“What did she do?” Martha asked.
“Colorful language, I would expect,” Candace said.
Martha looked at the governor knowingly. “You’ve lost a child too.”
Candace sighed. She was certain that Martha was referring to Rick. She made the decision to share a truth that she discussed with few people. “Two, actually,” she confessed.
Martha looked at the governor curiously. “Between my eldest and my middle child,” Candace told her. “He was born with a congenital heart defect,” Candace explained. “It...Well, he made it for two days,” Candace said softly.
“What was his name?” Martha asked.
“Lucas,” Candace replied.
“I’ll bet he was beautiful.”
It was a time in Candace’s life that no one made mention of. It had been a time that had nearly killed Candace. Candace smiled in spite of the tears that gathered in her eyes. “He was.”
Martha reached over and took Candace’s hands. “Seems we have something in common,” she said. “Losing children before their time.”
“I promise you,” Candace began. “There will be accountability.”
“I believe you,” Martha said. “Now, I have to worry about my other two out there in that mess. And, my daddy? He would be madder than hell but he would be worried about his friends.”
“I will do whatever I can.”
“It would help, wouldn’t it? If people knew Ty’s granddaddy had a badge,” Martha guessed.
“Probably,” Candace admitted.
“Mmm…Tell me, Governor Reid…”
“Candace,” Candace told Martha. “Call me Candace, please.”
Martha smiled. “He would have liked you.”
“Who?” Candace wondered.
“Ty. He would’ve like you.”
“I’m certain that I would have liked him,” Candace said.
“Tell me, why do you do this?” Martha asked curiously.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” Candace confessed.
“Well, seems you have a lovely family—kids and grandkids. I see you all on the news. Why do this? Deal with all of this?” Martha wanted to know.
Candace considered her answer for a moment. “Well, I suppose in a way I do it for them, even if they don’t think so,” she said. “But, my Granddad—he always told me that if you were lucky enough to have a full life, more than enough to eat, a place to feel safe, a chance for an education and to see the world…Well, you owed it to others to try and make it better for them too. Some people, he would say were given every opportunity and wasted them all. And, too many people looked for any opportunity and couldn’t seem to find them.”
Martha nodded. She and Governor Candace Reid came from different worlds and yet the more she listened to the governor speak, the less she saw the state in the stateswoman.
“He would have liked you,” Candace told Martha. “My Granddad. I know it sounds….Well, empty. I am sorry for your loss.”
“It’s only empty when someone doesn’t mean it,” Martha said. “Could I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Do you finally ever believe it is real? That they’re gone?”
Candace clasped Martha’s hands more firmly. “I’m not sure that you do—no. Maybe because for us they never really are.”
Candace watched as the floodgates opened and a strangled cry broke forth from the depths of Martha Jeffries’ soul. Candace pulled the younger woman to her and held her close. She spoke no words. Instead, she allowed her tears to fall with the stranger who somehow seemed more like a sister now in her embrace. Life could be incredibly unfair, death even more so. Candace looked up momentarily and caught Dana’s empathetic gaze. Dana moved in front of the two women to shield them from any prying eyes. No longer were they a governor and her constituent. They were simply two mothers who understood the pain of loss that never truly ceased.
Chapter Four
“How was J.D.?” Laura asked Jonah as she put little Jameson in his crib.
Jonah sighed. “I don’t know. Something was on her mind, I could tell.”
“She’s probably worried about your mom,” Laura guessed.
“Yeah, but it’s not just that,” he said. Jonah started chuckling. “You should have seen her face when Spencer put her in time-out for saying ‘shit.’”
“I think he wants to be her.”
Jonah nodded. “He sat at that drafting table for nearly three hours until J.D. finally bribed him with chicken fingers to leave.”
“You worried about J.D.?”
“Not really worried. I just wonder what is going through her head.”
“You don’t think they are having problems, do you?” Laura asked with concern.
