by Jami Wagner
* * *
“He can’t really think the only time you can be there is when he’s there, can he?” Alex says, her eyes quickly looking away from my nails as she presses her lips together.
“Don’t laugh at me,” I say, not able to hold back a laugh myself.
“Okay, but I find it super hard to believe you’ve never painted your fingernails ever, ever in your entire life,” she says, applying a clear coat of something over her new lime green nails. Which also happens to look like a professional did them instead of a two-year-old like mine. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure there should be more red polish on my nails than on the skin around them.
“Believe it. For a long time I accepted it and enjoyed being pampered.”
“And one day you just changed your mind.”
“One day I woke up with a guy next to me who I was supposed to love for the rest of my life, and, yeah, it occurred to me that I didn’t love anything about him. That I would never see him as more than a guy who used to be my friend who had turned into a mini version of my father, and I wanted to be far away as I could be from everything that included him.”
Alex blinks, not really giving away anything she’s thinking.
“And now you come straight into a life with a guy who I have the feeling you want to be far away from also.”
“It’s not that I want to be far away from Luke; I just don’t want to be around him. He’s cranky and rude and can’t listen worth a damn.”
“Because if he had, he would understand you didn’t do anything wrong and that you are an amazing woman.”
“Yes, that.” I laugh. “But maybe he would be nicer also and not put me in an argumentative mood every time I see him. I mean, come on, how in the heck am I supposed to go home if I can’t be there without him?”
I’m not even going to mention that I thought about kissing him right after he locked me out. This, coincidentally, would have been the first time I wouldn’t have argued with him.
“I have an idea, but you won’t like it,” Conner says, poking his head out from their room. He’d gone in there the moment I got here, saying he had to go over his new fall semester schedule and put some things together for Jake’s school supply list. It must not have required too much focus if he knows enough to join our conversation.
“If it’s going to annoy him, I’m sure I’ll love it.” I smile.
“You and Luke still aren’t getting along, huh?” he asks.
“Nope, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
Alex laughs, but Conner doesn’t.
“What’s your idea?” I say, twisting the cap onto my polish and dropping it into the bag with Alex’s stickers, glitter, and more polish. I blow on my nails as I wait for him share his grand idea of how I can get into my apartment without Luke.
“You could call his mom,” he says.
“Conner,” Alex says, again trying not to smile.
“What? She is the only person he listens to these days.” His nose wrinkles up. “Well, at least she was till she gave you the room above the store. Now he thinks she’s lost her mind.”
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Alex says.
“And why not? I’ll just call her and ask if she can get me a key so I can get into my apartment in the very real chance someone locks me out of the bookstore,” I say. And also because maybe then I can get in and out without seeing Luke again and reliving whatever happened between us.
“And you won’t say anything else?” Conner asks.
“Oh, now you’re worried about it?” Alex asks him, rolling her eyes but still smiling.
“Once I said it, I realized what a bad idea it is.”
“Why? It’s just his mom.”
Conner and Alex share a look. I don’t want to let their reactions change my mind, because I need a key, and the only other person to ask who isn’t Luke is his mother.
“Can I borrow one of your phones, please?” I ask.
“Better add that to your list,” Alex says, grabbing Conner’s phone off the counter with her fingers as wide as they can go so as to not smudge the paint and handing it to me.
“I don’t know that I really need one here. Everywhere is within walking distance.”
“At least look into it for safety reasons,” Conner adds. “They have pay-as-you-go plans.” He takes a seat on the sofa next to Alex and keeps his focus on me. He’s so focused I bet if I flinched super-fast, he’d jump.
I turn away the moment she picks up.
“Conner, is everything okay?” she answers instead of the typical “hello!” greeting. I bet it does look weird that Conner would be calling her.
“Hi, Mrs. Warren, it’s actually Skylar.”
“Oh Sky, dear, it’s so great to hear from you. How is the apartment so far?”
“It’s great, and that is actually why I’m calling. It turns out that my key to the apartment doesn’t let me into the store, and without getting into the store I can’t exactly get to the apartment.”
“Oh my, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before. I’ll be over this afternoon with a key for you.”
“That would be fantastic, thank you.” Perfect idea, Conner.
“How is everything else going?”
“So far, so good.” It’s basically the truth. Now, if she had asked how things with Luke were going, it would be a big lie.
“Oh that’s great. Have you had a chance to buy food and things like that?”
“As soon as I get a job, I’ll make it a priority to stock my fridge.”
“I haven’t seen you in two days. How have you been eating if you don’t have anything in your fridge?” Her words come out fast, as though she is in a panic to say them. My mother never spoke to me that way. I’ve never been bothered by it before, but now I have an ache in my chest that I wish would go away just as fast as it showed up.
“Beth and Alex have been kind to me and brought me food.”
“Oh good.” The relief in her voice is hard to miss. I swallow, but it gets caught in my throat on the way down. My eyes start to feel wet; the last thing I want to do is cry. On the phone and in front of Alex and Conner, no less. I don’t want them thinking I’m a homeless hot mess, even though I’m not homeless anymore.
