Elvis and the Tropical Double Trouble

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Elvis and the Tropical Double Trouble Page 20

by Webb, Peggy


  Even if I were a gambling dog, I wouldn’t place bets on this one. Lovie’s as stubborn as they come, but Rocky doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who will give up.

  And then there’s my human mom. Callie brought Jack back home, but only to take care of him until his leg heals and he can take care of himself. Or so she says.

  Listen, I saw how she stayed at that hospital in Cozumel night and day till the doctors said the surgery was successful. (Jack’s out of the woods and he’s going to be like brand-new again.)

  As you know, I’m a keen observer of human nature, especially when it happens to be the two humans I love best. Let me tell you, nothing has changed between them. Except now he’s issuing daily and irritating love advice to Callie, who is determined to ignore him and pursue happiness with Champ.

  I’m not too worried about the outcome. Wait till Jack’s a hundred percent again. Then we’ll see who Callie really wants.

  Anyhow, I don’t have time to fret over my human parents. I’ve my own love problems. Would you believe that sawed-off Lhasa escape artist has been courting Ann-Margret and trying to take over as poppa to my offspring? Even worse, my own private and personal French poodle has been making eyes right back at the “Devil in Disguise.”

  All this according to my own grapevine, Javetis’ best redbone hound dog and my best friend, Trey.

  If that useless-tailed William keeps messing with the King’s sweetie, he’s going to get about two inches gnawed off his three-inch legs.

  Trey says no French poodle is worth fighting over, but who said anything about fighting? Listen, a dog of my talent and iconic status doesn’t need to use force. Curled lips, swiveling hips, and a howling rendition of “Love Me Tender” should do the trick.

  Elvis has left the building.

  Lovie’s Southern Fixin’s

  Ham and Biscuit

  Country Cured Ham (I use Miller’s Biscuit Strips)

  Biscuits (recipe below)

  While biscuits are cooking, heat a small amount of canola oil in the skillet to medium temperature. Add very thin, very lean slices of country cured ham and heat about two minutes per side (more if you like a crispier piece of ham).

  Lovie’s Gluten-Free Biscuits

  1 cup of Bob’s Red Mill Biscuit and Baking Mix

  (Gluten-Free)

  2 T. unsalted butter

  2 heaping T. of sour cream (do not used reduced fat)

  9 T. 2 percent milk

  Buttered or biscuit pan

  Put biscuit mix in a small bowl and make a well in the center of the mix. (Don’t sift.) Melt 2 T. butter in the microwave. Mix together the melted butter, sour cream, and 2 T. of milk. Pour the liquid mixture into the well you’ve made in the Red Mill dry mix. Stir until the Red Mill mix has a grainy consistency. Add the rest of the milk in small increments until the batter forms a soft ball and leaves the side of the bowl. Don’t over-mix. If you need more milk, add only a small amount at a time.

  Sprinkle a dough board with Bob’s Red Mill Gluten-Free Biscuit mix. Turn your dough ball onto the board and pat until you have a circle of dough approximately ¼ to ½ an inch high. Cut into circles with biscuit cutter. Melt a small amount of butter (not too much) in the biscuit pan, dredge both sides of the biscuits in the butter, then bake for 15 minutes in a preheated 350-degree oven. Makes about 10 biscuits.

  Don’t wait for the biscuits to brown. Gluten-free mix does not brown in the same manner as wheat flour. Your finished gluten-free biscuit should be just barely beginning to turn light golden.

  This dough freezes well. Freeze already cut biscuits on a cookie tin until firm, then drop frozen biscuits into a plastic freezer bag. When ready to use, take out as many as you want, let thaw about fifteen minutes, the bake as usual.

  Note from Elvis: The author, Peggy Webb, has to eat a gluten-free diet. After trying several mixes and following instructions on the package, she came up with biscuits hard enough to knock a bull in the head. With a lot of help from yours truly, she finally created this really good gluten-free biscuit.

  Trey Webb’s Nassau Grits

  Instant Grits

  1 lb. of bacon

  1 14.5 oz. can of sliced tomatoes

  1 large green bell pepper

  1 large onion

  ½ stick of butter

  In a large pot on the top of the stove, cook enough instant grits to serve eight according to directions on package, adding ½ stick of butter to the water before you cook. Turn the heat off under the cooked grits while you prepare the other ingredients.

  Cook 1 lb. of bacon till crisp. Crumble bacon and set aside. Reserve bacon grease. Chop 1 bell pepper and 1 onion, and sauté both in bacon grease. Set aside.

