by Tina Saxon
I dig the heels of my palm into my eyes, I’m so tired of being confused. Why do I think I’m making a mistake letting him go? I’ve been on my own for ten months, what’s different now?
“There’s also you, Wayne,” I whisper. “I told you I wouldn’t take Reed away. But Kase will be in his life now, too.”
“And what about us? Are we done? Say yes and I’ll sign the divorce papers. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Why do you sound bitter? I did nothing wrong.” I sit up taller, irritated by his tone.
He pulls in a deep breath, blowing out his cheeks. “I’ve lost my wife and I’m losing my boy—”
I clear my throat, wishing he would stop saying I’m taking him away, I‘m not.
He pauses for a moment, grimacing, but then continues between clenched teeth, “I have nothing left to be happy about.”
His hand wraps around the edge of the bench, and I lay my hand over it. “Reed loves you. And so do I…” He peers over at me with apprehension. “I need time to figure everything out. I’m not saying we’re done, but I’m not saying we have a future either. I don’t want to go back to you, and we both question whether it was because Kase chose Ellie.”
His eyes come back to life at my words. Hope fills his body as he jumps up and then kneels in front of me. “I will wait forever for you, Everly. As long as there’s hope, I will fight with everything I have to prove that we belong together.”
I grin at the man I’ve loved for ten years. Admitting out loud that I wouldn’t have searched for Kase had I known the truth from the beginning, was eye-opening. Wayne dedicated his life to making mine perfect. And it wasn’t a simple task. Standing by a woman who couldn’t remember her parents or how to drive and help raise her baby was proof enough he loved me.
“You need to accept that Kase will always be a part of our lives, though.”
He shrugs one shoulder, smirking. “I put up with the guy for eighteen years, what’s a few more?”
It’ll be harder for Kase to accept Wayne. Kase has nothing to lose hating Wayne, unlike Wayne who has everything to lose. I push that aside, not wanting to deal with that at the moment.
“I need to go back inside.”
He nods and stands back up. “Are you going to be okay while I run to the store?”
“Yeah. Do you want to take Reed, he’d probably like to get out of here for a little while?”
“Do you have to ask?”
“Thank you, again, for being here.” I rub his arm and he moves in to hug me but stops himself and smiles instead.
“Anytime, Jade.”
I can’t help but smile at the name. When I was terrified, not knowing a soul in this world, Wayne showed up in Arizona to help me. One day, he asked me to pick a new name, said I could be anyone I wanted to be. I wanted to be Jade. No idea why, I just liked the name. It didn’t stick, but instead turned into a joke only shared between the two of us. Leave it to Wayne to make me laugh when I needed it the most.
Kase hasn’t left Ellie’s side all afternoon. The doctor came out once and gave us an update. She’s stabilized, but she’s still in ICU due to all the blood loss. I want to see her, but I don’t want to take Kase away from her. Cody strolls in with lunch, setting at least twenty bags of Chick-fil-A on the table. My eyes widen wondering if he brought food for the entire waiting room.
“You better grab a bag before they’re all gone,” he says, leaning over.
My mouth opens to ask why, but then I snap it shut when oversized muscled men bombard the table, digging in the bags, taking handfuls of sandwiches and fries. Instead, I jump in and grab two and back away with the bags gripped tightly in my fist, eyeing the guys. I’d hate to cook for this crew.
“I’ll go see if Kase is hungry.”
Nobody is listening, so I slip away easily. The bright hallway is empty, my shoes squeak across the floor so I try to walk lightly, but it doesn’t help. It’s like eating popcorn in a theater when there is a lull point, you try to chew slower, but you feel stupid thinking everyone is staring at you.
The door to her room is closed and I pause outside her door questioning if I should even be here. I’m not here for Kase, I’m here for Ellie. She’s my sister. My twin sister. She’s inside me, part of me, of course, I belong here. My knuckles tap against the door and I wait.
