by Zoey Marcel
She seemed pleased by this. “I’m glad I got to be the first of something for you.”
A chilly breeze rustled through the trees and blew her scent toward him. His eyes closed and he tightened his fists. Was there no end to this madness?
She seemed to notice his tenseness. “I really am sorry about earlier with the blood.”
“I could have killed you,” he murmured quietly, half to himself.
“But you didn’t.”
“Only because Dakarai stopped me.”
“You would have stopped anyway.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. You’re a sadist. I get that. You enjoy hurting me, but I know you would never kill me.”
“There were times I wanted to.”
“Am I that frustrating of a slave?” she teased.
“No. Yes, but that’s not what I meant.” He looked at her seriously. “You don’t know what you do to me or how difficult it is to be around you. I want you all the time and there are times when seeing you and breathing in the scent of your skin and blood isn’t enough. Sometimes I want to drain you completely of everything you have, but I couldn’t live with myself if I did.”
She appeared startled by his alarming honesty. “Is it because I’m part human?”
“Probably, but it’s more than that. I don’t know if the combination of human and demon blood is what does it for me or if it’s your own personal flavor in particular or some kind of pheromone from your succubus nature in it that triggers the cravings, but for whatever reason you do it for me.” Joaquin kept his gaze just ahead, looking over the nocturnal landscape rather than the tempting woman sitting near him. “Your blood is like a drug to me. Now that I’ve tried it I want more. I want to be filled with it until it gives me a high.”
“You could drink a little from me with someone else in the room watching,” Claire suggested.
He shook his head. “It’s too dangerous. I can’t put your life at risk like that.”
“Would you be sorry if you lost me?” she asked cautiously.
He shot an irritated glance her way, raising his voice slightly. It wasn’t a yell, but his vehemence still rang through in his exasperated tone. “Of course I would. Just because my heart doesn’t beat in my chest doesn’t mean I’m incapable of feeling.”
Her head lowered. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know you don’t have a high opinion of me and you respect me even less—”
“That’s not true.”
He rolled his eyes with a sigh. “You can’t even let me finish my sentence without saying what you want to.”
She dropped her eyes in shame.
“You may not think much of me and that’s fine, but don’t ever think I don’t think much of you, because it’s not true. Your blood isn’t the only thing I want. I want every part of you. You move me in ways no one else ever has. Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder about you—what you’re thinking and worrying whether or not you’re happy or in danger.” Joaquin kept his eyes on her while he spoke, noting the emotion that moved through her eyes. “Some nights I would stand in your room for a little while just to watch you sleep and listen to you breathe, wishing I could be lying there beside you. I’ve never wanted anyone like this before.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“Not even Ashley?” she queried with a hint of jealousy in her tone.
Joaquin smiled. “Ashley was merely a temporary sub. She allowed us to use her for demonstrations, but aside from getting her off a few times for an audience, I never touched her and neither did Dakarai.”
“I just assumed you slept with your subs.”
“We have in the past when it was a vampire or a demon but not a human sub. If I lost control with them, it would kill them. Ashley was human and it was more of a business arrangement than a relationship.”
“Is that what we have—a business relationship?” Claire asked sadly.
He stared deeply into her eyes. “You know it’s not. I can’t live a day or night without feeling you. When I kissed you I felt my heart beat. It was only for a moment, but I felt it. It’s never done that before for anyone except you. It hasn’t beat since, but for that brief, breathtaking moment it moved from your touch and I knew that you were different, special.”
“I didn’t know I made your heart beat,” she said in a breathy tone he couldn’t resist. “I thought you pulled away from me because you wanted my blood too much.”
“That too.” Only the sporadic cold breeze that blew filled the silence. “You care for me too, don’t you?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“If we’re going by how well you listen to me, then no. But based on your evident attraction to me and what you said to me in subspace, it hasn’t escaped my notice lately.”
“What did I say to you?”
“You told me you loved me.” Silence. “Did you mean it?”
She nodded, eyes lowered, seeming to wait for his rejection.
“Look at me.” He took her hand in his and kissed it tenderly when she met his gaze. “I love you too. More than I can say. That’s why we can’t ever be left alone together anymore. I need you to be safe.”
“But I love our time alone together. I would miss it so much if it just stopped.”
“So will I, but it’s the way it has to be. I don’t trust myself with you anymore.”
Claire looked like she might cry. “But I trust you and that’s what counts. I feel safe with you.”
“Earlier you didn’t. I can’t forget the look of horror on your face when Dakarai had to pry me off of you and you saw me for what I really am. That memory will haunt me forever.”
“I’m sorry. I was scared, but I’m not anymore. It won’t happen again. I’ll keep my blood to myself.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll still want you. I can smell it whenever I’m around you.”
“Then wear a clothespin over your nose.”
He smiled. “The show is in a little over two weeks. I need to train you for what we’re going to be doing that night, but I need your full cooperation no matter what. Otherwise you could get hurt very badly.”
“I promise.” Silence followed. “What happens after that? Will you still want me?”
