Graphite

by Anne Leigh

  “Hanna banana, I wish you were here with me,” I said to my best friend who was on Facetime.

  She was wearing a Texas U t-shirt paired with red pajama bottoms. With the two-hour time difference between us, my best friend was ready to party in her bed while I was on my way to my first frat party at SDU. At Texas U, we’d been to a couple of frat parties and they weren’t impressive.

  The amount of booze and random hookups weren’t big on my radar. We went because we wanted to have the whole college experience.

  “Kara, you’d be here if it weren’t…”

  “No, no, we’re not going over that again.” I stopped her before she could continue. “I’m moving forward and so should you. I made my choices and I would make them again.”

  Her brown eyes started to fill with regret, “I wish you didn’t have to.”

  Not trusting myself to not break into tears, I said, “Why do you want to ruin my makeup?”

  Her teeny laugh spread across the room. “Are you even wearing any?”

  She was right. I barely wore makeup. I had fun applying it, but the hassle of removing it was too much. When I came home from a party, all I wanted to do was brush my teeth and go to bed. Removing makeup took at least five minutes and that was too much time for me to spare.

  “I am.” Closing my eyes as I faced the screen. “You should be proud of me.”

  She’d taught me the basics of makeup. For tonight’s look, I’d layered my lids with an orange eye shadow that set a strong contrast to my blue eyes thus setting my iris ablaze. Unlike Hanna, who has the sultry look down just by smiling, I had to work on mine. We’d gone through bottles of makeup just to find the right primer for my pale skin. I stayed away from the neutral colors unless I wanted to look like a vampire.

  Hanna’s voice hinted with pride, “I love the colors on you. The eyeshadow makes you look like a siren and the gold contouring really frames your face.”

  I hopped in place, “Yay! Finally, I get a gold star for my efforts.”

  She tsked, “What are you wearing tonight?”

  “I could go for the basic little black dress or I could wear something with color.” I stepped out of the camera screen to go to my closet. Dorm closets weren’t big, but I only brought basic clothes that I could mix and match so it wasn’t a problem. Plus, I was in San Diego where malls were as common as the beach so if I needed to buy clothes, there were lots of places to go.

  “Meh. Black dress for a frat party,” Hanna sounded out her opinion. She loved color and that was another thing I learned from her. As a blonde-haired woman, I used to be scared of color so I stuck with the basic grays and blacks. Hanna showed me how to appreciate the way the different hues worked on my skin.

  “How about this?” I raised a green mini dress in the air where she could see it.

  “It would clash with your eye makeup.” She answered back and I saw her fling a wave of ‘no.’

  I went back to my closet and saw how my options were really limited. Maybe I should’ve gone shopping today, but coming back from two study groups didn’t give me much time to do anything.

  I heard her soft voice, “Do you have anything in the shade of orange… Maybe a tangerine?”

  I yelped, “Yes! Yes, I do.” I brought it with me because I loved the material and I thought the sunny California weather would be the perfect place to wear it. Then I remembered, “It’s backless.”

  I stepped to the right so Hanna could see my expression. “I don’t want to show a lot of skin.”

  “Really?” She said with an epic eye roll. “It’s a frat party. The less clothed you are, the better.”

  “My brother’s gonna be there,” I countered. “He might not appreciate it if he sees his sister showing off her goodies to the world.”

  Hanna hit back, “Since when has Rikko said anything about what you wear, Kiki?”

  “Remember that time I wore the blue dress with a super long side slit?” It was a point of contention with my brother. He had wanted me to change before my prom date arrived. My prom date being Scott.

  “Kiki, you were seventeen,” Hanna contradicted. She was now propped up on two pillows while she was lounging in her Batman-inspired bedsheets. She and I shared the same love for superheroes. Hence my Supergirl pillows and bedcovers. “Plus, Rikko was just getting used to the idea that his sister’s all grown up and she was being escorted by his best friend to prom.”

