“Ace! Look at this mess!” Stopping at the sound of his person’s voice, Ace looked at Pax, then skittered away to the bedroom, flittering flour in every direction under her feet.
Trying to get the worst of the mess out of her hair and face, she brushed flour from her hair and clothing into the kitchen sink. Realizing it was a losing battle, she set out to sweep up the floor before heading to the shower to get cleaned up.
As she was pulling the broom from the utility hall closet, she heard a knock at the door and froze at the noise.
“No! This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening.”
She peered through the peephole and her heart leapt at seeing Seb in the hallway, but she grimaced knowing how she looked. Deciding she couldn’t just ignore him, she opened the door and closed her eyes. The sound of Seb’s laughter penetrated her ears. A red heat coursed through her body, both from desire and embarrassment.
“What happened to you? Did you get in a fight with a flour truck?”
“Ha ha ha. Something like that. I’d say I’m glad you came over, but your timing could be a little better.” A giggle escaped her attempts to remain stoic.
She flung open the door extending her arm out toward the living room. “Come in and join the flour-filled fun!”
He reached to give her a hug, but she held her arm out. “Oh! Not with me looking like this!”
He stopped at the paw prints imprinted in the flour all over the floor.
“It looks like you had a little help with your mess.” Hiding his mouth behind his hand didn’t prevent Pax from seeing his sly grin.
“Yes. Ace, I suppose, tried to be helpful. It didn’t quite work out that way.”
“It sure looks that way. What can I do to help?”
“I think my appearance is a lost cause without a shower. If you don’t mind sweeping the kitchen, I’ll get a quick one and be out a little less ready for the oven myself.”
“Go ahead. I’ll take care of it.”
Starting into the bedroom, Pax stopped and turned to Sebastian. “I’m glad to see you Bash.” She walked into her bedroom leaving a small flour trail with each step.
****
While cleaning the kitchen, Seb continued to laugh at the thought of Pax covered in the white powder. Her embarrassment imprinted in his mind, he thought he should do something to get back in her good graces. Picking up the brownie recipe from the counter, he read over it. “Well, I guess we’ll see if the saying is true if you can read, you can cook.” He deciphered the recipe as best he could, and put what he hoped should be brownie batter in the oven Pax had already preheated. By the time he closed the oven door and started on the dishes, Pax appeared from her bedroom with fresh clothes and clean hair. Her skin glowed from its recent scrubbing and her hair shone in the light from the hallway. He longed to feel her, to touch her. Fighting off the urge, he finished washing the mixing bowl putting it to dry on the counter all the while keeping his thoughts centered on his work, and not on his strong desire to capture her in his arms.
Paxson leaned over the bar inspecting his work. “Wow! Are those brownies in the oven? I believe the scent of brownies cooking could be one of the best smells in the world. I didn’t know you could bake. Talk about keeping secrets…”
Sebastian wrinkled his nose. “Well, I don’t know if I can bake. I guess we’ll find out in twenty minutes or so.”
Paxson clutched her stomach and doubled over in riotous laughter.
Her peals of happiness sent a warm feeling surging through him. “I know you didn’t want flour spilled everywhere, but when you opened the door, I laughed for the first time in days.”
“Thanks... I think. I’m glad you could laugh. I know the times for laughter have been few and far between recently.”
Coming around to her side of the bar he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. “Being with you right now certainly helps my mood.”
Paxson smiled and led him over to the couch. “I want to talk to you about some things I’ve been considering while we were apart.”
Sebastian took a deep breath. “Shoot.”
“I enjoy spending time with you. Even with everything that’s gone on the past couple of weeks, I feel so comfortable with you. This doesn’t mean I’m not afraid of getting hurt by you, but I guess I’m going to take a risk, and hope if you decide to move on, you’ll be kind enough to do it before things go much further. I’ll tell you now, it’s going to be hard for me, because I think I’m already more invested than I want to be.”
Seb looked at Paxson, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. He fought the urge to caress face with his hands.
“Pax, I enjoy being with you, too. More than I realized, as well. I know you’re taking a big risk, because I don’t know myself if I can stick with it. I promise to try and not put you in any situation you’re uncomfortable with. I guess we’ll just see where the road takes us.”
“I’d like that, Bash. Just spending time together is what I think both of us need right now.” Reaching across, she placed her hand in his. “Now how about we try these brownies of yours and see if you can take up a second career as a baker after you retire from baseball, or if we’ll need to call poison control?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Over the next couple of weeks, Pax spent almost every evening with Seb or Tori. She knew better than to put a great friendship on the back burner for the possibility of one with a man. Tori made her laugh, always clamoring for any morsel of information she provided about Seb.
Tori sprawled on Pax’s couch, a bowl of ice cream in hand as a reality show played on the TV in the background. “So, has he mentioned me to any of his friends?”
Leaning over the couch, Pax held her spoon up in the air. “Tori, I hate to tell you this, but your name doesn’t really come up in general conversation.”
“But if he did, you know, mention me. You’d make sure to only speak of me in glowing terms right?”
“Yes, Tori. If your name ever crosses Seb’s lips, I’ll make sure those in the surrounding counties know you’re a decent and loving girl. Who shops too much.”
