by Lilly Atlas
All the hair on Lila’s body rose as Snake spoke. His eyes shone, as though the idea of gunning down the entire MC pleased him. Lila wanted to reach across the table and claw his eyes out of his head, but she remained motionless, frozen with fear for Striker and fear for her own life. The life that she had just taken control of and started to love.
“You listening to me, Lila?”
She started and looked at Shiv again. “Yes.”
“Good. I wanted to present another option to you.” His eyes grew hooded and his tone lowered. “As I said, I’m without an ol’ lady at the moment, and, well, you intrigue me.”
Lila’s skin crawled and her mouth dropped open in shock and horror.
“I’d like you to consider staying here regardless of tonight’s outcome. Though I’ll warn you now you’ll need to be a little more, shall we say, willing to accommodate.”
Lila jumped up. She couldn’t stay in his presence another second without becoming sick. “Please bring me back to that room now. I’ll just wait there until it’s time to leave.”
“You’ll consider my offer?”
Was he crazy? “Sure.”
He nodded. “Good.” He stood and called out. The door opened, and Mohawk escorted Lila back down to the room.
After he closed her in, she sank to the floor and covered her face with her hands. Hot tears burned behind her eyelids but she blinked them away before they could fall. How had her life spun so out of control as to get to this point?
She needed to make a plan. That’s what she did before she moved to Arizona and it helped her keep her sanity and sort out her feelings. And right now she needed to plan a way to end her relationship with Striker.
His life wasn’t what she wanted. Lila wanted to work at the hospital. She wanted to run her sports safety program and live a quiet life. She wanted to meet a sedate man with a nine to five job who would give her a few kids and grow old with her. A frown crossed her face. That all sounded so dull.
It wasn’t dull. It was safe. Smart. True, Striker had a lot of qualities she admired in a man. He was intelligent, loyal and worked his ass off for the club. He also supported her work and her project at the high school one hundred percent. Not to mention she was wildly attracted to him, but being with Striker was neither safe nor smart.
That’s exactly what she would tell him. She not only needed to feel safe, but she needed to make intelligent life choices. She couldn’t choose a path where people would whisper behind her back about the company she kept. She couldn’t choose a man who could end up in prison or dead. He’d understand. He had to realize all these things were true.
With a sigh, Lila closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall. She felt a fraction of a percent better at having come up with a plan to fix one part of this out of control situation.
She didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until she heard a chuckle from right above her. When she opened her eyes and looked up, Mohawk’s grin filled her vision. “Wakey, wakey, princess. It’s time to roll.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lila kept her eyes closed while Snake sped through the night toward their meeting location. When she was with Striker, riding at night was one of her favorite activities. Tonight the blackened sky felt anything but wondrous. It felt like a shroud, and she couldn’t bear to look at it.
The bike slowed, and then came to a complete stop, and Lila finally allowed her eyes to open.
“You stay on the bike until I tell you,” Snake ordered, swinging his leg off the motorcycle.
She pushed a button on her watch and glanced down at the glowing face. Eleven twenty. Snake had wanted to arrive before Striker and the No Prisoners. He’d said it would give him the upper hand.
Lila took a breath, and wiped her palms on her jeans. Her heart danced a nervous rhythm in her chest and she felt a bit dizzy. This exchange had the potential to turn into something deadly.
Still astride the bike, Lila checked out her surroundings. The night was so dark it was almost impossible to see more than five feet from her face. As she stared straight ahead she thought she saw something flash just a bit ahead of them. Was that—
In the next instant Lila’s hands flew up to cover her face as she was blinded by the high beams of a staggering number of motorcycles. Oh my God. The No Prisoners had arrived before Snake, and were lined up across the road. There had to be at least sixty bikes. Who were all these guys?
“Your shit is halfway between us, off to the right. It’s all there. As is the other package we agreed on.” In that moment, Striker’s commanding voice was the most comforting sound she’d ever heard.
Lila looked off to the right where headlights of a bike illuminated packages of drugs stacked neatly behind a bruised and bloodied man. She gasped at the sight of him, and her first instinct, as a healer, was to run to him. But she tamped down the impulse, and tried to locate where Striker’s voice was coming from. The lights were too bright and she couldn’t see a thing.
“Lila, baby, walk straight across to me. Once she’s here, Snake, you can take your shit and leave.”
Snake stood about fifteen feet ahead of her, his face a mask of fury. He had to feel humiliated by Striker’s show of force. Satisfaction flowed through her. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. Good. She hoped the bastard was embarrassed by how Striker beat him at his own game.
Lila scrambled off the bike and started toward the lights. She wanted to run, but was afraid to move too quickly. As she walked, she heard Snake yell after her. “Too bad, Lila. We coulda had fun.”
She shivered with revulsion at the thought.
“What did you do, Striker? Call in the National Guard?” Snake called across the gap.
When Lila drew close enough to see over the glare of the lights, she was shocked to discover how many men accompanied Striker. There were more bikes than she’d originally thought, and looked to be about a hundred men. Who were they?
