“‘Morning, darling,” she shouted.
Tyler shot straight up in the bed, groping for a pistol. From the expression on his face, he looked ready to throttle her.
“You thought that was fun?” he growled.
He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out the key to the shackles. After unlocking his own wrist, he undid hers and threw the key and shackles on the floor. Nicky was still laughing, tears squirting out her eyes.
“Fun? I’ll give you fun,” he said as he pinned her arms to the bed.
She couldn’t stop laughing. The image of Tyler’s surprised expression was too much until he lowered his lips to hers. Nicky’s humor disappeared as Tyler’s kiss ground her into submission. She moaned softly. His tongue teased her lips until she opened her mouth.
Letting her arms loose, he began to caress her. Goose bumps ran up and down her arms. His hand found her right breast and felt the weight as his thumb grazed her nipple. The peak was already hard and wanting.
Nicky was breathless. Her long buried passion welled up in her and she threw her arms around Tyler’s neck, returning his kiss with a ferocity that matched his. The kiss left her gasping, wanting more, wanting him. He pulled away from her. She reached into his shirt, giving in to the impulse to feel his muscled chest. Her fingers gently caressed the thick hair, which was surprisingly soft. When her fingers came in contact with his nipples, he hissed. She pulled her hands away quickly.
“Did I hurt you?”
He flashed her that smile again as he lowered his head to her collarbone, trailing kisses as he untied the blue ribbons on her chemise.
“No, little magpie, it felt good. I’ll make you feel good, too.”
When he bared her breasts, Nicky tried to cover them, but he pulled her hands away gently. She watched with fascination as he lowered his mouth to her nipple, then all coherent thought was lost. His mouth suckled her, his tongue laved at the taut nub and then he delicately bit it. She drew in a ragged breath as he turned his attention to the other breast, lavishing it with his hot, wet mouth. Nicky was enraptured as she watched him. Could a body have too much pleasure? She wasn’t sure she knew the answer, but she knew she was on fire between her legs. She felt the moisture gathering there, knowing that Tyler Calhoun would initiate her into womanhood. And she wanted him to. Dear God, she never wanted anything more than to have Tyler make love to her here and now.
He nuzzled her belly, gently kissing and licking her skin. She was shaking ever so slightly as he began to slide off the pantalets. As he gazed at her body completely nude, his breath caught. He kissed her hips, her thighs, then spread her legs and kissed her center.
She groaned. What in the world was Tyler doing? She started to rise and ask him when his tongue touched her in an incredibly sensitive spot that shot pleasure like a bullet to every inch of her body. Then he did it again and again and again. Nicky’s body sang with growing waves of sheer ecstasy as Tyler worked. She floated amongst the clouds, rising to the stars. Suddenly, she held her breath as a tidal wave of rhapsody came crashing over her. Tyler held her legs to absorb the bucking twists.
As she struggled to find her way back from the stars, she felt him rise from the bed, shed his clothes and lie on top of her. His hand reached down between her legs and a finger probed inside her. She would have cried out at the sensation, but Tyler’s lips covered hers in a deep, passionate kiss.
His knee gently nudged her legs apart. His body was so hard and she was willing, ready, and so wet. He pushed himself against her and entered in a quick thrust.
Nicky cried out in pain as her innocence was lost.
“Easy, darling, easy,” he whispered in her ear. “We’re in this together. Just go easy.” She started to relax and unclench her muscles as the pain receded. Slowly, he pulled himself in and out. The grimace faded as she felt pleasure instead of pain. Her tentative movements began to rock with his rhythm. A low moan escaped her lips as he turned his attention to her breasts again. She felt herself spiraling back to the stars as Tyler’s thrusts grew harder and deeper. She cried out and Tyler’s mouth descended on hers again in a clash of tongues as he arrived at his own shuddering climax.
His kiss turned gentle as he rolled off her, their sweaty bodies sliding away easily. Her eyes remained closed after their kiss. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as though she’d just run from one end of the state to the other. A single tear escaped from her right eye and traveled down her cheek.
