I nodded down at the knuckles on my punching hand where the Counselor’s thorns had pierced my skin. Blackened holes dotted the tops like scabs as if the darkness that might exist inside me was leaking out my pores to harden into a visible kind of truth. Flinching, I hid my hand behind my back, away from Tram. Away from myself.
Lily came forward to stand next to her brother as she pocketed her ash tree key. The pink leaf necklace at her throat pulsed with the flickering lava light. Tram’s green one rested against the hollow of his throat above his matching sweatshirt.
You didn’t run away, Leigh, Lily thought.
And I know you fought hard, Tram added. Because that’s just who you are. I could feel every second of the battle when your roots slid past you in the middle of the Trinity trees. You did all you could.
But in the end, it wasn’t enough. Had I really fought as hard as I could? Or had the darkness that had crawled inside me made me crave death and the resulting power? Had it weakened my resolve to save myself and everyone else? I didn’t know for sure, might never know.
What are you doing right now? Tram asked, stepping closer. He grazed his fingers around to my elbow, and I expected it to trigger my heartbeat into a frenzy, but it never did. I didn’t have one, and I missed it. Only his steady gaze pinned me to the spot like it always did. What have you been doing since you arrived in the Core?
Trying not to be even deader than I already am?
Fighting, he said, nodding. Fighting the Counselor. Fighting to save your friends and family. Even fighting your own death. That’s not darkness inside of you, Leigh. That’s stubbornness and love and everything that makes you…you. Maybe One and Ica did put something inside you to give you the illusion of darkness within yourself, but maybe it’s not real. Maybe it was just part of their game. Only you can tell by what you choose to do next.
All this time Tram had been a hot Yoda philosopher, and I didn’t even know it.
Who? Tram asked with a trace of a smile in his voice.
Grrr. This whole inside my head thing was getting embarrassingly old.
She thinks you’re a green dude with pointy ears, Lily said. And hot, too, which is scary freaky because we’re all dead. It’s like narcolepsy or something.
It’s necrophilia, Lily, and ew. And suddenly I was transported back to the lunch line in Krapper High School’s cafeteria, perpetually stuck behind her and Megan. Somehow that memory of being alive filled me with hope, that maybe boring school days could somehow be a part of my future again. It was weird how much I missed everything about life.
How do we get out of here? I asked. How do we go back to the way things were before?
Lily took one of the lava candles from the wall and held it in front of her as if to study me better. So, you want to continue fighting?
Yes. Always.
It was such a simple answer, one I would seriously have to wonder about if I had thought anything different. I was my mother’s daughter, after all, the same woman who made excellent pancakes and also single-handedly caught the darkest Sorceress who ever lived. It wasn’t in my genetic make-up to give up, and as if to remind me of that, a shot of heat sizzled across my hand.
Tram and I both jerked. He must’ve felt it, too, and I knew without a doubt it had been Callum. If I could inhale, I would surely smell cinnamon. Panic stormed up the base of my neck and lifted every hair.
Callum’s in trouble. We have to go, I thought and crashed in the direction I’d come toward the tunnel.
And if Callum needed help, Jo likely did, too. There had to be a reason he was outside touching a tree and not inside the safety of the hawthorn twigs and lilac petals surrounding their house. I couldn’t imagine the horrors they were facing because it might buckle my knees, but if I didn’t make it to them in time… A sense of helplessness weighted my shoulders, slowing my steps, but I shrugged it off.
No more thinking. I needed to get out of here, to somehow fix the problems topside, and make everything right again. For now, that was all the plan I needed.
Light footsteps sounded behind me through the tunnel—two pairs of them. As if we were connected by death, I sensed Tram and Lily, their worry almost as palpable as my own.
The farther we went, the faster Callum stampeded into my mind, similar to how he always managed to do, in high definition. His brown eyes that caught his smile before his mouth. The rip at the neck in his t-shirts. His constant bed-head. How he had been by my side these last few weeks, the parrot to my pirate, even when I thought I didn’t want him to be. I did, though, a lot, and the power of that want crushed my chest with a desperate, pinching heaviness.