“Who? Mom and J.D.?” he asked. Laura nodded. “Nah. I’ve heard them arguing a few times, but it never lasts. It’s not that,” he said.
“Why not just ask her?” Laura suggested. “What’s on her mind, I mean?” she clarified. Jonah shrugged. Laura took a seat next to him on the bed. “Jonah?”
“I just hope it’s not me.”
“What are you talking about?” Laura asked.
“What if she’s disappointed in me? I mean, she’s given Mel and me a lot of authority. What if I screwed up and she’s afraid to tell me? Maybe she’s mad that we moved here.”
Laura smiled at Jonah and kissed him on the cheek. “J.D. loves you.”
“J.D. cares about all of us because she loves Mom.”
Laura shook her head. “No. I think you know it’s more than that. I doubt she’s mad. Maybe she just misses having you around.”
“I doubt that,” Jonah snickered. “I would think Marianne and the kids would be enough.”
“Mmm.”
“What?”
“I think you might be missing a few things there,” Laura said. “J.D. is dealing with a lot of change too. Your mom has been away. We’re here in Albany. She’s trying to walk in between here and there to help Marianne. Maybe you should take a ride to the house and hang out with her and Spencer for a day. Take J.J. with you and the four of you can hang out.”
“Need a break?” Jonah teased his girlfriend.
“I wouldn’t complain.”
Jonah groaned. He’d been working long hours for a few weeks. “I haven’t been much help lately.”
“You’re working for your wicked step-mother. I’ve read the stories. I know what to expect.”
Jonah laughed. Laura had a unique way of relieving his worries. He looked at her lovingly, realizing not for the first time how lucky he was. “You know, one of these days she’ll be your wicked stepmother too,” he said.
Laura leaned in and kissed Jonah gently. “I’ve already scrubbed her floors, so I’ll be prepared.”
“I think you’re spending too much time with Grandma Pearl,” Jonah surmised.
“She’s a smart woman,” Laura said.
“Yeah, she is.”
“Seriously, Jonah…Talk to J.D. She’s like your big sister.”
“Not really,” he said quietly.
Laura grinned. “You really see her as another parent, don’t you?”
“I guess, I do. I don’t want to disappoint them. They’ve done so much for us.”
“Yes, they have. Wouldn’t you do the same for J.J.?”
“I’d do anything for him,” Jonah said assuredly.
“Well, there’s your answer. Stop worrying and talk to J.D.”
“How’d you get so smart?”
“Someone told me to listen. I took her advice.”
Jonah nodded. “Too much time with Grandma.”
Laura winked. She knew that Jonah was referring to Pearl. It was true. She had been spending a great deal of time with Pearl since she and Jonah had moved east. Pearl spent every Wednesday in Albany. She stayed with J.J. in the morning so that Laura could take a class and then tried to visit with Candace later in the day. But, Laura had not been referring to Pearl’s sage wisdom. She als
o had been spending a fair amount of time with Candace. And, what Jonah didn’t know was that Candace called Laura at least three times a week to check in. Candace had taken on a motherly role in Laura’s life, filling a void that her family’s rejection had left. It made it easy for Laura to understand Jonah’s feelings toward Jameson.
Jonah had never been close to his father. While he loved his mother, Laura also knew that his relationship with Candace had been strengthened by Candace’s marriage to Jameson. Jameson and Jonah clicked. Jonah trusted Jameson and Jameson seemed to have tapped into Jonah’s passions unlike anyone in his life before. Laura often thought it uncanny how much alike Jonah and Jameson were. Laura was a great deal like Candace. She saw the world similarly and Candace had recognized that fact early on. It left Laura with the notion that people were brought together for many reasons. Families were not always defined by the blood they shared. There were elements that ran deeper than blood—love, for instance.
“Just ask J.D.,” Laura suggested again. “Whatever is on her mind, maybe it will make you both feel better.”
