Two hours and as many coffees later, I leaned back in my chair, passing a hand over strained eyes. It was close to knock-off time. I’d calmed down a little. The numb feeling still sat in the pit of my stomach as I replayed Simon’s last words over in my head. I sighed and picked up my mobile and sent a message.
Why the fuck did you kiss him?
The answer came back almost immediately, as if he’d been waiting for my question.
He kissed me. But I didn’t stop him. I wanted to see what I felt for him. It wasn’t the same.
The same as what? I texted back.
The same as it had been before. The same as kissing you. Kissing you is so much better. R x
Why didn’t you tell me he was coming to stay?
It was a full two minutes before my phone beeped again.
He was never going to stay. His plan, not mine. I didn’t tell you he was coming because I wanted to make sure I was over him before I told you.
Told me what? Now I was curious.
I waited what seemed like ages but had only been five minutes, staring at the screen until my eyes crossed. Then my phone beeped again.
That I love you.
I blinked at those last words on my small screen. Then I peered at them again. Yep, they were still there. I wasn’t hallucinating, and the crazy police weren’t on their way to fetch me. I took a deep breath, staring at the far wall for what seemed like ages as I pondered that unexpected message. I got up and paced around the office, the phone held in my hand like some magic device about to sort out all my problems. My emotions spiraled from happiness that he’d said the words to irritation that he’d made this immense admission by text. My phone bleeped again.
Toby, babe, are you there? R xx
I messaged him back.
I’m here, trying to process. I see you with your ex, his tongue in your mouth and his hand all over your crotch, but you love me? How does that bloody work?
I heard the cackle of the Joker outside the door before the next text even came in.
Toby open the door. I need to talk to you. Face to face. x
I swung open the door to the office to see Rain standing outside, wild-eyed, phone clutched in his hand. His hair was mussed, his face pale, and the look of relief on his face when he saw me was gut-wrenching. We stared at each other.
His voice was husky when he spoke. “Do I need to text you to ask if I can come in, or can we talk like normal people? Can I come in?”
I nodded numbly, and he brushed past me to stand in the center of the room. I closed and locked the office door. There was no need for anyone else to see this scene.
“This is a new kind of courtship,” I muttered. “Texting, then pitching up outside my door. It’s becoming a habit.”
He reached over and pulled me into his arms, laying his forehead against mine in a gesture of pure submission. My primal man-ego instinct was to pull away. But my overwhelming one was how good it felt that this man was holding me in his arms, so I stayed where I was. I was definitely a bloody pushover. I didn’t even think I was all that mad, still seeing those three little words on my phone screen.
I love you.
“I’m sorry, Toby,” he whispered. “I fucked up.”
“Yes, you did.” I wasn’t letting him get off easy.
“I didn’t want to hurt you. Christ, that’s the last thing I’d have ever wanted to do to you. Tommy said he wanted to see me, and I thought—” He swallowed as his hands cupped my face and he stared into my eyes. “—I thought if I could see him again it might put things to rest finally, you know? But I never meant to hurt you like that. God, your face. I felt like such a fucking heel.” His face grew dark. “And you are not just a fuck buddy. Tommy said that just to annoy you. Again, his words, not mine. Never mine. Christ, I wanted to kill him for upsetting you like that.”
I found the balls to move away, and he looked at me worriedly.
“So what happened, then?” I asked tightly. “Tell me about what I saw and why I should trust you again.”
He paced around, running a hand through his already untidy hair, making it stand up like a cockatoo’s head crest. “He came back because he ran out of money.” His voice was harsh. “I think his plan was to convince me to sell the house we still own in Chelsea so he can have his share of the profits. So, he thought he could come back into my life after a year and just take up where left off. Then after he had the money, he probably would have left me again. He always was a manipulative little shit. I might have fallen for that then, but not now.”
I heard the undercurrent of pain in his voice at being used. Rain looked over at me, his blue eyes shadowed.
“He leaned forward and kissed me. I let him, because I wanted to see what I still felt for him. But all I could see when he was kissing me was your face. I wanted those lips on mine to be yours, not his.” He looked discomfited, and I knew this sort of thing wasn’t easy for him to share and vocalize. It wasn’t his style. Rain was a man of action, not words. But I let him flounder.