“You should try being nicer to people, Snake. You might make some friends that way.”
Lila still couldn’t see Striker, but she searched the crowd noticing that each man wore a No Prisoners cut. The patches on the front indicated different locations, Vegas, Joshua Tree, Santa Fe.
After another two steps she swung her gaze up and down the line again and locked eyes with Striker. He stood right in front of her. A wave of relief hit her with the force of a semi when she saw him standing there looking fierce and protective. The flood of emotion was so strong that she stumbled and would have fallen if Striker hadn’t reached out and grabbed her.
He crushed her to him, and she wrapped her arms around his waist just as tight. “I’ve got you, Lila. You’re safe. Did he hurt you?” Striker whispered against her ear.
“No. Scared me a bit, but mostly they left me alone in a room. Who are all these people?”
He chuckled in her ear. “Family, baby. We put in a few calls to charters in nearby states. They rushed here right away. My bike is right behind us. Go sit, and we’ll be out of here soon.”
His family. The moment the word came of Striker’s mouth all the pieces fell into place for Lila. She released her hold on Striker, and moved toward his motorcycle. When she was seated, she looked at the men who’d come to support him. They stood together in a row, weapons trained on the ten Grimm Brothers who’d come with Snake, an impenetrable wall.
A family was exactly what they were. Not a conventional one, but one that instilled loyalty and respect. She had a conventional family. Two parents, a sister, and all the high society perks she could ever want. But they didn’t support each other, they weren’t loyal to each other, they probably didn’t even love each other.
This group of outlaws had her back more than her own blood ever had. They respected Striker, they loved him, and while Lila was with him that extended to her as well. No matter what happened, this family would take care of each other. They would be there for each other no questions asked. They’d ride hundreds of miles in one day to
rush to the aid of a brother and his woman.
A warm feeling of support and acceptance replaced much of the fear she’d felt throughout the day. Where before she’d been prepared to walk away, convinced there was nothing here for her, she now saw the opposite might be true. This could be everything for her.
She looked up, surprised to see Snake and his gang riding off into the night. Lost in her own musings, she’d missed the final words between Striker and Snake. It didn’t matter. For now, it was over, the score settled and she was free to resume her work and her life.
As she watched Striker approach the bike, and his brothers mount up and ride off she smiled at him. She wanted him in her life, him and this crazy family that came along with him. The good, and the bad.
It didn’t matter if people in town didn’t understand their relationship. Lila had spent over twenty years concerned about what others thought of her. It was time to give that up. What mattered was how she felt about Striker, and she was pretty sure she was in love with him. The rest was just details they could work out together.
“You ready to go home?”
She let out a weak chuckle and reached for his hand. “I was ready to go home yesterday morning.”
Striker didn’t laugh at her attempt at a joke. He didn’t smile or take her hand. The man who had held her like he couldn’t breathe without her just seconds ago was gone, replaced by a hardened version Lila didn’t recognize. What had happened in the five minutes she’d zoned out?
Without another word, Striker climbed on the bike and they drove off. Lila had the distinct impression something had shifted in him, something that affected his feelings for her.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
As he drove them back to his house, Striker steeled himself for what he was about to do. When he first saw Lila tonight, walking across the distance from Snake’s crew to his, her head held high, he realized he loved her. But keeping Lila alive, and in one piece, was infinitely more important than either of their feelings.
Once he was home, Striker climbed off the bike and waited for Lila to do the same. When her helmet was off, he followed her into the house. She stood ramrod straight and stiff, no doubt a result of his cold treatment.
“I need to go to the clubhouse to talk to Shiv. He stayed behind, and I need to fill him in, in person. Plus we have a lot of brothers staying in town and I need to help get them settled.” His words were clipped, emotionless.
She nodded, but remained silent.
“Jester and Hook are on their way to stay with you. Don’t know when I’ll be back, but they won’t leave you alone.” He walked to the kitchen without another word.
Striker reached out to open a cabinet and noticed a slight tremor in his hands. His body was reacting to the unfamiliar emotions that filled his head and his heart. It wasn’t acceptable. He needed to get himself under control.
With a grunt of frustration, he snagged an open bottle of Jack Daniels, sunk into a chair at the table, and took a long drink. Lila stood in the doorway and came into view as he lowered the bottle. Her arms were folded across her chest and a frown of disapproval was clear on her face.
“You gonna polish that off before riding back to the club?” she asked, worry deepening in her voice.
“Doesn’t concern you.” He was being a complete asshole, but he didn’t know how else to put some distance between them. He should have guessed Lila would see through his bullshit though.
“Striker, what are you doing?” Lila moved to the table and sat beside him, resting her forearms on the flat surface.
He decided there was no point in dragging this out. “Lila this isn’t going to work. You can’t make it in my world. We might as well not kid ourselves.” He took another hit of the Jack. This time when he placed the bottle back on the table she snatched it up. After a long drink of her own, she moved to the sink and upended the bottle. The contents flowed out and into the sink with a splash. “What the fuck are you doing?” he roared as he jumped to his feet.
