“Ouch,” said Poly. “I didn’t think of that. Change the message to the following: ‘Hi Sis! I’m having a great time in Vegas, but need to talk. Please call me as soon as you’re free. Thanks!’”
“Highly superior,” said my phone.
Poly nodded, then turned to me.
“What I don’t get is why Xenotech Support is being sued? We didn’t blow up their building. Pomy did.”
“First,” I said, “they’ve got to know that Pomy is your sister. Second, they know we were trying to break into Agnes Spelman’s office. Third, the first two don’t really matter, because this lawsuit is EUA attempting to punish us and gain some leverage. You can’t give a giant a hotfoot without expecting some sort of reaction. I expect EUA to come after everybody we care about—and all of Xenotech Support’s clients, too.”
“We’ve got to fight back,” said Poly.
“It’s David versus Goliath,” I said.
“I’ve got the stone, if you’ve got the sling,” said my partner. “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
“So long as they don’t fall on us!”
“Let’s go freeze Cornell and Sally and find out more about EUA Corporation,” said my partner and lover.
She had a fierce look, like an Amazon ready to fly her invisible plane into the EUA Tower. Wait, that’s a terrible simile. It’s not only in bad taste, I don’t even know if EUA has a tower. Let’s just say Poly looked ready to kick some ass.
“It might be a good idea to put clothes on first,” I said, “and have something to eat.”
“I hate it when you’re the practical one,” said Poly.
There was a knock at the main door to the suite.
“Room Service.”
“Leave the cart outside the door,” I said.
I found a bathrobe in the main bedroom closet and belted it closed, then unlocked, unbolted and unchained the suite’s door and pulled the cart inside. I lifted the lid on one of the plates and the smell of Canadian bacon filled the front hall. I re-secured to door and pushed the cart into the master bedroom.
“Let’s fill the hole in your hollow leg first, then shower, then head west to storm the castle,” I said.
“It wasn’t the hole in my leg you were…” said Poly.
I popped a whipped cream-covered fresh strawberry into her mouth. The expression on her face changed from concerned to euphoric.
“No fair,” said Poly.
She opened her mouth for another strawberry.
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” I teased.
After Poly swallowed her mouthful, she teased me back.
“I can smell the ham,” she said, “and if those eggs my nose detects are an omelet, you ordered me Hamlet for breakfast.”
“No such luck,” I said. “Canadian bacon and poached eggs.”
“Close enough,” said Poly, giving me a kiss and feeding me a strawberry.
It took a while before we were ready to hop in the shower. Let’s just say we found something more than just breakfast to occupy our time before we did.
Chapter 43
“The secret to humor is surprise.”
— Aristotle
I decided I wanted to confront Cornell in his own sort of armor, so after a delightful shower with Poly, including mutual back scrubbing, I dressed to impress. I put on the navy blue pinstriped suit and red power tie with Pyr-shaped triangles I’d brought along in case Poly and I decided to go out to dinner somewhere fancy while we were in Vegas. Poly dressed to match. She wore a soft gray business suit with thin, powder blue and crimson pinstripes and looked like a million galcreds. We could have been a couple of hotshot young attorneys gunning for partner and ready to defend our client in the courtroom.
We’d packed our suitcases and had them—and my backpack tool bag with Chit’s bottle—waiting for a local transport service to pick them up in the suite’s front hall. My phone had booked us a return flight to Atlanta that left McCarran International at eleven fifty-five tonight. With very little notice, the best it could get were two middle seats in the back, but we’d be home before the sun was up. Maybe I could get another passenger to trade seats with me if I offered enough cash? I really wanted to sit with Poly.
I checked the inside breast pocket of my suit jacket and felt the reassuring solidity of the mini-sweetener cylinder. I confirmed that it had plenty of charge, too. I couldn’t tell where Poly kept hers, but could see that it wasn’t in the equivalent spot on her tailored jacket. I wasn’t sure if her jacket even had pockets. I offered to pat her down to see where she’d hidden her mini-sweetener, but got a mock-stern finger waved in my face for my trouble—and a kiss. At least Poly knew I was only trying to help.
We reluctantly walked out of the suite. I knew I’d never forget our stay and hoped Roger Joe-Bob might let us use it for free again someday, since the daily rate for the place was in five figures.
“Crap,” I said, as the doors to our private elevator opened.
“What?” asked Poly.
“I forgot to return our rental blimp.”
“Already taken care of,” said my phone. “You even qualified for the Keen’s Guide Readers’ discount.”
“Thanks,” I said. “What would I do without you?”
“You’re welcome,” said my phone. “And ‘die horrible deaths several times over.’”
I didn’t react to its inappropriate black humor because it was probably right.
On the way down a new limerick popped into my brain.
A naive young man who said “Golly,”
Met up with a woman named Poly…
We wanted to confront Cornell and Sally, find out everything we could from the two of them, then quietly head home without disturbing our friends’ recoveries. They’d been through a lot recently. Poly and I would write electronic thank you notes to Roger Joe-Bob and the Obi-Yu siblings, appreciating their hospitality. That’s why I was completely blown away when the elevator doors opened.