Nicky was trying to land. Her entire body was singing in the aftermath of their lovemaking. She felt the tear tickle her cheek. It was a tear for the happiness she’d just experienced, and for the sadness that it was fleeting, not permanent. Regardless of whether this man was her husband, his job was to return her to Wyoming. And Nicky realized even through all that, she had somehow fallen in love with him. She loved his Texas drawl, his wit, his fierceness, his dedication, his pride, and even his warped sense of humor. They all made up the stranger who was now her husband, her lover, her jailer.
She felt his weight rise from the bed. He grabbed his jeans and pulled them on quickly.
“Nicky, I…”
Her eyes snapped open. Was that regret in his voice? Son of a bitch! Her heart winced in pain, but she kept it inside. Not for a moment would she let him see the ragged wound he had just made. He certainly wasn’t in love with her, and now after a tumble in bed, he regretted what he’d done. No annulment now. His eyes wouldn’t meet hers. They skittered around the room like leaves in the wind, the blue darker from the guilt she saw in their depths. She was angry, even furious, at his behavior. How dare he?
“What, Calhoun?” Her voice was sharp. “Is this where you tell me what a mistake this was? Not to get my hopes up?”
He jumped at her words. Something passed over his face. It couldn’t have been pain. That she refused to believe. His beautiful mouth hardened.
“You’d better wash up and get dressed. We’ve got to get going.” His eyes didn’t look at the bloodstains on the sheets attesting to her lost innocence.
Nicky stood slowly, unashamed of facing him naked. Her hands bracketed her hips as anger pulsed through her. Goddamn him for cheapening the moment for her.
“I don’t care if you regret what we just did. Your pity is unwelcome. I don’t need it.” She choked back her emotions, determined to be strong. “I told you I hadn’t given my body to anybody, that I was a virgin. You know that to be the truth now.”
Her voice had gotten lower, huskier. “Don’t think for a minute I would have done that with you if it wasn’t what I wanted.”
She held his gaze for a moment then stalked across the room to clean up and get dressed. The pain in her heart was as real as any physical pain she’d ever endured, but she’d be damned if she’d let him see how much his rejection had hurt.
———
Jesus Christ on crutches! He couldn’t let her see him shaking. Trembling like a newborn calf. To cover his weakness, he forced himself to use brisk movements as he dressed.
He had just had the most incredible sexual experience of his life with a woman who was an outlaw, and to top it all off, wonder of wonders, a goddamn virgin. Not anymore, he thought sourly. What the hell had he been thinking? Well, he hadn’t been thinking. His randy prick had been thinking instead.
He understood her anger. Didn’t argue with it a bit. He was angry with himself. Bedding her was the last thing he had planned on doing. So much for any other plans he’d made. They didn’t seem to work one iota when it came to Nicky.
He stumbled putting his boot on. Cursing silently he took a quick peek at her. She was pulling her stockings on. Good. Hadn’t seen him falling down like an idiot. A lovesick idiot.
Lovesick? Not likely. He was weak from coming his brains out. That was it. He was not, definitely one hundred percent not, lovesick.
Chapter Eleven
They rode in stony silence, their usual jabs and mocking tucked away. The morning was very foggy but Nicky assumed T
yler must know where he was going. She couldn’t see a darned thing, but he couldn’t see what she was doing either. She had retrieved her hairpin and was busy picking the lock on her shackles. As soon as they stopped for the noon meal, she was going to bolt. It was too dangerous for her heart and her neck to be with Tyler Calhoun. She could still smell his scent on her skin and the ghosts of his callused hands on her body. She tried to ignore her longings, but they were too strong to resist.
Oh, Tyler, why did I have to fall in love with you of all people?
Three hours into their ride, Nicky decided she couldn’t be silent anymore. She felt the need to tell Tyler the story of Logan’s death, to let him know what it was that had set her off on this run from the law. Deep down, she needed him to believe her story, believe her to be innocent. Believe in her.
