by Tyler, Anne
I’ll shut up now, I promise. I just wanted to say that I’m worried about you and I hope you’ll think about this carefully. Everyone makes mistakes. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if you called it off.
Never forget how much I love you, even when you are driving me up the wall.
Anna xxx
Anna had come back to the Valley not long after to see Carrie, but Bett hadn’t mentioned the letter or her doubts to her again. There’d been so much fuss about Carrie’s return that it had been easy to avoid the subject. Bett had loved the novelty of having a boyfriend to show to Carrie. She’d enjoyed the feeling of going to the pub with them that first night, watching as Carrie jokingly road tested him for her, patting him down. She hadn’t minded at all when the two of them often became the three of them, Carrie joining them for dinner, drinks in the pub. When Carrie was around, Matthew seemed to have lots more to talk about. It had been easier to have the three of them. There were none of the long silences there had often been between her and Matthew. Carrie bubbled into the space, brought out a different side of Matthew. They had kept finding things in common—music, antiques shopping, even clothes shopping. It was Bett who had suggested Carrie go to the agricultural college with Matthew and sit in on some lectures, when she’d seemed so interested in his vet stories. Bett had a clear memory of that day. “Matthew and Carrie should be together, not Matthew and me.” She had actually thought that.
She stopped walking, alone on the path, the early-morning air crisp around her, cool against her skin. Her memory jumped to the night Matthew had told her about Carrie. He had called her at the office, his voice sounding strange, asking if he could meet her after work. He said he had something very important he needed to tell her.…
Fury, hurt, and anger had propelled her through the next few months. Then the ticket overseas had turned out to be a lifeline. A chance to start afresh, leave the mess that was her life in the Clare Valley, her relationship with her sisters, far behind her.
It had been frightening, but it had been a chance to be herself, to stop measuring herself against Anna and Carrie. Except she hadn’t been able to leave them behind, had she? All the memories had come with her.
And they were still there.
Chapter Twenty-three
Several days later, out at the farmhouse, Carrie pointed the remote control at the TV and turned down the volume. Lola had insisted she take the night off from the motel. “You’ve been working too hard, darling. Have a break. Prepare yourself for the musical, with lots of relaxing, lots of good food, lots of snuggling up to Matthew.”
Some chance of that. She was too stressed to relax, there was no food in the house, and the only snuggling she’d been doing was with the sofa cushions. She’d spent all afternoon watching imported American confrontational chat shows on TV. It was so much easier for Americans, Carrie thought. They were so good at that “come on TV and let it all hang out” approach. She didn’t think her own Irish-Australian heritage stretched to the same candidness. The program credits came up, with a contact number if you needed a family matter sorted out. Would the producer’s budget stretch to flying the entire Quinlan family over to America? she wondered. They could start small and work their way up, she supposed. Just fly her and Matthew over for a start.
If only it were that easy. What would the producers do? Make them talk about their true feelings? Insist they were honest? Carrie could almost hear herself telling Matthew how sorry she was for all the fighting. How much she missed him. How she wanted to give it another go.
She sat upright.
She did. That was exactly how she felt. But what would Matthew say if she told him all that? If she asked him to come home again?
She realized there was only one way to find out.
Anna ran her hands down Richard’s body, stretching herself so she was full length against him, skin against skin. He smiled into her eyes, leaned forward, kissed her on the lips again. There was just a white cotton sheet covering them, the one lamp throwing a soft light into the room. There had barely been time to draw the curtains when she had come to his room that evening before they had undressed each other and started kissing for a very long time. Luxurious, gentle lovemaking had given way to more conversation, whispered confidences, shy offerings of what they thought of each other, which had led to more lovemaking.
Anna felt wrapped in warmth, in compliments, in his admiration. She loved the touch of his fingers on her body, his lips on hers, the sound of his voice telling her stories, asking her questions, showing interest in her like she hadn’t felt in years. She’d felt the same intense curiosity about him, wanting to hear all about him as well. She had never had this with Glenn, simple lying under the sheet together, talking, their bodies entangled, the memory of lovemaking fresh on their skin and in their minds, the promise of more to come in the stroking of fingers on bodies, the look in each other’s eyes. She felt reckless, like a naughty teenager again, staying out late, comforted by the thought of Ellen safe with Lola.
He had just told her some of the conversation from his dinner with Bett several nights before. She was struck equally by his gentleness and his curiosity, as if he was trying to understand her, and her sisters, and the feud between them.
“I can understand why Carrie and Bett might have fought, but why did you and Bett fight about it all?”
“Oh, not just me and Bett. Me and Carrie, too.” She smiled. “We were never a family to do things by halves. I fought with her straight after I’d fought with Bett, actually.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You really want to hear?”
“I do. I love hearing you talk.”
Anna had been in Clare on a quick weekend visit, while Glenn had taken Ellen to visit his parents in Queensland. She was in her room when Bett burst in, wild-eyed, her mop of curls more unruly than usual. She spilled out the story in moments, before Anna sat her down and made her go through it again, slowly and in detail.
