by Measha Stone
I need to talk to you. There weren’t many reasons women used that phrase. Scott swallowed more beer and watched her movements. Stiff, but if she was anxious about the dinner, especially since it was sprung on her, that would be normal.
Gray studied him for a long moment, his forehead wrinkling. “Hey. I don’t know her like you do. She’s probably just nervous. You’re right. It’ll be fine. She’ll have some of Dani’s pasta, we’ll share a great dinner, and by the end it’ll be like we’ve known her forever.”
The words were right. Given in a more positive spirit, and said in the right order, so why did the weight in Scott’s stomach get heavier.
I have to talk to you.
“Right. Yeah.” Scott finished off his beer. “Dani, I’m taking the pasta to the table.” He grabbed the large bowl overflowing with creamy goodness.
Once all the food was settled, Scott poured the last of the wine into Sophie’s glass. She thanked him but still didn’t look up at him. His eyes hadn’t met hers since she arrived. Maybe she was just upset with him for springing the friend dinner on her. It had been risky, but he’d figured the reward would be worth it.
“I’ll get the other bottle,” he said and went into the kitchen while Dani told a story about one of her customers’ strange tattoo requests.
Scott pulled down the bottle of red from the rack and grabbed the opener from next to the sink. Sophie’s phone vibrated beside the bottle while he screwed into the cork. He glanced down at it briefly then worked the cork out of the bottle with a pop.
Again, her phone danced, and the screen lit up. She didn’t have a passcode on her phone? He should remind her to put one on. Anyone could get into her personal information without it.
Another message game through, and the bubbles all popped up on the screen.
Mom: Hey, hon. Sorry I missed your call.
Mom: Congrats on the transfer! So happy! Can’t wait to see you!
Scott dropped the corkscrew onto the counter and stared down at the phone, rereading the bubbles, sure he’d missed something. Transfer? The screen faded back to black, but he kept staring at it, willing the words to change. Willing the message to mean something other than her leaving.
She was transferring to Chicago?
I need to talk to you.
She hadn’t gotten mad about his friends being there because she had no intentions of keeping their relationship going anyway. She probably had her bags packed and ready to go already, and just stopped by to tell him goodbye.
He should be grateful she gave him at least that pinch of respect. She could have simply left town and let him hear the news from the captain.
Transfers didn’t just happen. This wasn’t a quick call and decision. She had to have put in for it before they’d started seeing each other. She knew they had a time stamp, knew she’d be leaving, and she didn’t think to mention it.
Well, of course not. They were casual. Just fuck buddies. She got a taste of the kink life, and he got a play partner for a little while.
He shoved both hands into his hair and blew out a long breath. His heart needed to stop hammering against his chest cavity so he could fucking think. As much as he wanted to yell, no, not yell, scream like a banshee at her, he couldn’t. And he wouldn’t. No matter how much what she did hurt him, he wouldn’t retaliate.
It wasn’t his style.
Pacing the kitchen to get a grip was exactly his style.
“You coming back sometime soon? I’m outnumbered here,” Gray called from the dining room.
Scott glared down at the silent cell phone. Stuffing his anger down as far as he could, he snatched the bottle and went back to dinner.
“Scott still needs to come by so we can work on his next tat.” Dani said while he poured her a glass of wine. He put the bottle down, probably harder than he should have, earning a quick glance from Dani and Gray. Sophie, he noticed, continued to stare at her plate.
“Another one?” Sophie lifted her chin but didn’t quite meet his gaze.
“My forearm needs some ink.” He tapped the blank spot on his arm and took his seat.
How could she sit and chat like nothing was happening? Like she wasn’t gearing up to rip out his heart and walk away. But she probably didn’t see that. He hadn’t professed his love for her. Hell he didn’t know if that’s what was forming in his chest for her, but he’d been damn clear on his feelings. He’d been so fucking transparent with her, probably too fucking much.
