“Baby—”
“Where the fuck was you at?”
“I had to go get some gas, baby, that was all. I forgot when I came home from work, and I knew in the morning I wouldn’t have time. I haven’t been gone that long.”
“You fucking another nigga? Tell me right now.” I walked up on her and she cowered under me, pressing her back into the door. “Are you fucking another nigga?” I asked again, controlling my breathing so I wouldn’t whoop her ass.
Shaking her head, she replied, “No! I would never do something like that. And I’m pregnant, Chaz, how dare you!” tears welled up in her eyes.
Realizing I’d insulted her, I relaxed.
“My bad, come here.” I pulled her into my chest, and she wrapped her arms around my torso. “Next time stay inside and have me go get the gas when I come home.”
“I didn’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re my wife, Jade. You would never be a burden to me, aight?” I looked down into her beautiful face and kissed her lips a couple times. I loved her, I did.
“Okay.”
“I have good news,” I grinned, still holding her.
“Really? What is it?”
“Ish was able to get us on the radio, so pretty soon our song will be playing every damn where. Well not everywhere, but on the radio out here. He’s working on getting some other stations too.”
“And how much do you get from that?”
“Well, we don’t get paid from that radio play directly, but that shit can lead to other things which will pay a lot more than I make right now.”
Currently, Kordell and I made about five grand per performance, and about ten grand a month in music sales. We mostly released free mixtapes, but occasionally we would put out a song or two that you had to pay a dollar for. We made okay money doing this shit, but like every other job in the arts, you only got paid when you were popping or had something to sell. Nothing was guaranteed with this shit, so some months we only had two performances and no music sales because nothing was out. Shit was unpredictable, but in the end, I still made sure all the bills were paid. Saving was my middle name.
“And how long will that take? For this radio play to lead to more money?”
“Really, Jade? Damn!” I shouted, letting her go. “Why can’t you just say congrats and shut the fuck up about it?”
“Because I’m your wife! I need to know when you’re getting paid and if you’re getting paid!”
“I understand that, baby, I do. But you’re making it seem like I’m some starving artist doing open mic and rapping on the corner for change. I pay the bills and I still take you out to dinner and buy you shit once in a while! What is the problem!”
I plopped down on the couch.
“Music is not safe! That’s the problem! We have a baby coming, and that means there is no room for you to have a bad month and not make any money! All I want, Chaz, is for you to get a little job on the side that can catch you when you fall.” She softened her tone and sat next to me on the couch.
“When I fall?”
I shook my head at her and got up.
Storming into the bathroom, I locked the door and then turned on the shower. I stripped down to my boxers and sat down on the closed toilet top to allow the water to get warm, before grabbing my phone from my jeans lying on the floor. Going into my text app, I tapped Erynne’s and my conversation and just stared.
I felt like shit for being interested in her the way that I was. I wasn’t lovesick or anything like that because for one, I didn’t know her ass from Adam. But I did find myself thinking about her fine ass on occasions, when I should only be thinking of Jade. We’d talked since I blew up on her, but not about much really. I apologized for going ape shit on the beach, and from then on, I would hit her up to see how she was doing here and there.
Me: Are you awake?
I locked my phone and took a piss before hopping into the shower. After I got out, I wrapped a towel around my waist and brushed my teeth, before throwing my clothes in the hamper and exiting the bathroom. On my way to the bedroom, I hit the home button of my phone and saw Erynne had texted me back saying she was awake.
Slipping on some boxers and tossing my towel onto the chair in the room, I walked out and went into the extra bedroom to lie down. As soon as I slipped under the covers, Jade walked in and stood in the doorway glaring. She had on a big t-shirt and her hair wrapped up. Even like that, she was still beautiful as hell.
“Marriage is a compromise, Chaz. All I’m asking is you get a part-time job just in case.”
“Jade, take yo’ ass to bed before you start some shit you ain’t gon’ wanna finish.”