A pillow smacked her across the chest followed by Tori’s giggle. Laying her bowl on the coffee table, Pax reached for the pillow on the other end of the couch. “Oh. Is that the way you’re going to play it? Well hang on to your socks girl because I’m about to lay you out!”
A loud whoosh filled the room as the pillow flew through the air and landed on Tori’s face. Not to be outdone, Tori jumped off the couch, bowl and spoon falling to the carpet spilling ice cream in several directions. Tori gave them a glance and grimaced before flinging her pillow at Pax.
Knocking the pillow away from her head, Pax spoke in a mock-menacing tone. “Oh you’ve done it now, Tori. I hope you know how to clean because that mess is all you, my friend.”
As more blows landed and incessant giggles filled the small apartment, Ace and KC scurried to hide underneath the recliner. With eyes as big as saucers, the cats watched the girls fight until they collapsed together into a pile on the couch, breathless from laughter.
****
Even though they spent a majority of their time together, Pax never mentioned attending church to Seb. She didn’t want to push him, but prayed he would join her again sometime. As much as she enjoyed being with him, a part of her held back. She knew their relationship could not progress beyond its current state if he couldn’t make the decision to commit to a relationship with the Lord. She remained hopeful a desire for Jesus in his life would one day come to fruition.
But, right now, Seb immersed himself in a grueling off-season workout program. Pax didn’t know if she should be concerned about the amount of time he spent exercising or not. Whether he overloaded himself with strenuous workouts to keep his mind off of the girls, or if he devoted this much time as a regular routine, she never questioned him. Since she’d never dated a professional athlete before, she figured he knew his body well enough to be careful.
&nb
sp; With the Thanksgiving holiday approaching, Pax toyed with the idea of inviting Sebastian back to her home in Alabama. Her family always got together with her dad’s parents, and Pax didn’t plan to miss it even with the eight-hour drive to get there.
Pax knew the holidays would be hard for Sebastian, and didn’t want to intrude if he had already made plans with his parents. But after tossing the idea around for a few days she bucked up and asked him one night at dinner.
“I don’t plan to go back to California anytime soon, Pax. I mainly spent the holidays there to see the girls. I know it will be just as difficult for my parents as it is for me this year and, at my encouragement, they’ve booked a trip overseas for almost the entire month of December. It’s my Christmas gift to them.”
“Well, if you would like to, you are more than welcome to come to Alabama with me for the holidays. I know it might not be easy, but my family would love to have you.”
Sebastian reached across the table to grasp Pax’s hand. “Thank you for the invitation. I promise I’ll consider it.”
A few days before she planned to leave for Alabama, her office phone rang.
“This is Pax.”
“There’s a handsome fella out here in the lobby. He says if you don’t have time for him, he’s going to dump you for your charming receptionist.”
“Tell him to come on back. Oh, and tell him, he if thinks the receptionist is so great, he should try and take you shoe shopping some time. ‘Charming’ might not be the word I would use to describe you when you’re on a hunt for the perfect pair of pumps.”
Tori responded with a “Harrump” and Pax replaced the phone, laughing.
“Hey you.”
Her heart still skipped a beat every time she heard the quiet timbre of his voice. Looking toward the door, his handsome face peered around the door. “Hey, yourself. This is a nice surprise. What brings you by?”
“I know you’re busy, but I’ve been thinking about what you asked me.” Seb moved from the doorway to the chair in front of her desk. “I appreciate you asking me to join your family for the holiday. And if the invitation is still open, I’d like to go.”
“Oh, Bash! I’m so glad. My family is anxious to meet you. Plus, they put together a pretty mean Thanksgiving feast if I say so myself.”
“Well, you know when you mention food, I crumble.” She smiled, then frowned, as he leaned over to look at the floor, clasping his hands between his legs. “There’s one condition, Pax.”
A sense of dread flooded her body. “Okay. I’m listening.”
“Let’s fly down instead of driving, my treat.”
A sigh of relief escaped her lips. “Bash, you don’t have to do that. I don’t mind the drive. I’ve done it several times.”
“Look, the time you have with your family is short as it is. Let me pay to fly us down, we can be there in an hour or so, and then rent a car for the rest of the visit.”
Paxson continued to resist until Seb interrupted. “Look, you have done so much for me. Please let me do this for you.”
Her elbow resting on the desk, she placed her chin in her palm, cocked her head and smiled. “How can I say no? Thank you. You’re too good to me.”
He placed his hand on her arm, his touch sending jolts of electricity down her spine. “No, Pax. You’re too good to me.”
Smiling in return, she couldn’t help but wonder exactly what he meant by that.
****
Jam packed events with family and friends, the holiday went by quickly. Seb appreciated the warm reception he received from all of Paxson’s family. Every family member he met embraced him as if he was one of their own. What he’d feared would be a stifling and overwhelming situation, turned out quite the opposite. Welcoming him into their family didn’t mean they were intrusive, but rather willing to let him participate in activities on his own terms, as his emotions would allow.