“Ah.” She grabbed her glass and took a sip. That’s it? That was her entire fucking reaction?
“How about you, Sophie? Got any tattoos or piercings?” Dani asked while giving Scott a curious look.
“No, nothing permanent on her,” Scott answered for her and took a heaping spoonful of pasta. She probably couldn’t handle so much as a wash-off tattoo, much less permanent ink.
“Scott.” There was a warning in Gray’s voice. But Scott already had been dragged to the edge of his patience. She’d either been hiding the transfer desire from him from the start, or she was running scared and not telling him about it. Either way, she’d completely duped him.
He should have seen it coming.
Nudging. He’d boasted to Dani he was simply nudging Sophie into taking their relationship out of the casual category. When in fact, she’d already hightailed straight into the see-ya-later genre.
“Shit.” Dani jumped in her seat and pulled out her phone. “The store.”
“What’s wrong?” Gray asked, leaning over to see the screen.
“The stupid alarm’s going off again. I asked the company to work on that.” Her thumbs tapped away on her phone. “I can shut it off from here, but I should go down there real quick to make sure it’s just another false alarm.”
Gray was already out of his chair before Dani flashed a disappointed smile across the table.
“I’ll take you.”
“You don’t have to. I’ve dealt with this before. It’s just a false alarm.” Dani walked behind him toward the front closet. Scott met them at the door. He could feel Sophie behind him. Tension was easy to feel when it was so fucking thick.
“You’ve gone down there before when the alarm went off? Did the police show?” Gray asked, holding her jacket out for her.
Dani rolled her eyes while she faced Scott. “The police showed up after I got there. It was a false alarm,” she reminded him while working the buttons of her jacket.
“We’ll talk about that when we get back to your apartment. I told you I don’t want you going down to the shop at night without me.” Gray pulled his keys from his jacket pocket.
“You realize I had a whole life before you became my dom, right? I can handle—” Gray’s deadpan stare seemed to be enough to silence her. “Fine. We’ll talk about it later.”
“Sorry to cook and run, but—”
“It’s fine, go. I hope everything’s okay,” Sophie said with a genuine smile. At least she made it look realistic. Inside, she probably counted the seconds until they left.
“Yeah, we’ll do this some other time.” Scott opened the front door. Dani rose on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek.
“Whatever your problem is, knock it off. Don’t blow this,” she whispered in his ear then gave one final wave to Sophie before heading into the hall.
Gray said his goodbyes to Sophie and gave Scott a curt nod before departing after his girlfriend.
“So, seems like it’s us and enough pasta to feed the entire department.” Sophie smiled at him.
“Guess so,” he said and stalked past her.
She followed him to the dining room and started cleaning up the dishes with him. They hadn’t even eaten, but he had no appetite.
“So, I’m kinda glad—”
“What happened to your cat?” he asked, dropping a plate into the sink.
Her eyes widened in surprise, and the crease in her brow deepened. “My what?”
“Your cat. You said you had Travis feed your cat when you wen
t to visit your mom. But I didn’t see a cat at your apartment, no litterbox or anything. So, what happened?” He leaned his hip against the sink.
“My new apartment didn’t allow pets. A woman in dispatch took him.” She placed the plates she was holding gently on the counter. Her voice took on calm. “What does that have to do with anything? Why are you acting so mad?”
“Why don’t you check your phone,” he suggested and walked out of the kitchen to get the rest of dishes off the table.
Chapter 24
The evening derailed. Sometime between arrival and sitting down with surprise company, an event occurred to ruin Scott’s mood.
When he told her to check her phone, she didn’t understand at first. What would her phone tell her?
She realized she’d left it on the counter earlier in the kitchen. Swiping it to life she found several text messages from her mother. Congratulating her on her transfer.
It wasn’t a transfer, but her mother never really understood the way government worked.
He must have seen the texts. And jumped right to the wrong conclusion. He had no idea what the text meant. It didn’t really matter, though. She’d need to come clean.
