by Tina Saxon
“There is plenty of light with the moon. Night swimming is the best.”
Says the SEAL, I snicker to myself.
He stays rooted in his spot, studying me. “Oh shit! A whale,” he exclaims, pointing out to the water.
I spin on my heels. “Where?”
Stupid, stupid, Ell.
He pounces like a tiger. I scream as I’m tossed over his shoulder, and he runs toward the water. Cheers from the restaurant float down to us. This guy could be attempting to kill me, and they are cheering him on.
“Kase, don’t you dare!” I yell, slapping him on the ass as he gets closer to the dark waters. When water covers his feet, he stops. “Put me down, Cowboy.” I try for stern, but being upside down, it comes out more strangled.
He leans forward so I can hop off. The cool water tickles my feet and my toes sink in the soft sand. I slap him in the chest, but I can’t pull my hand back. “Jerk, you tricked me,” I say, my voice losing its fight. He stares down at me as he lifts his hand to sweep my wild hair blowing in the wind behind my ear. His fingers graze my ear and work their way down the curve of my neck. I lean into his touch.
“I told you, I’ll use every means necessary to get what I want.”
Leaning down, his lips caress mine as he keeps the kiss soft and sweet. They linger on my lips, his fingers press into my lower back, and he’s wavering on the line of losing control. I slide my hand up his chest, wrapping it around his neck, pulling him down into me, daring him to cross that line. He deepens the kiss, our tongues dance with each other and I melt in his arms. The world slips away and I wonder if he knows how all-encompassing he is. The need to back away dissolves. He feels safe in my unsafe world. I revel in the feeling knowing it won’t stay.
When he breaks away from the kiss, he leans his forehead against mine. “That was worth the wait,” he mumbles, embracing me in his strong arms and giving me a warm hug. The gentle embrace catches me off guard. It’s not sexual, and it’s not goodbye.
It’s a hello hug you give someone you haven't seen in a long time.
I pull back and his eyes flash down to mine, his body tenses as he studies me. With a slight tick at the corner of my mouth, I ask, “Did I make you wait that long?”
“I’ve been dreaming about your lips on mine since the day I met you.”
I touch my lips, still swollen from his, and spin to walk back up to our table so he can’t read the emotions written all over my face. I try to hide that I want him as much as he wants me, try to hide my fears about my past, preventing me from moving forward and try to hide my heart, where it’s been the last ten years, hidden behind scar tissue.
Slipping my shoes on, I stand tall, staring back up the beach. Why does he have to be so perfect? His chest hits my back, yet he doesn’t reach for me. I close my eyes wondering how the moment got intense so fast. His uneven sigh has me turning around. “I didn’t mean to scare you off.” His confident voice wavers with panic as he searches my eyes for answers. I shouldn’t have turned around. Not yet. “What are you afraid of, Ellie?”
You. Me. Everything.
I let out a soft sigh and look away from the intensity in his eyes, avoiding the question I can’t answer. “I can’t fall for you, Kase.”
When I lift my gaze and meet his, there’s understanding there to something he has no idea about. It’s unnerving to think he can see into my past.
“The last thing I want is for you to fall and get hurt.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, hating what he’s implying. Hating myself for feeling upset over his reaction when I’m the one ruining this. “Are you saying you’d hurt me?” I whisper.
“Never. I’d be here to catch you. But I can’t make you like me.” My lip twitches. It’s too late, I already do. After a few silent beats, he tips his head up the beach. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”
I’m thankful we’re on a bike so we don’t have to talk. White lights blur as we pass them, the cooler night air blanketing us. The long ride helps me work through the tight ball of what-ifs knotted up inside me. I think back to the last ten years, where backing away from men came easy, none holding my attention long enough to want more. One date with Kase and I’m reevaluating everything.
Maybe, he’d accept my past.
Maybe, he wouldn’t need to know about my past.
Maybe, he’d accept our future.
I groan knowing there isn’t a man alive who would accept any of that—regardless of how hard I want to try. His hand covers mine, and he squeezes it. My heart tells me he’s answering yes, my head is telling me not to be so naïve, it’s just a sweet gesture.
