I’m tired of that frown. I’m tired of us barely tolerating each other. I need to make a move, say something, end all this bullshit.
“We need to talk,” I tell her, shutting the door behind me.
“So talk,” she says slowly, setting the thin stack of papers she was holding onto the desk. Her expression is even, and she seems completely unruffled, while I’m over here feeling like I’m going to erupt into a panic attack at any given moment.
And I don’t have panic attacks. Like, ever.
“You’re pissed at me.” May as well cut right to the chase.
“I thought you were pissed at me,” she says.
I rest my hands on my hips, taken aback. “Why would you think that?”
“You’re the one who got mad that we kissed, Caleb. You stormed out of your car that night like I was a disease you were trying to outrun, only to come back—reluctantly, I might add—because I guess at the last second, you realized it was the gentlemanly thing to do, helping your drunk roommate get back into your apartment in one piece,” she explains. “You haven’t spoken to me since.”
“I have so,” I say, dropping into the empty chair in front of the desk.
“Not really.”
I blow out an exasperated breath. “This is stupid.”
“What? The way you’re behaving?”
“The way we’re both behaving! When was the last time you had sex?”
She rears back a little at my change of subject, leaning away from me in her chair. “How is that any of your business?”
“It’s been over a month for me. I think. I can’t remember the last time I did it. I don’t even remember who with.” I ponder it yet again, but come up with nothing.
“That’s—unusual for you,” she admits. Even she knows my sex habits.
“Right? More like fucking unbelievable. So tell me.” I lean forward, trying to get closer to her, and drop my voice lower. “When was the last time you had sex with someone, G?”
Her brows draw together as she considers my question, her gaze growing distant. As if she’s completely lost in thought. I wait, my right leg bouncing, making the floor rattle, swear to God. Sometimes it feels like one swift wind could sweep through this place and take the tiny office shack out.
“It’s been…a while,” she finally admits.
I curl my hands around the edge of her desk, gripping it tight. “I have a suggestion.”
“No, Caleb. I’m not having sex with you,” she says, not even letting me ask her.
God, this woman exasperates me. “Why the hell not?”
She glances around as if someone’s nearby who might overhear our crazy conversation before she returns her gaze to me. “I’m not about to have sex with a guy who claims he doesn’t like kissing.”
“I never said I don’t like kissing,” I say with an eye roll. “I just—avoid it.”
“Oh. So now you’re telling me you like kissing,” she says, her voice flat.
“Yes, I totally do.” And I’d really like to kiss Gracie—all over her body, if she’ll let me.
“Having sex with you complicates everything,” she not so kindly reminds me. “We live together, Caleb. You know whatever we start won’t last.”
“Are you really looking for something to last, Gracie? Or are you just looking for someone to scratch your itch?” I raise a brow, hoping my approach works.
I’m ready for some fireworks, and not just the ones in the sky, either.
Hey it’s the 4th of July. It’s a given I’m going to make some cheesy fireworks pun.
“Maybe I don’t want you scratching my itch,” she says with a tiny frown.
“Oh come on, G. Of course you do. It would be great between us and you know it,” I tell her, letting all of my arrogance pour right out of me.
“That kiss we shared wasn’t that great, you know,” she says, wounding me with her words. “You weren’t putting your heart into it.”
“What does my heart have to do with any of this?” I ask incredulously.
She rises to her feet, bracing her hands on top of the desk as she glares at me. “Right. Sorry I mentioned the word heart, since you’re such an unfeeling asshole.”
I jump to my feet too, towering over her. And she’s no shrimp either. “What the fuck? Now you’re calling me an asshole? Give me a break. At least I’m not an uptight ice queen.”
“I’m not uptight, you dick!” She flounces away from her desk, headed straight for the door, but I’m quicker than her. I’m on that door before she is, blocking her way. “Move it.”
“No.”
“Caleb…” Her voice is a warning, and I can see the furious glint in her eyes.
Girl means business.
“Hear me out, G,” I plead with her and she takes a step back, crossing her arms. “I went up to the restaurant on my break, trying to find some random girl for a potential hookup, and none of them interested me. All I could think about was…you.”
“Oh gee, that’s so romantic, Caleb. I love that you went in search of a random hookup and came up empty so you thought you’d check with me to see if I’m interested instead.” She clutches her hands together in front of her chest as added emphasis.
“Whoever said it had to be romantic between us? I’m trying to be real with you right now. I’m not about romance. I’m not about any of that stuff.” I take a step forward, the scent of sunscreen and flowers hitting me. I inhale subtly, savoring her fragrance. “But I know I can make you feel good.”
She keeps glaring at me, people yelling and cheering just outside on the dock. The only thing separating us from the crowd growing is the door I’m currently standing in front of. She’s still in pure defensive mode with her arms crossed and that glare on her face, but I can see the rapid throb of her pulse at the base of her neck, and I’m thinking she likes what I’m telling her.
“We aren’t looking for a relationship,” I tell her. “You aren’t. Neither am I. So why not mess around? You know you want it. You’ve been wanting it since the first night we met.”
“I want what?” she asks warily.
“Me. Us. Together. Tangled up in the sheets,” I answer.