  Add 1 can of tomatoes with its juice to the grits. Add the crumbled bacon, the sautéed bell peppers and onions, and ALL the bacon grease. Mix all ingredients into the grits and serve piping hot.

  Note from Elvis: Trey Webb is the author’s son and one of the best doggoned cooks in the South. This is not a recipe for the fainthearted. As Trey says, “Adding butter is optional, but it’s always helpful.” Delicious, too, might I add! And guess who is named after Trey in the mysteries? My best buddy, Jarvetis Johnson’s redbone hound dog, Trey!

  Mama’s Down Home Peach Cobbler

  1 stick of butter

  1 14.5 oz. can of sliced peaches in sweetened juice

  1 cup of self-rising flour

  1 cup of sugar

  1 cup of milk, whole or 2 percent (Do not use skim.)

  In an 8 x 8 inch glass baking dish, melt 1 stick of butter. Set

  aside.

  Mix together 1 cup of self-rising flour and 1 cup of sugar. Add 1 cup of milk. Stir until smooth. (For variety, you can use ¾ cup of milk and ¼ cup of juice from the peaches. This makes the cobbler a bit chewier but very, very good.)

  This batter will be very thin. Slowly pour it into the melted butter in the casserole dish. DO NOT STIR.

  Drain the can of peaches. Fork one slice at a time into the casserole dish on top of the batter. DO NOT STIR. Arrange slices until the top of the cobbler is covered. Use all the peaches.

  Bake in a preheated 350-degree oven till the cobbler is light golden brown and a fork inserted in the center comes out clean. This will take about 30 minutes. Do not overcook. Serve hot with a topping of vanilla ice cream.

  Note from Elvis: This is an old family recipe handed down from the author’s mother, who lived on her farm until shortly before her death. Guess which character is modeled on Peggy’s feisty mom? Ruby Nell, of course.

  Granny’s Green Punch

  1 can of sweetened pineapple juice

  1 large bottle of ginger ale

  1 quart of lime sherbet

  Put the block of lime sherbet in the bottom of a large punch bowl. Pour the cans of juice and ginger ale over the sherbet. You can add these one at a time or simultaneously. Swirl around but do not attempt to break up the ice cream. As the punch is served, the ice cream will melt, causing the punch to take on a creamy consistency.

  If you’re serving a big group, buy large amounts of juice, ginger ale, and sherbet, and then just keep pouring them into the punch bowl.

  For variety, substitute orange, pineapple, or strawberry sherbet for the lime. Vanilla or peach ice cream are also delicious in this drink. If you’re using the punch for a wedding, as Lovie often does, you can choose an ice cream to coordinate with the bride’s colors. Callie would approve!

  Note from Elvis: This recipe has been around a long time, probably in many forms, but the one in this book was handed down from Dorothy Champion, Anita Webb’s grandmother. Anita, the author’s daughter-in-law, says that when she was a child, she and her cousins thought their grandmother had magical powers because she made their punch turn green. Where have you seen the name “Champion”? Champ, of course—Luke Champion, the vet in the Southern Cousins Mystery series.

  Lovie’s Prohibition Punch

  1 jug of sweet tea (6 cups)

  6 c. o
f sweet lemonade

  2 c. of sweet pineapple juice

  1½c. light rum (adjust to taste)

  Add some extra dry gin if you’re feeling adventurous, but not too much, because the gin will make the punch too tart.

  Garnish:

  1 sprig of mint

  Slices of fresh lemons, limes, and oranges

  Fresh strawberries are also good in the summer.

  Brew tea the Southern way: steep 6 tea bags for 2 and half minutes in 6 cups of boiling water. Sweeten to taste while the water is hot so the sugar will melt. Add six cups of sweet lemonade. You can use the commercial kind, but the punch is better if you make the lemonade from scratch with real lemons and all that good pulp. Add 2 cups of sweetened canned pineapple juice.

  Add 1½ cups of light rum to taste.

  Top with garnishes. Serve in Mason jars over crushed ice.

  Note from Elvis: This recipe came from Alice Virginia Daniel, the inspiration for Lovie. She is the author’s long-time friend. You can catch Peggy and Alice on the local TV station every Sunday morning sitting side by side in the first soprano section of the choir loft, singing like angels with slightly crooked haloes.

  Serve up a batch of Lovie’s Southern Fixin’s, then sit on the front porch and enjoy reading all of Peggy Webb’s Southern Cousins Mysteries.

  Elvis has left the building!

  Kensington Books are published by

  Kensington Publishing Corp.

  119 West 40th Street

  New York, NY 10018

  Copyright © 2011 by Peggy Webb

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

  Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2011931655

  ISBN: 978-0-7582-7403-8

 

 

 


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