‘Are you going now?’
Blushing, realizing she’d been caught staring, Isla nodded.
‘The boys are just finishing their breakfast, their clothes and schoolbags are—’
‘We’ll manage fine.’
‘I know.’ She gave a tiny shrug. ‘Luke seems fine, Harry’s a bit—’
‘He’ll be OK,’ Sav broke in again. ‘Don’t worry.’
‘I am worried, though, Sav. Harry’s upset, not just about me working—’
‘Harry’s got too much Mediterranean blood in his veins for his own good.’ Again Sav halted her. ‘He wants his mother home in the kitchen, worrying about him all day long.’
She knew he’d meant it as a joke. Sav was fiercely proud of his heritage, adored Spain, missed it more than he ever let on, knowing Isla felt guilty for all he had given up to marry her. But even if it had been a joke, there was a semblance of truth behind it, and Isla chose to pursue it.
‘What about you, Sav?’
She watched his shoulders stiffen slightly, waited as he splashed some aftershave into his hands and slapped it on before slowly turning around to face her.
‘I’d rather you were at home, too.’ He stared directly at her, dark eyes boring into her, honesty behind every word. ‘But not because I’m a chauvinist, Isla.’
‘Then why?’
‘You’re going to be late.’
‘Sav, please, tell me—’
‘Isla, it’s your first day. If you’re really serious about going back to work then now isn’t the time for an in-depth discussion.’ He was right, and if he’d left it there it would have been OK. But Sav had to get the last word in, had to spoil yet another morning with his own immovable view on things. ‘Anyway…’ He stalked out of the en suite, ripped off his towel and somehow managed to pull on his boxers and still look haughty at the same time. ‘What I think doesn’t really come into it. You’ve made that perfectly clear. You’ve made your choice: you’re doing whatever it is you need to do, Isla. The rest of us will just have to work around it.’
‘You’re impossible, Sav. You make it sound as if I’m off to a nightclub, or abandoning you all for a week in Bali to have massages and facials and lie on a beach, while I leave you all to fend for yourselves. I’m going to work, for heaven’s sake.’
‘Then go.’
Without another word she turned around, marched down the stairs, absolutely refusing to look back, determined not to make this wretched morning any worse.
‘Isla.’ Sav was at the top of the stairs, and slowly she turned to face him. ‘Good luck.’
Damn!
Why did he have to go and do that? Isla thought. Why did he have to go and do the right thing, say something so nice, when they both knew he didn’t want her to go back?
‘Thanks.’
They met halfway down the stairs. ‘You’ll be fine.’
‘I hope so.’ Isla sniffed.
‘I know so.’ He picked up the name tag that hung around her neck, staring at the security photo for a moment, and Isla felt her breath catch in her throat as his fingers dusted over her chest, the sudden intimacy unfamiliar and unexpected. ‘You were Isla Howard last time we worked together. Isla Howard, a grad nurse with an attitude.’
‘And you were the visiting overseas registrar that the whole department promptly fell in love with.’
‘Good times,’ Sav said softly, and she nodded, dragging her eyes up to meet his.
‘Very.’ Isla gulped, terrified of saying the wrong thing, pushing too hard, not wanting this fragile moment to end, relishing this tiny, unexpected tender moment. But just as the past caught up, just as she glimpsed again the man she had once known, the shutters snapped closed, just the briefest of kisses brushing her cheek as he took a step back up the stairs. ‘You’d better go.’
‘Bye,’ Isla said quickly, darting out of the door, trying for both their sakes to escape the horrible gap in their conversation, the parting ritual that had fallen by the wayside fourteen months ago.
Drive safely.
They’d always said it, always hugged each other at the door as one of them had been leaving, whispered the words to whoever had been driving. But like so much else it was another thing out of bounds.
Sav, no doubt, felt he’d lost the right to say it, Isla thought as she climbed into her car and started the engine, and in turn how could she say it to him? Sav would take it as a warning, an accusation even.
It hadn’t been his fault.
None of this was anyone’s fault, Isla knew that, knew that, knew that!
She had told herself over and over and had begged, begged Sav to accept that fact.