Kase leans against the parked bike in the parking garage, giving me space, waiting for me to make the first move. He looks downright sinful. If I had my camera, I’d snap a shot so I could study it, search for his story in those blue eyes. I step forward in between his legs and press my lips to his. It’s a soft, chaste kiss, knowing if I lean into it anymore, I won't be able to stop. I know I told him I’d show him my project, but if I invite him in, I’ll be showing him more than just pictures.
“Thank you. I had a great time tonight.”
His hands relax on my hips, thumbs gently stroking small targets that shoot an arrow of desire straight through me. I step out of his grasp, the air around us thickening. His arrogant smile a reminder that the man sees everything. He’s just going to sit back and wait for me to come to him. I’m usually not the sheep. It scares the hell out of me that my body doesn’t care if he’s the shepherd or the wolf. Either way, I’ll be his. How do I fight this instinctual pull? A spark of hope builds, if I give in and let him own me, will my past release its hold on me?
“I did too. If only you’d let me take you out again?”
I don’t know if it’s the spark inside me, growing into a flame each second our eyes lock, but it surprises me when I answer so quickly, “If you’re lucky.”
His eyes brighten when he laughs out loud, lifting his leg over his bike and revving it up. My entire body tingles from the vibration, watching him straddle his bike, his muscular arms flexing with each rev. “Ellie,” he rasps. “I’m the luckiest man alive.” My heart quickens and I'm pretty sure I'm in over my head. There's no turning back now.
I’m the sheep.
Chapter Fourteen
Kase
I stare at the number flashing on my cell phone. Same number as the last three calls. You need to get a hold of me, leave a message, it’s not a hard concept. I toss it back into the console and pick up the binoculars. To focus my eyes, I twist the center, adjust the magnification until I have what I’m searching for in my sight. “Bingo,” I mutter to myself.
“The subject is at home,” I say. Hudson and Stone acknowledge me in my earpiece. My job… warn the guys if he leaves. It seems Dr. Lawson might have a dangerous habit of prescribing narcotics to young women who don’t need it. We have to prove he’s working with a man we think is the leader of a sex ring here in Boston. A high-profile judge hired us because his seventeen-year-old daughter’s been missing for a week. We’re almost certain that’s what happened to her. Although, finding her might be trickier the way these organizations work. Dr. Lawson was her psychologist. This isn’t the first time his name has come up in missing cases. My finger itches to put a hole through his head reading the allegations. He’s been smart hiding his indiscretions. But he’s not that good. We’ll find something.
The bad thing with stakeouts, having too much time to pick apart my date with Ellie. I wish I wasn’t so perceptive sometimes. I could detect the war in her eyes. The way they would flash green one second and turn ice blue the next. The way I scared her by opening my big fat mouth. I can’t believe I slipped, but I made up for it when I told her I was backing away. She wants me, although she needs to learn to trust me, so I’ll sit back and wait. A skill I’ve perfected — waiting until I have the perfect shot.
She’ll land right in my arms.
“Wrapping up,” Cody’s v
oice rings in my ear. “Meet you back at station nine.”
Station nine is code for Max’s house. Each of the guys check in before we log off. My phone rings and I roll my eyes when it’s the same number. I touch the answer button and bring the phone to my ear. “What?”
“Oh… Um… Is Kase Nixon there?” a weasel voice stutters on the other end.
“You keep calling my phone, who the hell else would answer?”
“Oh, Hi Mr. Nixon, my name is Joey Davidson with Kelson and Davidson. I’m the attorney of record on your trust account. I’m calling regarding your mineral rights. We’ve been contacted by an oil company and they are interested in leasing a part of those rights.”
“What does that involve?” I own all the mineral rights in Barrow, but I don't understand how they work. It was part of the trust that became available this year. They contacted me on my twenty-eighth birthday and requested an account number. Money shows up each month, I don’t ask questions. I detest that town and all the memories tied to it. I’d be content to sell the whole damn town. But it’s not all mine. At least, not yet. And it might be awhile until that part of my trust is released.
