by Jami Wagner
“I think … I think we should just get some space … for a bit.”
“But—”
“Please, Luke.”
He drops his hold on my arm, and I head up the stairs. When I reach the top, I glance over my shoulder. Luke is still standing at the bottom. He’s holding the door open with his hand hanging in front of him.
Defeat, yeah, I’m feeling it too. I lock myself in my apartment, and thankfully I don’t work tonight. It means I don’t come out for the rest of the day.
Luke
I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept envisioning Sky’s face when I yelled at her.
I can’t believe I said all that to her. I’ve never even thought 90 percent of the shit that came out of my mouth. I mean, I wouldn’t have taken the money if she offered it. I go on and on about the value of hard work; taking it would be wrong for so many reasons. School, yeah, I probably should have taken time off. I don’t go to class half the time because I’m with Sky or at the store. The shifts at the bar—okay, I’ve thought about that decision too, but only because I started to make time for myself, I missed it and wanted more. But Sky … god, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to show her how wrong I was. But I have to start somewhere, and that’s why I’m walking up to Mom’s door now.
Okay.
I’m going to do it. I’m going inside and just ask them. For me, but mostly for Sky. She deserves the truth.
God, I’m such a dick.
I’ll be calm and understanding if my sisters did it, and if not, then I’ll expect the screaming teenage anger that comes from accusing them of something they didn’t do. Girls are forgiving for that kind of stuff, aren’t they? I could be setting a new record on how fast you can turn every woman in your life against you.
I open the door quietly, hoping to get in a few words with Mom before Brandy and Shea find me. I want to be able to go to them. I want to get the first word in.
“Luke, I wasn’t expecting you to come by today.” Mom smiles over the top of her book from the couch. The book cover is different than the last book I saw in her hands. Mom’s always been a reader. According to my dad, that was one of the reasons he was so drawn to her.
“I actually came by to talk to the twins. Are they home?”
“Upstairs, watching a movie last I saw them,” she says. “Is everything okay, Luke?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“And Sky, how is she?”
I feel my face practically break in two at the fake smile I give her. “She’s good.” Lying to Mom feels like I’m being kicked in the heart, but she doesn’t need to be loaded down with my problems.
“I hope you’ll bring her over for Thanksgiving next week.”
“I’ll ask her, but she might have plans or be going home. We haven’t talked about it,” I say and then turn for the stairs. More lies. Yeah, I asked Sky. But the chances she will still come aren’t looking good.
“Luke, have I ever told you about how your father and I met?” Mom asks.
“Yeah, you were working in the store, and he couldn’t get you to leave him alone.” I laugh, remembering Dad’s shortened version of the story. Mom laughs, too.
She closes her book and sets it on the table.
“But did we ever tell you about the first, very first, time we met?”
I sit down, sensing there is going to be more than a short version to the story. I shake my head.
“Well, I was seventeen, just a few weeks shy of my birthday, and I was mad. Mad that my parents had just told me they couldn’t afford to buy me a gift that year. That would make the third year that money kept me from a gift. I should have accepted it, but I couldn’t.” She smiles. “I was walking past the bookstore when a blue cover caught my eye. I couldn’t stop looking at it. It was both bright and soft at the same time. The big white letters of the title looked like clouds in the sky. I wanted that book.”
She scoots close to me and pats me on the knee as she laughs.
“I saw your dad behind the counter when I went in, and I asked him if he could find me a book. I can’t tell you what book I asked for, but he got up and went to the back to see if they had it. When he came back out, I was almost through the front door with that blue book.
“He yelled and chased me about half a block. And then he dragged me by the arm to face his father, and I tell you, Luke, I was more terrified of that man than I was thinking about how I had to tell my own parents what I’d done.
“Your grandfather must have taken pity on me though, after I broke down and told him why I did it. Then he made me a deal. He told me that on my eighteenth birthday I should come back to the store and fill out paperwork to be an employee. He’d give me a job, an apartment to live in, and a store full of books I could read anytime. Then he told your father that if he’d had as much passion as I did for even just one book, maybe he’d be able to own the store one day.”
She looks up, tears filling her eyes, and I hug her. Still a bit lost on why she is telling me this, but I won’t dare tell her that.
“Your father hated that store. Hated it every day of his life. But he kept it because he knew it made me happy. How he fell in love with me will never be my story to tell, but yours Luke, you still have time to write it. And if selling the store is really what you want to do, I won’t stand in your way.”
I lean back. “How did you know about that?”
“The bank called, said they couldn’t reach you, and wanted to know if you were able to get the inspector to come out.”
“Wow, Mom, I’m sorry. I really wish I’d have been the one to tell you.”
“Me, too, but it’s okay. Now, go talk to your sisters about what they’ve done.”
“Wait, what?” I stand and glare up the stairs where I find Brandy and Shea sitting on the top step watching us. They’re both crying and avoiding any eye contact with me.
“You knew?” I ask Mom.
“Well, when you wouldn’t answer their calls, they came to me to ask what they should do. I told them to wait till you came to them.”