‘The wrong place at the wrong time’ had been the coroner’s exact words.
No one could have foreseen, least of all Sav, that the car heading towards them had been a time bomb about to explode. Even the poor driver couldn’t have known that as he’d headed along the dual carriageway, the heart attack he’d been dreading since his last cholesterol check was about to ensue, that in a split second two families’ lives would impact with a force that was devastating.
That two families’ lives would be torn apart for ever.
She’d been playing tennis.
Trembling fingers pushed the key into the ignition as for the millionth time the day replayed itself in Isla’s mind, the engine idling as she relived the awful events that had brought her to this point.
Sav had taken a long overdue morning off so she could take an extra tennis lesson. Wow the ladies with her fabulous serve at the comp that weekend!
Had she really been that shallow?
Isla could still see the ball thudding onto the line, hear the kookaburra’s laughing in the treetops, feel the hot midmorning sun blazing on the back of her neck as the police car pulled up, a blue and white car out of place amongst the four-wheel-drives, a stir of interest rippling through the quiet suburban setting. She could feel her hand grip tighter on her racket as two officers got out, could still recall with total clarity the horrible shiver as someone pointed her out to them, taste the bile in her throat as they walked over, her legs dissolving as the news, however gently delivered, hit its mark. That while she’d been hitting a bloody ball over a net, her husband lay trapped in the mangled wreckage of his car, that even now, as strong hands guided her to the waiting vehicle the emergency teams were trying to extricate him.
‘Casey?’
The single question that no one would answer, the appalling wait in some hole of a room as the twins worked innocently on at school, pacing like a caged animal, desperate for answers but silently praying they wouldn’t come.
She could still hear her scream as the doctor came in, feel her friend Louise’s arms around her, even remembered feeling vaguely sorry for Louise that she’d had to arrive at that point, had to witness her friend literally collapse in a heap.
Checking her rear-view mirror as she pulled out of the driveway, Isla’s eyes fixed for a second as they always did on the empty seat, almost willing Casey’s cheeky smile to fill the mirror, for that permanently chocolate-covered mouth to blow her a kiss just as he always did.
Had.
CHAPTER THREE
‘THIS is Isla Ramirez,’ Jayne Davies, the charge nurse who had interviewed her, introduced a blushing Isla to the rest of the early shift. ‘And before you ask, yes, she is related to the great man himself. This is, in fact, Sav’s wife. No doubt some of you have already met her at some of Emergency’s dos.’
The rather vague interest in the new nurse upped a notch then, and Isla blushed even more as not only did the gathered throng of nurses stare rather more closely but a couple of doctors, who were writing their notes at the nurses’ station, looked up, clearly interested to see what the woman behind the great man looked like.
‘Anyway, I’m sure Isla doesn’t want her marital status to interfere with anything, so now we’ve got that bit of gossip out of the way, we’ll let Hannah get started on the handover.’
> It might not have been the most sensitive of introductions, but it was probably the most sensible.
Over and done with.
Yes, she was Sav’s wife, but here she was just another nurse and that was exactly the way Isla wanted it.
The handover was fairly short, as the department was practically empty. Unlike the wards, where Isla had done the occasional shift over the last few years, an emergency room handover didn’t involve sitting in an office with a mug of coffee, writing down every patient’s ailment and treatment, because Emergency was a constantly evolving process so most of the handover was spent staring at the massive whiteboard which Hannah updated as she spoke, wiping out names or adding various treatments a doctor had ordered.
‘The waiting room just has a few people in it, mostly waiting for X-Ray to open. B-bay only has two patients. Mrs Ivy Dullard, 82 years of age, fell at home yesterday onto the coffee table and lay on the floor for approximately eight hours until her neighbour stopped by. She arrived in the department at 10 p.m. last night. A cantankerous old girl.’ Hannah grinned. ‘Thinks we’re all out to steal her savings or rob her of her “last shred of dignity”—Mrs Dullard’s words, not mine. Anyway, our main concern was her acute abdomen, but she’s had a CT and that shows a small splenic haematoma, which the surgeons just want to observe.’