Oh! Lily thought.
A familiar orange light glowed at the end of the tunnel. The three of us burst out and onto the strange bridge once again. My red roots still snaked across the floor where I left them, and the eerie feeling that something else was here with us crawled across my shoulders.
Lily stared at me, the lava candle still gripped in her hands, and I immediately looked away. If she didn’t know my true feelings for her best friend’s ex-boyfriend, she sure did now. I didn’t hear any nasty thoughts coming from her, though; just a sense of warmth and understanding. Deep down, she must know that Midol Megan had always been a pain in my ass.
And Tram… His stoic gaze captured mine for a second, but it was long enough to send me a single thought:
I know.
Tram… And I had no idea what to say next. Yes, I had feelings for Callum, intense ones engraved on my heart as deeply as the lilacs on the ring he gave me which was still in the pocket of my ripped-up, grimy pants-turned-shorts. But Tram had a special place there, too. My heart, not my pants. OhmyGod, time to stop thinking.
It’s okay, Leigh, Tram said, and a tinkle of laughter rang with his words instead of the Counselor’s warning bells. My place is here now.
Your… It is?
I hear there’s a Trammeler position available. Lily tilted her head. Interested?
You mean…
Tram nodded. We’re staying here.
Someone has to rule the Core, Lily said.
It needs to be done right this time, by people who haven’t been corrupted by dark magic, Tram added.
I ticked my gaze between them, brother and sister and so much more. You two.
Lily’s turn to nod. And we’ll need an official Trammeler to capture the escaped Sorceresses to put them under roots until we can convict them to the Core.
Me.
Tram touched my fingertips with his own. Only if you want it. There won’t be any restrictions. You can quit when you want. You can wear what you want. There won’t be any bells ringing when you laugh or…kiss or…anything.
Whoa. Me as the official Trammeler. A fifteen year-old-girl who couldn’t even keep her combat boots tied. A dead Trammeler Sorceress.
But I’m dead.
So are the escaped prisoners, Lily said with a shrug. From the pocket of her blood-stained silk shirt, she pulled a small glass tube that glimmered red in the dull light.
Trinity blood? I asked. When Tram nodded, a ball of doubt formed in my gut.
Immortality. With this, I could live again. This was a huge step, one I didn’t have a lot of time to consider, so I took the vial. Because I could do it. I could be an official Trammeler like Tram had been. I had to do it to try to right all my wrongs, even though I had no idea where to start.
Okay. Such a simple word for a complicated mission, but okay.
But it won’t make you immortal, Lily said. At least, I don’t think it will. I diluted it with some of…some of my mother’s blood, so it’s no longer pure Trinity blood.
I looked down my nose at her. You don’t think it will make me immortal, but you don’t know for sure?
Don’t leap off any tall buildings to test that theory, I guess? Lily said. But don’t worry, there aren’t any lilies in it to kill you if you’ve done dark magic like Aneska.
Good to know.
And Leigh?
/>
Yeah?
She grazed the petals of the lily stuck behind her ear. Tell my parents I love them.
I nodded at the girl that maybe, possibly, I could’ve been good friends with if only we had more time. I will.
Tram stepped forward while Lily sank her eyes closed, her thoughts quieting.
This isn’t goodbye, Our Trammeler, Tram said. I’ll convict prisoners to the Core you capture in your cages, faster than the Counselor did or you’ll run out of space. You’ll still see me below your roots.
But not in the sunlight where a soft breeze could turn his curls to gold. Not ever again.
I wish it didn’t have to be this way, I said, taking his hand in mine.
Drink it. Tram touched the bloody letters printed across my ripped-up shirt that read Girrrl as if to memorize them, as if this really was goodbye, because despite what he said, it was. Live.
But what if the Trinity blood did make me immortal? What if the dilution of Gretchen’s blood made the darkness that might still lurk inside me even darker? How would that make me any different than the Counselor?