Bett took a deep breath. “Matthew had some news, he told me. Something urgent he needed to talk to me about. So we met here, in the bar. I thought it would be about a job move or something about work, but no …” A pause, as Anna could see Bett was trying not to lose control. “No, he said he needed to call off our wedding.” Bett told Anna that she had scarcely mouthed the word “Why?” before Matthew had delivered the answer. “He said: ‘Because I’ve fallen in love with Carrie.’ ”
And then into the bar walked Carrie. A glance between her and Matthew, Bett said, and she had known. Carrie felt the same way about Matthew.
“You should have seen them, Anna. The two of them sitting there, holding hands, telling me how hard it was for them, for them, but that they’d thought it best if they broke the news to me together.”
Anna winced. “They were holding hands in front of you? Being that open about it? So they’ve been lovers? Already?”
“I don’t know. They must have been. Of course they have.” Bett was very distressed. “Carrie kept going on about how they had tried to fight it, but it had been too strong, too passionate, between them to ignore.”
“I can’t believe Carrie would do this. And what is Matthew playing at? Creeping from your bed to Carrie’s? What has he got, some kind of sister fetish?”
Bett shifted uncomfortably. “Matthew and I … hadn’t actually been … well, not for a while.”
“Since before Carrie got back or after?”
“Before. I don’t know, between everything, all the wedding plans, and my work and his work, there hadn’t been time.”
Hadn’t been time? Anna was puzzled. Wasn’t sex something you made time for—especially when you were in the first flush of love? “Bett, things really hadn’t been okay with you and Matthew before this, had they?”
“Of course they had,” Bett said quickly. “Things were perfectly fine, until this. That’s why I just can’t believe it.”
Anna frowned. “Really? You don’t remember calling me about Matt
hew, saying that you were worried you weren’t suited? That you didn’t think he had enough get-up-and-go in him?”
“I didn’t think he’d get up and go to my sister, though, did I?” For a moment they both nearly started to laugh, then Bett started pacing the room again. “I can’t believe it.”
“Bettsie.” Anna used the pet name. “Come on. Remember our phone call? The letter I wrote that you never acknowledged? You know you weren’t feeling sure about Matthew. You told me as much. Maybe this was the chance to have told him. To bring it all into the open.”
There was no answer.
“Oh, Bett, please.” Anna gave a quick laugh. “Don’t deny it. You must be the only journalist in the world who makes a habit of changing the facts to suit yourself.”
“You’re one to talk. You’re hardly broadcasting from the Palace of Truth yourself.”
Anna abruptly stopped laughing. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“Forget it.”
“Bett …”
Bett lifted her chin. “You and Glenn.”
“What about me and Glenn?”
“Why do you stick with him? Are you happy together? Do you really love him? Does he love you? Or is it because of Ellen? Or your social standing?”
“Don’t do this. Don’t try to change the subject.”
“I’m not changing the subject. I’m saying that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”
“And sisters who come seeking help shouldn’t turn into complete and utter bitches.”
“Bitch? Excuse me? I have been completely humiliated and you turn on me.” She stood up, her eyes blazing. “Fine. Brilliant. Off you go to Carrie, then. Tell her how delighted you are. Tell her what a wonderful success she has made of her life. The two of you again, Miss Perfect and Miss Even More Bloody Perfect. No need to worry about me cluttering up your perfect space again. Just as you’ve always wanted it.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Bett gave a rough laugh. “It’s the same old story again, isn’t it? You and Carrie together, doing it properly, like you always said. Not making a mess of things, not spoiling the look—that’s how you both put it, isn’t it?”
“For God’s sake, that was years ago, we shouldn’t have said—”
“Yes, you should have. If you’ve both always thought that I lowered the tone, ruined the perfect picture, then of course you should have said it. Let’s bring everything out into the open, shall we? Carrie’s done it again tonight. You both did it years ago, so it’s my turn now.”
“Bett, calm down.”
Her eyes were glittering. “No, I won’t. Enjoying life up there in the ivory tower, are you, Anna? Good. Great. You’re welcome to it, though I’m sure Carrie and Matthew will enjoy popping in for a visit now and again, if they pass muster, don’t spoil your decor.”
Anna only just held her temper in check. “Stop it, Bett. You’re upset. You’re not seeing things clearly.”
“Oh I am, Anna. I’m seeing things more clearly than I have ever seen them before. What was it you and Carrie said to me that day? That I spoiled the look? Well, not anymore. I should thank Carrie and Matthew. They’ve given me the exit I always wanted. Good-bye, Anna. I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure being your sister, but quite frankly it hasn’t.”
Anna was now furious herself. “Taken an overdose of your melodramatic pills, have you? Calm down, for God’s sake. I told you I’m on your side.”
“You are not. You never have been. It’s only ever been about you. We saw through it, though, you know that. No one likes Glenn. I mean, all right, marry for money if you have to, but couldn’t you have picked someone who was a little more like a human being?”