Kase opens the door, and in a flash, I’m taken back to when his mom was dying. His blue eyes are dull and his face is tight with worry. I offer a small smile and hold up the bags. “I thought you might be hungry.”
His brow lifts and it’s the first sign of life I see in his face. “I’m surprised you could grab a bag.”
I chuckle. “Your friends are savages. Good thing I’m quick on the draw.”
His lips twitch and he nods, stepping back so he can open the door wider. I freeze at the sound of beeping and air being pumped into Ellie’s lungs and stare at her body, framed by the blanket and riddled with tubes and wires. My gaze darts to Kase and I squeeze the bags of food to my chest.
“You should sit with her.” He motions for me to keep walking. “I’ll give you some time together.” He squeezes my shoulder as he passes and the door shuts behind me. Wait, I‘m not ready. The room's walls close in and I draw in a ragged breath. I’m having an out-of-body experience, looking down at myself, fighting for my life. My steps are heavy as I take a couple toward my motionless body. ‘She’s not you’ my subconscious repeats and I shake out of the dreamlike state.
Sitting beside her, I cover her hand with mine. “Hi, Ellie, it’s me. Everly.” Tears threaten as our touch sends a flurry of emotions inside me. “I… I hope you can hear me.” I wait for a reaction, a squeeze of the hand or an eye twitch. But nothing changes so I close my eyes and rest my head against the cold sheets on the bed. “I just found you. Please don’t die.”
I take long deep breaths, focusing on our connection. We were once one, maybe being connected again, we can share my energy. She has to feel it. Feel me. When a hand touches my back, I flinch, jumping out of my seat, knocking it backward, the sound of wood hitting the floor rebounds through the room. My heart thumps and I scramble to regain my bearings.
“Hey, it’s just me,” Kase says, eyes wide open and hands up. He bends down to pick up the chair.
“Sorry. I must have dozed off.” I glance at Ellie, hoping to see a change. But she hasn’t moved. Disappointment I couldn’t help her tugs at my heart. “I can feel her. She’s still fighting,” I say when he sits down on the opposite side of the bed, weaving his fingers through hers.
“I would question how realistic that twin voodoo really is if I didn’t know better.”
“Twin voodoo?” I smirk as he nods. “If only I could use some of those special powers we have to help her.”
“You being here is helping her.”
I blink back my tears. “I hope.” Kase’s face jerks to Ellie’s and I look at her, but she hasn’t moved. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he beams, standing up and staring at her face. “She squeezed my hand. Ellie, can you hear me?”
Chapter Forty-Five
Ellie
I can hear myself talking to Kase. I sound weird, but it’s my voice.
“Twin voodoo?” I ask.
What is Kase talking about? And how do I hear myself talk, but my mouth isn’t moving? Wait, that’s not me. Everly is here. Kase’s hand slips into mine and I squeeze it, not planning to let it go.
“Ellie, can you hear me?”
I nod, not wanting to open my eyes. My body is heavy and my brain foggy. Voices come and go as I slip back under. Whenever I wake, Kase is always by my side. But my body isn’t ready to come alive yet.
Finally, I fight the pull and open my eyes. Swallowing feels like I’ve eaten a bag full of sharp Doritos. Kase brings a straw to my mouth and I take a sip, praying while I swallow it doesn’t kill me. Haven’t I been through enough? Balloons and flowers fill the table behind him. He’s the only one in the room this time.
“Hey, Cowboy.” My voice is so raspy it doesn’t sound like me. His smile reaches his eyes, and it’s the first time I notice the dark circles under them. “Reed?” I whisper, recalling what happened.
“He’s great.” He bends down and kisses me on my forehead then sits down. “Ray’s dead.”
The weight I’ve kept buried for ten years, crumbles to ash, my body feeling lighter as I imagine a life without fear. Tears fall down my face. “Really? He’s gone?” I ask, finding it hard to believe.
He nods, his gaze never leaving mine.
There are moments in your life you’ll always remember. This is one. The feeling of deliverance.
I’m free.