‘In English for the students, please,’ Jayne broke in.
‘Sorry.’ Hannah grinned again. ‘Mrs Dullard has a small collection of blood on her spleen and possibly a small tear. There is a chance that could extend, which would mean she’d need surgery, but at this stage she’ll be observed.’
‘Thanks.’ Jayne nodded. ‘What else?’
‘Her other major problem on arrival was a shortened, externally rotated left leg. X-rays confirmed that she’d sustained a fractured neck of femur. She’s nil by mouth on a six-hourly IV, we’ve given her morphine for pain, but she’s still a bit agitated. We’re hoping to get her up to Theatre soon….’
‘How soon?’ Jayne asked perceptively. ‘She’s already been here over nine hours now. She should be waiting on the ward, where she’d be more comfortable.’
‘There isn’t…’ Hannah started, giving a rueful smile as the whole entourage chimed in with the final two words—‘a bed’.
‘Fair enough.’ Jayne shook her head. ‘But let’s hope that Theatre rings down soon. You know how Sav feels about the emergency department being used as a holding bay. What are the Orthos doing now?’
‘They’ve been operating through the night. We had two multiple injuries from a traffic accident last night. To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if they wait for the next shift to perform Mrs Dullard’s op. One other thing. She had a blood alcohol reading of nought point three when she came in, which isn’t much, but given she’d been on the floor for quite some time, no doubt alcohol was a contributing factor to the fall. Still, she’s fairly settled now, hopefully she’ll be off to the ward soon.’
‘Any relatives?’ Isla asked automatically, and then snapped her mouth closed. But no one seemed remotely bothered by her assertion. In fact, Hannah gave a grateful nod.
‘Good point. Sorry. Just the neighbour. She came in with Ivy and seemed very concerned, but Ivy made it very clear that we weren’t to give her any information and sent her packing within the hour.
‘Anyway, moving on. In Resus we’ve got Mr Jack Campbell, forty-six-year-old with central chest pain. No previous history. Ross Bowden, who’s on for Cardiology, is looking at him now. He’s had some morphine and Maxalon and for now at least he seems pretty comfortable—and that’s your happy family.’
Isla stood uncomfortably as Jayne allocated the staff to their various areas before turning her attention to the newest recruit.
‘Feeling nervous?’
‘Surprisingly, no.’ Isla grinned. ‘And considering how terrified I was this morning, it’s hard to believe. Now I’m here, it feels as if I’ve never been away. There’s still the age-old problem of finding beds and theatre space…’
‘You did a fair bit of emergency work, didn’t you?’
Isla nodded. ‘I did my grad year in emergency, and then I did the advanced trauma course at the trauma centre. Not that I’ve put it to much use. I fell pregnant midway through it.’
‘With the twins?’ Jayne smiled. ‘So you’ve been away from nursing for seven years.’
‘A long seven years,’ Isla admitted. ‘I’ve been on the wards occasionally, but I haven’t set foot in Emergency in all that time. I struggle to keep up with the television shows sometimes.’
‘You’ll be fine.’ Jayne laughed. ‘There’s new equipment, new drugs, new treatments and more politics, of course, but the patients are pretty much the same. You’ll soon be back in the swing of things.’
‘I hope so.’
‘So what made you decide to come back?’
Isla gave a small shrug, consoling herself that for the most part she was talking the truth. She was hardly in a position to tell Jayne the real reason for her return. ‘I’ve always loved emergency nursing, I’ve always missed it, and now the boys are at school it seemed like a good time.’
‘It’s a great time.’ Jayne gave her a wide-eyed look. ‘Believe me, an emergency nurse with your skills, however much they need updating, is more than welcome here. Now, how do you want to play this, Isla? A gentle start in the clinics or straight in the deep end out here with me?’
Isla hesitated, but only for a second. ‘The deep end sounds good.’
‘Great.’ Jayne gave an appreciative nod. ‘That’s the best way, in my opinion. Kerry’s in Resus today. If anything good comes in, you’re more than welcome to go in and watch.’
