Feeling like myself again I had recovered with Lauren’s help. Lauren had given me something to drink to revive me. “You can’t have an anemic baby now can you? Especially one that’s heir to the Vesper throne,” he said to me as I drank down his green concoction.
“He isn’t heir to anything,” I said my loud high voice showing my anger. “My child can never be an heir to that cursed Vesper line,” I warned Lauren.
“That’s the way Sebastian wanted it,” Lauren continued.
“Sebastian is out of my life. He has married and I will never see him again.” After saying those words it finally sunk in that this part of my life was over and another part was beginning especially since I saw Ryan show up at the door after what I put him through.
Deep down inside I became excited and anxious to see Ryan. I had been lonely and felling not myself. I had been sickened not by weakness from the feeding, but by Samantha’s hard words about who Sebastian truly was, and I had to face it. He was a vampire and not love or me, could change his nature. A nature that is brutal and without feelings.
When I opened the door, I looked at Ryan’s smiling face. I just stared at Ryan as he stepped in. Then a pain shot through my stomach, and I grabbed it with both hands. My back ached, and I felt as if I was being eaten from the inside out. My forehead furrowed and I gasp and grabbed on to Ryan and he caught me before I fell.
“What’s wrong, Zoey? You look pale. You need to eat.”
“I think I could use a big breakfast.”
“Would you like something to eat? I was just going into the kitchen to cook. Ann and I take turns cooking breakfast. Today is my day, but I haven’t been feeling well lately.” We walked along as I explained how much I appreciated him. I stopped before we entered the kitchen. “I want to apologize for what I did to you. I should have told you what you were up against.”
“You didn’t know,” Ryan said his voice easy and low trying his best to give me an excuse. But I did know what I was doing and it was out of selfishness. I used him and pulled him into this chamber of horrors.
He had a quiet life. We all had a quiet life until I came across Sebastian. I needed to blame someone and who better than Sebastian. My feeling about him began to waver as I came to my senses. First I loved him and now I hate him, and I hoped I had never met him.
It became clear that if Sebastian hadn’t been this love sick fiend who wanted to please Samantha, I would never have met him. And to blame it on his father and make me believe that lie was beyond the pale, and I don’t know if I could ever forgive him. But then why am I thinking about Sebastian when I have Ryan here with me. It’s useless to hope for something I will never have. There is one thing I do know and that is Ryan is a living breathing human and he’s in love with me. I can tell.
The first thing I needed to do was apologize to Ryan and ask his forgiveness and I wished he would let me do so.
“But I did know what I had done to you, and there is no way for you to cover my insensitive behavior. I take full blame because you could have been killed.”
“I’m not that easy to kill. And I carry my silver bullets...” He patted his coat jacket pocket. Ann showed up at a bad time. Just when Ryan was pulling out his bullets.
“Why are you carrying silver bullets?” she said. Her voice rising. “You know Robbie can be killed by a silver bullet, and he wouldn’t appreciate you saying or doing such things in front of him.” She glared at Ryan and then looked to me. “I was just going to get you, Zoey. I made your favorite. Banana pancakes. Would you like some, Ryan?” Ann always had a ready smile even when she was clearly angry.
“No thank you, but I would like a cup of coffee, black,” Ryan said. We walked into the kitchen and sat at the counter isle. Ryan sitting in front of me as Ann handed him his coffee and placed a large plate of pancakes down with bacon on the side she had taken out of the warmer. I couldn’t wait to start eating.
“You know it was my time to cook.”
“I know but you were out of it and pregnancy agrees with me. I never got sick and I have more energy than I know what to do with.” At that time I wished I were her. It would have been heaven if I wasn’t sick every hour.
Ryan watched at me as I devoured the pancakes and asked for more. When Ann stood to cook more he said, “I saw a weird looking creature outside it looked like some kind of cat only bigger than the ordinary domesticated cat.”
