He finally came to a stop at the far end of the complex, outside a small but colorful awning with heavy flaps hanging down on all sides, hiding whatever was within. Alex gripped a tent flap, about to pull it open when a man appeared beside us. I recognized him instantly, remembered he was one of several bartenders from the club last night.
“What’s up, man?” He offered Alex his hand, and Alex dropped mine in order to shake it.
They were roughly the same size, Alex being just a tad taller with a good half inch more muscle mass. They even appeared to be around the same age, both in their early twenties, but whereas Alex was tanned, his hair and features dark, this man was dirty blond, his skin as pale as mine.
“She’s yours, yeah?” the man asked, jerking his chin in my direction.
Alex dropped the man’s hand. “Yeah,” he said gruffly, his carefree demeanor dissipating.
“Heard you got two of ’em,” the man continued. “And if the other one can dance half as good as this one, I was thinking you might be interested in having ’em do a private show for some of the guys. Figured you wouldn’t be opposed to some girl-on-girl action. Ain’t no one going to be touching either of them, not with your mark on ’em.”
My smile fell away, disgust causing the warmth inside me to quickly cool. The bitter realization hit me that no matter how much happiness I could eke out for myself, nothing could ever truly block out the sad state of the world around me.
“Fuck off,” Alex said, his tone low, yet deadly. “Fuck off right now, asshole.”
Neither Alex’s anger nor his warning seemed to faze this man. In fact, he smiled and shook his head.
“You’re a greedy son of a bitch, aren’t you?” He shrugged. “No offense meant, man. I’m just a guy looking to fill some time. Ain’t got nothing but time to fill these days.”
“Fill it with somebody else,” I snapped, drawing the attention of both men to me. I glared at the blond man, hoping the disgust I felt was being properly conveyed. “I’m not a plaything,” I continued, still seething. “I’m a woman, a person! Didn’t you have a family? A mother? A sister? A girlfriend? How would you feel if they were being passed around like…like…like cans of creamed corn?”
The man’s mouth opened and closed, as if he were trying to decide on what to say next, yet couldn’t quite find the words. “Like I said,” he eventually replied, his eyes dancing with amusement. “No offense meant. I wouldn’t share you either.” His gaze flickered between Alex and me one last time, and then he headed off in the direction we’d come.
“Creamed corn?” Alex asked, raising his brow.
I shrugged. “I was thinking of Eve, holding on to that stupid can. I don’t know, it just popped into my head.”
Still thinking of Evelyn, of the last thing I’d said to her before she’d left the room, I squeezed my eyes closed. It was a horrible lie born from anger, and I was intensely frustrated with myself.
“I need to find her,” I said, opening my eyes. “I need to apologize.”
Alex nodded. “We will. She’s fighting today. We can head over to the arena soon. But first, I have a present for you.”
After taking my hand, he pulled open the tent flap, revealing what seemed to be a small clothing shop. Hangers fitted with dresses and skirts ran across a rope that had been fitted to encircle the entire space. Neatly folded stacks of shirts and pants were piled on miscellaneous end tables and chairs, while pairs of shoes in all colors and sizes were tucked away in every corner.
“Ah! Alex, my boy!” a woman cried out, poking her head out from behind a small, squat dresser. She jumped to her feet and clapped her hands together. “I cleaned them just like you wanted!”
Smirking, Alex pulled me forward. “Lei, this is—”
“Grannie!” the woman practically shouted.
As she stepped out from behind the dresser, I took in her long and colorful shift, which was obviously handmade. It looked like a patchwork quilt turned into a dress, complete with randomly placed buttons and glittering sequins. And an equally colorful scarf had been wrapped haphazardly around her neck amid nearly a dozen necklaces.
She was an older woman, plump but not fat, and if I had to guess I would have figured her to be in her sixties. Her long gray hair was piled neatly on top of her head in a tight bun, showcasing the numerous dangling earrings she was wearing.
