Bitter Sweet Love

by R. C. Stephens

  “Here, let me get you a drink.” Luc brings me a cold bottle of spring water from the fridge. It’s refreshing going down my throat. He also orders me some toast from room service. After I eat the toast I feel a lot better.

  “Do you want to join me on the beach now?” I ask him.

  I don’t know, but I could swear that I smelled alcohol on his breath. My senses are hypersensitive, and I know the scent of a drunk. I just wonder when he started to drink so early in the morning and why.

  “Sorry, Alexis. I still have things to take care of,” he says, repeatedly running his fingers through his hair.

  I get up from the bed, my heart beating fast as the smell of alcohol causes old wounds to come alive. It’s too much for me to be in the same room as him so I grab my beach bag and walk out quietly. Luc is working intensely on his laptop and doesn’t notice. My breathing steadies as I leave the room. My body registered danger.

  Walking toward the beach, I notice the sun is sitting on the ocean, still rising. I find a lounge chair facing the water and enjoy watching the surfers out on their boards. Just the view itself is relaxing and I begin to enjoy my tropical paradise, listening to the waves crash into the shoreline. Each roll against the sand sounds thunderous. It‘s winter, so the tide is high, and a lot of people are out. I’d like to try surfing on the trip, but I’ll wait to do it with Luc. I soak in the sun by myself. I don’t need Luc. If he doesn’t have time for me, that’s fine.

  “Lexi, I can’t believe you are finally mine,” Dylan says, nuzzling my neck in our honeymoon suite on the French Riviera.

  “Of course, Dylan. I’ve always been yours, only yours. You know I always dreamed we would honeymoon on the French Riviera?” I tell him in between our heated kiss.

  “I remember you speaking endlessly of France. That’s why I had to bring you here.” His voice is low and deep, his very erect penis presses in between my thighs. “I’ve been waiting to get you back in this room all morning. Having to watch you in that white string bikini and your body all greased up with suntan lotion was painful.”

  I smile fondly at him and my arms wrap around his neck. I press my lips to his. “That body of yours has had my mouth watering all morning, too.” I sigh into his mouth.

  “I’m glad you were enjoying the view, Mrs. Priestley.” Dylan smirks at me.

  “Mrs. Priestley, mmm, I like the sound of that.”

  “Excuse me, excuse me, miss! You should really wake up. The sun here in Kauai is very strong. You should sit in the shade. We’re close to the equator here, and it looks like your skin isn’t used to these types of rays.” A tall, blond, preppy looking guy has stopped by my chair and is leaning above me.

  “Oh, thanks, I must have dozed off. I’m getting up anyway. I feel totally parched. I’ll head over to the bar for a drink.” I flush. My dream felt so real. “Sorry, what was your name?”

  “Nathan Strauss. I come down here often for little mini vacations every once in a while. I have a villa on the island, and I walk down this beach every day. I saw that you fell asleep, and I didn’t want you to suffer the consequences of being out here for too long.” Nathan points to the sun. Tall and built, he’s slightly brown from the sun and his blond hair blows in the wind — the quintessential California boy.

  “Thanks, Nathan. I’m Alexis White. It’s nice to meet you and thank you for stopping.” I give Nathan my hand to shake when suddenly out of nowhere Luc comes charging toward us and punches Nathan in the face.

  Nathan loses his balance and falls to the sand. His nose is bleeding heavily and a large bruise is forming around his eye.

  “Oh my! Luc, what’s wrong with you? Why did you hit this poor man? Nathan, I’m so sorry. What can I do?” I crouch down to help him up, but he gets up on his own, holding his eye. I run to the bar and get him some ice and tissues. I apologize to him endlessly, but Luc grabs me by the arm, literally hauling me back to our room. “People are watching us. Let go of my arm and stop treating me like a child!” I yell at Luc.

  My blood rushes to my head and I feel a little dizzy as he pulls me to our room. This isn’t real. The dizziness turns into a cold shiver and I fear him for the first time.

  “You’ve gone too far this time,” he says, his voice rough.

  “Too far with what?” I ask, reeling from what just happened.

  “With your flirting. You’re on a fucking vacation with me. Act like it.”

