“We don’t have a fucking choice,” I spat out, increasingly agitated with her incessant mothering. “This place isn’t exactly a pillar of women’s rights!”
“Who are you?” she shouted, her face suddenly far too close to mine. “What is with this split personality disorder? One minute you’re cowering, the next you’re killing infected, the next you’re crying, and then you’re willing to dance for men? I don’t know you, Leisel. I don’t know this person and I don’t understand it!”
“I’m doing what I have to!” I screamed. Without thinking, I slapped my hands against her chest and shoved her backward. “I’m trying to adjust! I’m trying, Eve, I’m trying!”
“I don’t want you to adjust!” she cried, and shoved me back. I caught myself before I could fall, and when I raised my head to glare at Evelyn, I found tears forming in her big blue eyes. “You were fine the way you were!” she continued shrilly. “You were caring and sweet, the only truly good person left in this world!”
“I wasn’t fine!” I yelled, the sight of her tears causing my own to fall. “I was weak, I was weak and stupid, and because of that I ended up married to a man like Lawrence! He knew it, he could see it in me, see that I was a doormat he could walk all over. I don’t want to be a doormat anymore, Eve, I want to be strong! I want to be strong like you are.”
People were beginning to stop and stare, openly gawking at Evelyn and me as they passed us in the hallway. The building we were in was a smaller one, full of what looked to have once been managerial offices. Now they were separate places of business. Evelyn and I were currently standing outside a door laughably marked Branding.
“I used to wish you were stronger,” Evelyn whispered raggedly, drawing closer to me. “And then…now…it’s like I don’t know who I am if I don’t have to worry about you. What is my purpose here, Lei, if I have no one to take care of?”
Despite her tears and her now quiet tone, her eyes were wild, frenzied even. I’d thought her mood swings had calmed some, but it seemed as if the past week might have been the calm before the storm, a storm that was only just beginning to brew.
“Oh, Eve,” I whispered, reaching for her. As I took her into my arms, hugging her fiercely, two men passed by, slowing down at the sight of us. Both of them wore sickly smiles; one of them winked and the other waggled his eyebrows. Disgusted, I buried my face into Evelyn’s shoulder.
How easily the world had reverted to what it once was, where men lorded over women and treated them as if they were little more than cattle. In a way, the new world was much like the old West, full of gun-toting cowboys, danger at every turn, and where a woman was only safe if she was spoken for. If not, she was fair game.
I should be grateful Evelyn and I had Alex, and I was, yet I couldn’t help the anger that followed in its wake. Anger, because I shouldn’t have to feel this way, and because of how far we’d come as a nation, only to lose it all in only four short years.
“We’re safe now,” I said soothingly. “We have electric fences and an entire army keeping the infected out. We have Alex protecting us. You don’t have to be strong at the moment, Eve, you can take a breath. You can take a hundred breaths.”
My words were kind, and as genuinely spoken as I could muster given our current circumstances. I hoped that Evelyn was too upset to hear the doubt I felt, that she wouldn’t pick up on the little white lies laced between the truths. Because we weren’t safe, not really. Safety was now a thing of the past, a wish on a star, the kind of dream you never wanted to wake from. In this waking nightmare of ours, anything could happen. Alex could die, leaving us alone, two women ripe for the plucking once more. Or the infected could come, too many for these gates to hold at bay, and then this somewhat safe haven would fall, leaving us as food for the infected, or again lost to the big, wide open.
“You’re right.” Evelyn pulled out of our hug, sniffing and wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I’m being ridiculous. It’s probably that time of the month.” She attempted a smile and I attempted one back, but our facades quickly evaporated once the door beside us opened, revealing a very pissed off Alex.
He held up his wrist, revealing his branding. Two identical As in bold lettering had been inked into his skin with two circles surrounding them.
“A-A?” I asked.
“Alexander Adams,” he answered through his teeth, his gaze hard as he stared at me. “My name.”