“You sound like my mom,” Jonah joked.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
***
Candace let her eyes fall shut and her head collapse against the soft leather of the seat in the limousine. She was beyond exhausted. She wondered if a word had been invented that could describe how she felt. She’d dealt with her fair share of complicated issues over the years. She’d survived more than a few disappointments, heartbreak and endured plenty of criticism for her approach to handling all of it. Candace had paid attention to the lessons that life gave her. That’s what she considered each victory and each obstacle, every disappointment and every celebration—a moment to learn and an opportunity to teach. Right now, she felt little inclination toward either. The only thing Candace wanted was to fall away in Jameson’s arms and sleep for the next three days or until whenever this latest storm cloud decided to pass. The problem was, this storm had begun to rage within her as much as it seemed to surround her.
Dana observed Candace from across the seat silently. Candace appeared weary, a sight that Dana would never become accustomed to. It seldom painted the governor’s features. Dana had seen Candace bone tired, over-worked, concerned, frustrated and determined. She’d watched Candace struggle to suppress her anger and even curb her biting humor at times. There had been less than a handful of times that Dana had been troubled by Candace’s demeanor. Candace’s resolve was always evident. It had been a trying day. Candace had met with the mayor and police officials. She had visited a community center and several churches to meet with community leaders. As always, Candace had spoken truthfully and sought to bring what could have become opposing forces together. From Dana’s vantage point, the new governor’s efforts had been met with great success. Demonstrations were still occurring in several neighborhoods, but no one had been injured and only two arrests had been made.
It had surprised Dana when Candace had approached and informed her that Martha Jeffries wanted to make a statement with Candace at her side. Dana had been in this game long enough to know the five minutes Martha Jeffries and Candace Reid had taken to stand together had served to turn the emotional tide dramatically in the community. It had been a brief yet emotional display of both determination and grief. And, Dana had found herself marveling at the woman across from her again. She hadn’t been privy to the entire conversation that had taken place between Martha Jeffries and Candace, but she was certain whatever had transpired it had taken its toll on her friend.
Candace had developed a kind of sixth sense over the years. She often appeared to have her eyes focused on some document in front of her, to be engaged in conversation, or to be resting comfortably with her eyes closed, but she always knew when someone was gauging her in the distance. She could feel the heat from Dana’s stare boring into her.
“What’s on your mind?” Candace asked without opening her eyes. She heard a small sigh escape Dana’s lips and pried one eye open.
Dana rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible,” she told Candace.
“Quite possibly. Now, what is it that you don’t want to ask me…or tell me?”
Another sigh preceded Dana’s downtrodden smile. “I don’t know if this is the best time.”
“Is there a better time?” Candace asked caustically. “Let me ask you this? Is it something I need to know?”
“It’s something you asked to know. I just am not sure now is the best time…”
Candace opened both eyes and stared directly at Dana. “If I asked, there was a reason. What did I ask?”
Dana passed Candace a folder. Candace kept her gaze fixed on Dana for a moment before opening it. She covered her mouth and shook her head. “Shit.”
“I’m sorry, Candace.”
Candace nodded and looked back at her friend. “Talk about a day going from bad to worse.”
Dana laughed nervously. “What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know that there is anything we can do,” Candace answered sadly. “Just follow up. Let me know…Well, let me know where he is.”
Dana nodded. “Candace…”
Candace closed her eyes. “I just want this day to be over.”
***
Jameson felt something soft pressed against her back. “Hum? Candace?”
Candace’s lips were traveling over Jameson’s shoulder, her hand running softly over the curve of Jameson’s hip. Jameson felt her breath catch and she closed her eyes again, enjoying the feel of Candace touching her. Slowly, Jameson turned and came face to face with her wife. She reached out and gently cupped Candace’s face in her hands. Jameson smiled at Candace tenderly. A million emotions danced in Candace’s eyes as Jameson brought their lips together in silent understanding.
“I need you,” Candace whispered.