  At those words my eyes go wide. He did not just accuse me of flirting. “Are you for real? I’ve done nothing wrong. I fell asleep in the sun, and Nathan was nice enough to stop and wake me up,” I say, waving one hand in the air because Luc still has a tight grip on my other hand.

  “Are you that stupid? Look at you, flaunting your body in that bikini. The man was trying to pick you up,” he says, laughing to himself in this evil way, like he’s trying to prove how naïve I am.

  “You have no right to call me names and I’m not stupid. He was just being a good Samaritan, that’s all!” I shout back.

  “Believe whatever you want. That man wanted in your panties. You’re my girlfriend, and you should not be talking with other men.”

  I can’t believe how he’s treating me. I’m in shock. I’ve done nothing wrong. What the hell has gotten into him?

  “You’ve got to be kidding me! Just because we’re together doesn’t mean I can’t speak with other people. Give me a break. You’re being ridiculous right now and poor Nathan’s paying the price with your violent behavior,” I retort.

  “Oh, so now you’re worried about poor Nathan? Do you know that guy? Are you sleeping with him?” he asks, shoving his face close to mine.

  At this point I feel intimidated. His temper is flaring and I don’t feel comfortable with him so close to me. Fear runs through my veins, and I want to scream at him and tell him how enraged I am that he’s belittled me in public. But I can’t do it. I’m not sure if he’ll strike me if I do. My thoughts terrify me more than his present actions. I don’t know what he’s capable of, and I need to mellow the situation so I won’t have to find out. Anxiety will only make me look weak in his eyes.

  “You’re being completely insane right now, and I’m not continuing this conversation. I’m going to take a shower. I think I may have burned my skin a little bit,” I say, pulling my arm away from him and walking into the bathroom of our hotel room.

  The shower in the suite is huge, ten times the size of my shower in the apartment. The warm water relaxes my tense muscles. I feel like I’m shaking from the inside out. I was so embarrassed when Nathan woke me up. The fantasy dream I was having about Dylan felt so real. Mrs. Priestley? The thought makes my heart tingle. But I’m lucky he woke me or else I would be in big trouble right now with a bad sunburn. I rub my hand along my arm. Luc was squeezing it so tight, and I’m sure a bruise is going to form.

  I don’t understand what’s wrong with him. His behavior’s become bizarre since we landed yesterday. It’s like he’s done a one-eighty on me. I could also swear that I smelled alcohol on his breath again and it’s only eleven thirty in the morning. And I’m so embarrassed that the concierge watched him drag me to the elevator. Luc’s being a domineering asshole. If he was drunk, he needs to know that I can’t be with him. I can’t live with a person who drinks a lot.

  I get out of the shower and put on a yellow sundress. Luc is on his laptop, but he gets up when he sees me.

  “Hey, mon cherie, I booked us a romantic dinner at an Italian restaurant. You like Italian, don’t you?” he asks, his voice sweet and quiet.

  “You know I do. It’s my favorite,” I reply with the same sugary tone, not wanting to reveal the acid I feel burning in the back of my throat.

  “Great, so we can walk to the restaurant. The concierge made a reservation and he said it’s not that far.” Luc spends the rest of the day on his laptop and I leave the room to walk along the beach. He doesn’t make a comment when I go. I find an empty hut away from the sun and lie back in a lounge chair. My
earlier unease melts away from the distance between us, but are Ash and Dylan right about him? Is Luc a criminal? I would have never agreed to go away with him had he revealed himself to be so temperamental back home. I know he has pressure from his father, but what has his father done to make him lash out this way? Not able to get any immediate answers I decide to drown out my thoughts. I pull my e-reader out of my bag.

  ***

  Later in the afternoon, I’m in the suite getting ready to go out for dinner. Luc is dressed in a casual beige button-down linen top and a pair of white shorts. I slip on a white sundress, and he leans in to give me a soft kiss on the cheek. I can no longer smell the alcohol on his breath.

  We walk out of our hotel lobby and I inhale the fresh night air. The hotel pathways are lined with endless tropical flowers, and the light breeze blowing over me from the ocean makes me feel as relaxed as the other tourists walking down the street seem to be.