Terrhi, Spike, Martin, Nettie, Lizzie, A.J., Roger Joe-Bob, Mimi, and Marty were waiting for us in the lobby. Queen Sherrhi and Tomáso were also there, taking up a great deal of space behind them. Even Chit was there, and she was flying back with us. She must have been pulling my leg when she’d said she was going to catch up on her shows.
“Surprise!” said the assembled crew.
“You didn’t think we were going to let you leave without saying goodbye, did you?” asked Martin.
“Ummm,” said Poly, who sort of recovered first.
My jaw was still hanging open.
“How did you know we were leaving?” I asked, pulling myself together.
“A little birdie told us,” said Nettie.
“Tweet,” said my phone.
Blasted initiative.
“You all don’t have to take the red eye home, either,” said Roger Joe-Bob, waving his tentacles gleefully. “Mimi told me how much we all owe you.”
“Aw, shucks,” said Poly, getting in the spirit of Roger Joe-Bob’s style of speech. “’Tweren’t nothin’.”
“I’m glad to run you two lovebirds back to the Big Peach,” said Mimi.
The Atlanta Regional Bureau of Tourism had been wise to drop that name from their promotions years ago, but I didn’t complain.
“That would be great!” I said.
If I remembered correctly, there were seats in the passenger compartment on Horus One that turned into beds.
“Just let me know when you’d like to leave,” said our four-sided pyramidal pilot.
Then another voice spoke high above me.
“Thank you for your service to the Matriarch and people of the worlds of Dauush,” said Queen Sherrhi, in a voice even deeper than her consort’s. “We are in y
our debt once again.”
“No problem,” I said.
“Glad to help,” said Poly.
I noticed that we were attracting attention from other people in the lobby. One man in particular kept looking our way. He had short, light brown hair and was seated on a sofa next to a floor lamp, hiding behind a paper copy of the Galactic Times. The man kept staring at us, then looking away. He seemed to be trying to catch Shepherd’s eye. I’d ask my Pâkk friend about him later.
Nettie pulled Poly close and spoke to the two of us in a quiet voice.
“I’ve talked to Mom and George, and GalCon Systems’ legal department will be glad to work with you and Pomy to fight EUA’s lawsuit,” she said.
My phone really had been talking out of school, but I was glad for it, given the outcome.
“How wonderful,” said Poly. “Pomy will be pleased to hear that.”
“It’s the least we can do, considering you and Jack found direct evidence of Chapultepec & Castle’s industrial espionage.”
A.J. and Lizzie joined us.
“I’d love to see our legal team give C&C and EUA a bloody nose,” said A.J.
He was rubbing his hands together and had a take-no-prisoners look in his eye. Legal confrontations would be just the beginning if he had his way.
“I just want to keep EUA away from Xenotech Support and our clients.”
“We’ll do everything we can,” said Lizzie, “and I’ll try to keep my brother from earning a double murder conviction in the process.”
She underlined her words by elbowing A.J. He didn’t wince. Sometimes I wished I had siblings.
Martin came over and shook my hand, while Poly was receiving goodbye hugs from Nettie, Lizzie, and A.J.
“Good luck with Cornell this time,” he said. “I hope you have better luck than we had with RSVP and Sally.”
“Absolutely,” I said. “I’m hoping Cornell’s mind is twisted enough not to expect me to do something as simple as ring his doorbell.”
“It could work,” said Martin. “So could a squad of national guard troops.”
“Poly and I stand a better chance of getting the One Ring into Mordor on our own,” I joked.
“So long as you don’t run into more of the Nine,” Martin replied.
I’d been underestimating him. I hadn’t thought he was that much of a fantasy fan. Figuring out who else was part of The General’s nine lieutenants was definitely on the agenda. Maybe I could finally pry that information out of Cornell?
My phone spoke up.
“McCarran General Aviation Control reports a private jet registered to Chapultepec & Castle just took off.”
“Winfield and Johnson,” I said, wanting to spit.
Poly and Nettie heard those hated names and joined me next to Martin.
“Where’s the plane headed?” I asked.
“Atlanta,” said my phone.
“Good,” said Poly.
“But C&C’s headquarters is in Dallas,” said Nettie. “Why Atlanta?”
“Who cares so long as I get another shot at them?” said Poly.
“Careful that they don’t get another shot at you,” I noted.
In the back of my head I was asking the same question Nettie had. The way I’d seen the corporate world work, subordinates who screwed up a big project were usually called on the carpet by their boss in short order. Did The General live in Atlanta?
Nettie dragged me over to Lizzie and A.J. It was my turn to collect hugs from the Obi-Yu siblings. Poly joined in and got another round of hugs for good measure. We were almost ready to leave when I felt a trio of pre-adolescent Dauushan sub-trunks tug on my arm.
“Uncle Jack, Aunt Poly, Spike’s going to miss you,” said Terrhi, sniffling a little.