  I didn’t have any problems showing off my body, but the fact that I didn’t know anyone at the party except for Scott and Rikko made me hesitate.

  “Stop mulling it over. Stop overthinking it. The dress is beautiful.” She was with me when I bought it. “It will look amazing on you.”

  I lifted my head to the side, “It won’t be too much for a frat party?”

  Hanna shook her head, “It will be perfect. You’re going to be beautiful, and Scott won’t be able to take his eyes off of you.”

  “Right,” I mumbled, tasting the raspberry flavored lip gloss on my lips. “Scott.”

  “I’m sensing something in that statement.” I could never lie to her. She was my soul sister. She knew how hard it was for me whenever Scott broke things off because he was busy. She was there, right along with me, to pick up the pieces.

  “He’s a good guy,” I said, my voice leaning towards the defensive. “He’s just always busy.”

  “He’s not the only guy, Kiki.” She liked Scott, but she often said that I shouldn’t be always waiting on him to tell me when our relationship’s on or off. “I’m sure he’s busy… But you also need a guy to put you first. Even just once.”

  “He tries…” My defense sounded weak because football always came first. “I mean he wants to try.”

  “A guy who wants to try is not really trying enough.” Hanna said as she laid her head back on the pillows, “You’ve always waited for him. When are you going to come first, Kara? When are you going to be the number one priority?”

  I couldn’t answer so I deflected to, “I have to get ready, Hanna Banana.”

  She felt the sadness rippling in the air, “I love you, girlfriend and I like Scott. I really do. But I just wish –“

  As much as I didn’t want her to finish it, I said, “You wish for what?”

  “That a guy would come along who completely deserves you.”

  I felt a small tremor inside my chest, “I’m happy with him.”

  “Are you really?” Hanna questioned, “Because from my view, you look like a girl who is trying to be happy with a guy she’s been with her whole life.”

  “He needs me.” I didn’t say it much to Hanna because she knew where I was coming from. “He needs me to be here for him, Han.”

  She was silent for a few seconds, then when her dark eyes met mine she said, “What about when you need him, Kara? Is he there for you?”

  The only answer I could come up with was, “He tries.”

  Clearly sensing the need to keep the heavy discussion for another time, she said in a comforting voice, “Go have fun tonight, Kiki. Be the beautiful person that you are and remember that maybe you also need to take care of yourself before anyone else.”

  “Love you, Hanna.” I nodded as I threw her a kiss.

  Throwing my kiss back at me, she made a shape of a heart with her hands, “Love you too, sister.”

  Sisters.

  That’s what we were.

  We might not have been born from the same family, but she had been there for me through the thickest of thick and the happiest of times.

  And like I said before, If I had to do everything again, I would do it again for her.

  Three times over.

  Bishop

  The party was in full force. The DJ we hired was playing all the great hits and alcohol was flowing through the veins of our guests.

  The newbies were at the door, ensuring that everyone was being safe. Takei was in charge of everyone’s safety and as trash-talking as he was, he took his role very seriously. He had
a scanner that he borrowed from his dad’s security company to ensure that everyone was 21 and over, meaning that holders of fake IDs were thrown out before they could take a sip of booze.

  We didn’t hire strippers, but Rikko was able to get a few girls from the dance team to command the dance floor in their skimpy outfits. The ladies were pretty and had banging bodies, and I caught the redhead and the brunette looking my way a few times.

  Maybe I’d ask for their numbers later.

  I may choose to be alone in my bed at night, but it didn’t mean that I was immune to the flirty glances that girls threw my way.

  A little flirtation here and there never harmed anyone.

  “Dude, this is da bomb!” Ian shouted by my right ear, he was a few drinks away from being completely shitfaced in the morning. “Thanks for inviting us. The girls are fucking pretty!”

  His eyes were on two of the dancers in the middle of the makeshift dancefloor where guys and girls where trading sweat or spit.