I scraped my darkened knuckles up my back as if to tear away what could start growing from them at any second. Could I trust myself with this responsibility? Did I have a choice? There had been so many times in my life when I didn’t know if I was making the right decision, and this one seemed like the Godzilla of them all.
But I lifted the topper off the blood vial and tipped the contents down my throat.
Leigh
The blood from the vial tasted like nothing, like a few syrupy drops of air.
Okay, I said. Now what?
The bridge rumbled, and the dirt on its surface bounced and shook around like millions of jumping beans. Cracks zigzagged underneath our feet and ended at a large hole several yards away. Tram’s roots, red like mine, stretched the hole open wider, then slithered out to wind around mine on the ground in a playful dance.
While I was distracted with watching them, Tram swept me up in his arms like he always did when we were about to tunnel underground. It didn’t seem to matter how many times I told him I could walk just fine on my own without him carrying me, but this time, down here, filled me with a sense of hope that we were finally moving closer to a solution. I clung to it, and him, as tight as I could.
Now, we go up. His eyes seemed to spark a brighter blue, like they’d turned a deeper green with his shifts in mood when he was alive, then he turned to Lily. Coming, Lily?
Something about the way he said it was so protective, so brotherly, that I turned to Lily, too, just to see her reaction. She fingered the pink leaf necklace at her throat, then held it close to her heart with her chin raised.
I will…brother. She thought it as if she was testing how it sounded, if it felt right, and she must’ve decided it did because she pushed Tram closer to the hole. After you.
Tram dropped inside, and my stomach didn’t jump into my throat like it usually did. My death had killed that initial panic of free-falling, and I missed it. It had been such a rush, that and the actual tunneling part, feeling the wind whip my hair and the grit sand-blasting my face.
Now, I could keep my eyes open, but the stinging exhilaration was gone. Tram’s roots tunneled higher and higher, or lower and lower, since directions in the Core didn’t seem to make any sense.
I willed him to hurry, but apprehension flared through my veins. My imagination, the real bitch that it was, flashed me all sorts of scenes we could discover topside: people screaming, people dead, and all the escaped magical beings causing brutal mayhem and laughing it up. But somehow, I didn’t think I could prepare myself for what I might find. And I had no idea how to make it right again other than Tram and Lily’s belief in me.
Callum was definitely priority number one. I had been maybe sixty-three percent sure he and Jo would be fine as long as they stayed inside the circle of hawthorn twigs and lilac petals around their house. Way better than zero percent sure, but if they weren’t safe, then what about Dad and Darby?
I dug my fingers deeper into Tram’s neck. Hurry.
We soon came to an abrupt stop before any sign of daylight or a breeze sifted into the tunnel. Tram’s roots twisted and creaked through the dirt while they waited for his next command. He continued to cradle me against him as he looked down at my face, his eyes like twin blue stars in the night sky.
Lily came up next to us, her footsteps silent in the soft earth. Ready?
Tram gave a reluctant nod, and I wished with all my heart that ruling the Core didn’t have to be his responsibility to take. He gently set me on my feet, and I faced Lily, ready as I would ever be.
She stepped to my side, close enough as if to whisper in my ear, and traced the candle’s flame with her fingertip. The light chases away the dark. The light commands. But the light has a weakness in its spark. A single burst of air, and I will do what the dark demands. Seconds later, she blew the candle out. Even though the flame was made from lava. Even though she had no breath.
This is dark magic, Lily, I warned.
It has to be done.
If you work the spell on yourselves, will you be immortal? I asked. You drank the Trinity blood, too. You could come with me. Desperation filled the voice in my head even though I knew what they were doing, what they were sacrificing, was the right thing.
The Counselors of Death aren’t supposed to be alive. This spell is for you and you alone, Tram said tenderly. Go on, Lily.
She eyed me through the curling smoke as if waiting for me to change my mind, but when I didn’t, she continued. Tick-tock, tick-tock, for darkness is bound by mere hours. The sun will rise once more, weakening the dark’s powers. But at night, what is done cannot be undone, yet one last gift to the dead can restore the semblance of breath. Break the binds that tie you to death.
