Clayton chuckled, pulling Caitlin close to his side. His eyes were brimming with devilishment. “If you hadn’t come to your senses when you did, you may have been the one who ended up as her brother-in-law. I would’ve been her husband. Does that thought bother you, Dex?”
Caitlin’s heart lurched at Clayton’s question. She wondered why he was baiting his brother. She also wondered how Dex would answer the question, if he responded at all. She was surprised when he did.
“Yeah, Clayton. The thought of Caitlin with any other man bothers me.”
Caitlin took a deep breath, not sure how she should take Dex’s response. The set of his jaw was stern and the slant of his eyes was hard, dispassionate, almost angry. She was frozen in place under his forceful gaze.
She jumped when she heard a door close upstairs. Turning around, she realized Clayton had left them alone. She turned back to Dex. “Why did Clayton leave?”
Dex shrugged. “Just ignore him. Clayton’s into playing games these days.”
She lifted a brow. “Oh? And what game is Clayton playing?”
“Patch-up. For some reason he thinks all our marriage needs is patching up. I tried telling him it’s beyond repair, but he won’t believe me.”
“I see,” she replied softly. Although she knew he was telling the truth, his words had hurt. “Where’s Jordan?” She glanced around the room. “Hasn’t Ms. Logan returned yet?”
Dex nodded. “She brought Jordan home around five o’clock. I gave her a bath then put her to bed a few minutes ago. She wanted to see you after her bath so we sneaked into your room. She gave you a good-night kiss.”
Caitlin frowned. “I must have really been sacked out. I don’t remember the two of you coming into my bedroom.”
I certainly do, Dex thought as his mind conjured up the image of Caitlin lying in bed. She had removed the black dress she’d worn to the funeral and was sleeping atop the covers in a sexy black teddy. His eyes had devoured her long smooth, shapely legs, her small waist, the fullness of her curvaceous hips and the firmness of her breasts.
No longer did she have the figure of a young girl, but possessed the enticing shape of a woman. All of which he knew had come about as a result of giving birth to their child. He hadn’t wanted to want her, but he had. He had felt a throbbing ache within him so keen that he’d been tempted to remove her scanty clothing and run his hand over her body, reacquainting himself with it. Jordan’s presence had been the only thing that had prevented him from doing just that. His desire for Caitlin hadn’t changed. The past four years hadn’t been able to erase that. If anything, the years had sharpened his hunger and desire for her.
“Did Clayton get a chance to look at the divorce papers?”
Caitlin’s question brought Dex’s mind back to the present. He closed his eyes momentarily in an overwhelming sense of relief. His wayward thoughts were destined to get him in trouble. “Yes,” he replied.
She turned to stare at him. “And?”
Dex shrugged. “We don’t have to go into this tonight, Caitlin. You’ve been through enough for one day. Let’s just wait until tomorrow to—”
“No, Dex. I’d like to know now.”
Dex’s eyes narrowed like dark slits. “Why the rush?” he asked harshly. “Is there someone waiting for you in Fort Worth that you’re anxious to get back to?”
“Of course not.”
Dex eyed her speculatively to determine the truth of her answer. The thought that she might be involved with someone else made his guts twist into knots. “Since the issue of our marital status isn’t a pressing concern tonight, let’s discuss it tomorrow. Good-night, Caitlin.” He stared at her for another second before turning and mounting the stairs two at a time.
Hours later Dex was still wide awake, his body was consumed with anger. Forcing air out of his lungs, mounting fury stole its way over his body. He closed his eyes in an attempt to stop it.
In frustration, he snatched his eyes back open. All he could see when he had closed them was Caitlin in another man’s arms, being touched by him, being kissed by him and being caressed…
He gritted his teeth. “Calm down, man. No woman is worth this much trouble, this much pain.”
He turned his head toward the window. The full moon’s glow was shining through and illuminated the room in a pale luster of light. A sudden shiver ran through his tall frame as memories flooded his mind. There had also been a full moon in the sky on their wedding night. A night that had been full of so much joy, love and promises.
