Graphite

by Anne Leigh

  “I’m good,” I said, twirling the black pen on my right hand. “It was time, Rikko. I had to break it off. He’ll always be my friend but I had to.”

  Rikko’s silence was telling because Rikko was seldom silent.

  “What? Did Scott say something?” I inquired. I was sure that as soon as I met up with him after College Game Day that he would have said something to my brother.

  It’d been six days since I’d seen Scott and said, “I’m sorry, Scotty…I can’t do us anymore. It’s on me this time around and it’s for good.”

  Scott had given me a shocked look at first then he’d asked to hug me.

  In his hug, I felt the years of being together blanket us, but I also felt relief in knowing that I was doing the right thing.

  I hadn’t cried and neither did he. As if he was just waiting for me to drop the ball and call it quits between us.

  That’s how I knew that he and I would cherish the time we had, but we couldn’t be together in that way anymore.

  “He’s hurting, Kiki.” Rikko’s admission confounded me. “He told me that you broke up with him and since then, he’s been really quiet.”

  Scott’s always been quiet.

  “He’s been watching film, but I don’t think he’s really watching it and two nights ago, he asked me if we could go to a bar,” Rikko continued talking, as my heart started feeling heavy.

  “He’ll always be my friend,” I said, staring at the space in the corner of my room that used to house the paraphernalia that Scott had given me while I’d been here – his jerseys and three small bunnies – I’d brought them with me when we met up for coffee because I really wanted a clean break.

  “You know that I’m not the type to mess around with you guys, I’d rather leave you two alone to deal with your stuff but I really think he misses you.”

  What Rikko said was true. I never talked to him about Bishop and I wasn’t going to start now.

  “Rikko, I miss him too, but I can’t be with him anymore. Not in that way. I have school and he has football and he has all of these plans after college that he won’t even share with me. It’s frustrating being the girlfriend who doesn’t know what her boyfriend’s up to. Half the time I have no idea why I’m by his side because as great of a guy as he is, I feel like he doesn’t really need me,” I blurted out. “I’m still trying to come to terms with my decision and I’d really like it if you’d give me the space to be okay with it.”

  “I get it, Kiki. I’m not trying to influence your decision…I just wanted to let you know that he misses you. You know Scott doesn’t drink, especially on game week but the fact that he’s had a hangover in the last two days lets me know that my best friend’s in pain. He hasn’t said much but he did say that he understands why you broke it off with him.” Rikko’s words didn’t relieve the weight on my chest, it did the opposite – it compounded the load I was carrying.

  It took an enormous amount of strength and resolve for me to say goodbye to the future between Scott and I. I may not have cried in front of him, but Hanna had seen me unload buckets of tears.

  “I’ll always be his friend.” It was the best I could offer. “Whenever he needs me, I’ll be here. I’m going to be around. I’ll remind him of his diet and not to push himself so much. I’ll be his conscience when he needs me. I’ll be the shoulder he never has to worry to cry upon.”

  I said everything that I was telling Rikko to Scott.

  There wasn’t an ounce of lie in my words. I’d always be here for him. As a friend.

  “Okay,” Rikko said, he knew that once I made up my mind about something, there wasn’t anything that could convince me to go back on it.

  “Thank you,” I uttered, I may not have been born with great parents, but I was gifted with a great brother.

  “One thing, Kiki,” he said, it was in the voice that he used when he needed a big favor. “Would you come to my game tonight?”

  “Rikko.” If I went to his game, Scott would be there. “I don’t think that’s for the best right now.”

  “Sis, I only have a few games left in my college career. This is one of the last remaining home games that I’ll be playing. I’ll tell Scott that you’re there for me if that’s what’s making you apprehensive.” I thought of the last time I saw my brother play that wasn’t on TV or on the computer. The last time was during a homecoming game in high school. It was when he and Scott connected during the last twenty seconds of the game for a touchdown. They won the game by three points.

