by Nirina Stone
But I look up once we’re inside, because more impressive than the colourful marble floors are the books.
I see them before we walk through the massive arched doors of the library. They are lined up at attention, begging to be picked up and flipped through. Some are gilded with gold lettering, many are hardcovers. Several look older than most of the books we destroyed in Azure.
My heart beats faster, and I decide this is where I will spend most of my time when I’m here in Soren City, if they let me out of my room again. This is where I will learn most things, all things, and where I will unlearn a lot of the lies the Prospo fed us. I have a feeling Eric only scratched the surface of what those lies are.
I realize I’m standing in the middle of the library, my mouth wide open, when I hear a soft chuckle behind me and turn around to watch Eric’s amused expression.
“That’s the way everyone reacts when they first come to this place,” he whispers.
“Why are we whispering?” I ask. He points towards a big sign over the door that has the letters, Shhhhhh written over the picture of a little girl, her head bent over a massive hardcover book.
The book is so big, it edges past her knees. It looks far too heavy, but she’s obviously enthralled in the story. I smile at the picture, then look back at Eric’s face.
“It’s an ancient custom,” he explains. “Libraries must always be silent so people can read their books in peace.”
That makes sense. I can imagine getting lost in books with no noisy distractions around me. It’s especially comforting that there isn’t the occasional sound of machinery like the incinerator coming from the back of the library. What a difference.
I inch closer towards the north side of the library, where books are sectioned off in the ‘Historical Literature’ aisle. I stop and turn, realizing Eric is still behind me, when he nods and says, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” I’m off before he gets to change his mind.
I expect he will be nearby to keep an eye on me anyway. I’m still in his charge, after all, but I don’t intend to leave this book haven until I absolutely must. Skimming through the titles in the history aisle, I find so many I don’t recognize. I pick up a small tome about the history of the Great Omni. It isn’t one they have ever shared with us in our official Apex history classes, so I’m sure to learn something new today.
The author is a Mornie Blair, another writer I’ve never heard of. Turning the book over, I admire a close-up picture of Mornie’s face. She looks middle-aged and peers through the cover at me with striking dark blue eyes. They’re definitely her best feature.
Her look towards the camera is intense, bordering on the severe. Her black hair is fashioned in a short blunt cut, and I imagine she was straight-laced and to the point, not someone I would want to argue with.
I flip through the pages quietly and walk towards one of the many large oak tables around the middle of the library. It doesn’t take long to make myself comfortable before I’m reading the book.
For a moment, I find the complete silence in the massive room a distraction. I’m not used to this type of quiet in my life. It’s not like the black closet, when the beating of my heart would be so loud, it drowned out everything most of the time.
It’s not the kind I have in my bedroom on the tenth floor either, where I still hear the occasional cleaningbot skittering across the floors or surfaces.
This is a very bizarre kind of silence. Like I’m in some sort of vacuum and, other than the occasional cough or scrape of a chair, it is still. I hear the blood in my ears, though, like waves crashing on a very distant shore.
My discomfort soon turns into a more relaxed state than I’ve ever felt and I close my eyes to drink it in. I still plan to read the book but, for now, my only goal is to lean into the high-back chair and rest my eyes for a moment.
That’s when someone touches my shoulder and I jump in my seat with a squeal. “Sorry!” I say, far too loudly when other people in the library eye me with frowns on their faces. “Sorry,” I repeat in a loud whisper, and put my right hand up towards them in a plea.
Did I fall asleep? Because I only read one page. I turn and look up, expecting Eric on my side, to indicate that it’s time to go.
It’s not Eric. I’m confused because I’m looking at a swollen, distended belly protruding from the middle of someone’s body. I look up into a face I recognize but can’t place here. The environment does not fit, but it’s definitely my old bunk mate, Knox. The same bunk mate auctioned as a Level C at Azure. The same bunk mate I never thought I’d see again. That must have been over a year and a half ago. What happened to her? Is this some sort of disease? Why is she so swollen?
She looks fine otherwise, healthy.
Her skin is luminous, her face more full and flush than it ever was at Azure. She smiles at me and whispers a “Hello Romy,” as she places her hand back on my shoulder.
Maybe I did fall asleep after all, and this is some sort of dream? Or a nightmare? I still eye her swollen belly suspiciously. I’ve never seen anyone in such a state, and it looks like it should hurt, or that she should be lying down somewhere. Far away. Away from the eyes of the public, surely.
I’m terrified of what could be going on with her. She follows my eyes and pulls her hand away from my shoulder to rest under her right hand, which is sitting right on top of the massive bulge, almost protectively.
What in the world is going on here? I can’t speak, though I want to scream.
“I’m pregnant, Romy,” she whispers with a smile.
Then Eric is beside her and they hug. They’re speaking in that funny musical language again. I look from Eric’s face to Knox’s, to the swell where her abdomen should be.
Why is no one else reacting the same way I am? I’m so confused, I stay still until Eric faces me. “We should go have a chat. Let’s go get some hot chocolate, shall we?”
