by Jillian Neal
He tucked her closer, needing to feel her sweet breath whisper across his chest. Needing to have her wrapped in his physical strength and in his emotional weakness.
He’d have sold his soul for her to wake up and want to talk right then, but she slept peacefully in his arms, with an occasional sigh of contentment. He decided those sighs were better than talking just then. They could talk in the morning.
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By what had to have been the sixteenth ring, Dec understood two things. The damn thing wasn’t going to shut up, and Holly wasn’t going to awaken to answer it. His sweet baby slept on in his arms despite the glimmer of sunlight dancing on the dresser mirror and the shrill call of her cell phone.
Easing away from her, he carefully tucked her back in the covers, pulled on a pair of boxers, and headed down the stairs. A sense of unease twisted in his gut. Someone wanted to talk to her badly. He had no right to go through her purse or answer her phone. Intent on simply turning it off, he located it quickly without having to rifle through her personal belongings too much.
When he saw the name on the screen he dropped the phone like he’d just inadvertently grasped a hot skillet. Dad. Nope. Nope. Nope. He was not talking to ‘Dad.’ Not now. He was beyond certain that Dad had not yet heard about Dec, and until Holly decided to change that he wasn’t going to fuck it up. Besides, no father in their right mind wanted confirmation via a male voice answering their daughter’s phone early in the morning that their little girl was keeping the owner of the male voice’s bed warm. On top of all of that, he was not the kind of guy you took back to the ranch to meet Mom and Pops. Not that Holly had indicated that she wanted to make introductions, but Dec knew what his past mistakes had cost him.
The damn thing started ringing again. Shit. Clearly, Dad needed to talk to Holly. He couldn’t send it to voicemail lest her father suspect she was up and refusing his calls. All he wanted in the world was to shut the damn thing up and return to bed with her. There were at least a hundred far sexier ways to awaken his sleeping beauty than to hand her a phone with her father on the other end.
A full minute passed between rings. Maybe he’d assumed she was still asleep and had decided to call back later. Dec reached to turn off the ringer, something he would have thought of earlier if he’d been more awake, when it started ringing again.
This time the screen read Luke. Who the fuck was Luke? An unhealthy level of possessive ire ticked in Dec’s blood. Were the calls somehow related? Did Luke know her father? Was Luke some guy back home she’d dated in the past? Some guy waiting on her to move back to wherever the ranch was? Shaking himself, he drew a steadying breath. Holly was not Victoria. She wasn’t the kind to cheat. He had to get it together.
Succumbing to his morning fate, he carried the phone up to the bedroom. There she was, clutching his pillow instead of his chest now. He noted the hesitant glints of auburn in her long brunette hair as the rising sunlight played amongst its long strands.
Settling back beside her, carrying the now silenced but still ringing phone, he brushed a kiss on her cheek. “Did my sexy cowgirl sleep well?”
She gave a few audible huffs and buried her face further in his pillow. Chuckling, he continued to kiss what portions of her cheek and shoulder he could access. “I agree. But your phone has been ringing non-stop.”
She roused. Rubbing her face, she managed to sit upright. When her fingers scrubbed down over her cheeks and lips, she cringed. “Oh God, I drooled on you, didn’t I?”
That did it. Dec laughed at her outright. “You did, and I found it completely adorable. Pretty sure that means I’m falling harder than I thought.”
“I’m so sorry. I do that. I don’t mean to but I always have. I’m a drooly sleeper.”
“Sweetheart, I had all kinds of you all over me last night, and it was easily the best night of my entire life. I really do think it’s cute. Why don’t you talk to whoever Luke is and then we can go back to sleep and you can soak me down again.” He tried to keep the disdain from his voice but hadn’t quite managed it.
A mischievous smirk joined the sheet marks and rosy glow painted on her face. He longed to kiss her until he’d replaced the smirk with a genuine smile. “Jealous?”
“Should I be?”
“Definitely not,” she giggled. “He’s my big brother.”