“Scott.” She followed him in the dining room. He’d grabbed the bowl of pasta— perfectly prepared—and cradled it in his arms.
“Were you going to tell me?” He gripped the bowl harder, like it was the thing keeping him upright.
“You looked at my phone.” She couldn’t help the accusatory tone. He had looked at her personal phone. She had reason to be annoyed by that. She didn’t go digging around his phone, or his drawers, or his stuff. Hell, she’d only been in his bedroom once!
“It went off while I was opening the bottle of wine,” he exclaimed. “You’re transferring.” His face hardened, the usual softness and gentle dominance she loved watching nowhere to be seen. Instead, he blanked on her. His jaw set tight, his eyes almost unreadable. Aside from the white of his fingertips as he held onto the damn bowl of pasta, she might not have known how angry he really was.
“It’s not like that.” How could she even begin to explain it all? So much time had gone past. She’d almost given up on anything coming of it.
“What’s it like then?”
“It’s not a transfer. Mom didn’t understand.” She would have laughed at her mom’s mistake. It wasn’t like Sophie hadn’t explained it to her five times already.
“Then, what is it?”
Her dream, the goal she’d been striving for since she understood right from wrong was there for the taking. How could she think of turning it down, even for someone like Scott? Maybe she didn’t need to, but it depended on him. Everything, her next decision, her next thought depended on how he would react to what she said next.
It wasn’t fair to put that much pressure on someone’s response, but it didn’t change anything.
“What, Sophie? What is it? Did things get less casual and too serious? Too much for you, so you put in for a transfer?” The heaviness of his anger smacked at her. She’d rather he yelled. Why wasn’t he yelling. The low, controlled voice sent a shiver through her.
“No. If you aren’t going to listen to me, then I can’t explain it.”
“Explain what? What can you possible explain?” He shook his head. “Never mind.” He walked around her to the kitchen. She didn’t move. She couldn’t. This Scott didn’t want to hear her, didn’t want to listen.
“Scott.”
“So, when’s this start, this new job? You moving out to Chicago right away?” He popped back up in the doorway.
“Chicago?”
“Yeah.”
He really had everything so wrong.
“I’m not moving to Chicago. Mom’s coming for a visit; that’s why she said she’d see me soon.” She took a breath. Everything moved too quickly. His anger over the huge misunderstanding gave her a pretty good estimate on how he’d react when she told him the full truth.
“Just get it over with. Just tell me and then you can go home.” He crossed his arms over his chest; the tattoos on his arm peeked out from his shirt. There was a spot that would be perfect for new ink, but from the look he gave her, she wasn’t sure she’d get to see it.
Her stomach twisted at the idea. This could be the last time they spoke. She’d spent so much time preparing to be alone, not letting him or anyone get too close, she’d forgotten to prepare for how much it would hurt when it came time.
“I’ve been accepted into the FBI academy. I’ve been waiting to hear back about my application. It’s taken so long, I thought it wasn’t going to happen.” A moment that should have been filled with excitement and pride shriveled beneath his open stare. Any reaction would have been better than the nothingness.
“It takes months to get through the application process. Testing and background checks, interviews, you never mentioned it.” The calm of his tone unsettled her. He took a soft step toward her, moving sleekly, his eyes narrowing in on her as though she were his prey.
A day ago, she’d have found his predatory movements more than just a little arousing. Her panties would be soaked.
But now. Staring back at his unbridled anger, her insides shook with worry over his next reaction.
“I didn’t know if I’d get in. I passed the fitness test, but barely. My run isn’t the greatest. There was a good chance I wouldn’t make it.” She rambled. It’s what she did when faced with the hard truth, and the truth of the situation was, she’d hidden it from him.
“And you didn’t think to tell me this when we started seeing each other?” With another step, he closed off any space between them.
