by Brynne Asher
Bella
I walk up the steps to Crew’s headquarters. The old house has become a sentimental place for me. So many memories have been made here—both life-changing and heartbreaking.
Walking through the front door solo is monumental. Crew stands at the head of the dining room table. Asa flanks his left and Grady his right. Jarvis is next to Grady and I’m surprised to see Ozzy. He’s been traveling the world on assignments for most of the last two months.
Everyone’s eyes are on me.
Only me.
Crew is positioned in his normal weird stance that I find maddening at times—both casual and alert. He notes, “Carson’s not here.”
I join them in the dining room and stand at the opposite side of the table as Crew. “No. I’m sorry. He’s made his decision.”
Again, with no emotion, Crew lifts his chin.
I go on to explain. “Since he’s not taking a position with you, he didn’t feel he belonged here.”
Crew barely narrows his eyes. “But you’re here.”
I pull in a breath. “Yes. I officially resigned from SIS. I’m a free agent.”
It’s small, but I don’t miss it when Crew smiles.
I go on. “And Cole wanted me to express his gratitude. I’m sure he’ll speak with you privately. He also wanted me to tell you that you now have a partner inside the CIA.”
“I’ve always had him inside the CIA,” Crew bounces back.
I shrug. “Yes, but now it will be like never before. Consider yourself upgraded to Platinum Status.”
Crew nods. “That’s good.”
“He feels he can be of more use there, on the inside. Whatever you’ll need, you’ll get, Crew.”
Grady glances at Crew. “That’ll be helpful.”
Crew nods. “It will. What does he want in return?”
I’d laugh but this meeting is too important. “Nothing. And since I’m here today and accepting your offer to work for your organization, and yours alone, I assume he simply wants you to keep me busy so I’ll stay put. He won’t admit that aloud but I know it’s how he feels.”
All male eyes dart around the room.
Wait. Did they not know Crew offered me a position among them?
I wipe the smile off my face.
Until Jarvis crosses his arms and grins, “Fuck, yeah. Welcome to the team, Spice Girl.”
Then, I’m surrounded by manly smirks.
Well, now. That’s better.
“I’ve been planning,” Crew announces. “When I started this venture, I never meant for it to grow into anything else. We do what we do best—it’s cut and dry and I liked it that way. But sometimes shit literally lands in front of you.” He looks to me and then to Ozzy. “I might be a killer but I’m also an entrepreneur. I don’t have to be smacked in the face with an opportunity to take advantage of it.”
I’ve spoken privately with Crew over the last two months many times about how I might fit into his organization. I want to work but I’m also ready to start living my life, eager to find the balance Cole insists is waiting on me.
But I’m not an assassin and have no desire to be one.
And given the positive results of the test I took last week, running around the world chasing after bad guys isn’t an option for me—at least for the next eight months.
There’s also our wedding next month. I’m finding it easy to say goodbye to my former life. There’s so much more to love about the one I’m living now.
Crew tosses a thick binder on the dining table in front of him.
Smack.
“It’s time to diversify. Welcome to the team, Bella.” Crew looks at me before settling his eyes on Ozzy. “This might get interesting, but I’m game.”
Ozzy shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Let’s do it.”
Epilogue
The next year
Cole
“Are you sure about this?”
I shift my weight from foot to foot and add a bounce every now and again. Sighing, I stuff my hands in my pockets and glance over at Grady. “What can I do? You’ve seen her. She’s been in the gym every day for three months. She loves this shit. When she tries to spar with me, I’m forced to end it with sex. Better that than sport a new set of bruises.”
“Why?” Ozzy bites. “Why can’t you keep your fucking mouth shut?”
“He has no idea what he’s in for.” Jarvis takes his place next to me and lifts his chin toward the newb on the mat.
“Never thought I’d see anyone with a bigger chip on their shoulder than you, Jarvis. But this guy gives the old you a run for your money,” Crew adds. “Only you could find this big of an asshole who fits the bill. He’s going to need some time.”
Jarvis crosses his arms and doesn’t take his eyes off the mat. “Remember when you humbled me on my first day?”
Crew lifts his chin. “It’s one of my fondest memories.”
Jarvis smirks. “He’s about to get humbled by a blond chick who just had a baby. At least I got humiliated by you. He’ll never live this down.”
A huge fart comes from my chest and every man in the vicinity nods, impressed. I look down at my son strapped in his carrier and beam. “Good job, buddy.”
Isaac Devon-brilliant-baby-Carson is six months old. He’s a brute of a kid, but he would be from all the badass breastmilk he guzzles. He’s a bigger, more masculine version of Abbott besides his eyes. His are so blue, they won’t ever change and will no doubt melt cheerleaders’ panties with a glance when he’s older. I’m damned determined my kids will remember where they came from. I don’t want them to wait until they’re thirty-five to figure their shit out. Life is short—too fucking short—and my only regret on days like today is Red won’t be able to meet his namesake. But if he were here, he’d bust my balls to give him more granddaughters.
We’ll work on that next year.