Feeling like a complete imbecile, he huffed, “I warned you I was possessive. You encouraged it. There’s some American statement about sleeping in the bed you made or some other such thing.”
“I like you possessive, but I should probably talk to him.” She pointed to the vibrating phone still clutched in Dec’s hands.
“Your father called as well. Unless you call someone besides me Daddy.”
“I did not call you Daddy.” She was still giggling. That intoxicating sound filled the hollow, empty places she’d filled the evening before with her delectable moans of his name.
“I’m still hoping.” He winked at her and relinquished the phone.
“Is there some particular reason you’re calling me at. . .” she held the phone out in front of her until it displayed the time,“. . .nine o’clock on a Saturday morning?” Holly didn’t mean to be quite so irritated with Luke, but dammit, this was not at all how this particular morning was supposed to go.
“There some particular reason you’re still asleep at nine o’clock in the morning?” Luke challenged.
“I was out late last night.” Holly hoped her blush blended in with the afterglow of sex or sleep that was surely painted on her cheeks.
“Uh-huh. You were up late. Only time you ever sleep late is when there’s some new asshole involved.”
How did her brother even know that? She hadn’t dated anyone in well over a year. That was the problem with having four older siblings that felt certain they should have some say in your life. She rolled her eyes. It made her feel better, even if Luke couldn’t see her. “How’s Indie?” Changing the subject seemed the best possible choice.
“Beautiful. Full of my babies, and also bitching at me on the reg’lar since she can’t get under the cars to work on them anymore.”
Holly grinned at that. Her sister-in-law was currently pregnant with twins due in a few months’ time. “Well, it is totally your fault she can’t wrench for a while.”
“Never said it wasn’t, and nobody loves that belly full of my little girls more than me, so she’s welcome to fuss about it all she wants. But listen to me, Dad’s been calling you all morning. He handed you off to me because he didn’t want to think about why you weren’t answering. We think you may want to come home.”
Hesitation and concern perforated Luke’s low drawl. Holly’s heart sank. “Why? What’s wrong?” Panic immediately set in. What if something was wrong with her mama, or one of her brothers, or Natalie?
“It’s Aurora Belle, Holl.”
Tears sprang to Holly’s eyes. She tried to swallow around the rock-like enclosure that sealed her throat at those words. Dammit, she couldn’t deal with this much emotion without coffee.
Dec’s face fell. He’d been studying her while she talked. He scooped her up into his lap and silently brushed a kiss in her hair. His hands settled her. His steady strength held her tightly, and she hadn’t even told him what was wrong yet.
Aurora Belle was one of the Camden horses. She happened to have always been Holly’s favorite. She’d helped Holly fly whenever she wasn’t sure she had the strength to do whatever had to be done. Aurora Belle had been her best friend since birth.
A few months ago, Luke, who was also the town vet along with helping run the ranch, had come to find Holly out in one of the barns, wrapped her up in his arms, and tried as delicately as he could to explain that Aurora Belle had Lymphosarcoma cancer and that there was nothing he could do.
“Is she. . . ?” Holly managed, blinking back tears that Dec was tenderly wiping away.
“Not yet. She won’t stand up anymore, and I can’t get her heart rate down. I’ve
tried everything I can think of. I’m sorry, Holl, I just don’t think it’ll be much longer. If she starts showing signs of pain, I might need to. . . . I just thought you might want to be here.”
“I do. I’m leaving right now. I’ll be there quick, just don’t do it until I get there unless you really need to, please.”
“I won’t. Love you, Sis, and I’m really sorry.”
“Love you, too.”
Holly ended the call. Her heart, which had been managing a few erratic beats, shattered, and she collapsed on Dec’s shoulders, sobbing.
“Hey, shh, I’ve got you, love. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. Want to tell me what that was all about?”
Holly deeply appreciated the fact that he hadn’t promised it would be okay or that he could fix it. He’d just promised to be there. He should consider becoming a psychologist.