“I’ll see you this afternoon, Mrs. Warren. Thanks again.”
“Please, call me Julie. I’ll see you later. Good-bye, Sky.”
I tap the red dot on the screen and hand Conner his phone.
I blink to dry the tears that want to fall at the pity expressions on their faces. I don’t want their pity. I look away, spotting a newspaper sitting on that kitchen table.
“Can I take that?” I ask. “I need to start looking for a job.”
“Yep, take it,” Conner jumps up. “I have to get to class.” He kisses Alex on the top of the head and grabs a notebook off the counter on his way out the door.
“Let’s make list of the places for you to call,” Alex suggests. “Do you have your résumé ready?”
“Um, no.”
She laughs again and then pulls out a laptop.
“You should probably just go to the BA and talk to Sara. She’ll give you a job,” Conner says, returning to the bedroom.
“Not if Luke works there,” I tell him.
Alex starts asking me questions of what I like, don’t like, and what I know how to do. In just a few short hours, I have a résumé and a list of four places where I can drop it off.
I hug her when I leave, lucky as ever to have a friend like her. I also have more ambition for a job than I did before. Not only do I want to get away from Luke’s angry attitude, but I’m not sure I’m ready to have anyone treat me like his mother did, reminding me of everything I missed out in my childhood. I want to grow, not fall back into the unhappiness that was my life.
Luke
The door is closed by the time I make it to class, a clear sign that I’m late. After I left the store, I had to stop by the bank, since they wa
nted to go over the paperwork for the store now that there is a delay to sell. They graciously told me I will need to have an inspector sign off on the space before they can run their paperwork. I know it’s just part of the process, but all I saw were dollar signs.
I knew that going over to the store this morning would put me behind, but we need to be working on it at all times, and fuck if I knew I was going to be waking Skylar up in a pair of damn skimpy panties.
All I wanted was a jump start on getting the place cleaned up before I ran my errands. Instead, I spent a solid hour trying to get the image of her half naked, with her perfect soft skin, messy hair and vanilla scent, out of my mind. I mean, come on, a thousand girls look like that in their underwear. But something was different. Her voice as she talked back to me was all confidence and temptation. No one ever argues with me, but two days with Skylar and she’s tested my every nerve.
Then she had to go and stand in front me before I left, with eyes just screaming for me to kiss her. I almost did, too.
Fuck. What has gotten into me?
I step inside the classroom, thankful the door doesn’t squeak at my entrance, and spot Conner in the front row. He had to pick the front row. We have English 101 together. A class we both should have taken by now, which is probably why we chose to take it over the summer. Less people. All summer exams are next week, and this one I’m actually stressing. Art I can do, but put words, real or not real, on paper and I have no idea what I’m doing.
“Mr. Warren,” Professor Hend says, directing the entire class’s attention toward me. Even in college, teachers love to point you out when you have done something they don’t like. “This is the second day in a row you’ve chosen to arrive late to my class. Mr. Brian, at least, had the courtesy to show up on time today.”
This is where I get lost. Should I respond because he stated a fact? It’s true, so what does he expect me to say? Or does he even expect me to say anything?
“Well, what do you have to say for yourself?” he goes on, and damn it, I need to answer.
“Sorry,” is all I can come up with. I have to so much to say and so much to argue, yet when I get here, I’ve got nothing. School isn’t my problem right now.
I hear a few people chuckle, and gradually everyone returns their focus to the front of class. I take my seat next to Conner, who’s failing to hide his smile behind his hand.
“I showed up on time and he still called me out for yesterday,” he whispers. I just shake my head.
We make it through the next half hour without distraction, and finally Professor Hend dismisses us.
“Do you want to go shoot some hoops before work tonight?” Conner asks.
I wish I could. I miss lazy days of playing basketball all afternoon.
“I can’t, man, sorry. I need to stop by the admissions office and drop some classes for this fall, and I should probably head back to the bookstore, see if I can get anything else done today.”
Putting two classes on hold till next semester should give me the cash I need for the inspector and the for parts of the shelves I can’t salvage.
“You’re dropping classes?” he asks. We’d signed up for quite a few together. You know, the whole “if we’re both there, maybe we’ll actually get our assignments done” idea.
“Yeah, with the store, I don’t think I’ll have the time or focus for more classes.” That’s the first time I’ve admitted it out loud.
Conner stops walking once were outside the doors.
“Why do you put all the pressure on yourself?” he asks. “You have your whole life ahead of you and you’re focused on taking care of a family who—don’t punch me—already has a parent to take of them. Be young, man. Enjoy it and stop thinking you have to take care of everything. Your mom doesn’t expect you do as much as you do.”