Kase cups my cheek, wiping my tears away. “You’re so beautiful, you made me forget my pick-up lines.”
I laugh and then wince from the pain. I slap him on the chest. “Stop making me laugh. You’re so cheesy.”
“Only with you,” he says, scooting his chair closer and then standing, pressing his lips to mine.
When he sits back down, I pull the sheets back and gingerly touch my stomach, my fingers running around the bandage. “He has a thing for that specific spot.”
Kase’s jaw ticks.
“Too soon?”
He glares at me. Yep, too soon.
“Were they able to get the bullet out?”
“Yes. You lost a lot of blood and had internal bleeding.”
“Did anyone else get hurt?” His gaze turns down and my heart sinks. My eyes dance around, trying to remember the night. “Was it Clyde?” I’m assuming it was because how else did Ray get passed him? “Kase, tell me.”
He pulls in a sharp breath and slowly releases it. “Clyde was found dead in his car. But that’s not it. I didn’t want to tell you until you were a little more stable.” I ready myself for the bad news. It’s not your fault, I keep telling myself, but the guilt is already hammering down on me, leaving marks. “Your dad was shot, but he’s doing great,” he quickly adds, as my mouth gapes open. No! No! I cover my face with my hands, my chin trembles as I suck in a breath. All he did for me, he doesn’t deserve this.
“He’s okay, baby. He’s already called to check on you at least ten times.” He pulls my hands from my face, making sure I’m listening. “I’ve talked to him and Max is sending his plane for him as soon as he gets out of the hospital.”
Warm tingles spread through my body knowing they’ve met on the phone. Oh no. I never had the chance to tell him about Everly or Kase asking me to marry him.
“What’s wrong?”
I wince. “Did you say anything to him about us getting married? Or I mean—”
The door flies open, and I stop talking, thankful for the interruption. We haven’t spoken since I left Texas, so I don’t know if he still wants to marry me.
“I’m done waiting for my turn,” Tori says, strolling into the room. “You’d think someone shot her or something.” I giggle at her brash attitude while Kase doesn’t seem to appreciate it. “Lighten up, baby-cakes, she’s fine.” She taps him on the cheek. “Why don’t you go get us some chocolate so we can have some girly time.”
He glances at me, his jaw tight. “We’re not done with that conversation.”
Biting my lip, I glance at the wire coming out of my hand, avoiding his intense stare. As soon as he’s out the door, Tori jumps in, “Oh, that sounded important, but I recognize that expression and you look like you’d rather go swimming in the ocean.”
“A shark eating me sounds pleasant right now.”
She snorts and sits on the bed, pushing wires to the side. “I’ll just get this out of the way, next time you go missing, send a freaking smoke signal or something! I was going out of my mind worried about you. Also, Everly… holy shit it’s weird looking at her and not thinking it’s you.”
“Just think how it is for me. If I raise my hand, I always expect hers to raise too, thinking she’s my reflection. It’s a mind fuck, for sure.”
She lies down beside me, wrapping her arm through mine. “Don’t go jumping in front of any more bullets, mmm’kay?”
“Sounds like a good plan.” I can see why Kase has nightmares.
“Now, tell me what conversation you’re avoiding?”
I sigh, rolling my head over to her. I haven’t been lucid long enough for this conversation, but she won’t let me off that easy. “Kase and I. Where we stand. We haven’t talked since Texas and the only thing I know is he didn’t choose Everly.”
She rolls her eyes and gives me an incredulous glare. “That man loves you more than the ocean and you know the weird obsession he has with that.” We both giggle. “Don’t doubt his love for you. There’ll be an adjustment between you and your sister because of Reed, but lover boy isn’t going anywhere. If you still want him.”
She’s right. Us being together might affect Everly and my relationship too. The struggle of wanting to be closer to my sister and being with Kase is real.
I’m enjoying a break of being alone, reflecting on the past week. So much has happened in the small amount of time, it’s dizzying. I’m in a wind tunnel, everything rushing past me, surrounding me at a powerful speed. I’m not sure how to come out alive without hurting people.