Isla nodded, even managed a wry smile at Jayne’s choice of words. ‘Good’ to an emergency nurse meant dramatic, gory or life-threatening—preferably all three.
‘Now, a quick run-down of the doctors on this morning. Garth’s the intern, new, eager, hasn’t a clue, but doesn’t mind being told. Heath’s the registrar, thinks he knows everything.’ Jayne rolled her eyes, and Isla did the same. ‘In fairness, he’s pretty on the ball, just doesn’t like to be told…’ Her voice petered out and Isla understood why as a rather good-looking blond man waltzed past and gave a brief wave. ‘Morning, Heath!’ Jayne called, and Isla’s forehead furrowed as she tried to place his vaguely familiar face.
‘He looks familiar. I must have seen him when I’ve called in to see Sav.’
‘No doubt you’ve heard about him,’ Jayne added in a low whisper, and Isla gave a small nod. ‘Still, it seems to have all settled down, but just bear history in mind, especially when Heath finds out that you’re Sav’s wife. Which brings me to the man himself. I’m sure you don’t need to be told what a great guy he is—on the ball, easygoing, great to work with…’
‘The real version, please, Jayne.’ Isla grinned. ‘I’m not his wife here, remember?’
‘I’m giving you the real version,’ Jayne replied, oblivious to the small frown starting to pucker Isla’s brow. ‘Of course he can let rip with that gorgeous Latin temper every once in a while if things aren’t moving along as they should be, but he’s such a honey, we all forgive him.
‘Right, I’m going to ring Theatre and see what’s happening. Maybe you could run a set of obs on Mrs Dullard and then I’ll give you a guided tour.’ As Isla made to go, Jayne called her back. ‘Isla, if anything comes in, anything that you feel…’
‘I’ll be fine, Jayne,’ Isla answered softly, knowing what Jayne was referring to and grateful to her for raising the difficult subject. ‘At least I hope I’ll be fine. I suppose I won’t really know till it happens.’
‘Look, if you weren’t Sav’s wife, I wouldn’t know about Casey, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. Maybe I shouldn’t have raised it—’
‘You were right to,’ Isla broke in. ‘I’m actually glad that you did.’ She took a deep breath before going on. ‘I’ve only done the occasional shift on the wards since I had chil
dren, but since Casey died I haven’t worked a single shift. All I know is that emergency nursing is what I’m good at, what I’m trained to do, and if I don’t come back to it now then I never will.’
‘I’m here.’ Jayne gave her a small smile. ‘I know you’ve got Sav here and everything, but sometimes it’s nice to unload on someone who’s not so directly involved. So if something upsets you or you feel you’re not coping just let me know.’
‘Thanks.’ Isla didn’t look up, tears stinging her eyes.
‘I’ve upset you,’ Jayne said, but Isla shook her head.
‘You haven’t upset me at all. In fact, I’m grateful to you for bringing it up. I’m sure there will be times…’ Her voice trailed off and Isla gave a small shake of her head. ‘Let’s just leave it there, but honestly, Jayne, I do appreciate you talking about this with me.’
It did feel as if she had never been away. OK, the blood-pressure cuffs were all automatic now, and glass thermometers seemed to have been relegated to museum pieces, but from her stints on the wards the equipment was for the most part familiar, and Isla felt her confidence increase as she accepted a few new patients from Triage and attempted to chat to Mrs Dullard while she recorded her half-hourly observations. A frail, emaciated-looking lady she might look, but there was a fire in her eyes that Isla instantly warmed to, a wary, proud defiance that Isla found endearing.
Isla liked elderly people, which should have been par for the course in nurses, but some, Isla thought, rushed past too quickly. It was their loss, she figured, because for the most part taking the time to listen, to draw from that knowledgeable pool was more reward than any pay packet, more satisfying than any neatly written notes at the end of the shift.
Especially when they were as old and as delightfully eccentric as Ivy Dullard! But Isla’s gentle chatter evoked little response for the first hour or so. Ivy’s beady eyes watched Isla’s every move, but her little pink mouth stayed firmly closed.
Emergency--A Marriage Worth Keeping Page 3