by Nette Hilton
‘Get off!’
The angel belted the cow when she had to stop and haul her dress back on.
‘Be quiet,’ Miss Everest hissed.
Suddenly it was so quiet that even the slip of the sheep’s fat feet on the polished floor sounded noisy. It was like the whole audience was holding its breath.
‘Here we go,’ said Miss Everest. ‘Good luck!’
I saw the shepherds’ feet silently slip by. I saw angel’s ankles because Miss Everest had told them to hold the dresses clear of the cow. I saw the glow of lights from the stage floor. I heard the sigh of the audience as Miss Everest hit the ‘play’ button and everyone started singing.
I didn’t bother. What’s the point of singing when the only thing to hear you is the bottom of the boy in front.
Jimmy was though. I glanced up enough to see the cow’s head swaying to the melody and I could hear his voice loud and clear.
And then we were off.
I was okay to begin with. I knew what I had to do and I was doing it. Keep my head down and take small steps.
It was going really well.
Head down, step, step, head down, step, step … away in a manger, no crib … step, step, step …
And then Jimmy stopped.
I didn’t.
The cow’s bum walked right into the cow’s head as I nearly finished up under Jimmy’s armpit.
‘Stop it!’ Jimmy turned around to hiss at me. So did the cow’s head. ‘Get off!’
I thought I heard a laugh.
‘Get going!’ I hissed back.
I gave Jimmy a shove. The cow jetted forward, head first, and the cow’s bottom had to hurry to keep up. I skidded out wide on the corner to catch up again.
The cow’s tail whacked the cow’s head.
I heard more laughing.
‘Cut it out!’ Jimmy hissed as he set off again. Everyone was singing the second song now and Jimmy started up as well. He really loves Christmas carols, but he started in the wrong place and had to stop so he could hear the words properly. He had to turn around a bit then to see where we were.
I heard a sheep baa and the cow’s head heard it too and set off rather quickly to get to it before the third song started up.
I had to skip and then jump over the end of Kim’s dad’s coat that Fiona was wearing as part of her innkeeper’s wife’s costume.
I heard very loud laughter.
It was coming from the audience and it seemed to be happening every time the cow started to move.
I stayed still.
I wasn’t sure if the audience was allowed to laugh and I didn’t want to be the one who copped it because it was my fault.
Jimmy didn’t. He kept going.
At least he kept going until the cow’s head got too tight and he was suddenly slammed back to the cow’s bum. The stage floor is very slippery when you have soft socks covering your feet.
The audience was really roaring now.
‘Stop it!’ I heard an angel hiss at me and then felt an angel’s foot jab into my side. ‘Everyone’s looking at you!’
I couldn’t stop. Not right there. Not when the cow’s head had set off again to try and reach the sheep who were baaing rather loudly now as they tried to steer us closer.
‘Move!’ I hissed at Jimmy. ‘Go straight forward!’
Jimmy did.
It was a shame he’d forgotten about Miss Everest’s old doll’s pram. He’d pushed it four whole steps before a shepherd grabbed it and put it back.
Jimmy tripped a little and would have fallen except that I held him tighter with my arms and lifted him, just a little, so he was facing the right way.
The audience howled.
I think they liked it. I think they really liked it because this time somebody started clapping as well.
Then I saw Serena’s ballet slipper. It jabbed sweetly out and poked at the cow’s rump.
‘Move.’ She must have bent right over. ‘The whole audience is laughing at you!’
I took three little swinging steps so my tail whooped from side to side slapping at the angels as we finished our stage walk.
The audience roared with laughter and I heard more clapping. Then, when we finally reached our sheep and our corner of the stage and stood as still as statues, there was only silence.
We didn’t move until the curtain started to close. Jimmy felt it brush by him and stepped aside.
He was supposed to step INside. But Jimmy had stepped OUTside.
We both finished up on the wrong side of the closed curtain. Everyone in the audience could see us.
I saw it whoosh by our feet and I heard very loud clapping and a whole lot of laughing and lots and lots of cheering.
The cow’s head turned around to look at me.
‘What’ll we do?’
I thought fast. ‘Ready, Jimmy,’ I said. ‘It’ll be fine. Just do as I say.’
Jimmy nodded and the audience went wild. The cow swayed its bottom and its tail swung high.
‘Now,’ I said. ‘Walk, walk, kick. Walk, walk, kick.’
I could hear chairs scraping back as the audience stood up. I could hear them clapping the 1, 2, 3, so we walked to their beat.
It was a wonderful sound and we walked right around the stage and back again, keeping time all the way.
But the best sound was the angel’s voice when we got back behind the curtain.
‘It’s not fair,’ she was wailing. I saw her foot stamp. ‘It’s not fair! Everybody was watching that stupid cow and nobody looked at the angels.’
Miss Everest was unzipping us. ‘Does it really matter?’ she was saying.
‘What about that man who was coming to watch us?’ I heard Serena’s voice over the din.
‘It’s dumb!’ Angela joined in. They were both leaning so close to Miss Everest that she had to fluff their angels’ wings out of her face. ‘How come a stupid, fat cow gets to be the star of the show!’
‘Yeah!’ Serena clambered forward again. ‘That man wouldn’t even be able to see us properly the way that cow was carrying on!’
Miss Everest didn’t say anything at all. She was busy shearing the sheep and hurrying us back to our holding pens.
She grinned at us though.
I grinned back, but as I hurried along through the dark playground I could only think of Serena.
Maybe she really didn’t know how teachers think. Not if she believed that that man was going to be there.
I could hear lots of lovely thoughts clattering around in my head, most of them to do with Serena who didn’t know everything anyway.
I hitched my cow’s bum higher and draped its tail over my arm. I felt so happy I skipped a bit.