We’re sitting at what Eric tells me is a cafe, as we wait for our cups of hot chocolate. I’m looking forward to the drink, but am still watching Knox’s belly with trepidation. They tell me she’s four months pregnant, which confuses me more. I’ve never actually seen a ‘pregnant’ human female before, and the idea repulses me.
From what I understand about pregnancy and all the process about childbirth, females are brought into fertility centers and are attached to machines from the Ivy Heff procedure to ten or so months later, until they have given birth.
They don’t walk around like Knox is clearly doing now. They do not show up in public. Or they’re not supposed to. It’s considered offensive. These Sorens are a strange people, and so far, a lot of what I’ve seen about them just does not—compute.
“Does it hurt?” It’s the first thing I think to ask, after our hot chocolates arrive.
“No,” she answers heartily. “It’s like a bit of pressure, and it kicks me sometimes, but it doesn’t actually hurt.”
Kicks? “It kicks you?” I ask, disgusted. “Like, from inside you?” It sounds so unnatural, so painful, so bizarre, and I simply can’t hide the grimace on my face.
Eric chuckles at me. He leans towards Knox and says, “I remember when you used to react that way, and look at you now!”
“I know,” she replies, looking lovingly down at her belly. “This is my second… well, and third. I’m having two!” She sips from her cup, her eyes on me.
By Odin, this is too weird. I’ll need to go lie down after this new development. The queasiness is back again and I dig my finger into my Alto to ease it. It’s a trick I learnt in my room—it hurts, but seems to help stem the nausea some.
“I thought female vessels were all supposed to be bedridden until birth,” I finally say, knowing as I utter it—this is yet another lie from the medical books and stories in Apex.
I catch a quick glance between them, then Eric raises an eyebrow. “Not ‘vessels,’ Romy. Pregnant women. There is so much, Romy, so much you will learn here. So much more than that, but no, most women don’t need t
o be bedridden for the entire time they are pregnant.”
“In fact,” Knox pipes up, “it’s healthier for the mother and the baby for the mom to go about her life normally. I can’t run around too much or carry heavy things really, but movement is key.”
“Why—” I ask. Again, the Prospo’s motivation eludes me. “Why would they tell us it’s necessary to stay locked up in some Fertility Center?”
Mother never told me about her stay in one of those centers. She always said, “I’d rather remember your birth and everything about you since,” and would give me a quick hug to dismiss the question.
Eric’s amused look is gone now. He’s back to his serious interviewing self. “We don’t know the exact origin,” he says, “but we’re certain it’s yet another form of control they have over us.”
“The same way,” Knox says, “they keep telling us we’re unhealthy and incurable.”
I think of my heart again. My heart that’s supposed to be weak, not strong enough to allow me to run too far for too long and I flinch.
Eric is still watching me. “They are keen to have us believe, and I mean us as in Citizens and Sorens. They’re keen to have us believe we are inferior in every way.”
Again, I’m wondering why? Why do they want us to think we’re less, all the time? We are already poor. We are already numbered, not important enough to hold names. We are already unlucky enough, compared to them in their glass high-rises. We already serve them and never get the same opportunities as they do. What more do they want from us?
Before I say another word, Eric reads my face and says, “Think about it, Romy.”
I am. I try to break down what I know. We could always discern who was Prospo by the fact that they had family names and we were numbered.
But I have a family name. It’s Mason.
They are not more or less healthy than we are, given that we all have nanobots in our bodies. They only have additional technology we don’t have access to, which allows them to heal faster.
I can hear Knox and Eric speaking in the musical language in the background as I’m mulling through my thoughts.
They have land, I decide, drinking the last bit of my hot chocolate.
“They own property and land,” I voice my thoughts, finally. “And they have money. Old money.”
“Without those,” Eric says, smiling, “how are they superior to you?”
They’re not, I decide. Without those, the Prospo are nothing more than the Citizens.
“Without those,” I echo, “we are all exactly the same.” The words sound simple enough, but it’s not something I grew up knowing. It’s not something my mind wants to adopt as fact. That I could be the same as—well, as a Diamond, of all people? I don’t have the same rights as they do, but we’re all the same.
“Exactly,” Knox confirms, smiling at me.
“See?” Eric says. “I told you you’re clever.”
I can feel my face flush as he smiles, and Knox giggles. I’ve never heard her giggle before, not once in the three years we were bunk mates. I look at her in awe. If she did not approach me in the library, I would not have recognized her at all. This life she has with the Sorens definitely suits her.
After a few minutes, and they have both finished their hot chocolate, Knox says, “Oh hey, have you walked through the forest yet?”
Eric excuses himself after Knox assures him she will make sure to deliver me back to my room in a little while. I’m too excited to finally get closer to the forest that I’ve watched from my window for months, I’m pulling Knox along fast, but realize she can only go at a slower, steady pace. I watch her stomach from the corner of my eye as we walk, and she laughs aloud when she catches me. “You’ll get used to it,” she laughs again, “I promise. It might take a while, but you will.” I’m not so convinced—I try to fight my nausea again and keep my eyes off her stomach.