“One more A and you could start a travel club,” Evelyn joked without humor, but neither Alex nor I even attempted a smile. There was nothing funny about any of this.
“Who’s next?” Alex asked.
I looked at Evelyn, who shrugged in return. “I’ll go,” she said. “You guys need to talk.”
As she disappeared inside the room, pulling the door shut behind her, I suddenly couldn’t bring myself to look at Alex. He was glaring at me, no, his eyes were wishing a thousand daggers to pierce my heart. And even though I knew I didn’t owe him an explanation for my decision, his behavior was making me feel as if I did.
“It could be worse,” I quietly told the floor. “I could be stripping, or…” I finally looked up at him and raised my arms in a helpless gesture. “I can’t fight, Alex! What did you want me to do?”
He didn’t respond, just continued to stare, those dark eyes of his burning angry holes straight through me.
“Alex,” I whispered, my tone taking on a hint of desperation. “Say something!”
He didn’t, of course he didn’t, but my words seemed to trigger something in him. His shoulders sagged, and his scowl faded. Shaking his head, he leaned against the wall behind him and folded his arms over his chest.
I sighed and reached for him, attempting to pry his arms away from his body. It took several pulls, me getting nowhere against his strength until he finally chose to relent. Dropping his arms, he allowed me to wrap mine around his waist and press myself against him.
Several moments passed, his stubbornness knowing no bounds, me gripping him tightly and him refusing to reciprocate. But I wasn’t going to give up, wasn’t going to allow something so meaningless to drive our small group apart. I kissed his chest, dug my fingertips into his lower back, and kissed him again and again through his dirty T-shirt until finally he sighed. Reluctantly, he lifted his arms and brought them around me.
Another moment passed, and then he lifted me up off my feet and into his arms, holding me so tightly I could barely catch a breath.
• • •
As I followed behind our newest guide, a prostitute named Bethany who couldn’t have been more than twenty and was noticeably naked under her nearly sheer robe, I took in what was one of the many living quarters in Purgatory. This particular building was five stories high, resembling a college dorm with door after door after door, and very few windows. But this was far from a dorm, the walls decorated with an odd mix of spray-paint art and framed art, the paintings all easily recognizable as past works from historically famed painters.
And there were padlocks on nearly every single door.
“Doorknob locks didn’t cut it,” Bethany offered when she caught me staring. “Too many break-ins.”
I gaped, wondering what anyone still had these days that would be worth stealing, and why people would be willing to take such a high risk. Maybe I was just being naive about it all, but Purgatory’s rules were laid out to us by Liv, and they were strict and harsh. The first time you stole, you lost a hand. The second time you stole, you were put in a cage, infected, and left to turn. You took another man’s woman, you lost another vital body part and got strung up in a cage, infected, and left to turn.
Each incident had the same outcome. You became an infected and were left in a cage to rot. I hadn’t yet seen any cages or infected, but it was a horrific and painful death to contemplate, and a terrible reminder to everyone not to steal or cause trouble, yet apparently not a complete deterrent.
“When you’re home,” she continued, “you keep your door locked from the
inside, and when you leave, make sure you lock it from the outside.”
We followed her in silence, the three of us simply taking in our surroundings. We passed a pair of young children playing alone in the hallway with a set of colorful blocks. I offered them a smile that they both returned with apprehensive looks, which only made my mood darker.
“Since you’ve got two claims, Liv wanted you all in the family building.” Bethany shrugged, dramatically flipping her long black hair over her shoulder. Slowing her pace, she turned to look over her shoulder, giving Alex a long, appraising look. “If you’re looking for another girl, I’d be more than happy to give you a freebie, give you a taste of heaven, honey.”
She stopped walking altogether, forcing the rest of us to stop as well. Placing her palm against Alex’s chest, she ran her red-tipped fingers across his T-shirt. Her tongue darted out, sliding slowly over her full bottom lip. “That’s what they call my pussy ’round here,” she whispered as she slid her hand down his stomach.