“He’ll manage,” said Poly, smiling at the little alien girl. “The two of you will be back in Atlanta with us in just a few days. For now, you and your family can enjoy Las Vegas together.”
“I guess so,” sniffed Terrhi. “And we still have to see the white tigers, right Spike?”
The tri-sabertooth head-butted me in the stomach, then offered his jaw for Poly to scritch.
Terrhi seemed like she’d recover without any major trauma. I looked at Poly, she looked at me, and we both looked at Terrhi and smiled. The kid was so cute! It was fun being her honorary aunt and uncle.
“Take good care of Spike and don’t let him get into any fights with the tigers,” I said.
“I will and I won’t, Uncle Jack,” she said.
I smiled, thinking that was a great all-purpose answer. Terrhi would make a excellent Matriarch of Dauush herself someday.
As we walked out of the lobby, Marty caught up to us and reassured us that she’d coordinate treatment for the other bigwigs. I was sure she’d pull it off with aplomb. Poly and I both got hugs from her—I guess that’s what happens when you feed someone chocolate.
I sensed a familiar buzzing near my ear.
“Come on, buddy boy,” said Chit. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
Her wing cases were painted in a light brown camouflage pattern.
“Are you coming with us?” asked Poly. “I thought you had too many recorded episodes of Congressional subcommittee hearings to spare the time.”
“Just between us girls,” said Chit, “after a while, they all start to sound the same.”
“I won’t tell the network sponsors,” said Poly. “Thanks for coming.”
“Somebody has to keep you two out of trouble.”
Poly and I laughed.
“Too late for that,” I said.
Chit settled into a hidden spot in my hair where her paint job helped her blend in. Poly and I settled into an autocab my phone had summoned. My phone gave our vehicle the proper coordinates and we were off.
As we motored west on Flamingo, Poly held my hand. We were both excited, and a bit nervous. The last time I’d knocked on a stranger’s door had been to check up on an Earth First Isolationist named Oscar Mosley. He turned out to be an old codger with odd opinions making extra money on the side—not any sort of criminal mastermind. Today’s expectations were different.
Off on the western horizon, the mountains near Red Rock Canyon reminded me of where my step-dad used to take me hiking in the Texas hill country. Closer at hand, the businesses slipping by on the left and right as we proceeded along West Flamingo Road provided a reassuring sense of normalcy. Fast food restaurants, from McDonald’s golden arches to Big Vee’s giant green asparagus spears reminded me of my childhood. I used to eat at places like that with my mom when she’d had to work late and didn’t have the energy to cook. A Nicósn flat fish pizza chain place made me reflect on how much things had changed since I was a kid.
I spotted a twenty-four hour bowling alley on a corner. Bowling was popular in a town with summer temperatures over a hundred degrees and a casino workforce covering three shifts a day. I remembered my mom using bowling balls and pins to teach me physics lessons back when I could barely lift the lightest ball. I’d gotten fairly good at the sport—it was something I could do on my own—until I went off to Orish for grad school. Maybe Poly and I could bowl a few games back in Atlanta.
“Penny for your thoughts?” asked Poly.
“There aren’t pennies anymore.”
“Stop it,” said Poly.
“Stop what?”
“Avoiding the subject.”
“Okay,” I said.
I’d have to work harder on remembering I had a partner now—and not just a business partner. Poly was someone I wanted to share my life with.
“My apologies,” I said. “Force of habit. I was thinking about how much things had changed since I was a kid. And bowling.”
“Bowling?” asked Poly.
“You like to bowl?”
“Uh huh. I like the angles and the focus it takes to hit the spot correctly with exactly the right spin to get a strike.”
“Sounds like fun. Will you take me some time?”
“Sure. You’ve never done it?”
“No,” she said. “Can you imagine Professor Pericles Agamemnon Jones bowling?”
“I can’t,” I said, unable to summon the mental image. “I can see him wrestling or throwing a discus, but not trying to pick up a spare. What about your mom?”
“There aren’t many bowling alleys off planet.”
“Right.”
I squeezed her hand. We were getting close to the turnoff to Cornell and Sally’s place. We’d discussed what we were going to do a dozen times. With Chit along, we’d figured out a good role for her as well.
“Time to start the distraction,” I said.
“In progress,” said my phone. “The private security forces should be busy five blocks away.”
“Great.”
“Will you be able to take over any external security cameras on their castle-house?” asked Poly.
“It shouldn’t be a problem once the cab is out front,” my phone answered.
“Chit,” I said. “You ready?”
“Watch your own tails, boys and girls,” she said. “I know what to do.”
“Here goes nothing,” I said, giving Poly’s hand one last nervous squeeze.
The autocab pulled in front of Cornell and Sally’s castle-like house. Poly and I got out and walked semi-confidently up the walk to the porch. Chit flew from her perch in my hair and positioned her body to cover the circular viewer in the front door. We drew our mini-sweeteners. Poly looked at me. I looked at her. She nodded.
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