The conversation is short. He lost me when he talked about maps and mineral acres. I make a mental note to hire a land broker. The less I think about Barrow, the better. Instead, I fantasize about Ellie and her lips, specifically on me.
I’m the last to arrive. When I step inside, I hear the guys in the kitchen, cabinets slamming and glass bottles hitting the counters. I stand by waiting to see if anyone acknowledges that I’m here. My adrenaline spikes when no one comes out. My hands grow warm from rubbing them together as I form a plan. I slip out to my bike, grabbing what I need and then search for a way to climb on top of the separate garage. I send two preemptive texts so I won't get killed. Then, I lie low and wait.
“Where the hell is Kase? The SUV he took out to Boston is here,” Cody says, striding down the steps. Stone, Hudson, and Oscar follow him outside, stepping onto the grass. I lay my head down, draw in the excitement running rampant in my body. I can’t miss. They’d never let me forget that. They form around my bike, glancing around the property.
I peer through the scope, finding my target. Squeeze the trigger five times.
The guys duck. “What the hell!” Stone screams, his ass lands on the ground and he stares down at his shirt. Blue paint covers his white shirt.
“Your reflexes aren’t that fast.” I pop up, throwing my arms out. Hudson and Cody burst out in laughter over Stone’s red face.
“Son, you have a death wish,” Oscar says, shaking his head while he wanders back inside the house. Oscar’s the dad of the group and he’s quick to lecture.
“You assholes knew about this?” Stone grumbles, standing up and dusting the dirt off his jeans. They both shake their head and shrug. “Fucking liars. You’re going down, Nixon,” he mutters, stomping up the steps.
“I need to get a paint gun,” Hudson declares. “That was legit.”
“What the hell do I pay you people for?” I glance up and Max is standing by Cody, slapping him on the back.
“Boss man, it’s good to see you’re still alive,” Cody jokes. Max swings a chair from the neighboring table to ours, straddling it. He looks at me and smiles.
“Figured I’d find you all here.” I lean back and listen to the guys bullshit, realizing how lucky I am to be a part of this team. “Hear you’ve been messing with Stone,” he says, looking at me with an approving smile. I smirk, raising my beer in mock cheers and take a drink. “It’s about time someone has the balls to do it.”
“Hey! I have a steel set of balls,” Cody chimes in, grabbing his dick. “But I’m afraid he’ll make me a woman in every computer in this universe.”
“Just remember that, asshole, when you think of trying something,” Stone points at him. His finger motions in my direction. “I’m thinking of how to get this asshole back.” I laugh, winking at him. What’s more fun than a little brotherly rivalry? I miss my SEAL team and the shit we used to do to entertain ourselves.
“Well, look what the cat drug in,” Tori says, rounding the table, giving Max a hug. I get up to hit the bathroom. When I step out of the hallway, Tori stops me, handing me a napkin.
“I swear I washed them,” I joke, holding my hands out. “You want to smell 'em?” I recall Everly used to always do that after coming out of the bathroom just to make sure I washed. I shake my head at the memory, how weird to associate the memory to one name and now making new memories with a different name, but same person. It’s confusing.
She wrinkles up her nose and jerks back. “No. Ell called and begged me to send over food since she’s too busy studying.” A stupid grin stretches across my face as I reach for the napkin. She flicks it back. “Don’t make me regret this Kase. I like you. Right now. But you screw with her, you will regret it.”
I nod, happy that Ellie has a friend like her. “I promise I won’t hurt her.” If anyone gets hurt, it’ll be me. She flicks the napkin forward and I snatch it. I glance up from the napkin, confused. “Do you serve this here?”
“Not unless I’m hiding a sushi chef in the back,” she snickers. “I figured if you will take her something, it might as well be something she really likes.”
An hour later with dinner in hand, I wonder when she started liking sushi. She hated it when she was a teenager. She's different now. I need to stop looking for similarities and focus on the woman she is today. It’s been two weeks since our first date. Our schedules have been hectic, preventing a second, so I’m indebted to Tori for this. I only hope Ellie doesn’t mind.