“I remembered that first kiss in the storeroom. How hot it was, and every kiss since that. I didn’t feel anything for him anymore. It was such a relief. I was about to tell him that when I looked up and saw you.” His voice trembled. “I never want to see that look on your face again. It destroyed me.”
He stopped pacing and looked at me hopefully. I didn’t move closer to him, just stood my ground. “It hurt, Rain,” I said quietly. “I never thought anything could hurt like that. I thought I’d lost you. I thought you were going to leave me.” I heard the tremor in my voice as he strode over to me and pressed his lips to mine, hungry and needy. I couldn’t resist him. I groaned slightly and let him in. We kissed, bodies pressed together as if we wanted to merge into a one-celled organism. We came up for air, and Rain smiled at me, still holding me close.
“I prefer that to fighting,” he murmured.
I moved back to look at him. “Has Tommy gone?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I called him a taxi, and it took him away. I don’t know where. I’ll hear from him sooner or later about the sale of the house.” He huffed. “To be honest, I don’t think I’ll fight it. We’ll get it sold, and he can have his bloody share. Then I’ve got nothing connecting us anymore. I kept the house because I thought maybe one day he might come back.” He grinned softly. “But I have a garden shed and a Toby now, so I don’t need a fancy place in Chelsea.”
I chuckled softly against his neck. I felt an overwhelming sense of joy at holding him in my arms. Goose bumps formed on his skin, and I kissed them softly, feeling him shiver. He had no idea that I was about to plunge him deeper into the mire that was emotional expression. “Tell me.”
He reared back and looked at me in puzzlement. “Tell you what?”
I just looked at him, and his face colored. “Oh. That.”
I laughed softly. “Yes, that, Rain. You said you wanted to talk to me face-to-face. So tell me.”
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes momentarily. I couldn’t believe that uttering the words was such a challenge for him. I was about to let him off the hook when he leaned forward.
“I love you,” he whispered in my ear. “My brave, funny, beautiful, sexy Toby. I love you madly.”
It was my turn to hyperventilate now, my breathing getting deeper and my insides churning like dirty clothing in a washer. Rain looked very pleased at causing that sort of reaction in me, and he grinned slyly.
“See? I can do it. Now it’s your turn.” He waited expectantly, and I was tongue-tied. His eyes twinkled. “I’m waiting.” His formal admission seemed to have given him a cocky confidence he hadn’t had before. I took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply, my tongue winding with his, giving him my lips in the way I knew he liked it. When I released his mouth, leaving him breathless, I laid my forehead against his.
“I love you, Rain. You have my heart and my soul.” He gave a small cry and reached for my mouth again. We were just getting very touchy-feel
y when there was a loud banging on the door.
“Would you two please stop whatever you’re doing and open the bloody door, please?” Tammy’s impatient voice vibrated loudly through the door. “I’ve given you enough time, but I’d really like to get my handbag and piss off home!”
We drew apart and looked at each other, grinning. He ran a hand over my groin, and I shivered.
He kissed me tenderly. “I’ll wait upstairs for you if you like. Come up once you’ve closed up or whatever it is you do, and I’ll take care of that for you. Don’t be too long.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then looked at me, his face slightly apprehensive. “We are okay, aren’t we, Toby? You’re not mad with me anymore?”
The banging on the door got louder.
I nodded. “Yeah, we’re good. Now, let’s open this door before she bloody breaks it down with a fire axe.”
I made my way to the door and unlocked it. My friend and staff member stood there, her face pink with frustration. Rain brushed past her lightly, planting a kiss on the top of her head, and disappeared to my room.
Tammy glared at me. “Thank you so much, Toby. Perhaps now some of us can go home now you and your boyfriend have finished canoodling.”
I raised an eyebrow. I felt so good at this moment that nothing she or anyone could say would bring me down. Rain said he loved me. His ex is history once and for all.