He squeezed her hand at the same moment his eyes closed briefly before reopening to meet her pleading stare. “I will always want you, Claire, no matter what. But that doesn’t mean I’m right for you.”
Her lovely eyes grew misty. “What are you talking about? You’re perfect for me.”
“In bed maybe, but in day-to-day living there’s no future for us together. If you wanted to go somewhere during the day, I couldn’t take you and neither could Dakarai.”
“But you guys could wear cloaks and you have that car with the insanely tinted windows.”
“We’ve used those methods to shield us from the sun on occasion, but we try not to do it that often to prevent drawing attention to ourselves. This is a small town. People might start getting suspicious if we don’t seem normal.”
“Then I’ll go out with you at night. I already sleep through half the day and stay up all night because of this job. I’m a night owl anyway. I don’t mind.”
“Nex can go in the sunlight, I can’t. He may not have a soul right now, but once he claims you he’ll get one and be able to treat you right. I’m soulless and I always will be. I can’t give you the love you deserve. My affection for you is a possessive, selfish kind of love. Nex can show you a good time and engage in blood play with you without wanting to kill you. I can’t guarantee you that. You’re better off with him.”
Tears spilled from her eyes. “But I don’t want to leave you. Please let me stay. I need you.”
“I need you too, but more than that I need you to be safe and happy.”
She got up from the chair and sank to her knees in front of him. “But I am with you. All of you. I know you probably think I’m a selfish whore, but
why can’t things just stay the way they are between the four of us? We’re so good together.”
“Because in your fantasy I’m still in the picture, and as long as I am, someday you may not be.”
“You’re not a monster,” she wept.
“Yes, I am. I don’t have a conscience like you do to help me resist temptation or feel guilty for sin. I’ve killed people and felt no shame, nor will I ever. But I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you.”
“Then don’t. I need to be with you.” She grabbed his hand in both of hers as the tears streamed down her pretty face. “Please don’t send me away.”
“I’m sorry, Claire, but I don’t have a choice. Nex seems like a good lover and thinks the world of you. Once he has a soul, he’ll be a good man to you and give you everything you deserve.”
She sobbed aloud. “Why can’t I have you both?”
“Because a possessive tiger shifter isn’t likely to share his mate unless another could prove that she was his mate too. Vampires choose their own mates like humans. It’s not dictated by fate or scent. And even if Nex was willing to share permanently, I would still be a threat to you.”
“You’re not. You’re my Master and I need you. I don’t want another Dom. I just want you and Dakarai for my Doms and Nex’s dominant nature too. Please, I know I’m selfish, but I can’t help how I feel. I love you all with everything I have and I can’t lose any of you.” She lavished the top of his hand with kisses, whimpering like a happy puppy when he gently caressed her hand with his thumb. She brought his hand near her face and nuzzled it against her tear-drenched cheek lovingly.
Her quiet adoration touched him deeply. “I don’t have a problem with sharing you with them, Claire. My anger toward you earlier wasn’t because you slept with Nex. It was because you disobeyed my orders and broke your promise to let me control your sex life.”
“I’ll obey you. I’ll do whatever you want. You can beat me every night and take me however you want. I’ll cook for you, clean for you, come for you and bleed for you, just please let me stay.”
Joaquin sighed, throat aching with suffering. She wasn’t making this any easier on him. “You don’t know how damnably hard this is for me. I adore you so much I would do anything for you…even let you go.”
“No!” Claire cried hard and buried her face in his lap. “I won’t leave you. I won’t.”
“You will. You must. It’s not a matter of if I were to lose control and attack you. It’s only a matter of when. You’re blinded by your feelings. That’s why you’re not thinking clearly.”
“If you really loved me, you would let me stay and make up my own mind about you.”
“Your mind is clouded by affection and lust. Mine is too, most of the time, but I’m doing my best to decide what’s best for you. I hate this as much as you do, but it will save your life in the long run. If you hate me and want to leave in the morning, I’ll understand.”
“No! Damn you, I’m going to get my money’s worth these next two weeks and I’ll make you see how perfect we are for each other.” She moved her palm to cup his groin and he stifled a groan of joy.
“This thing we have is like an hourglass. I know right now it seems like we have forever, but it’s an illusion.” He grabbed her hand to stop her insistent strokes over the crotch of his karate pants. “Time is running out, and the longer I’m around you the more your life is at risk. I crave your blood like an addict needs cocaine, and there are times when I feel like I might do anything to get it. Someday the sand will run out and I’ll lose control with you, and when that happens it could cost you your life.”
Claire grabbed his leg as he stood and gazed up at him imploringly from where she sat on her knees. “Then I’ll die for you. I don’t care as long as I get to spend my life with you, however long or short that may be.”
Her words touched and concerned him. They spoke of sacrificial love…and suicide. “My mind is made up, Claire. This is the way it has to be. I’m truly sorry.”
Joaquin walked back inside, his eyes burning, but he couldn’t let her see. One of them had to be strong. It just really sucked that it had to be him.