Something slammed against my ribcage in quick, stuttering jolts. A roar filled my head and rushed energy to my toes and back again, faster and faster, until my body seemed to vibrate. I slapped my hand into Tram’s to steady myself, and with the other, tried to catch the heartbeat that now raced in time with my flowing blood. With Trinity blood. With Gretchen’s blood. With my Trammeler Sorceress blood.
The blue radiance inside my eyes winked out, and complete darkness pressed in. I heaved in a breath, actually inhaled for the first time in who knew how long, and the smell of damp earth and the rotten flesh of Tram and Lily assaulted my nose. Tears burned my eyes, and my throat pulled tight as a prickly sensation worked to my fingertips.
At the same time life entered my body, something powerful, something great and terrifying all at once exited in a rush. Death.
I choked out a groan, a real one that didn’t just exist inside my head, and I clutched Tram’s hand tighter when I didn’t hear his or Lily’s voices anymore.
Nonsensical whispers swirled around their glowing blue eyes. They were speaking, but I couldn’t understand because I wasn’t one of them. Not anymore.
But I didn’t need to comprehend their whispers to know what was happening. They were sending me back so I could find a way to live as a Trammeler Sorceress, and they could rule the Core together as brother and sister. Who else could effectively do it? Who else would make it their life’s work to see to it that the Core never opened again? Definitely not Gretchen or One. There weren’t any other possibilities, and that fact made me squeeze Tram’s hand even harder.
I reached out for Lily, too, and crushed her cold, sandpapery fingers into mine. While standing in the lunch line behind her and Megan, I would’ve never pegged her for such a selfless person. But that was before I found out she’d brought mine and Sarah’s yards back to life and had tried to warn Sarah’s parents about burying her in the middle of the Trinity trees. It proved that jumping to conclusions about someone was a complete waste of time.
Both of them were beyond brave for stepping up like this, for giving up their own lives, though maybe they didn’t think they had much of a choice. No, that wasn’t rig
ht. Everyone had a choice. Including me. And I chose to give one last gift to the dead, to Tram and Lily, to Mom. I would give them me so I could make everything right.
“I’ll fix this,” I said, and my voice quivered because I still had no idea how.
Tram slid his hand from mine, and with stiff movements, he stepped away, his bluish gaze never leaving my face.
Lily unhinged her bony fingers from my death grip and moved to stand beside Tram. Then, without any warning, their whispers went silent and their blue eyes blinked out. Gone, leaving me all alone to face an uncertain future.
I had never felt the crushing weight of the world as much as I did right then.
At my command, my roots broke from the ground and wormed a tunnel upward. Bleak gray light slanted through about twenty feet above, but whether it was dawn or dusk, I had no idea. My roots had lost their crimson color—I guessed because we weren’t in the Core anymore—and tunneled while gently tracing my arms and legs to guide me in the right direction. Soon it felt as if I was flying. I just hoped I wasn’t too late to save Callum and everyone else, and to piece the world back together again.
The higher the roots climbed, the more artificial the light became. This was different. Where had the roots taken me? Back to Krapper, I hoped.
I launched myself the few feet up to the opening of the hole and scurried out. Squinting into the glaring brightness, I took stock of my surroundings.
Spilled plastic movie cases from overturned racks lay scattered across the floor. Had I done this with my not-so-graceful entrance? Something told me no. The store was empty, but the lights were on. Someone, or several someones, had left in a hurry. From the pentagon shape of the building, I could tell that this was the video store down the street from the graveyard.
A display leaning on another one blocked my view of the glass doors, so I slowly, carefully pushed myself to my feet. Not because I didn’t want to see outside but because something didn’t feel right.
“Hel—?” My voice sounded like I’d swallowed a good portion of Earth and had been dead a while, so I doubled over to hack it all out and to remind myself to breathe at regular intervals, at least enough to speak. Telepathy really had its advantages sometimes.
The Trinity Bleeds (The Grave Winner Book 3) Page 10