Shocked, I watched with more than a little anger-fueled jealousy as she boldly took a handful of Alex’s crotch. “Heaven,” she purred throatily, her fingers flexing.
My breathing grew shallow, seconds seeming like hours as my heart pounded an unsteady rhythm inside my chest. Why didn’t he slap her away, or better yet, take her by her slutty throat and squeeze the life from her? Resentment flared inside me, and I struggled to contain my annoyance at both her and him.
Alex’s hand covered hers and peeled her hand off him before he pushed her away and took a step back. “Maybe another time,” he said stonily, thankfully looking as disgusted as I was feeling.
Bethany’s instant disappointment was palpable. Miffed, she gave both Evelyn and me a scathing glance, speaking volumes as to how she felt. Who were we? What was so special about us that a man like Alex would claim us and not her?
I found myself feeling sorry for her, my anger doused nearly as soon as it had flamed. Instead, I was saddened by her circumstances, and though this woman wouldn’t want my pity, I felt it for her regardless. Take Alex out of this equation, and Evelyn and I could both be in her shoes, desperate for any sense of security and ready to do anything it took to obtain it.
“Whatever,” she muttered, then turned away, leaving us all with an up close and personal view of her backside. “We’re here anyway.” She flipped her hand carelessly toward a door on the right. Like the others, it was also fitted with a large and formidable-looking padlock. A key appeared in her hand—Where had she been hiding that?—and then, without turning to look at him, offered it to Alex.
“I’ll be back for you tonight,” she said flippantly in my direction. “Make sure you shower before work. The bathhouse is on the first floor.”
With another flip of her hair over her shoulder, Bethany pushed between Evelyn and me, her shoulder purposefully colliding with Evelyn’s. And then she was off, down the hallway and eventually out of sight.
While Alex fumbled with the padlock, Evelyn and I exchanged uneasy glances.
I’m worried about you, her eyes told me.
I was worried about me too, but instead of conveying that, I glanced away, my gaze landing on the two children still playing in the hallway. There wasn’t much I was grateful for in this new world, only Evelyn and now Alex, yet I found myself suddenly grateful that I’d never been able to conceive a child. Not with Thomas and not with Lawrence.
This world wasn’t for children, it wasn’t conducive to growing and learning, and it definitely didn’t perpetuate morals. These two children would know nothing but violence and death, and I counted myself grateful that I would never be laden with the guilt of bringing life into an already dead world.
“Home sweet home,” Alex muttered as he pushed open the door. A moldy smell wafted out into the hall, intermixed with cleaning solution. One by one we entered, taking in our new residence. It was a small room, no bigger than a bedroom. Off to the right, a stained mattress had been dropped haphazardly onto the floor, and to the left was a battered old armchair, threadbare and missing half an arm. A shoddy countertop lined the wall beneath a row of windows, all of them cracked and covered in duct tape.
But the walls were another story. Hanging over the poor paint job, a sickly green color, were several familiar art prints. The Mona Lisa, Starry Night, and The Scream all hung side by side, an odd sort of mix.
I stared at The Scream, thinking how fitting it was. The thought also occurred to me that, much like children, art seemed to have little place in this world.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Evelyn
“What now?” Leisel was perched on the edge of the broken armchair, looking from Alex to me and back again. Her eyes pleaded with me to give her something of substance to latch onto inside this strange place, but all I could do was shrug.
We’d only been in this place for a couple of hours, and already I was edgy and ill at ease with everything. It would be nightfall soon, and the thought of being somewhere behind walls, fences, barriers…whatever you wanted to call them, made me uncomfortable. I was supposed to feel safe now, yet I felt anything but.
Alex had been silent for hours now, ever since Leisel had insisted that she was going to dance. Clearly, he hated the idea, loathed it, and I could almost taste his anger at the idea of other men looking at her. Refusing to even take a seat, he’d been standing in front of a window, looking out through the broken glass at the world below since we entered our room.