“Hey,” she says, answering the door. “What are you doing here?”
I hold up the bag of sushi and her eyes widen. “Thought you might be hungry.”
Her face transforms, one eyebrow lifts up. “Actually, I just ate.”
I bite my lip from laughing, knowing she’s lying. “Hmm. Guess I’m having sushi alone tonight.” I shrug, and turn around to walk away, but she lunges forward, seizing my shirt.
“Okay, I lied. I’m starving.”
I hide the amused smile on my face when I turn and mosey into her apartment. Papers are scattered across the living room floor, so I place the food on the dining table.
“So, how long have you and Tori been best buddies?”
I chuckle, leaning back in a chair with my legs spread out and my arms behind my head. “Not sure what you mean?”
“I call bullshit. You don’t just show up with food…” She peeks at the writing outside the Styrofoam boxes. “My exact favorite rolls, after I called Tori telling her I was starving.”
I shrug. “I might've had a little birdie tell me.”
“More like a big mouth parrot, who likes to repeat things,” she snickers, taking off the plastic lids. “But I appreciate it. I needed a break from studying.” I watch her open the soy sauce packets, pouring them in a small cup and add wasabi to it, mixing it together and then rearrange her sushi in front of her. Her blue eyes peek up through her lashes and she softly smiles. “I feel as if you’re studying me.”
Always. Every move you make, I take note.
“I’m just enjoying your very methodical way of eating sushi.”
When she takes her first bite, she moans. I try to ignore the sound, tapping my chopsticks on the table, making them even. As I’m dipping a piece into soy sauce, another moan comes out and I drop my sushi into the bowl. I glance at her. “You have to stop making those noises,” I rasp, adjusting my shorts to make room for my semi-hard dick. Her cheeks redden, and she bites her bottom lip.
Fuck! Stop doing that too!
“I’m sorry. My stomach has been yelling at me to eat something for the past two hours. Thank you for bringing it.”
“You should taste the sushi in Tokyo. It’s amazing. The freshest sushi you’ll ever have.”
“I can imagine. Then again, it’s probably better I not go, I’d hate to ruin my love for it here.” She brings another
bite to her mouth. When she finishes, she asks, “Have you been to a lot of places?”
I nod, thinking about the places I could never tell her. There are too many to count. “Most weren’t glamorous though.”
She lets out a quiet hum and twirls her hair. I wonder what she’s thinking to make her nervous. “Are you doing okay? I would imagine being away from all that and dealing with…” She hesitates, winces and looks away. “You don’t have to answer. I just—”
I lay my hand on hers to calm her fidgetiness. “I’m doing all right. I have my moments, but mostly, I’m good.” I flash a reassuring smile. My nightmares aren't meant to be shared. They’re becoming less frequent these days.
I can’t help but use this moment to see if she’ll share a little with me. “How did you get this?” I gently pull my thumb down her forearm, tracing the four-inch scar. She pulls her arm back, cradles it against her stomach.
“I was in an accident. Years ago.” Her voice is calm, but the way her body tenses, her eyes dilate, I can tell she’s nervous. She chews the inside of her cheek, debating if she'll tell me more. “Sorry.” She shakes her head and looks away. “I don’t like talking about it.”
I inwardly cringe. Why did I bring it up? We’re moving forward, I can’t have her slide back, doubt creeping back into her head. “Hey, that’s okay. Look, I’ve got a shitload of scars,” I say, lifting my shirt and pointing at one. Her eyes widen, and she lets outs a small gasp.
“Is that a bullet wound?” She reaches across the table, her fingers glide over the glossy circle.
“One of three,” I reply, focusing on the wound and not her touch, sparking life into the nerveless skin.
“Kase.” She looks at me, worry etched in her expression. She’s testing my self-control being so close and touching me. I want to pull those pouty lips to mine and devour them. Remind her how right we fit together. Instead, I pull her fingers off and drop my shirt.
“It came with the job.”