“You’re not coming to bed with me?”
“I’m absolutely not coming to bed with you.”
She mumbled something before leaving and slamming the bedroom door. Once I felt like Jade was in our bed, I dialed Erynne’s number. I waited as the line trilled.
“I didn’t say you could call me,” she chuckled lowly. An immediate smile appeared on my face upon hearing her innocent voice.
“I don’t need permission to do what I want.”
“That’s obvious.”
“What you doing?”
“Watching this movie. I’m trying to stay up late since I don’t have work tomorrow.”
“What?” I laughed. “What does staying up late have to do with you not working tomorrow? Why is that a requirement?”
“Because if I go to sleep early when I’m off the next day, I feel like I wasted a night.”
“I guess that makes some sense.”
“It does. What are you doing? I hope you’re not lying next to your wife and talking to me on the phone.”
“Nah, I’m not. And I’m talking to you, that’s what I’m doing.”
“I feel special, even though I probably shouldn’t. How is your new project coming along? I know you said it was finished.”
“Yeah, it is. Mischief let us hear it today, and since we approved the mixes he’s gonna go ahead and master it.”
“Nice! I can’t wait to hear. And what about the video? I need to see my cameo so I can floss on these bitches out here,” she said, making us both laugh.
“Editor is finishing up. Ishmael got us some radio play coming, so we’re gonna drop it after that.”
“Radio? That’s great, Chaz. I’m happy to see you going for what you want; you and Laine. It makes me want to do the same but I’m too scared.”
“It’s because you don’t believe in yourself, Erynne.”
“What? Yes I do!”
“Nah, you don’t. If God came to you right now and said move to California to pursue hair, and you will not fail, when would you leave?”
“Shit, if God is telling me this then probably tomorrow,” she giggled.
“Exactly. The only reason you’re scared is because you feel like you may fail. If you knew you’d be successful no matter what, you wouldn’t be afraid.”
“True. Laine gave me a nice offer, but I’m not sure yet.”
“Well, I hope you come. If not, at least visit again so we can chill.”
“I wanna see you record if I do.”
“Why?”
I don’t know. I think it’d be cool to see it all come together. Then if I hear it on the radio I can say I was there.”
“I got you then, just come. If you need help getting here, let me know.”
It was quiet for a little bit and I was pretty sure I knew why. Erynne was a good girl and she felt weird talking to me knowing I had a wife. It was weird for me too though. I wasn’t that nigga that cheated and had multiple women. That type of shit never attracted me like it did my brothers. I saw how badly my father’s infidelity hurt my mother and made her crazy, so I refused to do that shit. But Erynne was making it hard to stay true to myself.
“Okay,” she finally replied.
I believe we stayed up talking on the phone until 4am. I woke up at 6am and saw the call was still going be
cause we never said goodbye; we just dozed off. I tapped the red button to hang up, and then drifted off to sleep. Hopefully, Erynne and I could just be cool and my marriage could go back to what it used to be, because right now my dick was developing a mind of its own.
Cassie
One week later…
“And when you turn your head, Cassie, blink slowly so we can really see the eye makeup and the lashes,” Jeneane, the owner of this lash and makeup company Angelic Lashes, instructed me.
Angelic Lashes was a high grade of fake eyelashes, and currently everybody was on the company’s nuts. I was flabbergasted to say the least when I got an email from her assistant asking to meet with them about modeling. The pay was great of course, but would have been better if I didn’t have to give Jude ten percent. I couldn’t wait until the contract was up because I felt like I could already branch off and it hadn’t even been a year.
“Alright, we’re done. Great job, Cassie,” the photographer smiled as he pulled his big camera from his eye and stood up straight.
Since this shoot was only a bust one, meaning from the collarbone up, I was able to keep my jeans on. All I did was take off my tube top and put on some nude cups with a gummy texture so it’d appear that I was naked or wearing a strapless top.