  As much as I wanted to steer clear of Scott’s path for now, I knew that in a way it wasn’t going to be an easy feat. Especially since he was so embroiled in my life with Rikko being his best friend.

  But for my brother who didn’t ask for much, I would go. “Okay.”

  “Cool. I’ll have the guys save some seats for you in the front.” The excitement in his voice was hard to box up.

  “Can you save another one for Hanna?” I requested, I may have initiated the breakup but my feelings were still raw. It would help to have the moral support of my best friend.

  “Hanna?” Rikko questioned. “Hanna Banana’s here?”

  It was his nickname for my BFF. Actually, everyone who was close to Hanna called her Hanna Banana for rhyming reasons.

  “Yeah, she’s arriving this afternoon,” I said. “What time’s the game?”

  “Six.”

  “That’s weird. It’s at night?” College football was usually played during the day unless they were the Bowl games.

  “You know we’re Primetime.” My brother’s voice was filled with pride. “It was pre-set by NCAA and College Sports to gain more viewership. I dunno, Coach said it had something to do with cable contracts and shit. I don’t ask questions, I just play.”

  “It’s great that it’s at night so that Hanna will have some time to rest and she can come watch the game with me.” I didn’t really care what time they played, I was just ecstatic that Hanna would be there with me.

  “Okay Kiks, I gotta go meet up with the guys.”

  “Okay.”

  “Love ya, sissy,” he said with ease and comfort.

  “Ya, yeah. You still owe me for not picking me up at LAX.” I wasn’t letting him forget it.

  A light chuckle bounced off the phone, “Fine. You can borrow my car.”

  “Really?” I said with enough enthusiasm to wake up the snoring person who I could hear through the thin walls of the dorm.

  “Yep. Really. Alright, I gotta go,” Rikko said and I hung up the phone.

  Get your football spirit on, I texted Hanna.

  Hanna was quick to reply, Rah rah!

  It was the first time I was attending an SDU football game.

  Wasn’t it ironic?

  I was attending a football game to watch my brother play on a team where the star quarterback had just recently become my ex.

  Bishop

  I heard the knock on my door followed by a loud, “Yo!”

  Game days were crazy days in our Frat House.

  Specifically, home game days.

  The San Diego Continentals were playing against their biggest rival, Miami State University, tonight. It was quite unusual for a college football game to be played at night, especially early on in the season. But with the advent of TV networks commanding the contracts of the Big Ten, colleges had to adjust to the demands of what the networks wanted.

  For me, I liked playing at night because of the cooler temps.

  Grabbing my phone from the top of my desk, I slid it inside the back pocket of my jeans and opened the door, “You driving?”

  Silas muttered, “I guess. Everyone’s already there.”

  One of the advantages of being a Tau senior officer was that I had a parking space reserved for me by the newly-inducted members.

  I could drive but why would I?

  I didn’t want to waste thirty minutes being stalled in the tiny-ass campus streets to head to a football game. I was planning to walk, but Silas
had texted that he wanted to go together.

  It was Tau’s tradition – whenever one of our senior brothers played on home turf, all Tau members showed up to cheer and create noise on the sidelines. Sometimes we created so much noise that the referees wanted to throw us out of the game because they couldn’t hear their own calls.

  I didn’t have a game tonight. Football and rugby home games were seldom scheduled on the same day because the school spirit would be divided.

  It wouldn’t have been the case three years ago since football games garnered the most audience.

  But now, it was hard to tell.

  The stadium was loud and deafening at both sports.

  I knew because while I was on the stands during football games, I was on center stage during rugby games and the crowds had become thicker each year that I’d played.

  Silas had already started jogging down the stairs so I followed.

  Tonight would be a fun game to watch.

  I’d texted Rikko and Scott good luck earlier.

  They had a great team and they needed to play at the highest level in order to beat Miami’s defense.

  By the time we’d parked and gotten inside the stadium, the game was five minutes away from start time.