“I’m sorry. I can’t believe I’m crying like this. I hate it when I cry. What is wrong with me?” She tried futilely to erase her own emotions.
“You’re crying because of news from your brother, sweetheart, and tears are a perfectly natural byproduct of emotion. Most of the time, people cry because they’ve simply been too strong for too long. Nothing wrong with tears.”
She nodded against him and attempted several deep breaths. “It’s my favorite horse. Her name is Aurora Belle. She’s the horse I learned to ride on. She’s been sick for a while and Luke says she isn’t gonna be. . .here. . .much longer.” Another racked gasp of tears stole any further words from her lips.
“You don’t have to explain it, baby. How about I take you to see Aurora Belle?”
“No.” Holly knew she could absolutely not deal with Dec on the ranch. Not right now. Her brothers were likely to make his life a living hell as soon as they understood how much Dec meant to her. They’d never been able to stand any guy she’d ever brought home, and all of the ones before hadn’t been heavily-tattooed, pierced musicians who they would instantly hate for not being a cowboy. She hadn’t even managed to verbalize to him how much he meant to her. There would be no exposing him to the ranch for a long, long time.
Right now, she had to process Aurora Belle not being there to greet her when she went out to the paddock anymore. She had to try to understand that one of her beloved horses wasn’t going to be there ever again. “It’s okay. I just need to get there quickly. Can you take me back to my apartment for my truck?”
“Of course. Want some tea first?”
For some unfathomable reason this made Holly smile. “Because you Brits think a cup of tea makes everything better?”
“We don’t think it, love, we know it, and I happen to make a perfect cuppa.”
“I was always disappointed when no one in the Harry Potter movies offered someone a cuppa,” she admitted. “But I’d much rather have a huge cup of American coffee before I head out.”
Chuckling at her, he nodded. “Damn movie houses try to Americanize everything so tickets will sell out here. That’s all that matters. I don’t actually have a coffeemaker. I’ll get one. How about we stop off somewhere and I get you coffee?”
“You don’t have a coffee maker?”
“Sorry, sweetheart. I solemnly swear I will rectify this terrible lapse before you return from home.”
Dec looked panicked, like she might decide to call this whole thing off because he couldn’t provide her coffee.
“Stopping off somewhere would be great, and you don’t have to get a coffee maker just for me.”
“I was hoping you might like to be here often. I’m not above luring you in with coffee, sort of Hansel and Gretel style.”
“And do you promise to eat me like the big bad wolf when I get here?”
“Believe you’re mixing your fairy tales, cowgirl. Little Red Riding Hood was chased by a wolf. Other than that, you get the cape, I’ll be more than happy to play the wolf.”
“Can we go now?”
“Absolutely.”
Chapter Seventeen
“We were supposed to talk today.” Holly slumped in the seat of Dec’s SUV. The constant slam of emotions coming from every side made her feel like the mole portion of a whac-a-mole game. This wasn’t at all how this weekend was supposed to go.
“Let’s save all the big confessions for when you get back.” His jaw tensed and he cast a quick glance her way. Debate furrowed his brow. “Any idea when that will be?”
“I’m going to miss you, too,” she assured him. He wasn’t the only one who could read body language. “I have to be back Monday for. . .the thing we’re not talking about until then. I don’t know how long everything will take. I just want to be there with her. . .you know. . .for the end or whatever. If I can, I’ll be back Sunday night. If not, I won’t leave until Monday morning.”
Dec had laced their fingers together before he’d even cranked the car. He gave her hand a consolatory squeeze. “Mind indulging me in just a little bit about my past? I promise not to get too deep until you get back.”
“I don’t mind at all. I hate we’re not making our confessions now like we planned to. You’re not seeing someone else, are you? ‘Cause I’m having a shitty morning, but I could still take a bitch down.”