Her eyes widen the slightest bit but otherwise, I see no other reaction.
I bet she’d be hard to read during a poker game.
“What do you say?” I ask after she still hasn’t said anything.
“I think it’s a terrible idea,” she says, always my blunt, truthful Gracie. “You’ll catch feelings for me.”
“I won’t catch shit,” I say with confidence. “I never do.”
“Not with any girl?”
“Not a one,” I say, shaking my head. Baylee’s as close as I got to having feelings for someone and even that was more of a friendly-type vibe accompanied by the occasional bang.
God, seriously. I’m a complete prick. But at least I’m being honest with Gracie. No bullshit here. She’s going to hear what I’m all about, whether she likes it or not.
And if she doesn’t like it? At least I tried. Hashtag no regrets.
“You say that like you’re proud,” she says.
“I am. I’m not ready for a relationship. We’re young. Why do we need to get all serious like everyone else around us?”
She contemplates me, the frown gone. She even drops her arms by her sides. “You’re right. We are young. And I’m even older than you are.”
“Yeah, and all of our friends are attached. Fuck, Ava wants to marry Eli and she’s barely nineteen,” I say with an eye roll.
“She’s crazy,” Gracie agrees.
“I know, right? Everyone we know is in a serious, committed relationship. Well, fuck that,” I say.
“Yeah,” she agrees, her voice going soft. “Fuck that.”
I grin. “You game then?”
“Game for what?”
“Me.” I reach out and grab her hand. She lets me take it. “And you.” I yank her close, her body colliding with mine. “Getting naked.”
Eight
Gracie
I’ve never been propositioned the way Caleb is currently propositioning me. He wants to have sex with me, but with no strings attached. Basically, he’s making my dream offer. I don’t like strings. We—as in me and the guy I’m with—can get too tangled up in them, and then someone always ends up hurt.
In my case, it’s usually the guy. He’s the one who wants all the relationship stuff by the time I’m dying to bail out of the entire thing, eager and ready to move on to the next one.
Callous of me, but oh so true.
Messing around with Caleb is all sorts of trouble, but damn it, I like trouble. I’m drawn to it. And the look on his face is trouble personified, mixed with temptation. As in, he’s extremely tempting.
Being pressed against his hard, lean body isn’t helping me either. He’s warm and solid and he smells good. Like sunscreen and the faintest hint of sweat. I’m not usually aroused by a sweaty smelling guy, but here I am.
Turned on. Contemplating rubbing myself against him.
“This won’t work,” I remind him. And myself.
“There’s nothing to work, Gracie. It’s just sex,” he says. “That’s it.”
He’s so right. It is just sex. But…
With us, it feels like it would turn into more. And by more, I mean an impending disaster.
“Let me think about it,” I say softly as I lift my head so my gaze meets his. “Okay?”
“Okay,” he says, way too agreeably. “While you’re at it, think about this too.”
Without warning he presses his lips to mine, his tongue sweeping into my mouth the moment I part my lips on a gasp. He grabs hold of my face, cradling my cheeks as he eats at my mouth like a starving man, and I rest my hands against his chest, clinging to him, a low moan sounding in my throat.
He breaks the kiss way before I’m ready for him to, a smirk curling his lips as he contemplates me. “There. How was that?”
I’m shaky, but I don’t want him to know. I give him a little one shoulder shrug. “It was all right.”
“I’ll do better, I promise.” He leans in, his mouth at my ear, his voice lowering to a rumbling murmur. “I’ll put my mouth on that pussy of yours later tonight and have you screaming my name in minutes. I guarantee it.”
Caleb opens the door before I can say anything in response, and in seconds, he’s gone. Leaving me a trembling, jittery mess.
I go sit down behind my desk once more, my mind spinning as I stare blindly at the stack of papers in front of me. Why did he have to go and kiss me like that? Now I won’t be able to concentrate. And why did he have to say what he did about uh…going down on me, too?
That’s all I can think about, all I can envision now. Caleb’s dark head between my legs. His mouth on me. His tongue on my clit…
A delicious shiver moves through me and I sigh. Fuck paperwork. It’s Independence Day.
I’m going outside.
“Ah, there you are! I was just coming to talk to you,” my boss Michelle says as she approaches me. “I have something for you.”
“What is it?” Oh God, what if they have the dock office bugged and they heard what Caleb and I were talking about.
“Surprise!” she whips out a thin, red plastic headband with light-up red, white and blue stars on top of it. “For you.”
She hands it over and I take it, a fake smile on my face. “Gee, thanks.”
Michelle laughs. “All the girls are wearing them tonight!”
“Where’s yours?” I ask.
“Oh, I didn’t want to ruin my hair.” She pats the side of it. Whatever. “You’ll look cute in it though! Put it on!”
She says it sweetly, but it still sounds like a demand. Maybe that’s because she’s my boss and I automatically want to do what she says. I slip the headband on top of my head, and can feel the stars bobble back and forth since they’re on springs. “How do I look?”
“So cute,” Michelle says warmly as she digs in her front pocket and pulls out some red, white and blue beaded necklaces. “Here, wear these too.”