I took the robe that Jeneane’s assistant handed me, and then stood up since Jeneane was waiting for me. When I made it to her, we started walking together.
“We’ve already wired the money to you, Cassie. I just wanted to thank you again. And since you’re here, I wanted to know if you’d be interested in coming back to model again? I’m launching new eyeshadows in the next coming months, and I’d love for you to shoot them.”
“Absolutely, I would love to.”
“Great, well here is your gift bag.”
She grabbed a huge gold bag off the table sitting near us, and handed it to me. I looked inside to see a whole bunch of makeup and lashes from her brand, organic body butters from someone I’d never heard of, two Victoria’s Secret sweat suits, and a bottle of Marc Jacobs perfume.
“Oh my gosh, Jeneane. This is for free?” I looked up from the bag as she laughed.
“Yes, it’s the least we can do to thank you.”
I felt so weird taking all this but I wasn’t gonna give it back if it was a gift.
“Thank you so much, I appreciate all of it.”
I talked with Jeneane for a little longer, then went to the dressing room so I could put my shirt and tennis shoes back on.
I was supposed to take my daughter to get ice cream today and then she wanted to go to the park again. She was so little, and going to the park with her was a full-on workout. I couldn’t wait until she got to be older and I could watch her from the park bench. Then again, as paranoid as I was about Miles and other perpetrators, I’d probably still follow her around.
I picked up my Louis Vuitton purse and just smiled at the fact that I even had it. I remember looking at these online back home in the library, wondering if I would ever have one. I got this one last week, and it seemed like it was a dream. I know some people had hundreds of these, but for me this was a life event.
I left out of the building and hopped into my car so I could hurry up and get to Long Beach where my baby was. After about forty-five minutes of pure Los Angeles 405 freeway traffic, I made it to my mother’s condo that I paid monthly for. As soon as I pulled over, I got two texts back to back. Funny enough, it was one from Miles and one from Kordell.
Unknown: Why can’t we talk? I’m giving you a chance to save yourself, take it. If not, when I find you, California won’t seem so sunny for you anymore.
I stared down at Miles’ message for a little longer, before backing out and going to Kordell’s text. I needed to put the fact that Miles knew what state I was in, to the back of my mind.
Kordell: You busy? Wanted to hang with you before the studio later.
Me: Hang with me or fuck me?
Kordell: All of the above.
Me: Sorry I’m busy.
I was starting to like Kordell because we were going about this shit all wrong. We were supposed to sleep together and that’s it, but we texted and talked on the phone like we were trying to build something. I felt myself developing feelings and I didn’t want that to happen. I thought I was okay until I saw him comment something on a girl’s picture on Instagram, and her reply, telling him to call her. The way I felt seeing that let me know that I liked him a lot. It made it worse that the girl was beautiful.
From the first time I saw Kordell, I thought he was the most handsome nigga ever, and he still is. Tall as hell, built, long golden brown dreads, perfectly trimmed facial hair, and tattoos on damn near every inch of his beautiful light golden complexion. But when I went home with him that first night, I was completely turned off by his personality or what I thought was his personality. Since becoming fuck buddies, he’d shown me that his mind could expand beyond the bedroom, and I liked seeing that side of him. I guess if I just stopped hanging with him altogether, I would be okay.
Him texting me back pulled me from my thoughts, so I dropped my phone into my purse and got out of the car. When I walked into the living room, I saw my mom watching TV, and Melody playing with her toys. As soon as she saw me, she hopped up and rushed to me. I dipped down after placing my purse onto the couch, and scooped her up.
“Mommy, what happened to breakfast?” she pouted as I kissed her cheek.
“I had to work, I’m sorry, baby. Did you eat?”
She nodded her head and giggled, before pulling my face in and whispering, “It was nasty.”
We laughed together before I scanned the living room to see it was pretty clean despite her toys being scattered everywhere.