Jerking my head in Alex’s direction, I gave Leisel a pointed look, silently conveying to her to get her ass up and go to him. Mouthing the word no, she shook her head, and in return I glared at her, again jerking my head. Reluctantly, she finally stood and walked slowly across the room before reaching him. Tentatively, she reached out, gently placing her hand on his back, only to have him flinch away from her. Closing her eyes, Leisel took a deep, shuddering breath, before opening them and trying again. This time, Alex remained still, allowing her to touch him, and eventually she began gently rubbing his back and he began to visibly relax.
Biting down on her lower lip, she looked at me with an expression on her face that clearly said, What do I do now? Smiling softly, I simply shook my head and turned to leave. There was only one thing I knew to do to win a man over. Use your body.
“Where are you going?” Alex said sharply, making me jump from the sudden sound.
I froze in place, my hand barely touching the doorknob. Glancing over my shoulder, I found him glaring at me, his deep-rooted scowl still in place.
“It’s dangerous out there,” he growled, his frown and fury all melding into one menacing expression.
“You don’t actually have a claim on me,” I told him, my tone matter-of-fact. “So if it’s all right with you, I’m going to check this place out. Besides, I need to find us some food.” Glancing down at myself, I wrinkled my nose. “Maybe even some clothes that fit. And I definitely need a bath, and I don’t need a chaperone, not with your initials forever branded into my skin.” My last words were said with the intonation of bitterness I was feeling. Lifting my arm, I flashed Alex his initials that were now forever marked on my wrist.
Alex’s eyes darkened with something close to guilt, and I could tell he felt bad about the branding. I wasn’t upset with him because it wasn’t his fault, but I remained silent, letting him steep in his guilt.
“Fine,” he eventually spat, snarling. Then he looked at Leisel, and his scowl deepened.
“You should go too,” he told her, his tone harsher than I’d ever heard it before. “You need to wash up for tonight, right?” He laughed once, a sharp, humorless bark, then turned away from her, his eyes once again trained on the ground below.
Rolling my eyes, I sighed loudly. Alex’s moods were giving me whiplash. Which was probably fitting, considering how annoying it must have been for him to have dealt with Leisel and me, and our constant ups and down during the last few weeks.
Still, Leisel looked as if she might cry;
her chin was trembling, and her hands beginning to shake. I was about to say something snarky in return, something to lighten the mood, until I noticed the fire in her eyes. It was a small one, but it was there, hidden amongst all her tears and fears. That fire created a warm sensation deep down in my belly, causing me to smile with pride.
“What about your claim on us—on me?” she said, her tone surprisingly snarky. “Are you sure you want me wandering around without you and your leash?”
She was trying for angry, but she’d never pulled off angry very well, coming across instead as a stubborn, headstrong child. Alex turned, staring down at her, his eyes softening the longer he watched her attempt to keep up this silly angry charade. Eventually her features gentled, and then she gazed up at him in that beseeching way I remembered from before. When she’d want something new for the house, something expensive that Thomas believed was frivolous or too extravagant. He’d always caved. Always. And Alex was no different. Only a moment passed before Alex’s shoulders slumped in defeat.
She reached for him again, and this time he didn’t flinch away from her. This time he wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her against his chest. Her face lifted and his lowered, and they gazed into each other’s eyes in a way that suddenly made me feel as if I was a Peeping Tom, intruding on a private, intimate moment.
Smirking to myself, I started to leave the room when Alex’s sudden shout of protest sounded behind me.
“Eve! Stop! If you’re dead set on going, then let’s all go take a look around.”
I turned back to look at him, a little stunned that he was relenting so easily. Though, I knew firsthand the effect Leisel had on those who loved her.
“Until we all know what type of people they are,” he continued. “I think we need to stick together.” He frowned at me, and I frowned right back.
“You mean you want me to stick with you,” I said pointedly.
Thicker than Blood Page 20