During the midnight hour and early morning he’d awakened and had reached out for Caitlin. Again and again she’d come to him willingly, satisfying him more than any woman he’d ever known.
But then, no other woman had given him such pain, something he could never forget. Clayton had tried to convince him that time would ease the pain and soften the anger. But there was something time could not do, and that was to turn itself back. Nor could time restore his bruised male ego her rejection had caused.
In the morning they were to sit down with Clayton and discuss the state of their marital status. Married or divorced, their daughter would always be their connecting link, and they would never really be free of each other.
Dex’s mouth tightened. Who was he kidding? Had he ever really been free of Caitlin? Over the past four years he’d thrown himself into his work until exhaustion racked his body. And no matter how much he’d tried, he hadn’t been able to completely exorcise her from his mind. He admitted he hadn’t lived a celibate life since they’d been apart, but there hadn’t been anyone he’d gotten serious about. All his affairs—if you wanted to call them that—had been casual. Any woman he’d become involved with had known the relationship was a dead end. And deep down a part of him blamed Caitlin for it.
Dex took a deep breath. There was no use trying to sleep. It was out of the question tonight. Getting out of bed, he slipped into a pair of jeans and went downstairs to catch a late-night movie on television.
Caitlin sighed, looking into her cup of warm milk. Tonight she couldn’t sleep. A knot formed in her throat as she glanced around the huge, spacious kitchen. Even when her mother had been alive, the kitchen had been her father’s domain. He enjoyed doing all of the cooking, and they’d enjoyed eating all of the dishes he had prepared.
“Is something wrong, Caitlin?”
Caitlin jumped, almost spilling the milk on herself. Her heart started beating wildly and a funny feeling settled in the bottom of her stomach when she turned to face Dex. He was watching her curiously through dark eyes.
“No, nothing’s wrong. I just had a hard time sleeping.”
Dex stood paused at the doorway, his tall frame almost filling it. “What’re you drinking?”
Caitlin’s fingers tightened on her cup. “Warm milk. Would you like some?”
“No,” he answered stiffly. “I prefer something stronger.”
Caitlin nodded. “Couldn’t you sleep, either?”
Dex’s gaze rested on her. His face expressionless. “No.”
Caitlin began to feel ill at ease. They were acting like polite strangers. She was suddenly struck with the realization that they were two strangers.
She turned her head to take a better look at him. He was wearing a pair of jeans that rode low on his hips, and his dark chest was bare. As she continued to stare at him, her mind replayed memories. Memories of his touch, his taste and how he had taught her the physical meaning of love. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to blot out the memories from her mind.
“Caitlin, are you sure you’re all right?”
She forced herself to look back at him. She saw concern on his face. “I’m fine. I think I’ll go back to bed now.” She stood to leave.
“No, don’t go yet.”
Caitlin didn’t miss the husky timbre of his voice or the hot glow of desire shining in his eyes. She watched him slowly advance toward her and gasped at the tingling sensation spreading through her body. The next thing she knew
he was standing directly in front of her.
Dex gently cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over her bottom lip. Caitlin retreated but he took a step forward recovering the distance. She caught her breath when his thumb parted her lips. His eyes held hers.
“I’ll never forget the day I opened that packet and saw those divorce papers and the box with your wedding ring. It tore me in two,” he whispered hoarsely.
His gaze moved from hers and directed their full attention to her lips. “After reading your letter, I knew your decision was final, and there was nothing I could say or do to make you change your mind. I felt totally and thoroughly rejected. But most of all I felt downright betrayed.”
A lump formed in Caitlin’s throat. She stared into the darkness of Dex’s eyes and saw pain and anger completely exposed. The emotions displayed there said it all. He would never forgive her for not coming to him in Australia.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes glazed with tears. “I know an apology is worthless now, but I never meant to hurt you. Please believe I never meant to hurt you.”