“So you did do it?” I ask, turning to look at their tear-streaked faces. My voice booms in the silent room, causing Shea to jump.
Slowly, they nod.
“You let me treat Sky like she was a thief. You let her take the blame for you. Why would you do that to another person? You don’t get to decide who takes the blame for a choice you made. What happened wasn’t her fault, and she shouldn’t ever be treated like …” I don’t even care about the store anymore.
I swallow, but it’s dry and forced as I stand and start for the door. I should really take my own advice sometimes.
“Luke, where are you going?” Mom asks.
“I have to do something.”
“Wait!” she yells, and I stop. They get five minutes, tops. I have to talk to Sky. Soon.
“We didn’t want you to give your life up for that place like Dad did,” Brandy says after Mom nods for her to continue the conversation I’m ready to walk out on.
“We just wanted you to be happy, and we thought if the store was gone, you could be you again. Not the guy who thinks he has to take care of everyone,” Shea says. “You thought it was Sky, and we thought that would … I don’t know.”
“We didn’t think Skylar would stick around. Then she did and you started to date her and we didn’t know what to do.” Brandy sighs, leaning her head onto Shea’s shoulder.
I pause, trying to come up with something to say. “You should have said something. Just told someone, anyone.” My tone is much lighter than before.
“Luke, we just want our brother back. We’re sorry,” Shea says.
“I’m right here. I didn’t go anywhere. I’m the person I’ve always been.”
Almost.
“No,” they all say in unison, including my mother.
“You’re you now. Love will do that to a person,” Mom says and picks up her book. I look back to my sisters, who give me their best attempt at a smile before they
both apologize. I don’t know how to respond though because I’m not thinking about what they did anymore.
Love.
Am I in love? With Sky?
I head straight for the door, not saying another word. I may not know where I’m going once I’m in my truck, but I know one thing for sure, I am in love with Skylar. I don’t even need to question it. I love her. Hopefully, I’m not too late.
Chapter Seventeen
Skylar
I freaking hate men. Hate. The runner-up to hating men? Money. I hate money just as much.
“Whoa, girl, you pedal any faster and the wheel may actually come off that bike, defeating the whole stationary point of it.”
I slow my movements. Beth is right. I was pedaling out my frustration.
“My bad,” I say as she goes back to her browsing through her magazine.
You know what else makes me even madder? That part of me that still wants to go to Luke. To pretend he said none of what he really said. To go back to how it was. Mack and I disagreed so many times, and how I felt then never mattered. Would Luke care?
“Okay, you’re doing it again. So, please, do spill what has got you so worked up.”
“It’s nothing,” I say. Luke and I should work out our problems. Just us. No one else.
“What did Luke do?”
I stop pedaling.
“How do you know he did something?”
“All my friends have been heartbroken at some point. I know the look.”
“Oh, well, it’s nothing really. We just need to talk it out.”
Yeah, exactly. See, I just needed to say it out loud.
“Sky.”
Beth’s magazine goes in the air and my hand flies to my heart at the sound of Luke’s voice.
“Whoa, Luke, you can’t just sneak up on girls like that.” Beth rises from her bike to retrieve her magazine. I can see her from the corner of my eye. Luke, though, isn’t looking anywhere but at me. I shush my fluttering heart and silently tell my lips to stay tight. No matter how excited I am to see him, I will not show it.
“Clearly now is the time you two are going to talk. So I’ll just head to the locker room … bye … anyone? … No one wants to say good-bye? Okay, fine.” I heard every word Beth said, but I can’t speak. Not with the intensity of Luke’s pleading gaze.
He swallows and looks away.
“Can we go outside? I could walk you back to the store while we talk.”
“Okay.”
I quickly clean my machine and grab my bag from the locker room, where I don’t see Beth. When I reach the front doors to the gym, Luke reaches for my bag.
“I’m so incredibly sorry, Sky.”
I nod but keep looking straight ahead as we head down the sidewalk. “I know.”
“You know I would never use you for money, right?”
I let out a puff of air and shrug. “Nothing is ever a sure thing.”
“Sky, I wouldn’t. I swear.”
“You say that now, but your views could change.”
“They won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You’re right, I don’t. I also don’t know if one day you could realize that this life, with me, isn’t good enough for you and you might leave.”
“Have you not heard anything I’ve said to you? I came here to find myself, Luke; I’m not going back.”
“You say that now, but you could always change your mind,” he says my words cautiously.
“All right,” I say, pausing my step to look up at him. “Now what do we do?”
“We have to trust each other.”
He takes one of my hands in his and laces our fingers together.
“It’s that easy?” I ask.
“No,” he answers, leaning down to kiss the top of my head before we resume walking. “But if you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, we have to at least try, right?”
I nod, finally letting the smile I’d been holding in free. Luke stops us, wrapping our entwined hands behind my back as he leans in to kiss me.
Luke again kisses me good-bye at the door.