“I—”
“You know, this sort of makes sense.” He straightened his spine. “You had a bad experience with dating a cop at your last precinct, so why try again with me? That’s been sort of rolling around the back of my head, but I get it now. You weren’t planning to stick around, so no skin off your nose, right? Just so long as no one found out we were together, that way if the Bureau starting really snooping around, they wouldn’t find you fucking your partner.”
Her breath whooshed from her lungs. “No. That’s not it at all, Scott.”
“Which is why you made sure no one at the station knew anything was going on between us.” He jabbed a finger in her direction.
“No. I was honest about wanting to keep things casual.”
“Because you had one foot out the fucking door already,” he accused.
She blinked, feeling the droplets of her tears roll down her cheeks.
“No. I mean, yeah, I wasn’t looking to get serious because I might be going, but I wasn’t trying trick you. I was honest.” She took a deep, shaky breath. Her fingers fidgeted at her sides. “I came over tonight to tell you, to talk with you about it, but your friends were here. You were the one doing the scheming. Not me.” Her temper overrode the hurt.
“Oh, you’re right.” He walked to the hall closet and jerked the door open. “I’m a lying scheming bastard because I wanted something more. Because I was trying to build something between us. Because I wanted more than just a fuck buddy.” Snatching her coat and purse, he thrust them at her. “You don’t have to hide anymore, or run away, or transfer out of the station house.”
It couldn’t end this way. Not like this. Not with so much anger. Not when he didn’t have the whole story. Why couldn’t he listen to her?
Because he’d put himself out there. He’d been completely honest about his feelings every step of the way, and she’d just trampled over all of it.
“Scott, listen to me. Please. I didn’t—”
“You know, I think I’ve listened to enough. Congratulations on the new job. You’ll kick ass at the academy.” Grabbing the handle, he yanked the front door open.
She stared at the exit. Just beyond was an open hallway. And beyond that an elevator. And beyond that, outside.
“I wasn’t using you,” she said in a soft breath.
“No? Well, it d
oes seem that way, doesn’t it? I know I didn’t get to everything on your list, but I’m sure the guy you pick up at the club next time you’re there can take it from here.”
Her chest twisted. No air could get into her lungs. Tears flowed silently.
Gazing up at him would be a mistake, but she’d made so many so far. His eyes remained closed off from her. She couldn’t get past the wall he’d put up, to see the real him. Hurt. She could feel that from him, but if he would give her a minute, give her a chance, she could explain.
Words wouldn’t come, though. Only the crippling pain shooting through her chest. Maybe hearts really did break. Maybe it wasn’t just a saying.
She slid her arms into her coat and slung her purse over her shoulder. The whole while she kept her gaze averted from him.
No point in trying to walk through a wall. She stepped out into the hall. The loud bang of the door as it closed behind her, followed by the metallic click of the lock sliding into place nearly deafened her.
That was it?
Just like that?
She’d lost him?
She’d lost him.
Chapter 25
“So, you just left it like that?” Gray narrowed his gaze from across the dinner table. “Really?”
“What was I supposed to do? She was leaving —had been leaving since the moment I met her. I wasn’t going to beg.” Scott leaned back, pushing the cushions of Dani’s couch out of his way. He’d been sleeping like crap for the past week. Since he’d seen her last.
“Nothing at work? Not even hello?” Gray pushed.
“Nope. She took the week off. Guess she’s leaving for the academy soon, so the department gave her leave to get her shit in order.” Scott crossed his foot over his leg then readjusted the positioning. “This couch is shit,” he grumbled, getting up and moving to the armchair.
“We could have had this over at my apartment, but Dani is being a little stubborn about it,” Gray said, raising his voice. Dani’s head popped into view from the kitchen, and she blew him a kiss.
“Well, having dinner at my place didn’t exactly work out, so, better to keep to tradition, I guess.” Scott lifted his leg, putting his foot on the secondhand coffee table’s edge. “What time does the game start?” he asked, reaching for the remote.