Dex stared down at her. His gaze took in the sight of her breasts partially visible above the low cut of her lacy white nightgown, a part her robe didn’t hide.
“But you did hurt me, and you’re right, an apology now is worthless,” he said huskily, removing his hand from her mouth to touch the center of her back. “But this isn’t.”
Then with the slightest of pressure there, he pulled her to him. Her body was warm against his and the smell of her perfume was heady. Beautiful, his mind declared as his eyes consumed her. Her brown face, scrubbed clean of makeup was fresh and lovely. Dex reached up with his free hand and touched her face. “You’re beautiful.”
Caitlin looked up at him. Her mouth throbbed for his. She wanted him to kiss her, to remove all her lingering doubts about the future, the pain she was feeling for the present and the guilt she held of the past. She wanted all of those things destroyed under the onslaught of his kiss.
Dex read her eyes and what he saw in them made his breathing quicken. The look in them was the sign of imminent surrender.
His gaze moved to her mouth. It was a mouth begging to be kissed, and he intended to give it just what it wanted.
Slowly he lowered his head to hers. Their lips touched; cautiously at first, withdrawing slightly, then touched again. Caitlin felt desire flood her body when Dex took control. His tongue hungrily stroked the insides of her mouth.
Passion consumed Dex like a lit explosive. He knew at that moment he would never be free of Caitlin. She was in his blood and in his mind. But he was determined to never let her find a way to his heart again.
Dex pulled his mouth away. He allowed Caitlin a quick breath, then once again captured her lips, dominating her mouth in a relentless assault of his tongue. A faint groan escaped her throat as he made a thorough exploration of her mouth, while his hand boldly caressed her through the soft material of her robe.
The deep recesses of Dex’s mind declared kissing her was not enough. He wanted to bury himself deep within her body. He wanted to make love to her all through the night, wake up with her in his arms and make love to her again in the bright morning light. He wanted to touch her every hour on the hour.
But then another part of his mind, the one that dealt with reality, was determined to shield him from further pain. It reminded him of what she’d done to him four years ago. How she had taken the love he had never given another woman and had made a mockery of it; how she’d rejected him. Those thoughts sharply cut into his passion. Suddenly he stopped kissing her and stepped backward.
“Go to bed, Caitlin.” Dex’s words were sharp and cold. They sent a chill through her body. Her questioning eyes met the icy glow in his.
At that precise moment the kitchen door swung open and Clayton walked in. His eyes registered surprise at seeing them in the kitchen at such a late hour. “Sorry. I didn’t know the two of you were still up.”
Caitlin spoke, her voice shaky, her eyes filled with tears. “Don’t apologize, Clayton. In fact your timing was perfect. Good night.” Noiselessly, she swept by Clayton and out of the kitchen.
Clayton watched her fleeing back. He then turned to his brother, a dark scowl on his face. “What was that all about?”
Dex leaned against the counter. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t fake innocence with me. I’m talking about Caitlin’s tears, not to mention swollen lips belonging to a mouth that’s been kissed. Just what kind of game are you playing with her?”
Dex’s eyes narrowed. “Stay out of this, Clayton. It doesn’t concern you.”
Clayton stared at his brother, attempting to control his anger. “You’re right. It really doesn’t concern me other than the fact Caitlin is family. And you know how protective Madarises are when it comes to family.”
Dex picked up Caitlin’s cup of unfinished milk. Turning to the sink he poured the contents out, rinsed the cup and placed it in the dishwasher. Slamming the dishwasher closed, he turned to face his brother. “Family? Would you care to explain that remark?” he asked harshly.
“Not at all. Like I told you, there’s a good chance that legally Caitlin’s still your wife whether you like it or not. I think once you finally get over your bitterness, and all this anger you’ve been carrying around for the last four years, you’ll realize that other than Jordan, she has no one. With her father’s death, she’s all alone now.”
“And you expect me to cry about it? It was her choice, Clayton,” Dex snapped.
“Yeah, and one you’ll undoubtedly hold against her for the rest of her life. You don’t know how to forgive or let go of past hurts. I think it’s time you tried.”