  The restaurant is beautiful with a lot of booths for two set up all around. It has a dark ambiance, but the light of the candles provide a romantic glow. The hostess seats us at our table and Luc holds my hand.

  “Mon cherie, you look beautiful. The sun tan really suits you.” He’s trying to be sweet, but it’s hard to forget his earlier behavior.

  “Thanks,” I say, forcing a smile.

  “I got you something.” Luc pulls out a box that says Cartier on it and my heart almost stops. I’ve never really gotten an expensive gift before, and I’m not sure I like the idea. He opens the box and there is a beautiful diamond necklace in the shape of an O. “Do you like it?” he asks.

  “I love it, but you really shouldn’t have spent your money on something like this. As it is I don’t like the fact that you paid for the trip by yourself.”

  “Alexis, I just want you to be happy. Money is not an issue. I’m glad you agreed to come away with me.”

  I silently think that it didn’t look that way today when he was cursing and sending me out on my own.

  The waitress comes over to our table and Luc orders a bottle of red wine. The truth is that my stomach is still turning since this morning, and I’m not in the mood to drink. We order gnocchi in a rosé sauce with wild mushrooms. It’s delicious and we sit, quietly eating the food. Luc drinks the entire bottle himself. He’s happy, giddy, and totally wasted. When he gets up from the table, he’s knocking things over. It brings my mind back to the times when my mother acted inappropriately and I’d have to go pick her up from the bar.

  We walk back to the hotel and Luc is being idiotic. “You are so beautiful, Alexis. You have the best breasts I’ve ever seen.” Suddenly he’s groping my breast in public.

  “Luc, cut it out. You’re embarrassing me,” I say, shooing his hands off of me. Luckily he stops because my next thought is to knee him in the groin. We get back to the hotel, and I catch the concierge glaring at Luc’s rambunctious behavior. Back in the room, he falls on the bed, pulling me with him.

  “You’re so fucking hot, Alexis. Suck my dick. I love when you suck my dick,” he slurs.

  Maybe if he wasn’t drunk, I would do it, but he’s completely turning me off. I want to get as far away from him as possible. He pulls me on top of him and starts squeezing my behind. Breathe, Alexis. Breathe, I tell myself. I have to force air into my lungs, trying hard to inhale and exhale. Before I can knee him in the balls to get away from him, Luc passes out.

  I yank the door open and grab my room key. I can’t get outside fast enough. Going into the elevator in my state is going to be tough because when I get like this, I feel claustrophobic on top of everything. I get on the elevator and when it lands on the main floor, I bolt straight for the boardwalk at the back of the hotel that runs along the beach. It’s dark outside, and I don’t know how safe it is, but I don’t care right now.

  “Hey, Alexis, is that you?” I hear a man’s voice, but not expecting to be interrupted, I flinch. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he says, moving in a little closer. It’s Nathan.

  “No, it’s okay. I must have been deep in thought,” I respond, pressing my hand on my chest to slow my racing heart.

  “I understand. I also come out here to think sometimes,” he says, staring out at the ocean. He moves his head, looking around. “Where’s your boyfriend? He let you come out here by yourself at night?” There’s a little sarcasm in his tone. I can’t blame him.

  “He drank too much wine and passed out,” I reply. “How’s your eye?”

  He touches it lightly. “It’s not so bad. I’ve been hit harder before. I can take it.” He smiles. “Hey, do you want to take a walk?” he asks.

  I’m a little unsure because I don’t know him that well, but he seems to be a nice guy so I follow my intuition on this one.

  “Sure, sounds good.” I shrug and stand up to walk with him. We’re just going along the boardwalk, and there are a lot of people around so I’m safe. We walk quietly for a few seconds when he says, “Alexis, I know it’s none of my business, but the way your boyfriend dragged you away from the beach like that today sent off warning signals in my head.”

  “I feel really bad about Luc punching you, but he’s a good guy,” I insist, wondering if I’m lying.

  “Like I said, I don’t want to interfere with your life. It’s just that…” Nathan goes quiet, and his eyes are veiled with a sadness that I’m familiar with.