We pass by a school and hundreds of children running around in a massive gated field that I assume is their playground. I’ve never seen so many kids in one setting before.
“How many are there?” I ask
“About four hundred,” she says as she puts her arm through mine. I guess I will have to get used to the touchy-feely Soren way of life from now on.
Though, how long do they intend to keep me? How long do I intend to stay here? I’ll think about that later.
For now, my thoughts are only of the forest that is now looming up ahead. Some of the trees are over a hundred feet tall, reaching high high high into the sky that I haven’t really looked at until now. It’s blue. There are only a few wisps of white clouds, but otherwise the sky is a crisp light blue unlike anything I’ve seen. This is exactly how I imagined it though, the way the elderly like Isaac reminisce. It’s further away than I thought—the clouds always looked so much closer, but otherwise it’s a vast reality my brain can’t quantify.
Where am I? How far away from Prospo City and Citizen City are we, exactly?
We walk under the leafy rustling trees now, and I’m disappointed the sky is hidden again, but this is incredible too.
I’ve definitely never walked through a forest of this magnitude. There is an obvious path to follow and, the deeper we walk through, there is another path running parallel to us, going around in a wide arc. I can’t see where it ends, but imagine it’s quite long, given the size of the forest.
“Wow,” I say, my face facing up as I breathe in the pine, which is a much stronger concentrate in here. “This is just—” I don’t finish the sentence. There is really no word I can find to adequately describe this. I need to pace myself. I breathe it in some more, and close my eyes.
“I know,” Knox says in a near whisper.
We both stop walking. All I can hear are the birds and the branches as they sway and weave in a soft warm wind. Are we in the tropics? I try to remember details from my Geography lessons, but I’ve never heard of a place like this.
Knox walks me deeper through the woods now, and we cross the long parallel path until we don’t have any further to go.
There is a tall fence I can barely see past, so I rise to my tiptoes and plop my chin over it.
I see water—a vast ocean really—and, miles away, a dark blue line that can only be the horizon. I take a deep breath but can’t smell the ocean. The pine is still monopolizing my aural senses right now.
“Are we—” I stop and frown at Knox. “Are we on an island?” I try to remember the islands around Apex, and know they are situated far from the main center where one will find Prospo City and Citizen City.
Knox’s smile is wide and she says, “Not quite.”
I stand higher on my tiptoes and pull myself up. The water flows sideways, leaving little frothy ripples in its wake. It’s clear but so dark, I can’t see down to the bottom. That confirms it’s not an island. This water is far too deep to be close to the shore.
Wait, what is that? There is no shore where I expect it. Instead, a sheet of midnight blue metal reaches out from the fence, all the way down to the water. It takes a minute for my eyes to register exactly what they’re seeing.
“Are we on a boat?” I finally ask, turning around to face Knox with my eyebrows in the air.
She tells me we’re on a floating city called the Iliad.
The Sorens have been a nomadic people since the days of the Great Omni. The Prospo built their secure towers, and kept building them taller and taller until most reached past our permanent haze of clouds. Citizens dug deep into the earth when our lands felt smaller. The Sorens, apparently, stayed afloat.
The floating city we are on has about three thousand inhabitants, and is one of the larger vessels in the fleet.
“We have many many more across the Ocean,” Knox tells me, “though I’ve only ever been on one other, a smaller one called Serenity.”
My jaw is unhinged, I’ve learnt so much in a span of a few hours.
When Knox asks if I’m ready to head back to my room, I’m more than happy to comply.
“I need to lie down,” I tell her, when she notices I’ve stopped speaking and ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ at the forest.
“It’s normal,” she affirms. “This is a lot to take in today, but I have to say, you’re doing well!”
I’m not sure if she’s just being nice. I’m a bit overwhelmed.
By the time I’m back in my room, I’m tired. We didn’t walk too far but I’m unaccustomed to the fresh air and exercise. So, after taking a quick shower to clear my mind, I get changed and lie down on top of my blankets.
Closing my eyes, I rewind through the day so far: a floating city on the ocean, with massive trees on its outer edges—a ship that can hold over three thousand people, all their homes, work, food.
It’s too much for me to think about. I’ve been a land animal my entire life. Now, my home sits on metal and constantly moves over water.
Where is the nearest piece of land, I wonder? Will I ever be on land again? At least I can’t sense any motion. I’m not sure how I would react if the ground under me shifts too much.
I turn my head slightly to look at some of the trees outside my balcony doors. The trees are only within a short walking distance from the edge of the boat. It makes me nervous—and nauseated, yet again.
When Eric comes to visit me later, I ask him if he could unlock the doors. He watches me, evaluating some invisible test. “Not yet, but soon.”
I’m not sure what he sees on my face but realize that, despite today’s nice outing, he still does not trust me. That’s fine. It’s probably better I don’t smell the pine too much anyway.
A History of Apex
Eric sits at his usual spot in front of my desk, holding the small book I read in the library. “I thought it was interesting you selected Mornie Blair’s book first.” He leans forward to place it at the foot of the bed. “Out of all the collections available in the library.”