Dec’s laughter filled the vehicle. Somehow that sexy baritone chuckle of his wrapped itself around her heart and reassured her that everything was going to be okay, different, but okay. “I’m supremely flattered you’d take down a bitch on my account, sweetheart, and I’m relieved I’m not the only one with a tendency for being possessive. But this is about my past, and I told you last night I haven’t been with anyone since my divorce and that was over a year ago. I’m only seeing you, and I will only see you until you realize what an absolute piece of shit I really am and leave me. My ex cheated on me repeatedly. I could never and would never do that to you. I may be seriously fucked up in other departments, but not there.”
Wow. Holly wasn’t accustomed to him being so forthcoming. Maybe he’d been preparing to tell her everything. She hated this entire thing all the more for preventing their conversation.
“You are not a piece of shit, Dec, and if you say that again I’ll remind you how good I am with a rope.”
Giving her a sly grin, he shook his head. “Never say I didn’t warn you.”
“Thought you were going to tell me about your past.”
“I grew up on a sheep farm in the Southeast. Tiny town called Bexinglee no one’s ever heard of, in Chiltern Hills, or the Chilterns if you should ever find yourself in London and needing to get there. Anyway, I grew up riding horses as well. I had a grey Thoroughbred named Kingston. My dad gave all the horses ridiculously proper names. He fancied himself more than a lowly sheep farmer, which was really all we were. I’d been called a sheep-shagger from the time I learned to walk.
“Anyway, I loved that horse. Kingston got me. He understood that I couldn’t wait to get off that fucking farm. He understood how fast I wanted to fly. When I was seventeen, I got caught nicking smokes from one of our neighbors. My dad was furious. He never liked me much anyway. He sold Kingston to buy. . . well, he sold him as a kind of punishment. I still regret that to this day. Kingston was the first thing that meant something to me that my own foolish decisions affected. I’ll never forgive myself for him being sold off. I do understand how much Aurora-Belle means to you.”
It took Holly several moments to remember how to make her lower jaw connect with her upper. “Wait, are you telling me you were a cowboy? Or a sheep-boy? What do you call them there?”
That smirk that made her heart and her stomach feel like they were exchanging locations formed on his features. “We call them farmers, and you sound more horrified by this than the fact that I’m an addict.”
“I am. I mean, I’m not. I just wasn’t expecting that. I’m sorry about Kingston, though.”
“I’m sorry I disappointed you, darling. I kind of thought that confession might play well for me, seeing as you’re heading back to cattle country.” Genuine confusi
on darkened his grey eyes.
Holly lambasted herself for having no control over her own thoughts or tongue. She wasn’t usually like this. The night before, being in his arms, it had all stripped away her guards. He’d crashed through every barrier, and she hadn’t had time to process any of it. Now, everything that came to her mind sprinted out of her mouth.
“I’m sorry. I’m a disaster this morning. I’m not disappointed, just surprised. I love that you know how to ride. We could ride together sometime.” There, that was an appropriate response, even though her mind was a spinning storm of questions and confusion. She wasn’t supposed to fall in love with a cowboy. She’d sworn she never would.
“I haven’t been on horseback in a few years, but I’d love to ride with you if that’s something you’d like to do. I do have a question. Who named Aurora Belle?”
“My parents. They rescued her when she was a pony from a ranch that wasn’t taking care of her. She’s older than me.”
“So, you know what her name means then?”
“Yes. It means a beautiful second chance, doesn’t it?”
“It does, and it sounds like your family gave her that. I’m not sure anyone, neither man nor beast, could ever ask for more than a beautiful second chance.”
Holly stared at him as he guided the car into her apartment parking lot. There was more weight in that statement than in any of his others. Is that what he saw her as? A beautiful second chance? She hoped so, because she definitely wanted a chance at a real relationship with him. “I want to give this a chance, Dec. I’m really sorry I can’t stay and talk today. I wish I could.”
“I know you do. I can tell. Don’t be sorry. Just maybe call me if you need to talk while you’re gone. Even if you want me just to listen or to sing you to sleep. Nothing would make me happier.”
“I will definitely take you up on that.”