  “I’d pay to be in Vegas right now.” It was difficult to hear Silas but I managed to make out his words.

  “Why do you wanna bet against our brothers?” I joked, SDU had the top offense and Miami had the top-ranked defense in the NCAA.

  “Yeah!” He said, pumping his fists up in the air.

  I laughed because while he could legally bet there, I doubted he would bet against SDU.

  “You want anything?” He asked as we started walking towards the front row bleachers. Five rows were reserved for Tau and from what I could tell all the seats were taken already.

  Like my parking space, my seats were also reserved.

  It was one of the perks of being Tau’s VP.

  I could sit wherever I wanted, but I also wanted to uphold the long-standing tradition that as the highest ranking officer, I had to be in the front row, along with the other officers who weren’t playing in the football game.

  When I played on home turf, Scott and Rikko usually stood by the sidelines, heading the pack.

  I proceeded to walk towards the front row before the game started, and as two of the newbies asked me if they could get me anything, I shook my head. I just wanted to watch a good game.

  I said hi to a couple of my frat brothers and looked towards the field. The jumbotron panned over to the SDU players and I saw the serious looks on Rikko and Scott’s faces. As an athlete, I could relate to how they felt.

  Big matchups like these could have the butterflies float around in your stomach, but they were also the ones that pumped you up and gave you the determination to win.

  Cody, a sophomore and a Tau inductee, asked to my right, “Is it okay if you share the seats with two other guests?”

  It was an odd question. Only frat brothers sat in the front row. Him being on his second year meant that he knew this.

  I shrugged, “What’s going on?”

  Cody looked guilty, “It’s just that Rikko asked me to save two seats for his sister and her friend and I forgot.”

  Forgetting meant a punishment.

  Forgetting to fulfill a request from the president meant doing dirty dishes for a month or cleaning the first floor bathrooms and anyone with good sense didn’t want those duties.

  I couldn’t let him off the hook easily, but Cody was a good kid.

  He delivered what was asked of him on time and he never created trouble.

  Plus, it would mean that Kara would be sitting by me.

  I wasn’t sure how she would feel about it in a few minutes but all thoughts were forgotten as I saw her golden hair heading towards me.

  She was wearing an SDU Football jersey, the simple black and green shirt highlighting the curves on her body and the short shorts she was wearing emphasized just how long her legs were.

  Cody was still waiting for my answer so I said, “It’s fine. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

  He muttered a thank you so much and left.

  Kara’s companion was a tiny black girl who was laughing alongside her.

  From their body language, I could tell they were close.

  Kara’s head moved back and forth, as if looking for her seat. With the way the bodies were packed inside the stadium, Rikko had excellent foresight reserving a seat for his sister.

  I could tell when she spotted me because her shoulders became stiff and her eyes glazed over in uncertainty. We hadn’t really talked much lately. And when she texted, it was about Quantum.

  Her companion nudged Kara’s shoulders making Kara step forward.

  My eyes weren’t the only eyes on her as I saw my frat brothers checking her out. Some of them weren’t at the party where she was introduced as Scott’s girlfriend and even if she were, it didn’t deter them from giving her their googly eyes.

  Hers wasn’t a beauty that could be disguised.

  Even in the simplest clothes, she stood out.

  And so did my dick.

  I signaled to her, pointing to the empty seats beside me. Silas had gone to grab some grub and he’d still have room to sit when he came back.

  “Hi.” Kara’s blue eyes scanned over me, “I didn’t know that you’d be here today.”

  She was now standing a few inches away from me and from where I was, I could smell the refreshing citrusy smell that always emanated from her.

  I didn’t know I was partial to lemons and oranges. Until now.

  I smiled and gestured with my hand, pointing to the hundreds of SDU Continentals’ banners and signs that were all around us, “Here to show team spirit.”

  The tiny lady beside her reached her hand out, “I’m Hanna.”