“Canoodling, Tam? That’s a new one. How does that work, actually, in gay-man sex terms? Do I canoodle him, or does he canoodle me? Perhaps we canoodle each other. That sounds amazing, however physically impossible it might be—”
Tammy placed a warm, firm hand on my mouth and gave me a look that would have turned Medusa herself to stone. “Toby Prentiss, you shut up right now. I have had a shitty day, and I want to get home.” But her voice was not as mad as her words suggested.
I looked at her with a huge smile on my face. “Rain told me he loved me, Tammy. He actually said the words.”
Her face lit up like a lighthouse beacon. “Toby, I’m so glad. I knew he did, of course, any plonker could see that, but he’s so bloody stubborn. He needed a push. How did you get him to finally admit it?”
I shrugged. “Actually, it wasn’t me that convinced him. It was his ex-boyfriend.” Her mouth dropped open, and I laughed at her expression. “It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you later.” I grinned and waved down at my nether regions. “But right this minute I have a man upstairs willing to take care of this little predicament I seem to have found myself in, and come hell or high water, I’m off. Chris is already in to take charge. I saw him earlier. I, my dear, am off upstairs for a little canoodling.”
I waved a hand at her shaking head and made the stairs two at a time up to my suite. I pushed open the door. “Honey, I’m home!”
Rain appeared out of the bathroom. He only had his jeans on, his bare chest very inviting to my tongue and hands, the dark hair running down his belly into his groin a definite invitation to pillage and plunder. He smiled, but he looked slightly nervous.
I frowned. “You didn’t start without me, did you? Because that would be very unfair—mph.” My words were cut off as Rain pulled me toward him, shoving his tongue in my mouth, effectively shutting me up for a while. His taste was all man, sweat and sweet apple, probably because he’d been pilfering from the fruit bowl downstairs again on his way up.
His touch made my legs weak and my groin burn like a menthol heat pack had been shoved down my front. His hands pulled at my shirt, dragging it out of my pants, and I lifted my arms as he pulled it off without even opening the buttons. Luckily I’d already taken off my tie and loosened the top buttons on my way up the stairs. Otherwise I might have been strangled to death.
“Someone’s needy,” I murmured in between kisses, grabby hands, and cocks rubbing eagerly against one another. He nodded, his lips busy licking my jawline whilst his hands loosened my trousers and pushed them down over my hips onto the floor. I stepped out of them as he slid his hands over the silk of my underwear, cupping my arse cheeks tightly and pulling me even closer against him.
“Uh-huh, I need you really badly. I want to say I’m sorry for today, and I’ve got the perfect apology.” He pushed my boxers down, and they slid to the floor.
“And what would that be?” I whispered, slipping my hands into the front of his loosened jeans, running my hand down the length of him, causing him to shudder. I noticed once again the man had no underwear on.
“Me.”
“Nothing new about that, lover.” I did my own moves of getting him out of his jeans. “I seem to have you with some regularity. You’ll have to do better than that,” I whispered teasingly as he stood naked before me, cock at attention and jutting out toward me, glistening and beautiful. We were both naked now, breaths coming in deep gasps. My own cock was raring to go, and I took his hand and led him over to the bed. I lay down on my back, and Rain lay beside me, his leg over mine, his face tucked into my shoulder as he gently ran his hand down my swollen erection. His black hair fell over his face, obscuring his eyes, and I reached up to flick it back so I could see him.
“You don’t get it, Toby. I meant you get to have me.” His voice was quiet, slightly trembling, and for a moment, I had no idea what he meant. As the penny dropped, he shifted, turning his face up to mine with an expression of determination. His eyes fixed on my face, dark pools of azure blue, his lips slightly parted as he waited for my reaction. I sat up, and he moved too, sitting up next to me and laying a hand on my stomach, stroking it gently.
“Rain, you don’t have to do that. I know how you feel about it, and it’s fine, I promise.” Even as I said the words I felt the shimmer of excitement that he’d offered himself to me like this. I’d wanted so badly to feel myself inside him on countless occasions, but I’d always held back, remembering his ordeal at the party. “I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way. You don’t owe me anything.”