Somebody behind me laughed and Miss Everest caught up with me. ‘You,’ she said as I skipped to a halt, ‘were the best cow I’ve ever, ever seen!’
And I believed every single word she said.
Miss Everest gave us all a cool drink and helped us change and pack up our costumes.
Javin was hooting around waggling his rear like he had a tail attached. He kept giving me a nudge every time he went past, but I didn’t mind. I reckon he’ll want to be the manger cow next time.
‘I didn’t see you!’ Mum exploded into the classroom along with all the other parents. She had one hand pressed to her mouth like she’d done something awful because she’d missed me. Her other hand smoothed the curls that were cemented into a shape a bit like a bicycle helmet. ‘And look at your hair.’
Dad pulled a couple of strands free. ‘I was so busy looking at that cow that I missed you as well. Boy, it was funny! I reckon those kids deserve a medal. You’ve got to be good to make an audience laugh like that!’ He was looking around at the kids who were still struggling to get their clothes into bags to see if he could see who had been inside the cow suit.
‘They were good,’ Mum said. ‘I nearly died when they made the cow do that little dance at the end.’ Her hands patted my head. ‘And I’m sure you were wonde
rful, too, Aimee. I just wish I’d seen you.’
‘You did,’ I said.
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘No.’
‘I was the cow!’ I yelled it. I didn’t mean to but it just burst right out. ‘Me and Jimmy! It was us!’
‘Yessss!’ Dad did his soccer cheer. I thought he might have been going to rip his tee-shirt up over his face and dance around like he’d scored a goal, but he danced me around instead. ‘I knew it. I knew I’d seen that back end somewhere!’
Mum shushed him but she was glowing. Her whole face was beaming like someone had lit her up on the inside. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ she said.
I could see her thinking about how much I’d wanted to be the angel and for a second the inside light was dimmed. ‘You shouldn’t let people boss you around.’ She said ‘people’ but looked right across at Serena who was standing fluttering her eyelashes at a bloke in a suit. Serena smirked across at me.
I poked my tongue out.
‘It’s fine, Mum,’ I said. ‘I had the best fun.’
I was just getting warmed up to try and explain about the dress and the wings and how sorry I was that I didn’t wear them when the man who’d been talking to Serena came over.
Miss Everest came with him and so did Mr Henderson.
She told us his name was Jeremy and that he wanted to talk to us about the cow.
‘I’m the tail end and he’s the head,’ I said, pointing at Jimmy.
‘I know,’ said Jeremy. He gave Mum and Dad a card with writing all over it. ‘I came here tonight to see if there was anyone to try out for some commercials we’re doing.’
Serena waltzed by. ‘Goodnight, Jeremy.’
‘See you, Serena,’ he said. ‘Next week at the first audition. Now,’ he said, ‘let’s talk about our cow.’
It turned out that he wanted us to take our cow act to be part of a pantomime for one of the big children’s hospitals in Sydney. ‘Everyone can come with you,’ he said. ‘Your mum and dad and little brother.’ Roly was eating the school chalk and I don’t think Jeremy was too thrilled about taking a chalk eater with him, but he didn’t let it stop him. ‘We’ll train you, but I don’t think you’ll need too much training.’ He laughed. ‘You were the funniest act I’ve seen in a long time!’
‘Do we have to do an audition?’
‘You mean like the others? Nope!’ Jeremy smiled. ‘You and Jimmy are a couple of naturals. You’ll just have to do a bit of training for the show.’
He shook hands with Dad and Mum and gave us a whole heap of stuff to read over and then went to talk to Jimmy’s parents.
Miss Everest was looking so chuffed I thought she might burst. She gave me a quick thumbs-up sign behind Jeremy’s back.
Mr Henderson was looking pretty chuffed as well, but I think that was because Miss Everest had hugged him when we all came off stage.
We weren’t supposed to see it. But I did.
‘I really did want to be an angel,’ I said as I collected up my wings and smoothed out my dress. ‘Do you reckon I can wear them at home sometimes?’
‘I reckon,’ said Dad.
We drifted past other parents and kids and headed for the school gates.
‘That’s another year nearly done,’ Mum said as she hoisted Roly onto her hip.
Another year of Serena nearly over.
I glanced behind me to see if she was still around. She was standing with Angela and she saw me and waved her fingers. ‘See you in Sydney,’ she called. ‘I’ll be down there for the auditions after Christmas.’
I couldn’t believe it. Another year of Serena nearly over. A whole holiday with her coming up.
I wandered along behind Mum and Dad and then I looked back. I couldn’t see Katie anywhere.
‘Where’s Katie?’ I called.
Serena and Angela smiled across at me and shrugged.
I checked around the school gate but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
It didn’t matter really. Nothing mattered too much tonight.
I got to be the star of the show. Me. The manger cow’s bum.
And tomorrow, if Katie feels like it, she could find me.
You never know, we just might finish up being friends … if Serena doesn’t mind.
First published 2006 by University of Queensland Press
PO Box 6042, St Lucia, Queensland 4067 Australia
www.uqp.com.au
© Nette Hilton
© Illustrations Chantal Stewart
This book is copyright. Except for private study, research, criticism or reviews, as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any foram or by any means without prior written permission. Enquiries should be made to the publisher.
Typeset by Peripheral Vision
Cataloguing in Publication Data
National Library of Australia
Hilton, Nette
Star of the Show
For lower to middle primary school students.
1. Christmas Plays – Juvenile Fiction. I. Title.
A823.3
ISBN 9780702235792 (pbk)
ISBN 9780702242724 (pdf)
ISBN 9780702242755 (epub)
ISBN 9780702242731 (kindle)