“Did you know I grew up with six brothers? Ray, Ethan, Trevor, Brett, Jack, and Logan.” She ticked off the names on her fingers. “We were all very close, and fiercely loyal. When we were growing up, sometimes they’d leave me out of whatever they were doing because I was a girl, but most times I could convince them otherwise. They would do anything for each other, or for me.”
Tyler didn’t turn to look at her, but she saw him straighten in the saddle as though he was listening.
“Jack was the closest in age to Logan and me. Growing up, we were like three peas in a pod, always out getting dirty and having fun with our big brothers, or the ranch hands. I wasn’t one for frilly dresses or little girl toys. I was always right in there with my brothers doing whatever they were doing. My mama tried to force me to wear dresses, but she couldn’t do it. If she put one on me, as soon as she turned around, I’d take it off, and prance around naked if she took my britches.
“When we got older, my parents didn’t want me working around the ranch like a hired hand. They thought I was turning into an old maid because of my behavior. So, on my parents’ orders, my brothers started to leave me out completely. They didn’t like it much, but as I said, they are fiercely loyal, so they did what my parents wanted. I was bored to near insanity sitting around the house with nothing to do.” She paused and took a deep breath. “When Owen Hoffman made an offer for my hand, my parents approved. He was rich and willing, even if he was fifteen years older than me. Who else would want to marry a girl over the age of eighteen who insisted on acting like a boy? Owen did.”
“What? You were engaged to Hoffman?” Tyler shouted.
Nicky glanced at Tyler, noting his disgusted, shocked expression.
“I’m sure there’s plenty Owen didn’t tell you, Calhoun. Rich men think they own the truth.” Her voice was grave. “I want to thank you for this morning. With you, I felt pleasure. With Owen, it would have been rape.”
Her fingers were clenched so tightly on her saddle horn her knuckles were white.
“If you want to confess to something, I’m listening,” he offered.
Her head swiveled sharply to glare at Tyler with narrowed eyes.
“I should have known you wouldn’t even begin to believe me,” she said in a tight voice. “You are a bought commodity.”
“I’m not bought. I was hired to do a job,” Tyler said angrily.
“Six and one-half dozen of the other.” She waved her hand in dismissal. “You’re still bringing me to my death.”
“You’ll have a fair trial.” Tyler’s voice wasn’t very convincing.
“Not a chance. Wyoming isn’t a state, Calhoun. Frontier law, you know. String them up first, ask questions later.”
Her hands were beginning to shake from the effort to be strong, to contain her emotions. She was awash in grief for Logan, grief for the girl she once was, grief for the life she’d never live, and the children she’d never have. Her chest constricted, and she felt like she was breathing through a wet cloth, but she had to go on, to relive it. She needed to vent the heavy pain she’d been carrying around for so long it was like a part of her.
“I convinced Logan to sneak over to Owen’s two days before the wedding. I wanted to poke around and find the wedding cake, maybe cause some mischief with it. Some woman had come all the way from Denver just to make it. I know I was being childish, but dammit, I didn’t want to marry him. I didn’t even like him. Owen was supposed to be out on the north range overseeing some fence repairs, I think. We left our horses on the other side of the ridge from the house and walked from there. I persuaded Logan that we should go to the root cellar first, figuring it was the coolest spot to keep a cake.”
Tyler’s attention was now riveted on her. His silence willed her to continue.
“There was an open padlock on the door. I thought it was strange, but maybe Owen liked to lock up his food supplies. I should have known, dammit. I knew first hand what Owen liked to do in root cellars, but I was as blind as a rock.” She cleared her throat. “When we went in, we found two women and a young boy. They were in tattered, filthy clothes that were stiff with God knows what, and covered with cuts, bruises, and welts. And their wrists, Jesus, their wrists were like raw, bloody meat from the shackles that bound them to the wall. They told us Owen had bought them. Bought them someplace in San Francisco.” A small sob escaped.
“My God, Tyler, he was a white slaver, a sodomite, and a rapist. Logan was trying to get them free and I just stood there terrified, like a bump on a log. All I was thinking about was that I was supposed to marry this man. Here these poor people had endured torture, and all I thought of was myself. Logan was yelling at me to snap out of it, to help him. I felt like I was standing in a glass jar watching them.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat before continuing.