  “Dios Mio!” Jose said to my other side. I’d extended the invite to my whole team since our parties weren’t exclusive to frat members only plus my teammates liked to have fun, too. “Where do these ladies go to school because I sure don’t see them in my classes.”

  I shrugged because I had no clue. Rikko had sent the email and text invite to our frat brothers around the area and the neighboring cities. I heard one girl earlier saying she drove three hours from her apartment to get here so obviously she didn’t go to SDU.

  Speaking of classes, I’d tried to talk to the blonde girl in my Quantum class, but it was obvious that she was avoiding me. After our eyes met the day she came to my defense, she’d sat in the front row and she never bothered to look back. If that wasn’t a diss, then I didn’t know how to palm my dick. Which sadly, was what I’d been doing in the shower while imagining her azure eyes watching me do it.

  “Hey, you guys having fun?” It was Rikko asking Ian and Jose.

  “’Course dude, your frat throws the best parties.” Ian smirked while shaking Rikko’s left hand. The football team and rugby team sometimes practiced at the same time, but on different fields so everyone on the two teams pretty much knew each other.

  Plus, we also had the frat tradition where if one of our frat leaders were playing, we showed support by attending their games. Many times, I’d see the football players in my frat on the sidelines watching our game. And I did the same for them, along with two other rugby teammates who were also Tau brothers.

  “Have you seen my sister?” Rikko asked, his eyes on me. Another day, another tight black shirt for this guy. I wondered if his sister wore these tight shirts too. Maybe it ran in the family.

  I shook my head; I didn’t even know what she looked like. “No. It’s not like I’ve been on the watch for her and I have no clue what she looks like.”

  Rikko said, “She’s this tall –“ hovering his hand close to his ear, he was saying something else, but a flash of orange by the entrance caught my attention.

  Her back was towards us and I caught a glimpse of the longest, sexiest legs in a pair of shoes that tied around her ankles.

  Her golden hair was set in soft curls and the curls bounced back from a backless dress that I suddenly felt the itch to peel off her body.

  She was talking to Takei who was clearly checking her out, his head tipping towards her, and she leaned in closer to his ear.

  I was compelled to walk towards her, but first I had to get through a small flight of stairs.

  Rikko was waving at Takei and then, the pair of eyes that have starred in my fantasies looked up towards where we were at.

  “Kiki!” Rikko cupped his hands so she could him and she waved back.

  Wait –

  What?

  Kiki.

  It was the name he called his sister.

  The long-legged vision walked towards us and with each step she took, her eyes wandered to the people around her brother.

  As soon as her eyes met mine, my heart began hammering in my chest. I could run 10-meter forward and backward sprints in record time without causing a significant change in my heart rate. My team had been on the verge of losing many times, but I’d managed to turn it around without breaking a sweat. The last time I found my edge of losing control, I merely took a deep breath in and I regained it back without any problems.

  Now –

  As she closed in on us, her steps faltering once, Rikko’s hand breaking her fall, and I felt a heavy sensation fill me. She reached for her brother and kissed his left cheek.

  Rikko said amid the loud music, “Kiki, oops, I mean Kara, these guys are Ian and Jose, Bishop’s teammates.”

  Her blue eyes locked in on mine, her lips partly halfway, “Bishop?”

  Fuck.

  Shit.

  Fuck.

  Why did the sound of my name on her lips make my dick twitch?

  I flexed my jaw and got ahold of myself, extending my right hand to hers, “I’m Bishop.”

  A small smile indented her face and her blue eyes sparkled in the dim lights, “I’m Kara. Nice to meet you, Bishop.”

  My dick twitched again.

  Fuck you, dick.

  You can’t twitch for your frat brother’s sister.

  A big hand went around her waist, “Kara, I didn’t know you were here already.”

  Scott’s eyes softened while he kissed her forehead.

  “I just got here,” Kara answered, her eyes moving away from mine as she smiled at him.

  “Rikko, the guys need you down there,” Scott said to his best friend and Rikko nudged his sister’s shoulder. “Duty calls. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you in a bit, Kiks.”