Everything inside me is ready to burst. My mom doesn’t have to tell me anything. She doesn’t have to ask me anything. She’s my mom. They are my sisters. I will do whatever I can to make sure they are safe and happy. They don’t deserve to lose anything else. And if I just go about my life the way it was, well … I wasn’t around much. I was always out with my friends, going on dates, or painting, pressing ignore on my family’s calls until I finished with whatever I was doing. Everything I did before my dad died was on my schedule.
I have to be there now.
Of course, I don’t say any of this to him. He cares, I know. But this isn’t his life, and he doesn’t get to decide which choices I make.
“Look, I have to go. I need to make sure Skylar didn’t break into the store again since I locked her out, and we have a lot to do at the store today.”
He releases a full breath and nods, his acceptance that we should change the subject.
“No worries—she’s at my place looking for a job with Alex,” he says.
“A job?” She can’t have a job. If she gets a job, she won’t have any time to work on the store and that would leave it all to me and I don’t have time for that. She has to fix her mistake.
I shove past him and jog down the steps. I still need to stop by the administration office before I can get back to Skylar. The part of my life that is making everything even more difficult than my life already was.
“Hey man, I’ll be at the gym if you change your mind about some hoops!” Conner shouts behind me.
For once, I just want one person to accept the choices I make.
Chapter Six
Skylar
The feeling of fresh air and the sun warm against my skin is always a great way to put me in a good mood. And Lord knows after the last week I’ve had, I need it. Luke is still being a royal dick ever since he returned to the store that day and I was already inside. It makes helping out at the bookstore so I can keep a place to live hard. Luckily, I have one job interview in a dentist office lined up, and hopefully, I’ll hear something back on the other jobs soon. I gave them the number at the bookstore to contact me. That was a fun moment when Luke answered the phone and they asked for me.
I’d love to see Luke’s face when he shows up at the bookstore this morning and I’m not there. Beth and Alex wanted to hit the trail at least one more time before the fall weather, and I didn’t want to say no. I’ve needed a stress-free day like this.
“So, it’s been a week. Are you and Luke getting along yet?”
“No,” I answer Beth’s question with no hesitation. We’re about halfway up the first hill and have already stopped for water and to catch our breath.
“And whose fault is that?” she asks.
“That’s all Luke. I’ve tried, and I’ve not complained once no matter how bad I want to when he gets to ranting. He rambles so much. And that hand-brushing-through-the-hair thing he does when he gets really frustrated is so lame. But not as lame as when he balls up his fist so hard I think the veins in his arms are going to pop.”
“So you like him and he is still a jerk. Don’t you hate it when that happens?” Alex laughs and she leads us all up the hill a little farther.
“I don’t like him.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Nope.”
“I bet if you stopped being so … hmm, what is the delicate way to put this? It’s not immature, but more that you act like you are intentionally trying to piss him off,” she says.
She’s not too far off with that assumption. If he’s going to be mad, I may as well make it worth it, right?
“He’s still convinced I broke into the store.”
“Did you?” Beth asks.
Alex stops, causing me to bump into her and Beth to push into me. Why are we hiking so close together?
“Beth, are you being serious?” Alex asks.
“Not really. I mean Luke is pretty convinced, though. I figure if she is going to admit it to anyone, it would be us.”
“I didn’t break into the store. I saw two people running away from it, I swear.”
So much for a relaxing morning. I walk faster, my body feeling warm as I
try not to overreact to Beth’s question, but it kind of pisses me off. I have two friends in this town and one of them might not believe me.
“Okay, well, what did these people look like?” Beth goes on.
“I didn’t get a close look, but they were wearing all black and had on masks.”
“That’s like the typical robbery attire,” she says through breaths behind me.
“Which means they are amateurs,” I say.
“Why does it mean that?” Alex joins in.
“Because they couldn’t be more creative?” It sounded a lot better when I said it in my head.
“That isn’t going to work. What else do you have? Alex said you were going to look for these people, but what have you done?”
“Honestly, nothing. I don’t even know where to begin looking. Unless two people wearing all black, both the exact same height and running exactly the same, were to walk up and offer to run down the sidewalk so I can place them at the store that night, I’m out of luck.”
“What, like twins?”
At this rate, we’ll never finish this hike.
“Yes, exactly like twins,” I say.
“Did you know Luke has a set of younger twin sisters?”
“I did not know that; thanks for filling me in.” I keep walking.
Would his sisters have a reason to do this? I would hope not.
“Maybe you were sleepy and saw the same person twice?” Beth asks.
“Nope, that wasn’t it.”
I stop again, since it’s clear we can’t talk and walk at the same time. “Beth, I’m not suggesting you need to pick a side, but I get the feeling that you believe Luke a little more than you believe me.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, Sky. But it’s Luke, I’ve known the guy for forever, and ever since his dad died, he hasn’t been the same.”
“His father died?” I ask, my voice raising slightly.
“Yes, and the store was his father’s favorite thing in life other than his family.”
I bet those Poe books were his dad’s. He misses his dad. And that idea makes me sadder than thinking of my own father.