* * * *
Dakarai came back inside from feeding on dreams from one of the sleeping townsfolk. He cut it pretty close this time. The sun would be coming up in a few minutes. He went into the private room Claire slept in to check on her, but she wasn’t there. Nex was fast asleep in the chair by her bed. Dakarai rolled his eyes. The tiger was supposed to watch over Claire tonight while she slept to be sure Rochelle didn’t harm her in her sleep.
When Dakarai headed upstairs he saw Claire already up there walking down the hallway in her white nightgown as if in a trance. The fact that he could read her meant she was either dreaming or sleepwalking. Obviously the latter, given that she was up and about while still out of it. Her mind seemed to be fairly cleared at the moment, as though she had no thoughts, but he sensed malicious intent, which wasn’t like her at all.
She carried something by her side. When she quietly pushed open the door to his and Joaquin’s room, he saw that the object was made of wood and greatly resembled a stake. His worst fears were realized. She was going to kill Joaquin.
Dakarai shouted to hopefully wake her up, but she had already crept into the room. He ran down the hall, yelling Joaquin’s name.
Nex quickly ran after him up the stairs in only his boxers, looking drowsy but alert. “What’s the matter?”
“Claire’s going to kill Joaquin!”
They burst into the room simultaneously to find Claire and Joaquin brawling. It only lasted a few seconds before the vamp knocked her to the floor and twisted the stake out of her grip.
Nex flipped on the light, though it really wasn’t necessary given how they could see just as well in the dark.
“Are you all right?” Dakarai asked, relieved his partner didn’t seem to be injured, only caught off guard by the attempt on his life.
“I’m fine except for the part where she just tried to stake me,” Joaquin snapped, eyes pinned to Claire’s.
She looked genuinely shocked by the allegation as well as bewildered by the whole scenario. “Joaquin? What am I doing here?”
He transferred her left wrist to his left hand, where her right wrist was already held hostage, and picked up the wooden stake to show her. “Does this answer your question?”
Her jaw dropped. “That’s not mine.”
“Well, it sure as hell isn’t mine. You tried to ram it into my chest.”
Her eyes moistened. “I tried to kill you?”
“Get her in the cage.” He jerked her to her feet and Dakarai held open the cage door as she was forced into the steel prison and the door was locked shut, trapping her inside. Joaquin turned to Nex. “You were supposed to be watching her!”
“I was, but I closed my eyes for a minute,” Nex replied.
Joaquin rolled his eyes. “Fantastic.”
“No! Please! Joaquin, I’m sorry!” Claire pleaded. “It wasn’t me! I swear! Joaquin!”
He left the room in a huff while she was still beseeching him. She broke down into tears and Dakarai knew that murder wasn’t in Claire. This had to be Rochelle’s doing. He knelt in front of the cage calmly, though inside he felt crazed and tumultuous as any storm over the fact that someone tried to kill his man.
He’d tried to be patient with her, whereas Joaquin had demanded answers from her, but now he knew they needed to get the truth out of her, even if they had to drag it from her kicking and screaming.
* * * *
Claire wailed uncontrollably into the blanket, cursing her existence. She couldn’t believe she had just tried to kill the man she loved. Well, it had been Rochelle’s doing, but Claire hadn’t even been awake. One minute she was in bed asleep and the next minute she opened her eyes and found herself in another room in the dark, wrestling with Joaquin. He’d knocked her to the floor and forced a stick from her hand—the stake. Where the hell had it come from? If R
ochelle had caused her to sleepwalk so as to use Claire’s body as a vessel for her assassination attempt, could she also have woken Claire up in the middle of the night a few times and had her carve a wooden stake to eventually make an attempt on Joaquin’s life with?
Claire shuddered, unable to believe the level of power Rochelle had gained over her body while she was comatose.
“Claire, look at me,” Dakarai said in a mellow but stern tone.
She ignored his command and sobbed loudly into the blanket, jumping when he slapped the top of her hand for disobedience.
“What do you remember?”
She couldn’t look at him for very long without crying her remorse. “I don’t know. One minute I was in bed and the next minute I woke up and was fighting Joaquin. I don’t even know what happened.”
“I saw you. You were sleepwalking.”
“He will never forgive me for this.” She buried her face in her hand, sniffling as the tears came rushing forth.
“Yes, he will.”
“I wouldn’t hurt him. You have to believe that I wouldn’t hurt him.”
“I know you wouldn’t, but I also know whatever or whoever has influenced you has gained a greater level of control over your sleeping body at night.” He lightly gripped the bars with his fingers and drew nearer the cage. “If you want him to forgive you, tell him about Rochelle.”
Claire cringed inside. What would they think of her if they knew? No one knew aside from her and Rochelle. How could they ever look at her the same again or feel an inkling of respect toward her? Still, she knew Dakarai was right. It was time to tell them the truth. It could very well save their lives, but how could they think well of her after she told them?
Joaquin stood in the doorway, arms folded as he stared her down with a hostile glare.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t want you to die. I never meant for any of this to happen.” His silence unnerved her. “I’m so very sorry for this. Please believe me. Damn it, say something.”
“You want me to say something?” He sneered as he stepped into the room completely and knelt in front of the cage. “Tell me what I want to know.”