Extending an arm in my direction, she wiggled her hand, causing the array of bracelets she wore to shake and jingle. Smiling, I took her hand in mine.
“Everyone calls me Grannie!” she continued excitedly, pumping my arm up and down. “And I have something special just for you!”
Releasing me, she hurried back to the dresser and disappeared behind it. I glanced up at Alex, wondering what on earth he’d done, but he refused to look at me.
“Ta-da!” Grannie sang as she leaped out from behind the dresser, holding in her hands a pair of pink fuzzy slipper boots.
My mouth fell open. Despite Grannie having said she’d cleaned them, they were still dirty and stained, the pink faded to a peachy sort of color. There were obvious holes that I could see, and small patches where the fur was missing entirely. And they were absolutely perfect.
“Oh my God,” I breathed, bringing my hand to my mouth. “Oh my God.”
“Happy birthday…?” Alex said. “Or Merry Christmas? Whatever,” he finished almost shyly.
I glanced from him to Grannie and back to him. “But we didn’t bring anything to trade.”
“Now, now,” Grannie said, thrusting the boots into my hands. “That’s all taken care of. You see, I’m a betting woman and I’ll be betting on Alex tonight. He’s promised me a win, and in return, I’ve given him a five-finger discount on anything in the shop.”
“You heard her,” Alex said, still not looking at me. “Go pick some stuff out. For you and Eve.”
I gaped at him, shaking my head. “When did you do all this?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Met Grannie outside the Drunk Tank, got to talking…”
“Come, come!” Grannie urged excitedly. “Let me show you what I’ve got for a pretty girl like you.”
Still smirking, Alex rolled his eyes. “I’ll be outside,” he said, and moved to turn. I grabbed his arm before he could leave, pulling him back to me. Juggling the slipper boots in one arm, I attempted to hug him with the other.
“Thank you,” I whispered, feeling overcome. “I don’t know what to say, or what to do.”
Running his hand through my hair, he tugged gently, lifting my face. “You can thank me later,” he said quietly. “Tonight. After I win that fight.” Then he grinned.
“That’s four,” I said, grinning back. Or was it three?
“Four what?” he asked, and I shrugged.
“Never mind.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Evelyn
“So you want to trade, do you, Wildcat?” he asked, his tone languid yet laced with amusement. Leaning back against a brick wall, the man crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes dropped from my face to the can I held, then back up to my face again.
We both knew we weren’t talking about food. This was so much more than a simple trade; this was me doing what I’d always done to wash away the pain, the stress, the never-ending disappointments. Using my body, letting others use it as well, to fill the hole, to ease the ache. It was all I’d known for so long now, and I found myself easily slipping back into that role, like an old friend I hadn’t seen in some time.
Hey there, how’ve you been? It’s been too long, I’ve missed you. Let’s lose a little more dignity, shall we?
People, like Leisel, thought of me as strong. Brave. Fearless, even. But the truth was that I was just as weak and as fucked up as she was. Maybe even more so.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
He smiled slowly, his dark gaze running over me with lustful appreciation, blatant and suffocating.
“Does it matter?” he asked. “How about you call
me whatever you want, Wildcat.”
Although he was still standing there, his muscular arms folded over his large chest as he smirked at me, his answer almost seemed defensive. Which was ridiculous, that this big hunk of man would feel the need to hide any part of himself from a silly little woman like me.
I rolled my eyes, feigning confidence. “How about I call you whatever your mama named you?”
“All right.” He laughed, a deep, throaty bark that sent chills up and down my arms. “They call me E around here.”
I frowned. “They?”
He nodded, still smirking. “They,” he confirmed, without further elaboration as to who the elusive they was.
“They call you E?” I asked, forcing myself to smirk as well. “Seems kind of strange to me. Do they not like you very much?”
“Not really,” he said. “Not that I give a fuck who likes me or not.”
I paused, thinking through my answer before replying. “So, what’s your real name?”