  “What is it?” I ask, feeling even more uncomfortable than I did before.

  “It’s just that you remind me of my sister,” he responds. I’m a little confused, but I give him some time to collect himself.

  “My sister, Ella, was ten years older than me. We grew up in the Hamptons, the children of a very wealthy business mogul. My parents had a cold marriage and everything was done to keep up appearances. Ella hated the lifestyle. When she was old enough, she left home and moved to New York City. She chose a local college instead of the Ivy League university that my parents wanted her to attend so they cut her off financially.” We walk along the boardwalk and many people pass us from both sides. Nathan’s hands are in his pockets, and his laidback posture is at odds with his sad story. “She didn’t care, though. She hated the country club life that we led. I was young when she left the house. I hated my house, and she was the only good thing there. She was funny, warm, and very smart. She was a blond-haired, blue eyed beauty like you.” At those words, I slightly bow my head, embarrassed by his compliment. “You’re timid like she was, too.” He smiles, and I say nothing.

  “She finished teachers’ college and began working in a local kindergarten. When I spoke with her, her voice was always cheerful. The only thing she missed about home was me, but I was only a young teenager.” His lips tug up at both corners at the mention of his sister’s happiness, and I feel a connection to him. Thinking of Ash makes me smile, too. “One day she told me that she’d met a guy, a construction worker, and that things were getting serious between them. I was happy for her. Over the next few months I noticed things started to change; the excitement in her voice had left. It was bothering me. I needed to know what was wrong so I forced my father’s driver to take me into the city so I could see her.

  “My father forbade me from using any of the family cars to go into the city. He said if I wanted to see her, I’d need to take public transportation and growing up the way I did, that was something foreign and dirty.” Nathan becomes visibly rigid and he runs his hands along his short hair. “Lucky our family driver had a soft spot for Ella and he took me into town on a secret mission.”

  “When we arrived at her apartment in Queens, I was in shock. It was a tall, old building that was completely run down. I had to use the steps to get up to the third floor where her apartment was. The building was grungy and dirty, and I couldn’t believe that my sister was living in that mess. But the exterior features of the building could never prepare me for what I saw when my sister opened her front door.” He takes a deep breath, and I can tell what he is going to say next is difficult for
him. We stop walking and he leans on a fence, staring out at the ocean. With his head lowered, he says, “She was beaten to a pulp. Every part of her was black and blue. Her eye was swollen shut, and her arms were bruised yellow. She was wearing a t-shirt and a skirt and even her legs were beaten and her fingernails had blood on them. I thought I was going to be sick to my stomach at the sight of her. The beautiful light that she carried in her eyes was gone, left with a dark sadness.” His difficult words make my chest ache. I can tell he’s fighting back the tears.

  I look at Nathan. He’s such a handsome guy, yet in front of me I see a sad, young boy and my heart constricts with pain. “My mother was an abusive alcoholic. She beat me for years so I know what it’s like.” Nathan is quietly assessing me. I’m not sure why I told him, but I feel comfortable with him. His eyebrows furrow together. His response is not the usual pity I get when I make that statement.

  “When did she start abusing you?” he asks.

  “When I was ten and my sister was eight,” I tell him.

  “Was it physical abuse?”

  “Yes, physical and verbal. Although I’m not sure which was worse.” I smile sadly.

  Nathan continues to look out into the ocean where the dark night meets the endless water. The uncomfortable silence persists and I don’t know what to say to end the awkward moment.

  He continues to speak. “I wanted to take Ella home with me. I begged and pleaded with her. The guy was bad, beating her and wearing her down slowly. I was a fourteen-year-old boy, and I didn’t know what to do,” he says with a choked tone. “I went home and told my parents that she was in bad shape. I thought they would get her out, save her. They only said that she made her bed and she would have to sleep in it.” He grits his teeth together, and I notice his fingers paling from the grip he has on the fence. “I really couldn’t believe that they were so cold.” He looks directly at me, and I nod. I understand him.

  “Two weeks later my parents got a phone call from the police saying that Ella had died. There was an investigation into her death and an autopsy was done. We were told that she was four months pregnant. Her death broke me to pieces.” He pauses, his eyes swelling with redness.