We survived our first argument. I should have had that on my list. He said he’d never use me, but he needs money to bring this store back to life. What would I do if he ever did ask me to loan him money? Would I do it? Would I go back to that life for Luke?
I’m just about to step through the door when the sun flashes a glare in front of my face. I glance in that direction to see a shiny Lincoln town car driving away. Every piece of the car—the windows, handles, rims, everything—is matte black. Just the way Mack likes his cars.
The car stops. I wait. Then it turns and is gone.
I shake my head. I’m just overthinking things. I must have had hating men on my mind so much I’m seeing things. And right now, the only thing I should be seeing is which outfit I’m going to wear to Thanksgiving. Even if it’s three weeks away.
Chapter Eighteen
Skylar
I’ve met Luke’s mom a bunch of times. But for some reason tonight seems much more important than all those other times. And this is a holiday. Is she going to be mad that I’m intruding on their family? I could have stayed at the apartment. I mean, any place is better that my parents’ house, so I—
“Why is your leg bouncing so much?” Luke asks. I’m aware it hasn’t stopped bouncing since he picked me up. In my old life, I never worried what people thought of me. My parents had groomed me to be the perfect daughter. I didn’t have to worry about the choices I made because everyone else made them for me. I never did the wrong thing because I was never in a place to make the wrong choice. What if my choices now aren’t good enough for her? What if she tells me I’m not good enough for Luke? Luke clearly has had doubts. Will his mother?
I take a deep breath. I’m not that girl anymore, and I like who I am now better than who I was. She’ll like me because I like me.
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop bouncing it. The nerves are getting to me.”
“But you’ve met my mom before.” He reaches over to squeeze my hand.
“Yeah, I know, but not as your girlfriend.”
“You’re my girlfriend?” he asks, his whole body sitting up straighter in his seat as he grins at me.
Shoot. Am I? Great, now I’m assuming things, and I’m going to ruin this dinner before we even get there. What do I do? I can’t back out now. What would the new me do?
“Yes, I am.”
Ohmygod! I can’t believe I just did that. I love it. Wait—he shouldn’t be frowning.
“What?” I couldn’t have misjudged us that badly. He was just smiling three seconds ago.
“Nothing. I just thought, I don’t know, I would bring you flowers and ask you like we were in high school or something.”
“Oh.”
He’s so cute.
“I mean, you should have done that weeks ago, but you still can if you want,” I joke.
His head falls back to meet the headrest as he laughs. “I just might, but I kind of like the idea that you wanted to be my girlfriend so badly you just decide to call yourself that.”
I swat his arm. “Don’t make jokes right now.”
He chuckles.
I’m two seconds away from asking if his sisters are okay with me coming to dinner when we pull into the single-car driveway of a small, brown house. The driveway is uneven and the white trim on the house is chipped in a few spots, but still, whoever lives here has done what they can to keep up the outside appearance.
Luke walks around the car, opening my door for me.
“Try not to let the first glance of Mom’s house give you any impression of her. I know it’s not anything close to how you lived before.”
He turns for the house, locking his hand with mine, but I tug him back.
Cupping my hand over his cheek until I know he’s looking at me and really listening, I say, “I’m not judging anyone. And that isn’t my life, Luke. I don’t compare anything or anyon
e to where I came from.”
It stings my heart that he would even consider it enough to say something to me.
His eyes close right before he kisses me. “I know. I’m not sure why I even said that.” He wraps his arms around me. “Let’s get inside. It’s getting cold out.”
With his arms around me, we walk side by side to the door. His mother opens it, greeting us with a big smile as we take the last step. “I’m so happy you could make it.”
Luke pulls his mom in for a hug, and when he releases her, she pulls me into an embrace as well.
“I’m so absolutely thrilled to have you here this evening, Sky. It’s going to be the first of many, I hope.”
“I hope so, too.” I hope Luke and I have a lot of firsts together.
“Girls! Girls!” His mother shouts up the stairs as Luke closes the door behind us and takes my jacket.
“My sisters, they uh … they want to talk to you before we eat.” Luke flashes me a tight smile and then glances up the stairs behind his mother. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and stares at the floor. Two mini images of his mother come down the steps. They’re staring at me with the same smile Luke just gave me.
He continues to look elsewhere, and his mother is points to the living room. “Let’s all sit down, shall we?”
All three Warren children move swiftly for the couch.
Why are they all acting so weird?
I take a seat in the open recliner and wait. If I had known I was going to make everyone this awkward, I’d have stayed at the apartment and just waited for Luke. But I also want them to like me, so I have to do something.
“So, Luke tells me you both play volleyball,” I say, hoping to initiate some type of happy conversation. But it doesn’t work. One of them starts to cry, and the other just keeps staring at me.
“No to the volleyball?” I have no idea what just happened.
“We did it. It was us,” one of the girls says between sobs.
“We are so sorry,” the other says.
“Shea, Brandy, let’s pull ourselves together and explain what you’re talking about,” Luke’s mom says. “Shea”—she touches the crying girl’s hand—“why don’t you go first?”