“Too many questions,” he said, sounding almost irritated. “Why the fuck does my name even matter to you?”
I shrugged, not sure myself why it mattered, or why I’d even asked to begin with. It was just that I’d always asked my sexual partners’ names first; it was the only thing I ever asked. Somehow it made the act seem less cheap, made me feel less cheap.
“What’s your real name?” I asked again stubbornly, needing to know it before I went any further with this.
He studied me for a moment, his lids somewhat shuttered, before letting out a throaty, annoyed growl. “My name is Adler,” he finally said. “It means eagle in German, and they call me E for short. We done with the questions now, Wildcat?”
He didn’t wait for my answer. Already pushing himself away from the wall, he landed his hands on my waist and squeezed. His touch, the feel of his big, warm hands on my body, sent a jolt of sexual energy sizzling through me. Lifting them, he rubbed his thumbs against the underside of my breasts while his fingers dug painfully into the skin on my back.
Releasing a breath, I allowed my body to relax, telling myself this is exactly what I needed. Once I did this, I’d feel better, less empty. I’d always felt better after being with Jami. He’d taken away the bad, replacing it with something infinitely preferable—not good, but better than bad.
But E wasn’t Jami, and he certainly wasn’t Shawn. They’d been good men, kind men, and E was the exact opposite of good or kind. This was dangerous ground I was treading, not knowing E or anything about him, but his hands that were now traveling down my body sent my heart rate skyrocketing.
Like a drug addict who’d been offered a fix, I couldn’t resist him. The lure of what he could do for me was too strong; I knew he would numb the unwanted feelings, even if for just a little while.
Spinning me around, reversing our places, he slammed me hard up against the wall. I was reminded of Jami once again, how he’d always done something similar, and a pang of sadness rattled through me.
Because Jami was gone. Shawn was gone. And Leisel blamed me for everything.
It was just me now.
E’s mouth had found my neck, trailing hot, wet kisses across my throat and up my chin until his lips finally met mine. Coarse, bushy facial hair tickled against my cheeks while he pushed my lips apart, his tongue slipping inside my mouth. I still couldn’t bring myself to touch him, yet he didn’t seem to mind. Groping me harshly with experienced hands, he kissed me hard, full of eager tongue and nipping teeth.
“I won’t be gentle, Wildcat,” he said as he pulled away for a moment, his words as rough and threatening as his hands. Then he bit down on my lip, causing me to gasp while his hands painfully squeezed my breasts, as if to further make his point.
“You’re not gonna like me when I’m done,” he continued. “But you’ll be satisfied.”
Pulling away from me, leaving me breathless and full of wanting, he shrugged out of his faded denim jacket and let it fall to the ground. Then he was back, his hands on my waist, squeezing and kneading me as he brought me flush against his waiting erection and ground his hips against mine.
I still hadn’t touched him. Beneath all my desire, I was still afraid of this man. He was overly aggressive, dangerous, and didn’t strike me as the type to take no for an answer. A small part of me wanted to run from him, but the need I felt was greater, even if it meant lowering myself to this level.
Because feeling anything at all was better than feeling nothing.
His hands returned to my breasts, and with even more force than before, he groped and twisted, squeezing them to the point where I nearly cried out in pain.
I miss Jami.
Leisel doesn’t need me anymore.
And Shawn…oh God, my sweet, sweet, Shawn.
Poor, poor, self-pitying me.
Suddenly, I grabbed for E, wrapping my hands around his impossibly thick neck, crushing my mouth to his and kissing him in the same rough and greedy fashion as he’d been kissing me. His hands were everywhere now, exploring, grabbing, taking and taking…
And finally, the noise in my head began to clear, leaving only the here and now, me and E, and—
A siren wailed to life off in the distance, the awful howling so loud, so obnoxious, it ripped me instantly from the quiet place I’d just found. E pulled away from me, looking angry and violent, frustrated sexual aggression radiating from him, making the air around us seem thick and heavy.
“I need to go,” he said gruffly as he bent down to grab his jacket.