“What kind of shit is this?” The recruit points to my wife, who’s dressed in a pair of skin-tight leggings and a sports bra that teases me with the milky skin of her midriff. Her scar is still fading. “I am not fighting a chick.”
“I know it’s your first day, but don’t be scared,” Bella coos in a voice similar to the one she uses with Abbott. “If you need me to go easy on you, say the word.”
Grady barks a laugh.
Despite being the best of his class at the Naval Academy where Jarvis found him, the recruit is young and stupid in many other ways. “Who the fuck are you and what game is this?” He looks at Crew and then Jarvis. “Is this a test? You’re trying to get me to hit a woman so you can pummel my ass?”
“No trick, man,” Jarvis assures him. “Carson works here and you’ll answer to her as much as you will me. Pay attention, she’s good.”
“Would you like to start?” Bella asks.
“Fuck, no,” the recruit throws back.
“Baby, do your thing,” I call to her. “He’ll catch up.”
The recruit’s eyes zip to me at the word baby.
“This is your last chance,” Bella warns, shaking and flexing her fingers as she squares her shoulders.
He shakes his head and looks at his audience. We all nod, giving him the go ahead to try to kick my wife’s ass.
Try being the operative word.
He turns to Bella.
Bella smiles … so fucking beautiful. The glint in her eyes reminds me of the young woman I fell in love with years ago.
As instructed, he makes the first move.
Bella weaves.
He cuts.
Bella dodges.
They don’t make contact and the recruit is surprised—frustrated and surprised.
Jarvis raises his voice. “Are you even trying?”
The recruit frowns before moving again. This time he goes for it. A punch comes so close to my wife’s jaw, my insides tighten.
Then, she lets loose.
Kicks.
Strikes.
Jabs.
A leg sweep.
He gets her a couple times but she has no problem holding her own.
This goes on and the recruit realizes my wife is the real deal.
“Look at her go,” I mutter.
Asa winces. “You are one crazy fuck, Carson.”
“She’s amazing,” I add, not taking my eyes off her. “Makes me hard.”
Ozzy sighs.
Bella spins one more time and takes him to the mat, his six foot-plus frame landing with a heavy thud. She pops up like a ninja jack-in-the-box and for the first time shows any sign of exertion. Her breaths come quicker as she brushes the dust off her black workout clothes and steps back, fixing her long, blond hair.
She walks off the mat and comes straight to me. I lean down and kiss her. “You know that turns me on, sweetness.”
She smiles because she knows.
Now I can’t wait for naptime. I’m going to put her in the shower and show her just how much.
Unbuckling Isaac from his carrier, she pulls him away from me as bubbles and drool run down his smiling chin, happy to see his mum, who we’re both obsessed with.
“Mummy is done. Do you want to find Abbott and the cows? Moooo.”
The recruit is bleeding from the lip and sweating his ass off as he climbs slowly to his feet, cursing under his breath.
“Don’t worry,” I call to him. “You’ll get better. It’s why you’re here.”
With our son in her arms, my wife agrees but doesn’t look away from me. “Being here is a dream, isn’t it, love?”
I put my arm around her shoulders and turn her to the open barn doors to find Abbott. I want to get back to our Saturday. “Being anywhere with you is a dream, sweetness.”
Bella
I tag my tea and move through the house to the back door. The weather took a turn tonight and Mother Nature has given us her first taste of fall. But I don’t feel the nip in the air, I’m too emotional.
I settle myself into the thick cushions of the sofa in the sunroom, as I need to steal a second to myself.
I stare out at the sunset, past the shed, the garden, and to the thick foliage, now lit up in golds and reds. It’s beyond the golden hour, the time of the day Cole and I usually have to ourselves. Abbott is in bed and, if the baby gods are in line, Isaac is winding down. This is our time together and we’re rarely apart.
It’s why I’m not surprised when the door opens behind me. Cole was on Isaac duty because Abbott and I are lost in the world of child wizards—my funny accent coming in handy, she says.
“Did I piss you off?”
I choke out a huff and shake my head but don’t look back. He’ll know soon enough and I swipe at the damn tear that escapes.
“Hey.” He walks around the sofa and frowns when he sees my expression. “Fuck. What did I do?”
I clutch my cup to my chest and wipe my cheek one more time. “Maybe I should ask you what you feel guilty about since you think you’re the one who’s made me stupid and emotional.”
He hikes a thick brow. “I feel guilty for very little in life but when your face looks like this, I can’t take it. If I caused it, I can fix it faster than I can anything else.”
I smile through my bloodshot eyes. My fixer. And now I love him more than I did five minutes ago. I’m not sure my heart can take any more tonight.
“Move.” He grabs my cup and places it on the side table before shoving me over far enough to flop down next to me. “Who do I need to hunt down and kill?”
I sigh and lean into his shoulder. “You’re not a killer.”
“I’ve killed people.”
“Yes,” I agree. “But only so they don’t kill you first. Or me.”
“True.”
“I’m fine, Cole. I truly am. I’m not sure I remember the last time I was this happy.”
His hand slides into my hair, angling my face to his. “Then I’m doing something wrong. You were pretty damn happy this morning before the kids woke up.”