With my mouth full of bacon, I said, “Oh that’s not a cat. Well, it’s a cat but it’s more of a mountain lion. He’s still a baby,” I said chewing.
“I thought it looked strange. Well I don’t want to see it when it’s full grown.” He sipped his coffee and placed it down. “It glared at me when I passed by. I could swore it knew what I was thinking.”
“Animals sense things. Maybe it was afraid of you,” Ann said dropping batter into her skillet.
“I don’t think so. If I may say, I think it’s like Robbie,” Ryan said taking a sip of his coffee.
“What do you mean like Robbie?” I asked him. Ann never turned around.
“Robbie is a shifter. I think he’s a shifter, too. But he’s very young and maybe he doesn’t know he’s a shifter,” Ryan said.
Ann looked up. “How would you know about that?”
“I’ve studied this unbelievable occurrences reported all over Seattle, and some of the nearby states, where you have humans who appear to be humans, but are something else entirely. I spent my life trying to prove this and now I can’t tell everyone that shifters, vampires, were-animals, and witches exist. The men and women in my squad room thought I had a few screws missing for a long time. You don’t know how I was laughed at about my theories.”
“I can imagine. I thought I had lost my mind too,” I said.
Ann stood in front of me with another plate of pancakes and placed it down on the counter and stared at me. “You know you can never say anything about that,” Ann said with a serious tone as she turned to Ryan.
“I’ve spent my life trying to prove to the world that these mutants exist and now you’re telling me that I can’t. I think I got that message from Robbie last night. You don’t have to worry about me talking.”
“Think about it, Ryan. Some of these beings are innocent, but the world will look at them as aliens invading the human race, and they will hunt them and kill them. Do we need that kind of world where everyone sees their neighbors as a shifter or vampire?” I said to him. “Then turn them in to be killed?”
“Yeah, but some of those creatures are dangerous. Like that vampire Sebastian and that witch.” I glared at Ryan. I wasn’t yet convinced that Sebastian was dangerous as Ryan thought, but I understood why he thought that way.
“I know they are but would you destroy everyone just to get rid of those two?” Ann said.
“No one is getting rid of Sebastian,” I said to Ryan.
“You are connected to him and you can’t see what’s happening to you,” Ryan said as he drank the last bit of his coffee and stood and moved to the coffee maker and poured another cup. “I’m pregnant or have you forgotten and I’m having one of those beings. What would you have me do, kill him in the womb?” I asked as Robbie came strolling into the kitchen.
“Who’s talking about killing something in the womb?” He looked to Ryan. Ryan raised his hand and with the other he stood back clutching his mug of coffee.
“We were just having a philosophical talk about what happened in New York,” Ann said rubbing Robbie’s arm. “How was your hunt?”
“It went okay, but I swear I had more deer than I saw out there. I try to keep the herd full and kill only what I need at that time, but I swear something is killing off my young deer.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Ryan seems to think that the mountain lion Terry brought back is a shifter.” Robbie looked to Ryan and he shook his head in agreement.
“Now that makes sense. Leave it to Terry to find a shifter when she goes to rescue something. I’ll take a
look because if that’s true then she took it from his mother before the mother had time to bond and nurture it. I may need to help it along,” Robbie said turning and walking out and leaving us standing without a word between us.
Chapter Seven-Zoey
After a quiet moment, Ryan stared at me with his curious eyes and said, “What are you going to do now that you’re pregnant? Do you have any plans? He paused his eyes locked on mine. I bit my nails. “You know nobody but me will understand that you’re pregnant with a vampire’s child. They will think you’re making that up if you even try to explain that to someone, and when they find out your background, they’ll think it was your kidnapping as a child that has you disturbed.”
I turned my eyes from him. I knew he was right but I didn’t want to hear it. There must be more than one other person I could confide in? I held on to that notion but it didn’t last.
“How will you tell your child what he is?” He placed his gentle hand to my face and I turned to look at him. “You will need a home, and you will need a husband, and you will need a father for your child. One that will understand your peculiar circumstances. I’m willing to be all that to you.”