I slip the necklaces on, feeling ridiculous. I know the guys I work with are going to give me endless shit, but what am I supposed to do? It’s what the boss wants.
And this is what the boss will get.
Personally, I think Michelle is having us wear these stupid things so if people need help, they know we work at Mitchell’s. Which hey, I get. The sun is dropping fast and there’s not a lot of light out here, so they have to identify us somehow.
I go back into the office and stand at my little information window, smiling at people as they walk past, helping those who approach me. One of the dock boys named Aidan catches sight of me with the blinking stars on top of my head, and points at me with a laugh.
Since there are no customers around, I subtly scratch at my cheek with my middle finger, which only makes him laugh harder.
Caleb and the rest of the crew become busy helping a few customers launch their boats to go watch the fireworks, so he doesn’t spot my headband for at least an hour. To the point that I don’t even remember I’m walking around with it on.
“What the hell happened to you, G?” he asks, coming up behind me.
I whirl around, my expression one of pure innocence. “What are you talking about?”
“I like the stars.” He reaches for one, giving it a gentle tug. “The necklaces too.” He touches them as well, his fingers brushing against my left tit.
Tell me he didn’t mean to do that.
Please.
I bat his hand away and he grins. “You look cute.”
He takes off when Aidan calls his name and I stand there marinating in my feelings for a few seconds, savoring the fact that he called me cute.
Okay. I’m being ridiculous. This man-boy doesn’t deserve to be thought of like this. He just wants in my panties, and that’s it.
When the sky turns to twilight, I can feel the buzz in the air. The murmur of excited conversations all around us. People are everywhere. On the water in their boats, on the lakeshore, on the decks of their lake houses. Sitting on the boats that are docked in front of Mitchell’s. People are also sitting at tables on the outdoor dining patio, on the grass, or out in front of their cabins. They’re all waiting for the fireworks to begin.
“Why do they have the fireworks here?” I ask Aidan, knowing that he’s grown up around here, just like Caleb. “Why not at the high school or whatever?”
“They’re a total fire hazard, especially up here since we’re in the middle of the forest. But if you launch the fireworks over the lake, you’re way less likely to set something on fire,” he explains.
I nod. “Makes sense.”
“They put on a pretty good show. You won’t be disappointed.” Aidan glances around at all the people milling about. “This is a highlight of the year around here. Not much happens in this town.”
“The place comes alive in the summer though,” I observe, taking in all of the people surrounding us.
“Definitely. The tourists keep us going. When a fire hits nearby, it ruins everything. Last summer a fire threatened the lake, and we had to shut down right before Labor Day. The entire area was evacuated,” Aidan says.
“I remember that,” I murmur, inhaling the scent of pine from the nearby trees. I can’t imagine losing all of this to a fire. That would be awful.
A girl approaches Aidan and he turns to talk to her, putting on the charm. Scarily enough, he reminds me of a mini-Caleb. I wonder if he’s actually Caleb’s protégé.
Wouldn’t doubt it for even a second.
I decide to watch the fireworks from the dock office. There’s a giant window that faces out on the water, and I slide it open, both pleased and dismayed that there’s no screen on it. Pleased because my view is completely unobstructed, and dismayed because every bug—every single giant, horrific lake bug, is already flying into my office.
My least favorite thing about the lake—all the
bugs. Spiders. Giant, hard shelled things that everyone calls June bugs. They’re hideous and they have claws. One landed in my hair and I literally screamed, desperate to get it out of my hair, but the little sucker was hard to dislodge.
All the boys laughed their asses off at me when it happened, including Caleb. Even TJ, the dock manager, couldn’t stop chuckling.
I grab my Mitchell’s hoodie and pull it on, forgetting I’m wearing the star headband and immediately getting it all tangled up in the sweatshirt and my hair. I try to yank it out, pulling on my hair and muttering ‘ow’ under my breath, when I feel warm hands gently push mine away and take over.
“Let me help you,” Caleb murmurs, his deep voice making me go completely still. I drop my hands to my sides and wait, achingly aware of his close proximity as he carefully disentangles the headband from my hair. “There you go.”
He takes the headband off and shifts so he’s standing directly in front of me. His lips curve up as he slips the headband on his head, the stars blinking, casting his face in red, white and blue. “What do you think?”
I smile. “You look goofy.”
“Not cute like you?”
There he goes, calling me cute again. He needs to stop. “Goofily cute,” I tell him.
He looks pleased by my compliment. I’m starting to realize it doesn’t take much to make this man happy. Kind words, a funny joke. A compliment. Food—always food. Hanging out with his friends. Football. Jumping off the dock office roof into the water—I really hate when he does that but when he first pops out of the water wearing that giant smile, I can’t help but smile too.
I suppose I should add sex to that list. Oh, and sleep. Caleb loves his sleep. He likes to lounge around in bed on his days off when he has nothing to do and nowhere to go. I could never call him lazy though, because the dude is almost always on the go. But when he gets a chance for some downtime, he fully embraces it.
“You watching the fireworks in here?” he asks.
“Yes,” I tell him, worry immediately filling me. “Is that okay? Or should I be out on the dock?”
The Junior (College Years Book 3) Page 8