  To which Kara said, “Ohmigosh, I’m sorry. I’m being rude. This is Hanna, my best friend. She’s visiting from Texas for a few days.”

  Hanna’s face lit up when she smiled, “Nice to meet you –“

  I reached for her hand and said, “Bishop.”

  Hanna’s eyes widened but quickly recovered, “Nice to meet you, Bishop. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  “Really?” I asked, but before she could answer, I saw Kara’s right hand clamp on to Hanna’s left and the two ladies exchanged a look.

  “LET’S GO San Diego!!!” SDU’s cheer squad was front and center as they tried to make the players and fans get energized for the game.

  Kara’s head turned to the field, she waved, and I saw Rikko return her wave. Scott was busy talking to his coach so I didn’t see him acknowledge his girlfriend’s presence.

  “Heeeyyyy…..” Silas was now back, carrying three large buckets of popcorn and bottled water. He probably had a new recruit pay for all his food.

  He introduced himself to Kara and Hanna and before he could sit between me and Hanna, I motioned him to stay put. Right where he was. Meaning, sit beside Hanna.

  SDU’s crowd got louder and the visiting fans tried to match the home team’s spirit but to no avail.

  SDU was receiving first and as the Miami defense set up on the field, my frat team brothers started removing their shirts.

  Kara whispered loudly, “What’s going on? What’s happening? Why’s everyone here getting naked?”

  Silas answered for the both of us. “It’s Tau’s tradition. When we watch our frat brothers play, we show them respect by taking our clothes off.”

  Kara covered her mouth and Hanna pointed as Silas, whose brown eyes winked at the dark-skinned beauty, “Does that include you, too?”

  Silas took his white shirt off and tossed it to the side. “Oh yeah.”

  Hanna giggled and Silas laughed. Kara, whose left hand was still covering her mouth, shook her head in disbelief.

  Hanna pointed at me, “How about you?”

  I pulled on the hem of my green shirt and shucked it. “Yeah. Me too.”
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  I’d done this a couple of times and being naked, or half-naked, wasn’t a big deal. But now, even with my shirt off, I felt a thousand degrees hotter. Largely because of the girl I’d been fantasizing about that was sitting next to me.

  “Oh my.” It was Kara, her face was completely red and to me, she’d never looked more beautiful. “Bish-Ah. Umm. Wha --. WOW. I mean, why?”

  “Dayyyyummm girl!” Hanna said, whisper-shouting, “No wonder you can’t stop thinking about him.”

  “Shhh…Hanna!” Kara admonished, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

  “Defense! Defense!” The crowd behind us was yelling in unison.

  I looked at the big clock inside the stadium, it’d only been two minutes but it felt like an hour to me from the way my body was burning up inside.

  It wasn’t right for me to hold these thoughts and feelings for her.

  She was here for Scott.

  I had to change seats.

  I couldn’t stay like this, in this close proximity with her, throughout the whole game.

  Just as I was about to type a text for Cody to make up an excuse for me to go up in the back area, Kara moved on my side. Her legs touched my jeans and her arm grazed mine, the skin that was burning a thousand degrees earlier?

  It was now ready to melt.

  Shit.

  Why was fate so cruel?

  Why couldn’t I have been attracted to a someone who wasn’t chained to another?

  “Excuse me, Bishop… Can you let me by? I need to use the restroom.” Her voice was louder than what I was accustomed to hearing from her. She held a determined inflection and I felt the raging battle in her eyes, as if she wanted to look at my chest but at the same time, she didn’t want to.

  I stood up to give her space and as she walked past me, I asked, “You need help? The restroom is on the other side. I can walk with you.”

  Her head shook adamantly, “No, no. I’ve been there before. It’s cool.”

  I nodded, but texted Cody to make sure Kara was okay on her way to the ladies’ room.

  Cody quickly responded with a thumbs-up and I trusted that he was going to follow her. You never know nowadays, the weirdos that lurked around and preyed on women.