“I tucked Abbott in after we were done with our chapter, kissed her nose, and told her I loved her. Like I do every night.”
His sharp eyes soften the way they do when I speak of Abbott or Isaac.
I never expected Cole’s daughter to blindly accept me as her mum. I wanted her to trust me because I love her as much as I do her father, and, now, her brother. I’ve made an extra effort with her since Isaac was born. It’s been an honor to be in her life. But the child was abandoned by her birth mum. How does one heal from that kind of scar?
I hold his stare and tell him what has reduced me to a pile of mush. My voice is thick with emotion thinking of it and it only happened minutes ago. “Before I left, she said ‘goodnight, Mummy’.”
He sucks in a breath.
“I know,” I agree with his unspoken sentiment. “It’s huge. I’m so overcome, I can barely spit out the words.”
He pulls me into his chest, almost suffocating me, his arms bound tight. “I knew she’d come around. She loves you. Hell, she adores you. But she’s afraid. And I was afraid she’d always have mommy issues.” He loosens his hold and pushes me back enough to look me in the eyes. “Love you, baby. Thank you for making life perfect.”
“I don’t know about that, but I love you too.”
A smirk plays in the corner of his mouth. “I think it’s time.”
I settle into his chest farther. “Time for what, love?”
“Time to practice making babies again.”
I reach for my cup. “Have we ever stopped?”
“Practice makes perfect.” He grabs my cup and sets it back on the table before flipping me to my back, falling between my legs. “You’re the one who wanted extra bedrooms. It’s my job to make sure we fill them up.”
I wrap my leg around his arse I love so much. “The bigger the family, the better.”
“If I keep you pregnant, there’ll be no more sparring for you.”
I grin. “Today was fun, though. Like old times.”
His lips press to the skin below my ear. “Come to bed and I’ll spar with you. I’ll give it to you good. You won’t know what hit you.”
I lift my hips to meet his cock. “Shall we race to bed?”
“So competitive. When it comes to bedroom brawls, I always win—like I do in everything.”
I think back to his bet. “Your persistence has made me a happy woman.”
“I can’t help it. I’m the shit.”
I shake my head. “Take me to bed, Cole. I’m emotional. You can take advantage of me.”
“Mrs. Carson,” he presses his hard cock between my legs. “I will not let you down.”
No, he won’t. My American—he’s never let me down in anything. And I know he never will.
Stay tuned for A Killers Novel, Book 6
Read Crew and Addy’s story here: Vines – A Killers Novel, Book 1
Read Grady and Maya’s story here: Paths – A Killers Novel, Book 2
Read Asa and Keelie’s story here: Gifts – A Killers Novel, Book 3
Read Jarvis and Gracie’s story here: Veils – A Killers Novel, Book 4
Read Evan and Mary’s story here: Until the Tequila – A Killers Crossover Novella
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Brynne Asher’s Beauties
Other Books by Brynne Asher
The Carpino Series
Overflow – The Carpino Series, Book 1
Beautiful Life – The Carpino Series, Book 2
Athica Lane – The Carpino Series, Book 3
Until Avery – A Carpino Series Crossover Novella
Killers Series
Vines – A Killers Novel, Book 1
Paths – A Killers Novel, Book 2
Gifts – A Killers Novel, Book 3
Veils – A Killers Novel, Book 4
Scars – A Killers Novel, Book 5
Until the Tequila – A Killers Crossover Novella<
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The Montgomery Series
Bad Situation – The Montgomery Series, Book 1
Broken Halo – The Montgomery Series, Book 2
Standalones
Blackburn
Thoughts and Acknowledgements
Once upon a time, a character was born from nothing more than an author pondering, “I need a side character who will get very little screen time. Hey, let’s make it interesting. Make him a her, and let her kick some ass.”
Then the author fell completely and utterly in love and was forced at fictional gunpoint to create an entire backstory because that little character was screaming to have her story told.
Hello, Bella Donnelly.
Bella is also the most frustrating character the author has ever written. Neither English nor a badass, the author struggled. How does one create an alpha for Bella when she’s a badass who can ninja anyone she pleases?
Hello, Cole Carson.
Only the most arrogant, lovable asshole around. It took a hero as over the top as him to balance someone as strong as Bella. Throw in the intelligence community, a nasty politician, and a tribe of favorite killers, and you’ve got yourself one wild rollercoaster.
Hello, I am that author.
Every book is a journey … each one different from the rest. Scars challenged me in ways that left me frustrated while learning a great deal about how to push through writing struggles as well as environmental challenges (thank you very much, 2020).
I’m grateful to so many for the final product of this book. Michele, you’re the first one to believe in me, have remained my biggest cheerleader, and accept me as your best friend no matter how scary I look daily on Marco Polo. I love you.
Kristan with edit llc, as always, you prettied up my words like a rock star. Thank you for not only being the perfect editing partner but a precious friend.
Layla Frost and Sarah Curtis, not only do you put up with my high-maintenance non-problems, but you beta read this book like badasses. And, Layla, thank you for naming your baby after me. ;-)