Ahh... yes. That’s right... I felt like I simply had to return to my room. “Rufus... yes. Yes, let’s. Well then, Lady Katarina... I shall return to my quarters...”
“Eh...? P-Please wait...”
“I do apologize... Lana, please take care of her. Lady Katarina... if you are wanting for anything, anything at all... please inform Lana of your needs. We will aim to provide for you as best as we can.”
With that, I returned to my room, with Rufus guiding me... But there was still a lingering sense of unease in my heart.
After returning from my visit to Lady Katarina’s quarters, I felt... blank, for some reason. I could feel some vague gaps in my memory.
I stayed in a haze for quite some time. Before I knew it, lunch had already passed, and I was unable to present the meal to Lady Katarina properly. When I found out that she had her meal in the room she was confined in, I felt incredibly guilty. She had been suddenly brought to this strange place without knowing why, and then was confined in that small room... Lady Katarina was surely worried and uneasy.
She was spirited and strong like the rumors had said, but she could very well be putting on a brave front for me. For all I knew, she could be crying this very moment. When I thought about that, even though I was the one who had decided to do all of this to begin with — my chest began to hurt.
At the very least, I wanted Lady Katarina to feel comfortable, even if it would only be a small consolation. I decided that only the finest ingredients should be used when preparing dinner.
After the relevant preparations were complete, Rufus and I returned to Lady Katarina’s room, only to find that she was already sitting in a chair.
“Lady Katarina, are you feeling all right...?”
“Ah, yes. Sure! Thanks to your hospitality.”
“I sincerely apologize... I was unable to make the appropriate preparations for breakfast, and I feel poorly for you, having breakfast in that tiny room...” I bowed once more, apologizing for the way Lady Katarina had to take her lunch.
“Oh, no, please don’t worry. I am absolutely fine!” she answered without wavering in the slightest.
But she had been locked in this room and informed that she had been kidnapped! There was no way Lady Katarina could possibly be fine... Surely she was pushing herself to put up a brave front for my sake. I could feel the pain in my chest intensifying.
“...I sincerely apologize for these trying circumstances...” All I could do was apologize, time and time again. I could not do anything else. How pathetic of me...
As we began having our dinner, Lady Katarina showed no signs of distress. She continued pretending that she was completely fine. I grew even more worried about her.
“It’s quite all right, Lady Katarina... you do not have to force yourself to eat it,” I said, only for her to respond to me with a gentle smile.
Then she unexpectedly asked after me, noticing that I did not have very much to eat. “Are you okay, Lady Selena?” she asked.
She asked me that, even though she was clearly the one who was in a more painful, distressing situation. Lady Katarina really was a saintess.
After the final courses of dinner had been served, Lady Katarina questioned me once again.
“Um... Lady Selena? May I know why I was brought here? You mentioned before that I would be released as soon as certain things were settled. What exactly are these... things?”
But of course, there was no way Lady Katarina wouldn’t be bothered by this. She must have been uncertain and worried all this time. And yet, she tried so hard to appear calm and collected — it hurt. The pain in my chest intensified yet again. I felt so, so remorseful. Perhaps it was best to tell her now...
“Yes... I suppose you would be most uncomfortable being left in the dark, Lady Katarina... Maybe this has even started to affect your quality of sleep...”
But then, Rufus interrupted me the moment I started to speak. “Lady Selena... you have already finished your meal. Perhaps you should return to your chambers? You must be tired too, Lady Katarina... it would be best for you to get some sleep.”
He placed a hand on my shoulder. With that, suddenly, the notion that it would be better not to tell Lady Katarina anything filled my mind.
I... perhaps it is best if I speak nothing of it. I had to return to my room, just like Rufus said. I had to listen to him — I simply had to. After all... Rufus was a really kind person. He was the one who told me how I could be useful to Prince Ian.
“...I see... yes. Well then, Lady Katarina... goodnight.”
I had to return to my room and rest... but why? My heart felt uneasy once again.
Upon returning to my room, I sat down on a chair, and for a while, thought of... nothing. Was it just me, or... were these incidents occurring more as of late? Before I knew it, night had already fallen. My room was enveloped in darkness.
Just when I thought I should move over to my bed and lie down, an image flashed through my mind.
“Are you okay, Lady Selena?”
...Those aqua-blue eyes... Lady Katarina!
Why did all my thoughts about Lady Katarina evaporate when I returned to my room? I had done terrible things to her. Kidnap her, lock her up in that room, and yet, she was still kind to me — the girl known to many as a saintess.
How could I have forgotten about something like that...? I really was no good at all... utterly contemptible. Would Lady Katarina be tossing and turning right about now, unable to fall asleep or get any rest?
I had to go... I had to go to her, and do for her what little I could. That was the very least I could do.
In the quiet of night, I crept out of my room as the entire manor slumbered. As I placed one foot in front of another in the darkened halls of the manor, I could feel my head clearing up... for reasons unknown to me.
When I finally reached Lady Katarina’s room, I was greeted by a maid standing by her door. She was a recent hire, taken on in preparation for this kidnapping plan. Now, she was a maid assigned to Lady Katarina — Lana. She had a look of utter seriousness about her, as if she had been standing in front of that door, guarding it this whole time. I asked Lana if that was the case, only for her to answer, “I just awoke a short while ago.”