“That’s enough.”
“Good thing Ellen is so pretty, I suppose, though God help the poor girl if she ever puts on a gram of excess weight. I can see it, you’ll have her down at the Kiddie Gym, in at the beauty parlor, applying layers and layers of fakeness. Like mummy, like daughter.”
“You bitch, Bett.” Her own fury rose like a geyser. “I wanted to help, but you’re beyond it. Forget it. Go. Good riddance. You’re on your own now.”
Bett stared at her coldly. “Maybe I have been for years, Anna.” She walked out, slamming the door behind her.
Anna barely had time to catch her breath when the phone on the bedside cabinet rang. It was Carrie.
“Annie?” She only called her Annie when she was upset. “I need to talk to you. Are you alone?”
Anna noticed then that her hands were shaking. “Yes. Bett’s just left me.”
“Can we talk to you? Will you come to my room?”
So “they” had become “we” already. A united team. Quelling her angry feelings toward Bett, trying to be calm—someone had to be the voice of reason in this situation, surely—Anna went straight to Carrie’s room. Inside, Carrie and Matthew were sitting side by side on the bed. Carrie was crying. Beside her Matthew had his arm around her shoulder, awkwardly stroking her, looking embarrassed, stopping, then stroking again. Anna found it very distracting.
“So it’s true,” she said, looking at them both.
Two nods, Matthew a little shamefaced, Carrie more defiant. “Is Bett okay?”
Anna gave an almost laugh. “Okay? Well, no, I wouldn’t say she’s okay.”
“We couldn’t help it, could we, Matthew? It just happened.”
Anna looked from one to the other. “And you’re sure?”
Matthew nodded.
Carrie looked at him and nodded, too. “We are. Hurting Bett was the last thing, the very last thing, I ever wanted to do. She’s my sister, but this became bigger than both of us. As if all the choice was taken from us.”
Between Bett’s histrionics and now Carrie’s mea culpa act, Anna had suddenly had enough. “All right, Carrie. You don’t have to lay it on too thick.”
The crying stopped. “What do you mean by that?”
Anna put it to her straight. “You know you and Bett have circled each other for years. I’m not saying you deliberately made Matthew fall in love with you, but be honest with me if not with yourself. At the start was there not a bit of playing with fire, flirting, to annoy Bett?”
“Are you saying I deliberately made this happen?”
“Subconsciously, maybe. I don’t think you thought it would come to this though, no.”
Carrie’s lower lip was quivering. “Yes, you are. That’s exactly what you’re saying. That I made this happen to hurt Bett.”
Anna laughed. She couldn’t help herself. Carrie looked like a sulking five-year-old. How could she have a proper fight with her sisters when the pair of them carried on like this?
Carrie turned stony-faced. “It’s not funny. You’ve always taken Bett’s side. It’s always been the two of you, ganging up on me.”
“What?”
“You know it has been. You both always hated me tagging along behind you, getting in the way.”
“Carrie, what are you talking about? Stop behaving like a child.”
“That’s it exactly. You’ve been saying that to me for years. Well, I’ve had enough. Enough of you and Bett telling me what to do and lording it all over the place. It’s always been like this, since the school fair that time.”
“What school fair?”
“That one before we moved to the Valley and Mum and Dad said you and Bett had to take me and you didn’t. You paid that girl to look after me.”
“Carrie, that was twenty years ago. You were eight years old. We didn’t want you hanging around.”
“Exactly. You didn’t want me hanging around. How did you think that made me feel?”
“Like an eight-year-old who had been left behind by her older sisters. Like every single eight-year-old with older sisters in history, I expect. Carrie, are you actually listening to what you’re saying? You are linking the fact you have broken Bett’s heart by running off with her fiancé with something that happened when you were ei
ght?”
“It’s symptomatic.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Patterns. Recurring events. Here it is again. Matthew and I have made an adult decision. We love each other and yet here you are sticking your nose in and meddling when it’s none of your business.”
Anna’s hackles hadn’t just risen, they were now practically visible, sticking out in sharp points from her shirt. “Caroline, you need a slap. You’re the one who has made all this happen.”
“I’ll tell you something, then. I’m glad it has.”
“You’re glad?”
Carrie looked uncomfortable for only a brief moment. “If this is what it took for you and Bett to see I’m not a child anymore, then, yes, I’m glad.”
“Sorry, Carrie, can I get this clear—you’re glad you’ve broken up Bett’s engagement? I hope to God you’re joking because if you’re not you are a much sadder case than I already thought.”
Matthew leaned forward then. “I have to step in here, Anna.”
Anna didn’t look at him. “Shut up, Matthew. Mind your own business. This isn’t about you anymore.”
Carrie gasped. “Don’t you dare talk to him like that.”
Anna was beyond reason now. “What? I should keep it sweet with him in case he gets sick of you and wants to make a play for me? He’s going for the hat trick, is he?”
Now Matthew and Carrie looked outraged. “That was uncalled for, Anna.”