Keeping himself in check went better than he thought until their third day there. Jessica, Pax’s sister, led an energetic life chasing after three little ones. Her husband, Shaun, realizing her need for some down time without the kids, offered to take them outside for a few hours so Jessica could relax. Watching Shaun and his girls through the window while they played together in the backyard, an intense feeling of loss hit Seb all of a sudden. The hole in his heart seemed to deepen and widen in that brief moment. Although most of the family chatted like nothing unusual happened, Seb quickly left the room and escaped to the upstairs guest room.
Sitting on one of the two twin beds occupying the room, he buried his head in his hands. Light tapping sounded on the door. Assuming Pax had come to check on him, he didn’t raise his head. “It’s okay Pax. I’ll be alright in a minute.”
“Seb. Can I come in?”
Surprised, Seb looked up to see Brad, Pax’s father in the doorway. “Sure sir, come on in.”
Crossing the room, the older man sat across from him on the other twin bed. Although in his late sixties, Pax’s dad didn’t look a day over fifty. An avid runner, he kept in great shape through diet and exercise. Seb could only hope to look as good Brad at that age.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I have gone over and over in my mind what it would feel like if I lost Pax, Rachel and Jessica. I think I might go crazy if that happened. But I have to tell you son, it’s evident to me how much you loved your daughters.”
“I did, sir. So much.”
“I know, Seb. If you didn’t, then it wouldn’t be so hard to see Shaun with his kids. I give you a lot of credit for agreeing to come out here. A lot of people in your situation would have chosen to sit at home and dwell on their grief. But you didn’t do that. And I commend you.”
Brad reached across the room placing his hand on Seb’s knee. “You also have every right to be sad and to get emotional about it. None of us will ever think ill of you for needing to get away when things get too difficult. It’s going to take time, don’t forget that.”
He gave Seb’s knee a squeeze and then he slipped out of the room.
****
Seb dropped Pax off at her apartment on the way home from the airport after their return flight. He seemed more exhausted than usual, and Pax realized he’d been covering up his emotions more than she realized. “Bash, I’m sorry I wasn’t more considerate to realize how difficult it would be for you to see my sisters’ children. I apologize.”
He turned to her, eyes wet with unshed tears. “No. Don’t apologize. I don’t begrudge the fact your sisters have beautiful kids. I’m happy for them, truly I am. I’m going to have to learn to deal with events like this. The sooner the better.” His gaze turned to look out the front windshield, his thoughts elsewhere.
Taking his hand in hers, she paused before speaking. “Do you want to come up for a while?”
“No. I think I better get home and get unpacked. I’ve got to work off all the pounds I put on at your grandmother’s house if I’m going to be in shape for the season.” His soft attempt at humor didn’t hide his sadness.
Pax nodded in understanding. “Don’t overdo it, and get some rest. I’ll talk to you later.”
Sebastian kissed her on the cheek before she got out of the car and retrieved her small bag from the back seat.
Putting the car in reverse, he raised his hand in her direction, and then drove off. Paxson realized that for the first time since they met, Seb hadn’t gotten out to open the door for her.
****
Even though Seb knew Pax’s dad spoke the truth, the time it would take to get over losing his family loomed unendingly. The only joy he found in life happened when he was with Pax, Linc, and Rangy, or while he was exercising. An intense focus on getting back on the diamond ruled almost every waking moment. Determined to be in the best physical shape possible when the new season started, he put himself through grueling daily workouts. Baseball saw him through his divorce, and it would see him through this agonizing part of life.
Besides his devotion to w
orking out and time spent with Pax, his dealings with LLS were on standstill until the New Year. Since most of the TNT training groups didn’t form until after the holidays, Seb taped advertising spots, anxiously awaiting the time he could do some surprise showings at the training events in the New Year. That way he could combine his workouts with his charitable activities at the same time and, of course, spend more time with Pax.
Seb wished he could skip Christmas altogether, but he also wanted to find a way to show Paxson how much he appreciated her. He knew she worried about his reaction to spending time with her family at Thanksgiving. He hadn’t handled things well when he dropped her off at her apartment. He’d made sure to apologize to her the next time he saw her, and she graciously told him not to worry about it, but he knew she was concerned.
He was thankful Pax never put any pressure on him to “evangelize” him and, in turn, he never put pressure on her to do more than she was comfortable with physically. Their physical attraction still sat at an all-time high, but Sebastian respected her enough to not try anything. Except for the constant sadness of losing his girls, Seb felt as happy as he could with the way things were.
With Christmas approaching, Seb still couldn’t think of the right gift to get Pax. After spending a Saturday with her watching college football on TV, an idea sparked. Seb thought Tori would be the best person to talk to about his plan, hoping perhaps she could give him some ideas for something Paxson desired, but would never ask for.
Trying to speak to Tori without Pax knowing became a challenge. Catching the vivacious redhead at the office alone became nearly impossible with the constant interruptions by Pax and Michael. Plus, he didn’t want Pax to get suspicious. Seb finally opted to make a lunch appointment with Tori when he knew Pax would be out of the office.
Sitting across the table from her, Seb sensed Tori’s nervousness. She wrapped and unwrapped her napkin around her hand over and over. “Tori, why are you nervous? We’re friends aren’t we?”
Just a Little Faith Page 12