To most people, Candace Reid appeared controlled in the face of adversity and crisis, not that she gave off an air of stoicism. Her compassion was always evident. But, Candace’s public persona required that she remain stately. The occasional tear that ran over her cheek made her approachable and real to the rest of the world. The stage of political leadership, however, required that Candace temper an outward display of her feelings. It was the same in their family. Three children and three grandchildren looked to Candace for her guidance and strength and she endeavored to provide that in every way possible. At times, the need to restrain her emotions left Candace unable to release them. In those moments, she sought Jameson. She craved the safety and the acceptance that the connection she shared with Jameson always provided.
Jameson needed no further invitation. She had missed Candace the last two weeks. She had grown to understand the way Candace’s heart and mind sought release. And, she understood her role in Candace’s life. Jameson ran her fingertips over Candace’s lips before moving to kiss her tenderly. She felt Candace’s hands on her cheeks, holding her closer, prolonging the sweetness of their kiss. Jameson’s heart fluttered and she had the momentary thought that it amazed her that no amount of time seemed to change that—the way the slightest touch from Candace could leave her quivering.
Jameson’s lips slowly descended over Candace’s throat. Her hand followed closely behind in a delicate dance that left Candace’s body tingling in anticipation. Candace’s head fell back and Jameson listened as a series of soft sighs escaped Candace’s lips. One by one, Jameson deliberately addressed the buttons of Candace’s white blouse until it fell open. Jameson had to close her eyes to still her emotions.
“God, you are so beautiful,” Jameson whispered as her lips caressed the swell of Candace’s breasts.
Candace opened her eyes and she caught sight of Jameson looking at her reverently. She dropped her hand and coaxed Jameson to look at her. She smiled sweetly, touched by the devotion evident in Jameson’s eyes. She traced over Jameson’s eyebrows and nose with her fingers and brushed the hair from Jameson’s eyes.
Jameson smiled at Cand
ace as she lifted her slightly. She removed Candace’s blouse and bra without ever breaking their mutual gaze. Her lips found Candace’s again. This time, passion colored the moment. She needed Candace. She needed to feel Candace against her, the softness of Candace’s skin and the warmth of her breath.
Candace sensed Jameson’s growing desire, knowing that it rivaled her own. She lifted Jameson’s T-shirt over her head and closed her eyes when Jameson lowered her to the bed again. She could sense Jameson’s presence hovering above her. Jameson kissed Candace’s forehead, her eyelids, her nose and then her lips sweetly. Candace gasped when Jameson’s fingers played lightly over her breasts. She held her breath when she felt Jameson move to lower her skirt.
“So beautiful,” Jameson breathed again.
“Jameson…”
Jameson was positive that she would never tire of touching Candace. Candace’s body moved perfectly in time with Jameson’s. Jameson moved to address the last vestiges of their clothing and brought their bodies together in a sensual dance that astounded her in its delicate ferocity. Making love with Candace was the most gentle and the most exhilarating experience Jameson could imagine. It often reminded her of drifting on ocean waves on a hot summer day. Jameson would close her eyes and trust the wave to carry her along. She would relish the way the sun caressed her and the water cooled her until finally a wave would break over her. She would be pulled under the surface violently and struggle to fill her lungs with air. And, just when Jameson was certain she would never breathe deeply again, a new warmth would envelop her, filling her with a sense of peace that transcended time and space—completion.
Candace opened her eyes and met Jameson’s. Her hips rose to meet Jameson’s just as Jameson leaned in and claimed her lips in a searing kiss. Her hands traveled up and down Jameson’s spine, holding onto Jameson with a desperate need to climb higher and trust Jameson to be the tether that would keep her grounded when she finally spiraled into a violent free fall back to earth.
Jameson dropped her hand between them and immediately felt Candace’s body begin to tremble. She pulled back from their kiss and whispered in Candace’s ear. “Let go,” she told Candace.
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