“Don’t you think we cheated death enough for one day? I watched you get assaulted and thought you were going to be shot in front of my face. Now I’m supposed to sit here, and worry that you’ll be splattered all over the highway?” She sounded near tears.
He was such a piece of shit. If he thought he didn’t deserve her before, he sure as hell didn’t after the way he was treating her now. She’d been held by Snake for over twelve hours. She kept her cool the entire time, no matter what she must have been feeling inside.
Now, her concern was for him, not the fact that she’d been touched and taken by a sadistic monster. And how did he thank her? Not by holding her and loving her as she deserved, but by shoving her away with both hands.
“Lila, I saw you. Saw how you looked at me when I said we’d hand over the thief. You were disgusted with the fact that I could turn someone, a brother, over to Snake. Well, baby, that’s who I am. That’s what I do.” No longer having a bottle to busy his hands, he stood and paced the kitchen. “You can’t handle that. You can’t handle me. There’s no point in pretending otherwise.”
This wasn’t what he wanted, and the heart he rarely allowed to feel cracked a bit more as each word left his mouth.
“That’s what you do, huh? An everyday occurrence? Your brothers usually fuck you over, fuck your club over, and you’re just there to take them all out? Because it looked to me like ninety-nine percent of them love you and would lay down their lives to support you.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and continued to prowl around the kitchen.
Lila stepped in his path, and placed her hands on his chest to halt his motion. Her touch grounded him. It was the only thing that kept him from flying apart with the rage and fear tearing at him. Another man had touched his woman, in front of him, had rode off with her on the back of his bike, and he’d been powerless to do anything but watch. Fuck no, he didn’t deserve her.
“Seems to me you’re disgusted by the whole thing as well. It’s a horrifying situation, Striker. How was I supposed to react? Doesn’t mean I don’t get it, don’t understand what you had to do. You have an obligation to protect your club, your brothers.”
He looked at her incredulously. Was she for real?
“Whoever it was, he damn well knew the risk, right? No way he thought he’d get out alive if he got caught. I’m not even in the MC and I know your code. You don’t betray the club. I know that, and while yes, it’s upsetting, I can accept it. You seem to be the one having trouble with that.”
Why couldn’t she be like other women he knew? Why couldn’t she scream at him for getting her kidnapped by his enemies? Why couldn’t she throw something at him, and tell him what a scumbag she thought he was? Of course she had to be rational and accepting of him, making it that much harder to walk away. Suddenly the impact of the whole day crashed down on him. Betrayed by family, ambushed by his enemies, it tipped him over the edge.
“God damnit Lila,” Striker yelled. “He had his fucking hands on you. Do you understand that? He took you right from me. I was helpless to stop him. Can you imagine what he would have done if we hadn’t figured out it was Rock?”
Her eyes widened and filled, but she held back her tears. He felt a warring sense of shame and satisfaction knowing he got to her. “I understand exactly what would have happened, Striker. As you said, I’m the one he took.”
“So why the hell don’t you hate me? Why aren’t you kicking me in the nuts and damning me to hell? This is me, Lila. I’m an outlaw, I’m a killer. My loyalty is to my MC family, and I will destroy anyone who gets in their way. You do not belong here, and you’re crazy if you think you can deal with it, can deal with all the shit in me.” He got right up in her face as he ranted. Now that the beast was unleashed, he couldn’t seem to reign it back in.
Lila lost the battle to remain stoic, her heart cracked with every word he said, and a lone tear slid down her cheek. She swiped it away as she tried t
o come up with something to say to get through to him. The rational side of her knew he felt responsible, knew he was worried for her, and knew it had killed a little part of him having to turn a brother over to the Grimms, even if he’d been betrayed in the worst way, but the emotional side of her that was in love with him was starting to win out.
She turned and walked into the living room, needing a second to collect herself, but Striker followed.
He advanced on her as he raged, and she backed up until she hit the wall, pinned on the receiving end of his tirade. “I can handle you Striker. I’m not afraid of you, of what’s inside you.”
With a snarl, he grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head on the wall. His face was so close she saw the different shades of blue in his eyes. They were filled with guilt and anguish.
“You really think you can handle me like this? You still feel the same way about me knowing I sentenced a brother to death? When I come home with this darkness, and need to fuck it out of my system, you gonna handle that? What about right now? You gonna let me fuck you like this right now?”
“Yes, Striker. I’m here. Take what you need from me. It doesn’t scare me. You don’t scare me. I’m strong enough to be what you need, what we both need.”
He stared at her for a beat before he crashed his mouth down to hers. The kiss wasn’t gentle, but she didn’t need or want gentle right now. She wanted to feel alive and vital. Just as her need for air became too strong to deny, Striker pulled his mouth away. “I’m so sorry baby, you don’t deserve this from me.”
All the fight seemed to have gone out of him and what was left was raw emotion. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Lila pulled him into another kiss before he could say anything. He wasn’t listening to her words, maybe she could show him with her body how she accepted him, loved him, and needed him. How she would be there to fight the demons with him, and in the times when he couldn’t fight them himself, she’d fight them for him.