard couldn’t touch her money. Unfortunately, he was her guardian and could force her to marry any old codger he could manipulate and control. His first choice would probably be Old ManWasson. The reprobate had been chasing after her since before she turned sixteen.
She guessed in a way, she was lucky Richard hadn’t accepted any offer before now. He wanted someone he could control, but they still had to have equal standing in society. That was another reason she couldn’t even think about a relationship with Rafe. Richard would never approve. And if he found out about it, he’d force her to marry now just to make sure she never “dirtied” their bloodline with a non-white man.
* * * *
Jenny swung out of the house and down the porch steps, her boot heels clicked on the wood. Rafe stood at the bottom next to the hitching rail. He’d tied two rain slickers and a brightly colored tablecloth behind his saddle along with his stiff leather saddlebags. Jenny gave him the scrumptious lunch Alice fixed them and he put it in one of the saddlebags.
Rafe knew Jenny was improving each day. She no longer flinched when he took her hand in his. Alice told him Jenny’s nightmares were becoming less frequent and he saw the dark purple circles under her eyes fade more with each passing day.
Though the days were easier for her and they were harder for him. Seeing her everyday in her work clothes, pants and a shirt of Catherine’s she and Alice cut down, nearly undid him. Her shapely body, every curve outlined, for all the world to see drove him crazy. Even though his boss was a lovely woman, it never bothered him with Catherine. Not like it did with Jenny. He hated that other men could see her, watch her bottom swaying to and fro. He fisted his hand and dug his nails painfully into his palm so he wouldn’t say anything to her about the way she dressed. He would never do anything to hurt her feelings. It wasn’t his place and he knew why she did it. Working as hard as she did required she be able to move like a man and a dress would hinder that. He understood, he really did, but that didn’t stop it from bothering him.
Her scent lingered, sweet lilac, as fresh in his mind as it was this morning at breakfast. She’d finally agreed to go see his valley with him. They were going to have a picnic today, away from the house, just the two of them. That was huge progress in the right direction as far as he was concerned.
He watched her glance at the Colt revolver strapped to his right leg, saw her body visibly relax. He knew the gun helped her feel safe going out into the mountains. She was sure he knew how to use it and thanks to him she knew how to use the one strapped to her leg. Never would she be at the mercy of someone like Smith again. Rafe would protect her with his life and now she knew how to protect herself too.
They rode west, furth
er into the mountains for a couple of hours. Galloping, the wind whistling through her hair, she laughed. Free at last. Free of the world for this moment. Just free.Safe.
She’d known it the first time they met. He’d been so polite, almost shy. His touch was gentle, which surprised her coming from the tall, lean man he was. It was endearing and unexpected. Especially from someone strong enough to break her in two.
They came to the top of a small rise and Jenny looked down on to the prettiest little valley she’d ever seen. Amazingly beautiful, below her nestled a small lake in the middle of lush green meadow. Fragrant ponderosa pine trees dotted the hillsides.
“It’s wonderful.”
“I hoped you’d like it. I’ve always found this place to soothe my soul. I own it and come here as often as possible.”
As they were riding down towards the meadow, she asked, “You bought it? I thought you were the ranch foreman. You must have saved for a long time.”
“No, I didn’t buy it. Actually, I come from a wealthy family. My father is Don Carlos Montoya. He has a large ranch down by Alamosa.”
He stopped and dismounted. Before she could get off her horse, he was there holding his arms up to her, waiting for her to trust him enough to let him help her down. Tentatively, she placed her palms on his shoulders. He clasped her around the waist as she leaned down toward him. He lifted her easily setting her on her feet, just inches from his body. Looking down at her, his dark eyes glittering with promise, he stepped away grabbed the large checkered tablecloth from behind the saddle.
“How’s this spot for a picnic?” They were high enough on the hillside they could see the whole valley spread before them. God’s own colorful blanket.
“Wonderful. Let me get the food.”
“No. You serve everyone else everyday but today, I serve you.”
Keeping his hand at her back, he walked with her a short distance from the horses and spread the tablecloth on the ground. Taking her hand in his, he helped her to sit on the ground. After she was settled, he went back to the horses, grabbed his saddle bags and joined her on the checkered cloth.
“What do you intend to do here?” she asked.
“Something with horses.” he said as he brought out the luncheon that Alice had made for them. Sandwiches of thin sliced roast beef, hard boiled eggs, a couple of apples and more of her famous tea cake cookies. “I haven’t really thought about that, except I don’t want to destroy the beauty of the valley with cattle. Horses will be easier on the land and are are such magnificent creatures.”
“I agree. That’s what Duncan’s doing with the land James gifted to he and Catherine.”
“That’s where I got the idea. I love horses. I am good with them but didn’t think about raising them until after talking with Duncan.”
Rafe told her all his plans. “There, to the left of the brook, will be the house. It’ll face the valley with the kitchen window looking out on the meadow. A huge barn with enough stalls for ten horses will be farther up the valley. There will be a large corral off to the side of the barn for breaking the horses and giving them exercise. Can you see it, Jenny?”
“Yes, Rafe. I do see it. Around the house will be a white picket fence with a hitching rail in front of it. In between the house and the fence will be a garden off the kitchen and around the front, a place for the children to play when they are small. It’s going to be so beautiful, Rafe.”