I informed Lana that I would like to meet with Lady Katarina. “One moment, my lady,” she said, before entering the room. After a short period of time, I heard Lana’s muffled voice call out from within, “Please enter.”
“...Selena?” Lady Katarina’s voice seemed confused — slightly disoriented, perhaps.
“Yes... I do apologize for visiting you at this hour, Lady Katarina... However, I could not help but be worried that you would be filled with fear, and hence unable to sleep...”
Lady Katarina rubbed her eyes as I approached her. Surely she had been weeping moments before... What have I done? I made up my mind. I had to speak to Lady Katarina — do what I could to alleviate a small part of her unease.
“...At the dinner table just now... for some reason, I felt this strong feeling, Lady Katarina. That I should not tell you something. But... but. I still feel that it is important to tell you.”
“Hmm... That would be the reason I was brought to this place, right? So, as I thought... you do know of the reason, Lady Selena.”
“Yes... after all, this entire kidnapping was planned by me...”
“?!” Lady Katarina seemed terribly surprised.
I started telling her everything — the truth behind this entire incident. “I... I wanted to kidnap you, Lady Katarina... and use your safety as a bargaining chip. All so that Prince Jeord would abandon his claim to the throne...”
“...Jeord? To make him give up on the throne?”
“Yes... So that Prince Ian may take the throne instead.”
It had all started several months ago. The young man known as Rufus Brode, hailing from a family distantly related to ours, was introduced to us. He performed well in all his tasks; he served me diligently despite the fact that
I was largely ignored by my family because of how useless I was.
Rufus never once complained about my failings. He would always be supportive and helpful, and had nothing but kind words for me. It was to him, and no other, that I eventually told my thoughts to.
Whatever happened, it would be fine... so long as I could be useful to Prince Ian. This thought reverberated strongly in my mind.
Upon hearing this, Rufus said, “Allow me to assist you with your wish.” And then, he thought of a plan to force all the rival princes to forsake their claims to the throne so that Prince Ian would be king.
When I had first heard about the plan, I was terrified. I felt that it was all but impossible for me to do such things. But then, Rufus reminded me... “It is for Prince Ian. This is the only thing you could possibly do for him.” The more I listened to his passionate words, the more convinced I became.
After that, Rufus suggested a plan — a scheme to entrap and kidnap Lady Katarina. That was the first step we would take.
I told Lady Katarina about everything — with the exception of Rufus’ involvement. Why did I have to leave his name out of the explanation...? If I had to say... he had done so, so much for me. If I brought him up, he would be implicated in many crimes too, and I felt horrible thinking of it.
After hearing my explanation, Lady Katarina was silent for a while, as if deep in thought. And then she said, “Well... even in exchange for my safety, I doubt that Prince Jeord would simply give up his claim to the throne.”
Her words surprised me. I felt compelled to offer a swift response. “You jest, Lady Katarina... Prince Jeord’s love for you is well known throughout the land. He would do anything — anything at all for you, Lady Katarina...”
After all, Prince Jeord’s love for Lady Katarina, and how he spoiled her, was a known fact in the noble circles of society. Honestly, Prince Jeord’s expression when he was escorting Lady Katarina at his birthday party was one of true happiness.
“I am... most envious, Lady Katarina... so envious... that he loves you so, so much...” Loved by Prince Jeord, praised and admired by so, so many around her... Lady Katarina. Compared to her, I was...
“I really, really am envious of you...” The words were escaping my lips before I even knew it. I was no-good. Useless. I could not support my prince — unlike the other princes’ fiancées. The more I thought about that... the more a suffocating sadness enveloped me. I was pathetic. Pitiful. Soon, tears were flowing down my cheeks.
“S-Selena! Are you all right? What’s wrong?” With those words, Lady Katarina approached me, placing an arm around me, her hand on my back.
“...Lady Katarina... to think that you would be worried about someone like me, someone who has done something like this to you... You really are a saintess, just like the rumors say. Compared to you, I... I am really no good. Of course Prince Ian would hate me for who I am...”
A saintess... that was what Lady Katarina was called at the academy. She was not tied to any notions of status, treated everyone equally, and was a person overflowing with passion. The fiancée of a prince, and from a noble family. I had thought that the rumors were exaggerated, perhaps... yet although she was the victim of this entire kidnapping, she was showing kindness to me — the perpetrator. Surely it was Lady Katarina herself who wished to shed tears, and yet here she was, gently rubbing my back, all the while without showing a single shred of anger.
Lady Katarina was fitting of the name indeed. She really was a wonderful person... a saintess. It was a given that a person as wonderful as she would be dearly loved by Prince Jeord.
The gentle motions of her hand on my back slowly allowed me to calm down. “I... I apologize. I lost my composure... I was just a little envious of Prince Jeord and you...”
“Envious?”
“Yes... The way you and Prince Jeord love and support each other is truly wonderful. It is not just you, but also Prince Jeffery and Lady Susanna, and Prince Alan and Lady Mary... They all support each other as equals, and I am envious of that.”