“After we freed them, we helped them to our horses. I had to carry the boy because he was so weak. His blood nearly soaked through my shirt. It was just so horrible, so unbelievable, I still felt like I was watching it all happen. We got to the horses as quickly as we could. Then we heard riders coming. Logan and I had an argument about who was staying, but he forced me to take the knife and told me to go. He wanted me to take the two women and the boy to town while he stayed behind to give us time to escape. I ran back to them, but instead of taking them myself, I had them all mount up together on Logan’s horse. It was a big gray stallion named Shadow that was seventeen hands high, his pride and joy. The three of them together probably weighed about the same as Logan anyway. Then I heard the gunshots.
“One of the women, Rebecca, looked at me in understanding. She told me to go back to see if I could help him. I felt like a goddamn fish out of water, flopping around, not knowing which way to jump.” She shook her head. “I gave her Logan’s rifle for protection, and what little money I had with me. They galloped away on Shadow in the direction of town. I crept back across the ridge. Luckily, I was wearing my moccasins and was quiet as a breeze. I hid behind some rocks to see if I could help Logan.”
Her eyes were glazed with unshed tears. They felt hot and gritty. Her heart pounded painfully as her mind replayed that awful day in agonizing detail.
“Owen kept calling me to get me to come out or he was going to kill my brother. Logan kept shouting for me to go. I want to say that I listened to Logan, but in truth, it was my fear that kept me hidden. I was so afraid.” She paused as a small shudder traveled through her. “I saw it all. They beat him senseless, then Owen shot him in the head. His brother, Bert, found me behind the rock right after Logan was killed. I pretended to faint because it was the only thing I could think of. Then when he started to rip my clothes off, I stabbed him with Logan’s knife to save myself. Then I watched them drag Logan’s body behind the barn to bury him. In the dirt. With no respect, no loving words. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to him.”
The tears finally spilled over and streamed down her cheeks. The dam of emotion was beginning to break.
“I was so ashamed of what I had done, of my foolishness. I was responsible for Logan’s death, over a damned wedding cake, for God’s sake. I couldn’t face my family, and I knew Owen would be
after me because not only had I killed his brother, but I knew his dirty secret. I snuck home, got my gear, and left without ever saying goodbye. I’ve been running and hiding for so long, I can’t remember anything else. Except pain and guilt. It was my fault, all of it.”
“You saved three people, Nicky. That is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I didn’t save them. Logan did.”
“What happened to them?”
“They got on the stage and fortunately escaped. The two women made it back home to Nebraska. I’ve kept in contact with them. I thought it was the least I could do, since I’d failed my brother when he needed me most.”
“And the boy?”
“He hanged himself within a week.”
Tyler cursed quietly.
“I’ve never told anyone that story, Tyler.” She turned her gaze to him. “It’s been inside me for so long. All I ever wanted was to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Logan,” she shouted to the sky. “I’m sorry.”
As her shouts faded into the foggy mist, Nicky’s chest began to heave with the force of her sobs. Tyler stopped the horses, then dismounted quickly. After he unlocked the shackles and helped her down off the horse, he cradled her like a baby. Nicky clung to him for dear life. His strong arms were an anchor in the sea of emotion she swam in. Her tears landed on his neck and shoulders like warm rivers of grief as her whole body trembled in its current. He was there and she loved him.
———
Tyler sat down heavily on a large boulder, holding Nicky, murmuring soothing nonsense words. He’d never been one for a woman’s tears, but this was entirely different. Nicky was as tough as they came, an exciting, vibrant woman. This sobbing creature was pitiful and upsetting to Tyler.
Shackled. Tyler closed his eyes tightly. He’d shackled her just like that pig Hoffman. He felt disgusted at himself. She had looked at him with such an intensity of soul-deep grief that it truly frightened him. She had relived something buried deeply, which had festered inside her, and clamored to be purged. He didn’t want to believe her horrific story, except perhaps that her brother was killed by Hoffman and, though her grief was real enough…could there still be a ruse?
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