“Did she take a bath, Mama?” I questioned my mother.
“Yes, Cassandra. You do her hair though because she screams and acts like too much of a damn fool when I do the shit.” She shoved some popcorn into her mouth, staring at the TV.
“Okay.”
I sat down on the couch with Melody so I could start her hair, and as I took it down, I stole a couple glances at my mother.
“Ma, why don’t you go out? The Lakewood mall isn’t too far away. I can give you some money to buy yourself something nice or have lunch.”
“Really.” She stated it dryly more so than asked it.
“Yes, really. If you’d like, Melody and I can go with—”
“No, I need some alone time. I will go by myself.” She stood up. She tried to act like she had an attitude, but I knew my mother and she was happy to get out. “Alright, don’t buy her any new toys. You see this damn living room is a pigsty already, Cassandra.” She headed to the back.
“Yes, Mama.”
“I like toys!” Melody yelped as I finished up her hair. She had on a cute little jumper, and her long hair was now in one big braid in the back, with the edges slicked. My mom always said I gave her hairstyles that were too grown, but I thought it was cute.
“Okay, we’re leaving, Mama!” I shouted to the back as I placed three hundred dollars on the counter, putting her keys on top so she wouldn’t miss it. “Okay, come on cutie.” I scooped Melody up and carried her out.
Once I got her buckled into her car seat, I got inside of my car of choice for the day, and checked my account since I’d forgotten to see if Jeneane had paid. I knew she said she did, but I needed to see it. After I verified that I was low-key balling for the month, I cranked up and started towards Cold Stone Creamery.
“I want the strawberry banana one!” Melody shouted over the whole establishment as we stood in line.
“I know, you get the same thing every time, baby.”
When it came to be my turn, I told the teenage girl which sundaes and what sizes I wanted, and she began to prepare them. I picked Melody up because she liked to watch them make everything.
Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice talking, just as the entrance of the place dinged. As their voice got closer behind me, I heard the
ir last words kind of trail off. I didn’t want to look, but it was inevitable, so I did and played it cool.
“Hold up, let me call you back… Aight.” Kordell hung up his phone and shoved it into his pocket as his eyes repeatedly darted from me to Melody.
“What’s good? This your little sister or something?”
“Hi!” Melody waved to him.
“No, umm, this is my baby, Melody.”
I never told Kordell about her because he was just my fuck buddy. I didn’t owe him anything but a nut, and even then, he may not get that if I got mine and was over it. I honestly didn’t want him meeting my daughter, but there was no way around him catching us in here. It wasn’t just the fact that there would be no future between us, but also too many people seeing Melody may alert Miles and I didn’t want that.
“She’s beautiful. Why you didn’t tell me you had a daughter?”
“For what? I mean, we have s-e-x, it’s not like we’re dating.”
“I mean, yeah, but damn. We talk a lot so I would assume you’d tell me some shit like this, you know?”
“I have my reasons.”
“That will be $12.90, Miss,” the cashier said once she had our things at the register.
“I got it. Add a Cookie Minster on there,” Kordell chimed in, making Melody giggle. “What you laughing at?” he grinned at her.
“Cookie Monster,” she smiled back at him bashfully, as if she had a crush.
“That sounds disgusting. No one likes mint ice cream, Kordell,” I chuckled.
“I do. I love that shit.”
The girl made his sundae and then rung it all up. Kordell wouldn’t let Melody and I get away from his bothersome ass, so he followed us to the park. We found a table, and then three of us started to eat our ice cream there.
“Did you say thank you to Kordell? He bought your ice cream, Mel.”
“Thank you Kor-kor—”
“Kordell,” I repeated for her.
“Dell.”
Kordell and I laughed at the fact that she found his name hard to pronounce. I noticed him just watching her occasionally.
“What?” I quizzed him.
“I just can’t believe you’ve had a kid this whole time and I didn’t know.”
My Baby Is a West Coast King Page 20