  Her hair gleamed in the light and Ian elbowed me, I must have been staring, so I pulled my eyes away from her. From him. From them.

  As soon as Rikko left, Scott moved in front of Kara, his eyes closing as if catching her scent and I felt my hands fold into fists.

  I had to get out of here –

  Out of all the girls I could be attracted to, I wasn’t counting on her to be tied to another.

  She was gorgeous, it was a fact.

  But there were a lot of gorgeous ladies and many of them had thrown themselves at me.

  Takei waved his hand at me and I saw my opportunity to leave this lovey-dovey scene.

  Scott’s eyes were now opened as he said, “Did Rikko introduce you to my brother, Bishop, and his friends, Ian and Jose?”

  Ian and Jose were now busy checking and signaling the girls on the dancefloor so I answered, “Yeah. We met her.”

  Scott nodded his head, “Cool.”

  “I gotta go,” I said, “Takei needs me to clear something for him.” And honestly, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. “Nice to meet you, Kara.”

  Her eyes left Scott’s and as her gaze floated towards me, I felt myself being pulled towards her, it was the strangest feeling.

  She said it softly but my ears heard them loudly and clearly, “You too, Bishop. I’ll see you in Quantum.”

  After handling the mix-up with Takei, I made it a goal to avoid a certain blonde in a sexy dress.

  I talked to a bunch of girls.

  I nursed two beers and I hung around outside.

  I was standing to the side, watching the partygoers slowly fill their designated drivers’ cars when a soft voice crashed into my concentration. “It was a great party.”

  Even in the dark, I could make out the glorious halo that was her hair. “Yeah. Thanks. Rikko knows how to throw great parties.”

  “You do, too,” She said. She was standing with a small purse in her left hand, the straps hanging loosely in the air. “You’re second in command, right?”

  She’d asked about me. “Yeah.”

  “Even the weak force is ten to the twenty fourth power times as strong as gravity.” Her quiet voice permeated the air.

  “Did you just explain hierarchy to me?” I couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t every day that I met a girl wh
o could spout theoretical physics with me on a whim.

  “The fact that you just figured out it’s hierarchy I’m talking about is impressive.” She sounded off, her eyes on the guests leaving. “I just want to say hello again.”

  “Hello.” I tipped my head to the side. I was trying to avoid her and here she was, trying to say hello. And I couldn’t find myself to be rude to her. “Again.”

  “Rikko talks a lot about you…” She started, her body lowering to the concrete bench that I was sitting on. “Every time I call him he says Bishop says this or Bishop does this. I’m glad to finally meet you.”

  I’m not.

  I wish you stayed the girl in my fantasy.

  I wish I didn’t know your name.

  So…

  I wouldn’t know who you belonged to.

  I kept my thoughts to myself.

  Silence speared between us and we sat there, watching people go, Ian and Jose had left an hour ago so most of the people who were leaving were mere acquaintances and some were faces I’d seen for the first time.

  In companionable silence, we laughed as a few guys struggled to get inside the passenger seats.

  I smelled her scent, reminding me of a rich combination of jasmine and raspberries. I’d never liked raspberries, but now, I found myself yearning for them.

  “Rikko’s cool,” I said, not looking at her, pretending that she was just a regular girl who I was having a regular conversation with, “Tau’s lucky to have him as a president.”

  “And you as a VP.” She said it with such force that I had to turn my head to the side to look at her.

  “Why do you keep coming back to that?”

  “Because I think you’re the type of guy who doesn’t give himself much credit.” It sounded like admiration in her voice. “And I don’t like it when people undermine their worth.”

  Whoa.

  I wasn’t undermining my worth. I just didn’t like to broadcast it to the whole world.

  “Scott’s a good guy.” I didn’t know why I threw it out there. Or maybe I did. I was reminding myself who she belonged to.

  A nod from her. “He is.”

  “Okay.” So many unspoken words yet somehow I knew we were speaking on the same level. “Are you cold?”