“What is it? What’s that noise?” I asked, realizing that I was suddenly cold, chilled to the bone from his touch. Wrapping my arms around my body, I rubbed my bare biceps, trying to warm myself.
“It’s a warning,” he said gruffly. “The camp’s shutting down. You need to get inside.”
Shrugging his jacket up and over his massive shoulders, he turned and began to walk away without even a good-bye. He was quickly enveloped by the crowds of people, nearly lost in the chaos as everyone scrambled to gather their things.
“A warning for what?” I yelled after him.
He abruptly stopped, forcing the surrounding people to find another way around him. “Rotters,” he said, turning to look at me. “A horde of them are headed our way.” He continued to stare at me, his gaze hard and unwavering. “We’ll finish this later, I’ll find you,” he said, his words a hard promise. Then he turned, the crowd engulfing him once more.
I stood there, still trembling from the aftereffects of E’s violent touches, feeling cheap and used despite nothing having actually happened between us. But now I was scared, as well.
A horde of infected were headed this way? I’d heard of hordes before, back in Fredericksville I’d overheard the guards discussing some of the things they’d seen while out scavenging. Large groups of infected roamed the country, growing in numbers as more infected added themselves to their walking collection of horrors.
A wall of death, that was what they’d called it.
“Wildcat, you need to get in here!”
Glancing up toward the voice, I found Dori leaning precariously out of a second-story window, gesturing wildly to me. Realizing that she’d probably seen everything that had transpired between E and me, I felt my cheeks flush with heat.
“My name’s Eve,” I snapped at her, not wanting to be reminded of E at the moment.
“E said you’re Wildcat,” she retorted, “and no one argues with E. Now, get in here!” Disappearing from view, she slammed the window shut behind her.
I stood there a moment, still in a daze, not sure exactly what it was that I was supposed to be doing. The camp had grown silent, an eerie quiet befalling the entire place. Slowly, I crept toward the corner, my steps soundless. Stopping at the edge of the building, I watch the stragglers, the remaining people still moving about and gathering their things. Fires were being silently extinguished, food was being boxed and taken away. All around me and up above me, windows were being shut, doors were
being locked, and within minutes the place was empty and lifeless.
I was still standing there staring, wondering why everyone was going to such extremes when a heavy fence, wired with electricity, surrounded this entire place. Yet, even the armed guards who always manned the fence had gone. Everyone was just…gone. Everyone except me. I was still standing here, gaping like a moron, when there was an obvious threat approaching.
“Shit,” I cursed, willing my legs into motion. I had to get back to Leisel, had to make sure she was inside and safe. Not that she needed me anymore. Not that she wanted me anywhere near her. She’d made her disdain for me painfully obvious with her parting words.
I’d just turned the corner when a hand came down hard on my shoulder, gripping my shirt, the sound of tearing fabric echoing in the silence. Before I could let out a scream, a hand covered my mouth and then I was dragged backward, my feet stumbling underneath me as I was pulled through a doorway and into darkness.
I kicked out in fear, expecting at any second to feel the teeth of an infected sink into my skin, then begin tearing my flesh from my bones.
“Calm down, Wildcat!” a familiar voice admonished me.
I went still, blinking through the darkness, waiting for my vision to adjust. Finally it did, and Dori’s face came into sight. Rolling forward in her wheelchair, she flicked her hand in the air, and the hands holding me fell away.
“What the fuck?” I yelled, and almost instantly a hand was clasped over my mouth. I struggled for a moment before realizing that struggling wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Another second passed, and the hand released me.
“What the fuck, Dori?” I whispered, glaring first at her, then over my shoulder at the tall man behind me.
Pressing one slender finger to her pursed lips, she grinned wickedly. Jerking her thumb over her shoulder, she began rolling down the hall. I glanced again to the man behind me who offered me a glare in return, showing no sign that he’d allow me to pass anytime soon. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I started after Dori down the hall.
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