Jenny loved the lush little green valley around them, the clear brook running through it, the scent of wild flowers and pine on the gentle breeze. Surrounded by mountains it was lovely and a wonderful place to raise horses. She could see him here, building that house and a family. She dreamed it was her house and her family. She mentally shook herself, patted her horse’s neck, anything to try to take her mind off things that could never be. Richard would never approve of Rafe as her husband.
Rafe repacked the saddle bags, folded the cloth and put them on his horse behind his saddle. Then he came back to Jenny who was still looking out over the quiet valley. Without saying a word or asking permission he took her hand in his. She didn’t flinch but gently squeezed his hand.
He released her hand only to place his palms on her shoulders and turn her to face him. With is knuckle he lifted her chin until she looked at him. His eyes were dark with passion that should have frightened her but instead it excited her that she could garner such an emotion from this man.
Slowly, he lowered his head until his lips caressed her, soft, smooth, tender. With his tongue he traced the seam of her lips, asking permission for entry but not taking until she offered it. She opened her lips and allowed his invasion not just of her mouth but of her heart. Rafe had worked his way in. His loving patience had won out.
* * * *
They returned to find the ranch in an uproar. Richard was there demanding to see Jenny. James was in town and the man was attempting to intimidate Alice. He obviously didn’t know her or he’d never have tried. She may have hair black as midnight, but Rafewould swear the roots were red. He’d never seen a more stubborn woman in his life.
Alice and Richard stood on the porch, toe to toe, with some of the cowboys watching, betting on Alice to win.
Alice, hands on hips said, “You get off this property, Richard Cooper. You’re not welcome here.”
“Not without Jenny.”
“She’s not here, “Alice replied honestly.
“We’re back now, Alice,” Jenny said. Her stomach turned over and the familiar bile rose when she saw Richard. How could you love and hate someone at the same time? “What are you doing here, Richard? I thought you were in Chicago. Gwen should be planning your wedding by now.” she said as she and Rafe climbed the steps to stand beside Alice.
“I came to bring you home, of course.” He picked a non-existent piece of lint off his impeccable lapel. “Gwendolyn and I don’t suit.”
“I see. I’m not going back there.”
“Of course you are. It’s time for you to return to your duties.”
“No.” She took a deep breath, praying for courage. Then Rafe’s warm hand settled at the small of her back and she drew strength from his touch. “I’m not going to return.”
Richard grabbed her arm. “You’re coming with me now.” He tried to drag her off the porch.
It was the wrong thing to do. Rafe’s right fist shot out and caught Richard in the jaw, staggering him back. “Take your hands off her.”
“You filthy, Spic. I’ve heard about you. You don’t think I’d send her down here without someone to watch her, do you? Not after what happened in Chicago. I’ve had you checked out. I know how much time you’ve been spending with her and it’s going to stop.
“You think you’re better than I am because you’re rich? Money can’t make you white and it can’t bring your dead wife back to life. You think to marry my sister, you dirty bastard? Think again. I’ll never allow it.”
“Richard! Don’t you call him that.” Jenny yelled it at her brother.
Rafe’s left caught him by surprise on his chin and snapped his head back. “My family is descended from kings. It is not I who am the bastard here, but you.”
“Wife?” The hurt in Jenny’s voice and on her face was his undoing.
“Jenny, I was going to tell you. I didn’t kill her. She took ill while we were on a trip back east. She died unexpectedly. There is a doctor’s certificate certifying her death was from influenza but there are those who continue to insist that I killed her. Our marriage was arranged, I did not love her but that doesn’t mean I killed her. I inherited the valley we saw today from her. It was part of her dowry, nothing more.”
“You lied to me. A lie of omission is still a lie.” She turned to Richard. “How do you know these things?”
“When I heard his name I recognized it. There is a CarlosMontoya, whose large ranch is near Alamosa. His son, Rafael was accused of murdering his wife several years ago. There was never enough evidence to convict him.” He held a handke
rchief to his bloody nose. “I’m sorry that Smith attacked you. He won’t do it again. Now let’s go.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why won’t Smith attack me again?”
“He’s missing. I haven’t seen him for a couple of days.”
“So he could come back at any time, and you’d welcome him with open arms?”
“He made a small mistake. Surely you can forgive and forget.”
“Forgive? Forget? He assaulted me Richard and ruined my reputation. That same reputation that you were so worried about tainting you. I’m not going back. Just go away. Now!” Jenny had had enough. She walked away from Richard and Rafe. It looked like she was right. Men weren’t to be trusted.
CHAPTER 4
Rafe showed up early for breakfast again, hoping to see Jenny. She hadn’t come down to supper last night but he was sure he’d see her this morning.
“She’s not here,Cowboy,” Alice said, pouring him a cup of coffee. “You’ll have to settle for me.”
“She can’t keep avoiding me. If she’d just let me explain.” He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end before he smoothed it again.
“Explain what? That you aren’t who you said you were? Do you know what Jenny’s doing now? She’s reliving every moment she spent with you. Wondering which things you said to her were true and probably deciding that it was all lies.”
“But it wasn’t. Everything I said to her was the truth. I just didn’t tell her about my wife because it isn’t something I’m proud of. I was accused of murder. My father and I don’t even speak any more because of it. Is it so bad that I didn’t mention it?”