His answer was a narrowing of his eyes as he reached for the lube on the bedside table. I watched, my heart beating chaotically in my chest, my balls tightening and my cock hardening even more than I thought possible as he took off the cap. He handed the tube to me wordlessly, then lay on his back, opening his legs and raising his knees.
“I want you to make love to me, Toby,” he whispered. “I want you to be the first since—” His voice broke off, but he carried on. “I want this. No pressure.”
My throat choked up with emotion, and I nodded. “Fine, as long as you’re sure.” My whole being was singing a soft, gentle hymn of need and love that echoed through my soul and, I hoped, showed in my eyes when I looked at him.
He leaned up and caressed my face gently. “I’m sure, Toby.” He smiled, and I covered his body with mine, lying skin to skin, cock to cock, face to face. I took his hands and raised them above his head. Holding both of his wrists loosely with one hand, my other slowly traveled down his rib cage, caressing and trailing across his soft skin, and he gasped. His body pushed up against mine as I kissed him. His mouth was urgent, hungry, and he groaned as I slid my tongue in, slicking his palate. I cupped his balls, my thumb massaging the bottom of his shaft. He bucked beneath me as I let my fingers travel up his shaft, tracing the underside of his erection, finding the hot, fevered tip of him and sliding my fingertip into the slit.
“Oh God, Toby, please.” he moaned as his mouth grew frantic on mine. “You can be such a fucking tease. You have a definite sadist streak in you.”
I nibbled his lips as my hand gripped his cock and started to stroke him, varying my grip from light pressure to strong. He struggled to break his wrists free of my hand, but I held him firm.
“Uh-uh. You stay where you are,” I whispered in his ear, then stuck my tongue in it for good measure. He gave an agonized squeak and flailed beneath me. I grinned against his mouth and licked his bottom lip. I had to say I was enjoying this. Rain and I were both pretty versatile when it came to who took charge, even if he hadn’t let me inside hi
m yet. In everything else we were equals. One day he’d be the dominant one; the next time, it would be me. But the beauty of this session was that I actually got to have him, to feel my cock inside him and see his face when I pushed into him. It was such a turn-on, and I knew I couldn’t keep up this torment much longer. I was going insane with lust myself.
I stopped my torture, hearing him panting beneath me, his face flushed, his eyes unfocused. I reached for the lube, and he watched me intently as I squeezed it onto my fingers. I shook my head with a chuckle.
“Strawberry-scented lube, Rain? Really? Do you get some sort of a deal on the fruity stuff? Are you sure I just shouldn’t get a bloody banana and shove it up—” I snorted with laughter at the aggrieved look on his face.
He growled and pulled me on top of him. “Shut the fuck up with the fruit jokes. I had enough with the sheep ones already. Now, get those bloody fingers lubed up and inside me before I lose my nerve.”
I looked at him carefully, watching for any sign of uncertainty. He gave a sigh of frustration. “I’m sure. For God’s sake, Toby, just fuck me.” His hoarse voice drove me on, and I needed no further urging. I knelt between his open legs, and, slowly, I rubbed the lube in between his arse cheeks, gently smearing it around his hole. He clenched slightly, and I leaned over and kissed him, softly this time, trying to reassure him I’d go slow. He relaxed, and as his kiss grew deeper, I slid my index finger inside him. He started, and I kept my lips on his as I moved around, gently stretching him. He whimpered, the sound turning my insides to mush. I swallowed, feeling my cock harden impossibly and my stomach muscles clench.
“It’s okay,” I whispered against his mouth. “I’m going to put another finger in now. Try and relax.” He nodded, his breath coming in quick huffs. His muscled thighs tensed, like piano wire. I moved my other hand to slowly stroke his left leg, long, gliding strokes down his thighs, to his knees. His eyes met mine, and I smiled at him as I inserted another finger. I scissored my fingers, trying to take it slow, even though all I wanted to do was plunge into him. I pushed deeper, searching for the spot I knew would make this all worthwhile. As I pressed the small nub inside him, he took a deep, gulping breath, his eyes widening and his hips arching off the bed.
Waiting for Rain Page 24