“I hadn’t thought that out. But I can’t ask you to sacrifice your life and self for me,” I said.
“It’s not a sacrifice if you’re doing it for love. You don’t have to give me your answer now. Take your time. Come away with me and think about what I proposed.”
“I do need to get away from here. I have to have time to think but it’s unfair to you to bring my troubles to you and Robbie and Ann, especially since they’re starting their family.” Ryan placed his hand over mine when I reached for a glass of milk.
“Come to my family’s vacation home? I have nothing but time.” He looked at me with his bright eyes. “Sebastian did say for me to take care of you.”
“If I remember correctly, Sebastian said for Terry and Lauren to take care of me.”
“I remember him handing your hand to me and he said take care of her, and he said marry Zoey. What could be better than getting the father’s permission?” Ryan said.
“Getting the mother’s permission. I’m not going to marry anyone for the sake of marriage and because I’m pregnant. I have a say in the matter. He can’t hand me over to whomever he chooses.”
“But I can take care of you, I want you to marry me,” Ryan insisted. His tone easy not over bearing. “I can make you my life’s work. I want to protect you and your baby from that witch who is bent on destroying you. Can’t you see if you marry me then she will have no reason to care? She has what she wants and that’s Sebastian. That’s all she cares about.” Those were my thoughts.
I considered Ryan’s offer and listened to his easy manner and thoughtful words, and I said, “I would need more time to think about what you proposed. If I were to marry you, it would have to be in name only. I’m not ready to fall in love with anyone, and I don’t want to give you any false hopes.” I hesitated because my words sounded harsh. Who did I think I was to bargain? I needed Ryan more than he needed me.
“I don’t want to do this to you,” I said to him. He touched my hand again as he looked at me capturing my gaze.
“You aren’t doing anything to me that I don’t want done. I’ve loved you a life time and I want to take care of you,” Ryan said. His voice drifting. His eyes watching me studying all parts of me. His words breaking through my uncertainties.
“But don’t you have a woman?” I questioned.
“There have been many women, but I never felt the same about them as I feel about you. Don’t ask me what it is. I don’t know. You can’t measure love. When I saw you all grown up I knew you were what I wanted.”
“But how could you want me knowing I might never love you?”
“Never is a long time,” He shot me a smile. “Never is a word that should never be used between men and women.” I smiled back and gave him a closed smile conceding that he may be right.
“What do you say?” He glanced at me with his perfect smile and perfect face, and sincere gaze which found a path to my heart. “Will you come and spend time with me and let me take care of you? We can go to my family’s island with a home near the ocean. Just you and I on that island and no one and nothing will be able to get to us. You can have your baby and I can take care of you. It will just be me and you.”
The idea seemed fanciful. And maybe too good to be real. If he wasn’t convincing he certainly was convincing.
“What about Terry and Lauren? They will be upset if we don’t include them. You know vampires can be handy if...”
“If you’re looking to die,” he said. I didn’t think Ryan had yet grasped that my life had been surrounded by these beings. They would be my only friends. I couldn’t have any human contacts but for Ryan. Just the thought made me realize that I should take Ryan on his offer.
“I’ll think about it and I’ll let you know soon. I need to speak to Terry and Lauren first and that won’t be until later tonight.”
I walked Ryan to the door. He appeared to accept my conditions. He held my hand. “You’re so warm. I could call a doctor I know, he’s a friend and he can keep a secret. Only if Robbie doesn’t mind.”
“Robbie would be pissed if I were to bring another stranger into his compound. I don’t think he can take any more company, and I feel fine. My temperature always runs a few degrees higher than most people.” He looked at me and gave me a faint smile and held on to my hand until I gradually pulled it away. “You should go now. Robbie will be coming home soon.”