Lady Katarina continued to comfort me. It was like as if a dam broke in me — large droplets of tears fell as I felt the gentle touch of her hand.
“Lady Susanna is known as one of the wisest and most talented women in the kingdom... Lady Mary is known as the epitome of an ideal noble lady... Lady Katarina is known as a saintess, accepting and gracious...”
All of them were talented and capable. They were all worthy of their positions — of being fiancées to crown princes.
“Compared to everyone else... I am good at nothing. Good for nothing. My magic is weak... and I am not very smart. I could hardly hope to support Prince Ian... I am nothing more than baggage for him, a failure of a fiancée... So... at the very least, I wanted to be of some use to him... and so I plotted this entire incident. I truly apologize, Lady Katarina...”
All I could do now was apologize. But then... “Of course... I plan to take responsibility for all this, once it is over.”
“Eh? Responsibility?”
“Yes... I will call off my engagement with Prince Ian, and as a means of atoning for my sins, I will turn myself in to the authorities...”
This had been determined the moment we decided to go ahead with this kidnapping plan. Relinquishing one’s claim to the throne was an irreversible process. This was a law, abided by since ancient times. And so... if Prince Jeord really did relinquish his claim, reality would not change even if I were to reveal my sins at a later time.
That was why... when this all ended, as long as I had been of some assistance to Prince Ian, I had long since steeled myself — that I would live as a prisoner, a sinner for the rest of my life.
“Wh-Why? You’re just trying to do something for Prince Ian, right? But now you’re planning on calling off your engagement with him and turning yourself in? Is that what you really want?” Lady Katarina asked, the surprise plain in her voice.
“Yes... I was the one who started admiring Prince Ian in the first place. And now I have made up my mind. I am resolved,” I answered without hesitation.
“Huh? But aren’t you two engaged?”
My chest ached at Lady Katarina’s words. That’s right... I was still Prince Ian’s fiancée as of now. But...
“I was born to a duke. When I was young, I spent time with Prince Ian, and due to my age and the fact that I could use magic, I was selected as his fiancée. But as I said before, my magical capability is low... and I am not good at my studies. Before long, both my parents and my relatives started suggesting that he should look for a more fitting fiancée.”
“Of course they would think that. The partners of the other princes are all remarkable! They all support each other in some way. I alone am no good. I alone am lacking... I only hold Prince Ian back.” I was sure that a more fitting fiancée would be found for Prince Ian soon enough. “Also... Prince Ian himself has nothing but contempt for me, so...”
I hardly ever saw him. Even when we did see each other, he did not seem very fond of me. That was why everyone said that Prince Ian disliked his fiancée. But of course... unlike the other crown princes’ fiancées, he had to contend with me, useless as I was. It was all but impossible for him to like me.
Even so, I wanted to be useful to Prince Ian. Even if he hated me, and had nothing but contempt for me. I... I still loved him...
Lady Katarina stared at me for a while before finally starting to speak. “Well... Have you ever heard Prince Ian himself say such a thing to you...?”
“Huh?” I was surprised at those words. I had never thought of such a thing before.
“Have you ever asked Prince Ian how he truly feels about you?”
“Th-There is no way I could ask him something like that! But then... everyone around me always talks about how Prince Ian is tired of me, how he dislikes me... and how he... already hates me...” After all, that was what everyone else said. They couldn’t be wrong... So why? What was Lady Katarina saying...?
“But Lady S
elena... those are the words of other people, right? Have you heard the prince himself say it? Maybe you’re just imagining that he hates you?”
“But...” This was something I had never thought about, up until now. I was terribly confused, bewildered... Is it just my imagination, then? That Prince Ian isn’t fond of me? Are all those voices... wrong?
“Someone’s emotions can only be known by that person themselves, right? So, Lady Selena... if you wish to know the truth, you have to ask Prince Ian, and that’s that!”
“Ask...?”
“Yes, speak to Prince Ian about it, or at least try!”
I won’t know his true feelings on the matter if I don’t ask...? I should... speak with Prince Ian? Can I really do such a thing? Is it okay for someone like me to...?
I raised my head and found Lady Katarina’s aqua-blue eyes — her azure eyes staring straight into me.
“Say... Lady Selena. You’ve been saying that you were no good, that you are lacking, just now... and I don’t think that is true. More importantly, you were worried about me, a complete stranger. You were worried if I could rest well. And you even have the resolve to get captured and sentenced... all in the name of helping someone you love. To me, Lady Selena, you are gentle and strong. There’s not a single bone in you that is lacking or no-good. I think you are a wonderful person,” Lady Katarina said with the gentlest gaze.
I am not lacking or no-good... I am... a wonderful person? “...That’s the... first time, anyone has said anything like that to me...” I muttered, stunned.
I had been called useless and lacking up until now. Praises were rare, if I ever received them at all. Even if someone did praise me, it felt like nothing more than a pleasantry — the politically correct thing to say.
However... Lady Katarina was not lying. I knew this. Her piercing, honest gaze did not hide a single shred of malice or falsehood. Slowly, I felt the warmth of her words spread through my entire being.
My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!, Volume 3 Page 14