“Damn it. How can you even think I should forgive her for what she did to me, and what she put me through? I believed in her, Clayton. I trusted her with my heart, I loved her with my entire soul, and I had faith that her love for me would survive the test of time. I was the biggest fool when she chose to stay here with her father and end our marriage. Once destroyed, trust, love and faith can’t ever be recaptured or replaced. It’s impossible for me to ever share those same feelings with her again. There will always be doubt, resentment and heartache no matter what,” he stated in a gruff voice.
Dex let his fist hit against the counter. “I don’t want to care for her again, Clayton. I don’t want to ever love her again. Can’t you see that? The pain went too deep. Caitlin and I can’t ever go back.”
Hearing his brother’s pain so deeply expressed, Clayton felt Dex’s innermost agony. It wasn’t clear to him why he was so obviously sticking his nose where it didn’t belong other than he believed reuniting Dex with Caitlin was the key to his brother’s future happiness. Dex had always been a person who did not do anything half-measure, and that included falling in love. Hopefully, when he put his trampled pride aside, he would realize that deep down he still loved Caitlin. Otherwise, why would there be so much pain, even now? As far as Clayton was concerned Dex needed Caitlin in his life. But right now, the concepts of forgiving, letting go of the past and moving ahead were foreign to him.
Clayton gave Dex a halfhearted smile. “I know the two of you can’t go back, and as far as I’m concerned you shouldn’t even try. What I suggest is for you and Caitlin to just start over. You have a second chance to start fresh. Get to know her, Dex. Court her properly and build a life with her again. Just put the past behind you once and for all and start over.”
Just start over…
Clayton’s words rang in Dex’s ears. Discarding his jeans he climbed back into bed. Could he and Caitlin actually pull it off? Was there a chance the past could somehow be buried and the future built anew? Did he even want to try? Did she? Could he erase that uneasiness that comes when one’s trust in another has been damaged?
Numerous questions flooded his mind. He knew he couldn’t consider a future with Caitlin until he was able to deal with his inner turmoil and doubts, but most
of all, his anger. His thoughts went to his daughter, his beautiful little girl. He knew he owed her a chance to have a normal family life, which meant some sort of reconciliation with Caitlin.
A whispered sigh escaped Dex’s lips. There were a lot of things about his relationship with Caitlin that he’d never dwelled on before. Caitlin was right when she’d said they really didn’t know each other. Yes, they had married…and as it turned out probably still were, and they had conceived a child. But they really didn’t know each other. He didn’t know her favorite color, hobbies, type of music or her favorite food; the things married couples should know about each other.
Had they really known each other four years ago, they could have been spared a lot of pain and anguish. He would’ve been better able to deal with her emotional upheaval brought on by her father’s nonacceptance of their marriage. And he would have known that because of Caitlin’s close relationship with her father, she would have been driven by both guilt and loyalty, and would have felt compelled to stay with Halston at least until he had recuperated. And during that time, she could have somehow convinced her father to accept her love for her husband.
But instead, because she’d been so sure Dex wouldn’t understand and allow her the extra time she needed before joining him in Australia, she’d opted to turn her back on their love and sacrifice her own chance at happiness.
And it appears he may have been slightly mistaken about Caitlin’s level of maturity four years ago. When they had met, she had been a recent college graduate, somewhat naive in the ways of the world, and had just landed her first job away from home. She’d been inexperienced as far as men were concerned and had been forced to choose between the love of a man she’d just met, and that of a loving father who represented the only security she had ever known.
Thinking back now, Dex could almost sympathize with the situation she’d suddenly been placed in. And with belated hindsight, he could see how it had happened. However, he still wasn’t sure a part of him could ever forgive her for not living up to his expectations and for not keeping her promises. But he owed it to their daughter to try. Trying to rebuild their marriage would take a lot of effort on both of their parts, but he was willing to give it his best shot if she was.
Whispered Promises Page 7