I stepped outside with Ryan and waved at him as he drove off in his Ford SUV. For some reason I thought he would drive one of those European cars. An Audi or a Range Rover like Sebastian.
I looked around only seeing shrubbery and trees. It was the first time since I had been with Robbie and Ann that I saw someone tending to the lawn, but with all the rain, the trees and grass had gotten out of control. The place looked like a house surrounded by a forest. And in fact it was. Then I saw that baby bobcat scurry and dodge through the bushes in chase of a bird. I thought nothing of it then, but I did feel sorry for that poor bird.
My thoughts fell on Sebastian because it was a rainy dark day. The kind of day he cherished because he could walk and be with me during the day hours. The kind of day that would bring him out to look for me, but I guess he was too preoccupied on his honeymoon to even bother with a little pregnant woman whose life began and ended with him.
Closing the door and turning around I looked to see Ann. She walked to me and held out her hand. “Come sit with me in the garden. The beautiful flowers will make you feel better.” And so I followed her to the greenhouse. She had made her the perfect place to relax among an array of colorful flowers. And it was warm. Too warm for me.
We sat and for a moment there was a convenient silence and then Ann said, “You look unhappy, Zoey. What is it?”
“Do you have to ask? It’s Sebastian. I’m conflicted, and Ryan wants to take me away to an island and take care of me. He said he wants to protect me from Samantha, but I know it has something to do with Sebastian. His plans are to prevent Sebastian from finding me.”
“No one could stop Sebastian from finding you if he wanted.”
“I know, but I don’t know what to think about Sebastian. He practically handed me over to Ryan. He should never have done that,” I said with the intensity of my voice signaling my hurt and anger.
“If Ryan turns out to be a man who can take care of you and protect you and your child, why wouldn’t you want to be with him? Sebastian got you into this and he abandoned you,” Ann said showing her concern.
“I never did tell you that the best thing that happened to me was meeting Robbie. And I didn’t tell you that I was pregnant with a child with my first husband. He was so abusive that I lost that child after he beat me one day. I had just met Robbie, and he asked me to leave that man, but I wouldn’t because the child was human and it wasn’t Robbie’s.”<
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Ann looked away not before I saw the hurt that flashed in her eyes. “That was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have left with Robbie when he asked me and my baby would have been alive.” She closed her eyes, lowered her head, inhaled and exhaled as if trying to capture a lost moment. Then she opened them and shot me a ready smile.
My situation wasn’t like Ann’s, but I could empathize with her and I could understand what she was trying to tell me. Don’t hold on to something that’s not good for you especially if it will affect your life in such a negative profound way.
But Sebastian was good. He had a soul even if he didn’t recognize it. I did and I had to hold on to him for as long as I could.
“You were there Ann. He had no choice. I still have hopes that he will be able to right the wrong he has done to me and himself.” I couldn’t believe that I had turned on her so quickly. I must have done the same thing to Ryan without realizing it.
“It’s not about him. It’s about you and your child,” Ann reminded me.
“I know that only too well, but there can be no me without him. I need him to live.”
“Time will erase those feelings. All you need to think about is yourself and that little being you’re carrying. Are you feeling well?” I exhaled. I was happy she changed the subject because Sebastian wasn’t everybody’s favorite topic. Talking about him would only cause more wounds to open for me and Ann.
“I feel great except for the morning sickness and that constant hunger. Like now. I want a bloody steak.”
“Fancy you should say that because I was planning on cooking you and me a steak for lunch.” She glanced at her clock on the wall. “We can eat early. I’m feeling hungry myself.” She stood and I stood with her, and we found ourselves in the kitchen once more eating for two, but in Ann’s case eating for four or five.
Chapter Eight-Sebastian
We had been married a full week and we knew that it was a marriage of convenience. It sounds strange coming from me—a vampire. How could a vampire and a witch find common ground or anything in common? She wanted what she couldn’t have from me before, my obedience and my attention and lastly my love.
The Soul of a Vampire #3 Page 4