After a tap on the door, Everly sticks her head in. “Want company?”
Reed’s head peeks in under hers and his smile beams. “You definitely want to see me, right?”
I nod and motion for them to come in. Reed always enters a room with a force of energy, there’s no denying where he got that from. When Kase enters a room, it’s hard to look away.
“Did they let you keep the bullet?” Reed asks while he sits down next to me.
“Reed!” Everly stares at Reed with wide eyes.
He shrugs. “What? It’d be cool to keep something like that. I mean you keep my teeth.”
“No, I don’t,” she retorts. “The tooth fairy keeps them.”
His expression is priceless. Hers even more. She learned that her son doesn’t believe in the tooth fairy.
“It’s okay,” I pat her hand, consoling her. “It was bound to happen.”
“Are you sure she’s not real?”
His smart-ass smirk is identical to Kase's when he gets ready to tell me a cheesy pick-up line. “Mom. As soon as you installed a tooth fairy door, I learned it was you.”
My brows pinch together wondering what in the world he’s talking about.
“It was so cute though.” She smiles wide when she sees my confusion. “It’s a little door, with a little door handle and you put it on—” She stops herself and waves her hand. “Never mind. It was cute.”
I scratch my face and exchange a knowing look with Reed. His mom is a little too much. “To answer your question Reed, no. They didn’t give me the bullet.”
His eyes widen. “Do you still have a hole? Can you see through it?”
“No, Reed.” Everly shakes her head. “Okay, you said hi, why don’t you go back out with the guys.”
“Fine. They’re cooler than you anyway,” he says, strolling out of the room.
“I’m sorry. He doesn’t use his filter like he should.”
“It’s all right. He’s a cool little kid.”
“So…” She pulls her hair up in a bun, clasps her hands together in between her legs and stares at me for a moment. She sighs. “I don’t know if I should thank you or yell at you right now. I’ve thought a lot about this the last twenty-four hours and I’ve flipped flopped so many times I’ll just do both.” She swallows after her word dump. “Thank you for taking a bullet for me.” She put a hand up stopping me from talking when I open my mouth. “But why did you do it? If you would’ve died, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself.”
“Ray wasn’t there for you, that bullet was always meant for me. You have a son that needs you, I have…” I turn my head to stare out the window. I’ve never had a lot of important people in my life. I’ve always been a loner, always questioning people’s motives for wa
nting to get close so it was easier not to get close.
“Don’t you dare say you don’t have anyone because the waiting room staff would tell you a different story. I’ve met so many people who love you that have come to see how you’re doing.” Her eyes tear up, and she sniffles in between her words. “They told me stories about you and how much you mean to them. And then there’s Kase, he would’ve been destroyed.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, the tears falling down the sides of my face from hearing her describe what has been happening.
“Please don’t ever think I’m more important than you.”
I nod as she holds my hand. Thinking of the people in my life that are important, I surprise myself when the list ends up longer than I had originally thought. I created a family here in Gilley Cove and I was too burdened to notice it. Now that the burden has lifted, I see it.
“And I’m okay if you and Kase get married.”
I glance down at my feet and shift in the bed, folding my legs up.
“Ellie.” She waits until my eyes meet hers. “I’ll be all right. He might have loved me a long time ago, but who doesn’t have high school sweethearts they once upon a time loved?”
“This is a little different, Everly.”
She takes a deep breath. “Yes. A little. But we can figure it out. You’re in my life to stay no matter if you’re with Kase or not. You can’t take back meeting me.”
“What about you? What are you going to do?”
“That’s a loaded question. I had my perfect. I just need to see if it’s worth finding my way back to it.”
“Well, I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
“Are you kidding, we’ll be talking all the time!”
We both glance to the door when Kase clears his throat. “I don’t want to interrupt, but I have chocolate,” he smiles, holding up a bag of chocolate covered almonds. My favorite.